The Virgin Master (18 page)

“I can’t deny that I’m horny as hell. It’s been over four years. I also can’t deny that you’re incredibly attractive and sexy, and I like you
…
I’ve always liked you. But….that part of my life
is over. It was over when Justin died. This is just a normal
physiological response to stress. I have a right hand. I’m not going to use you
like
a toy.  I promised myself that there would never be anybody else but Justin.”

Jeremy raised himself on his elbows so he could see Evan’s face clearly.

“Evan….I didn’t know Justin much
,
if at all, but I’m sure he loved you. Unless love meant something a lot different to him
than it does to me, I’m also sure that he wouldn’t want you to be alone and unloved. Would he?”

“He’s not here. I have to live my l
ife for me, not for what Justin
would have wanted for me. And. I. Just. Can’t. Even if I could get close to someone else, it could never be you, Jeremy.”

Jeremy,
obviously
stung, got up and limped slowly to his room without another word. Evan did not follow him.
Evan lay on his back on the couch, bereft suddenly without Jeremy’s warmth. As soon as the words were out of his mouth he wished he’d never said them. He wished Jeremy had given him an opportunity to explain that it couldn’t be Jeremy because he already felt like he would die if he ever lost him.

He
couldn’t go through that again.
They couldn’t get any closer, because Evan still felt that someone would come and take Jeremy away from him at any minute. And, no matter what Jeremy said, Evan would never be sure that Jeremy wasn’t just giving in because Evan owned him. And could make him submit to discipline anytime he wanted. This was an extreme reaction to the trauma
             
both
m
en had just
forced themselves through. By
tomorrow, Jeremy would be glad they hadn’t taken this any further. So would Evan. He told himself that anyway.

*****

Jeremy lay on his stomach, trying to ignore the throbbing ache in his butt and thighs. He hadn’t taken any more pain medicine because the pain helped center him, and provided a needed distraction from the other, and in some ways deeper, pain in his chest. He tried to understand what Evan said. He knew Evan wanted him. Now, Evan knew that Jeremy loved him…and he had been pushed firmly away. Evan wasn’t
even
thirty yet and he wanted to live like his life was over and he was just waiting to die. Like death would come any minute.

W
ell, all I can do is be here and be as appealing as possible. I can tell he gets off on submission. I can do that. Hell, I even
like
to do that. For him. We are better matched than he knows yet. I will try harder. He’s young, he’s healthy,
and he
wants me. More than that; he needs me. I can work with that.

His mind flashed back to the discipline session and he shivered. When first placed in the restraints he panicked. The extremely uncomfortable position pulled all the tendons in the backs of his legs, strained his shoulders, and made blood rush to his head. He had only been shackled for seconds before he realized that just staying in position would set his body on fire in short order. The spanking had hurt a surprising amount, but had been over quickly. He felt pride that he hadn’t cried out or moved. After the pain of the slapping stopped, the pain in his buttocks became heat that washed through his groin and caused his cock to fill. He had not expected that anything like that could get him hard. The application of the strap and ring surprised him.

The paddle he felt down to the bones in his hips. He heard himself whine
and bit down hard on his lip to stop
. He felt
p
athetically grateful to Evan for thinking to give him permission to make noise. His body tried to lurch away from the paddle, but he was bound so well that he couldn’t even rise all the way to his toes. Additional pain began
in
his wrists and ankles as he fought to get free. He tried to stop, but it seemed that his body had a mind of its own. He
prayed that he wouldn’t embarrass Evan or
cause them to fail this inspection because he couldn’t control himself.

After the paddle, he found that he couldn’t breathe normally and had to pant. Tears ran down his face and dripped to the floor. As he heard Hubbard describe the flogger, he actually felt faint
…
but the amount of blood being forced to his head by his position prevented fainting, he thought.

The flogger put him completely out of his mind. He heard himself scream. Fortunately, he still had enough sense left to avoid begging although he begged plenty in his mind. He saw blood beginning to seep from around his ankle restraints. Every muscle tensed and fought to get away from the savage tearing pain Evan inflicted on him with the flogger. When Evan finished with that implement he noted crazily that he could actually feel the different degrees of pain on his body as if layered there. He could clearly discern which sensations came from the spanking, the paddling and the flogging. He panted and tried to stop crying as Hubbard explained the crop to Evan.

Jeremy braced himself for hell, but it wasn’t enough. The other pains had been variations on burning and stinging. This pain cut. It felt like Evan stabbed him repeatedly with a very dull knife. He wailed for the first time in his adult life. He could feel his thighs failing and his knees were suddenly
made of rubber. He fought to stay upright, dreading the consequences of failing to maintain a position he had been ordered to maintain. Static crackled in his ears and his vision narrowed to a long tube filled
with black floating specks. He panted and sobbed as Evan apparently cut his buttocks and thighs off.

