The Unwritten Rule (13 page)

SCOTT ELIZABETH THE UNWRITTEN RULE

PURPLE ROSE FORUM

TRANSLATED BY: Sheilita Belikov Edited by: Mau

Dad says S o - - morning. How do you feel?

We are sitting on the kitchen table, both with breakfast. Best - - say, although I’m not. Ryan did not want to call last night, wanted him to call me. He did not and I was happy and sad and confused … actually sometimes I feel like two people. One of them wants that Brianna is good because she is my best friend and her parents hate how they hurt. The other wants her to be good for Ryan to tell him it’s over. No, I’m definitely feeling better. Only divided into two, and I can not get together again. Mom calls me when I go to the front door. - Sarah, is everything fine with Brianna? - I think so. I mean, as much as she can be. - And you … are you okay?

- I swear I’m feeling better. Mom.

-E

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- not that … yesterday, you were on the phone, Sarah. I could hear that you were talking about, but it was pretty obvious who it was. I stare at her. She knows. He puts a hand on my arm, her eyesfull of concern. - Do you know what you’re doing, Sarah?- No-I say, and to my surprise, she hugs me.Beware — she says, then kisses me on the cheek. Says:- Brianna is here. Way out slowly. When Brianna and I go, I see my mom in the kitchen with dad, the two sitting together at the kitchen table, talking. They look so happy.- Do you think we’re all going to end up like our parents?- asked.- No-Brianna says, her voice sharp, surprised, and after a moment - says: “I … I act like her? His hands are tight on the wheel and carefully I deny my head, saying:- That was a stupid question. Just thinking about my mom and her cooking and stuff.- You can not cook at all-Brianna says, her hands relaxinga little. - She smiles. Hey, grab my bag and use the brush inside to fix your hair because it’s a little everywhere at this time. I do, thinking about what I said. Brianna is not like your mother. Not really. She takes care of me, well, sometimes says things that hurt me, but her mother just wants to think Brianna is nothing. Brianna wither me from that. I - - … thanks for yesterday says as we enter the parking -. For hearing about my dad and all that. It was … you were great, as always. Mom was … well, you can imagine how I was. - Is it so wrong?

- Yes She was so happy. Is getting what he wants, and he said he can call in any way that makes you happy as long as

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understand you have to pay for me. She did not say anything about … he did not want to see me again. - That… - even if your mother, that’s bad -. Sorry. - - If she says, then shakes his head -. Come on, okay? - - course I say, and while walking to school, I wish to make their parents stop being so stupid. I want to stop seeing it as one thing. I want to be parents who are supposed to be. - - Do not, she says, as we head down the hall. - Do not do what? Worrying - - she says, clutching one of my hands gently -. I’m fine, really Mom I can handle. And it’s not as if Dad was a lot of time around anyway. - still sucks. He shrugs, then smiles. - - I have you she waves her hand to Ryan, who is standing down the hall, watching us. - And him. What else do I need? Me - - Greg says, coming to our side. He puts his arm around me as she smiles to Brianna, who smiles back but continue to go to Ryan. I pause. I can not go. Not Ryan. Not now. So - - - Greg says, what you doing tonight? I look at him. He is crazy about Brianna, I know, and I know what this is. - I do not know what to do, but I know that Brianna has plans and if you’re waiting to see … Greg, she has a boyfriend. And though they knew where to go, not tell. - I know you will not, but she did - - he says. You’ll see. I know how she is. I like games, me too. That’s why we’re perfect for each other. Tell him I said that when she asked for me She’s not going - - ask say, but he’s right. She asks. Approached me between classes and says: What did Greg - they were talking about earlier?

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I stare at her. - I said I’d ask him and you two were perfect for each other. She rolls her eyes blank. - bet he did. - What do you care what he said? - Do not do it, I mean, is Greg, no big deal. Just ask me, that’s all … - his voice trails off when I say nothing, then - says: Sarah, I see you squinting, and it’s really not worth it. Just wanted to know who spoke. What he said. That’s it. It’s like a game, you know? - That’s exactly what he said - say, and Brianna looks away, as if something on the side called her attention and she did not listen. But I know he did.

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TRANSLATED BY: Nathyab CORRECTED BY: Brooke

eo Ryan after lunch. There are a lot of noise. The crowded aisles as usual, but then his eyes meet mine and when that happens the sound fades. Everything vanishes, and all I see is him. Only I see him, and it is frightening how easily I get, as is molded into my heart. We turn next to another, and the second careful we do last forever and not nearly long enough. My gaze is caught by his own, he remains all I can see, our fingers and then rub against each other, not by accident, not pretend, I can not, in a caress that lasts the blink of an eye but let me with the impression of his hand against mine. And then he says: “I have to talk to you. and touches my arm. Just rubs his fingers along, but it startled me. Moves me. It makes me realize that he has moved even closer, and I even closer.

“I’ll talk to her tonight. “He says. I know things were wrong with his father yesterday, and she is upset, but I do not, I do not want to see you for a second in the corridor as now. Do not want to say hello and follow

V

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walking. I want … I want you to be our real. I want us to just you and me. - Are you going to talk to her tonight? “My head spins, my heart is beating strongly, and this is all I wanted, it’s all I want, but now … Now I’m scared. I did not know it would be like us, that would be something I can not control. I would say, “Okay. -And say seriously. And I do. I actually say, “Okay,” and I say seriously. Okay, I want the talk to Brianna. Okay, I want to be with him and not only for a brief moment in the hallway as he said. Okay, I want to be together. It’s real. They have taught me that love is beautiful and kind, but nothing is. If it is beautiful, but it’s a terrible beauty, a vicious, and you fall, you fall, and the thing is, “The thing is, you want it. You do not care what’s coming, you just want to that for which your heart beats. “I’m pretty sure she knows I want to finish, but I want as I have already ruined enough, Ryan says,” I wish that I’d only been talking to you that first night, I would not have been so afraid to say what they wanted “His face is grim. Remain silent is something that we both know. He will tell you have done, and she may already know, but just hurt her. He hurt her. I could say enough. I could say that I do not want. I could lie. I know how, is not it? But I said nothing. I just stood there, silent, the two together yet not. And then the bell rings and we must continue, both carrying the rest of our day.

I stumble through it the best I can, frightened and excited, and then Brianna finds me after school, her hand on my arm making me jump as if I were surprised.

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- What about you? “She says, first Ryan disappears completely after that I would say tonight, and it was this morning, and then you were not waiting in my car. How long have you been here standing by your locker? Do not you know we have to go? I doubt. Should I get a ride home with her? “Act as if everything was OK when not? “Sarah,” she said impatiently, and I start to shake my head, I begin to say I have something to do. I know my mom is coming to get me if I call. “Okay, going to do this when we were in the car, but I can not wait, look, a gift! “She says and hands me a small box, carefully wrapped and tied with a small blue ribbon. I kept looking. “Not wise, right? “Brianna says, was so hard not to say this morning, but wanted to wait until the end of classes to give it. - What-why did this? “I say, my voice comes out weak, weak. “Because, you’re best friend, duh-Brianna says smiling” Open it! “She’s happy, so damn happy, and I do, my clumsy fingers on the box. Inside is a silver chain with a circle at the end. “It means eternal friendship” Brianna says, or at least he said it meant the woman at the store where I got it. I bought it for your birthday, but after yesterday, you deserve it completely. I begin to mourn. “Listen,” Brianna says, and I wrapped an arm around me, heading out to his car, “is a necklace. Is supposed to tell you, do not mourn. Are you going to? Wear it. My hands are shaking. I tell him everything. I want to go home and wait all this. This is the worst thing that ever will be. Today, now, is what I feel worse than ever. Except it is not.