Then it was over. As soon as new pain stopped being generated, heat flushed his entire body like an orgasm. None of his muscles seemed under his control and exhaustion crashed into him with a vengeance. The pain subsided to an all-encompassing
throbbing ache.
His thighs trembled violently and he prayed for Hubbard to move away so he could try to bend his knees and get to the floor. It was a shock when the inspector began releasing him from the shackles and slowly helped him stand up. He wanted Evan desperately. He wanted to look in his eyes so that Evan
would know that Jeremy still forgave him. Then Hubbard fucking hit on
Evan. Jeremy flushed with a different kind of heat. Every nerve in his body and all of his emotions were a tangled heightened mess.

And then there had been coming and kissing. Kissing Evan had been intoxicating; more than he ever dreamed; pleasure drowning pain. And then complete, utter rejection. Too confused and tired to even think, Jeremy fell asleep.

Chapter
Thirteen

Evan faced the rest of the long day. Already exhausted from the emotional turmoil of the test and his
s
leepless night, he decided to take the nap he’d been planning when he and Jeremy left the guest bathroom. He wanted to go check on Jeremy, but
h
e felt too ashamed to face him r
ight now. He shouldn’t have let
things go so far no matter what he might need.

He undressed to his boxers and slid back under the covers of his bed. Before he had time to think, sleep claimed him; followed by dreams.

    
Steven Hubbard came back because Evan had failed the first discipline test. He looked at Evan sadly.

  
“You only failed by
one point, so I’m not going to make you repeat the whole thing. Let’s just do spanking, okay? Get Jeremy out here.”

    
Evan went to get Jeremy. Jeremy refused to look at him, but he came out into the media room, where Evan was surprised to see that Steve had positioned an armless side chair in the middle of the room.

  
“Let’s be traditional today, shall we? Evan, get Jeremy undressed; then I want you to sit in this chair and let Je
remy stretch out over your lap.

    
Evan sat down in the chair, still fully dressed. Jeremy, blushing furiously
,
stripped on command and lay face-down across Evan’s lap. Listening to Hubbard’s instructions Jeremy
put his left hand on the floor and gripped the rear chair leg with his right hand. He stretched his legs out behind him, toes pointed. Almost all his weight lay across Evan’s lap.

  
“Evan, spread your legs---we don’t want him to be able to get any
friction on that cock of his.”

       
Evan spread his legs, letting Jeremy’s already slightly elongated
     
member hang down between his legs. The side of it almost touched the seat of the chair, so Hubbard repositioned Jeremy slightly so that his cock hung straight down between Evan’s legs into empty air. Jeremy’s perfectly formed ass lay displayed for him and Evan couldn’t help but run his hand
lightly over the warm, silky skin. Jeremy sighed and Evan felt himself begin to swell and fill as Jeremy squirmed a little bit to try to get better balance.

 
   
“Okay, now Evan, give him twenty on each cheek this time.
  
             
             
Jeremy I
 
need you to count the strokes. Every time you lose
             
             
count or fail to count, I’m going to ask Evan to start over.
             
             
Understand?

    
J
eremy nodded. Evan swallowed hard. He squeezed one of Jeremy’s buttocks gently before he started.

   
Thwack!

   
“One.”

 
 
Thwack!

“Two.”

J
ust like before Evan’s handprint stood out in bold relief on each of Jeremy’s buttocks. Evan continued to strike at a measured pace, trying to keep the same force behind each swing of his hand. Jeremy began counting calmly, but as Evan continued to strike him, his voice began to shake a l
ittle and he thrashed around
. Evan used one arm across the small of Jeremy’s back to hold him still and continued.

He felt Jeremy’s erection against his leg, and spread his legs wider, so that Jeremy wouldn’t be able to rub against him. Jeremy chased his leg by rolling his hips which got Evan so hard he ached.

Unconsciously, Evan increased the pace and power of his swings and soon, Jeremy lost count at twenty-five. He cried out when
Evan started over and really started struggling. He pulled his legs in to try to get his toes on the floor for leverage to get away. Hubbard kicked his feet
back and pulling another chair over, tucked Jeremy’s calves under it and sat down, effectively pinning Jeremy’s legs in place.

Evan’s breath came in shuddering gasps as Jeremy struggled to count so
 
that he could be understood, through his distressed cries.  His right thigh
kept steadily rubbing Evan’s hard length through the denim of his jeans,
the sharp teeth of the zipper almost biting into him through his box
ers. The
sting, instead of distracting Evan, added to the sensation until he was arching up in the chair pushing against Jeremy’s leg
. He tried
to be subtle, but he knew Hubbard had to be seeing everything. Although sobbing by this time, Jeremy managed to keep the count through to the end. When he yelled out “Forty,” Evan came
in his pants.

And Evan woke up panting, cock still spurting.
Oh, God. What’s wrong with me? Why would I dream about that?
But the
d
ream flashed through his mind again, sending another pulse of guilt-tinged pleasure through his body.

*****

Jeremy slept straight through until Sunday morning when overwhelming hunger woke him up. He groaned as he rolled over to try to get out of bed; every muscle in his body screamed at him and memories of the discipline inspection washed over him, followed by Evan’s declaration that he could never have feelings for Jeremy.