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TRANSLATED BY: evelin CORRECTED BY: Brooke

rianna not take me home, however, do not notice it at first. I’m too busy rolling a finger around the collar that I have since, recalling how she rescued me in kindergarten. How do I know you hate cottage cheese, loves chocolate hazelnut spread and has an old pillowcase that his grandmother gave him. I know that was the only thing he managed to hide when his mom got rid of everything that had given her grandmother after she died. I know that after that, when his dad finally left, Brianna did not eat anything for three days, until I cried and I said I would die if he did (he had seen one of those TV movies about eating disorders and I had terrified) and she blinked slowly and said: - Would you mind if I die? I had not known exactly how horrible Brianna’s mother had felt before. I had not realized that with her missing father, the mother of Brianna downloaded your life and all the bad things in it.

B

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Collar loose, letting her soft weight is set around my neck and then I realize that we are crossing the driveway. “I thought …” I say and then I stop because I feel too guilty to say I should take my home. I wanted to go home. “I know, usually I’m taking you home and stay there, but, okay,” he says. Last night, after I went home and mom was … Mom … I stayed up very late because I could not sleep and I made brownies. - Did you make brownies? “I know. “He says. I was also surprised, but after I wrapped your necklace I thought about how great it has been this year-not that you had not always been, but you are sometimes a bit picky. However, lately you’ve been totally comprehensive, so I wanted to thank you. “I need some air or something. “I say and open the car door. I want to vomit, I want that big dramatic moment as the one you see on television or read in books. I want to be so sick of myself that in fact my body is against me but instead, just look at the floor, while my stomach churn. Then Brianna is out of the car, bending, appearing in front of me, smiling and pushing the collar so it begins to swing back and forth. “Come, come to eat brownies. “I can not tell by looking at the collar and she takes my arm and says” You can do whatever you want. To be free means make your own decisions, right? I’m sure of it. We just talk about it in my stupid philosophy class. It is the worst of all elective. “Yes,” I say the word is too bitter in my mouth. I have taken my decision and I knew everything. I know what I should do. I know that this is where I have to tell her everything. But I do and the worst part is I know I will not. I had opportunities, many opportunities, and I remained silent. Why? Because I know Ryan and I know that when he talked to her tonight, do not say it is for me. I know he will keep silent.

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I want Ryan and I are together and Brianna never know that the kiss became so significant that would not let go. I do not want Brianna angry with me and if she finds out what happened, what I have done, surely be angry a lot. I want Ryan, but I also want to keep my best friend and is there a way to do this because Brianna never guess he was looking at me when I was with her. Never would. “Look, Brownies! She says when we entered the kitchen and points to a small dish on the counter. The catch, I removed the plastic wrap and sits on the kitchen table. I have no doubt. I am also taking a ponderous brownie with chocolate chips. The chocolate will not cure everything. At least Mom has a kitchen apron that says, but he knows so well and if I’m eating, I have to think about. No I have to tell me I will in a minute or just need to find a way to start. No I have to hate me for lying. “So, I’m a good cook, right? “Brianna says when I start my second brownie. She pulls a piece of chocolate brownie and shoots her in her mouth. I think being close to your mom beat me their skills. She smiles. “Or maybe I just did a mix and put pieces of chocolate in it. Do not tell your mom, okay? I know how you feel about the mix-she lowers her voice and added, “and do not tell my mom either. I took the chocolate from his hiding place in the refrigerator. - You did what? “I say surprised because Brianna is always very careful not to mess with things from her mother. “She’s getting everything you ever wanted from dad. Can spread one, two or three bars of chocolate “Brianna said, still smiling, but now his smile is much closer. Sadder. “You know we have to be friends until we’re both senile, right? “She says. I mean, brownies and a necklace. You can not go beyond that, does it? -Is trying to sound like kidding, but that’s the thing about being the best friend Brianna. I know when she actually means something. I know when doing damage. I know when to make her feel better.

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“It’s insurmountable,” I say. Or is it until you’re famous and you can tell people that I know, the superstar actress. “You can be my assistant,” he says. Answering fan mail, help me with my lines. - When do you know if you got the lead role in the play? “Soon,” he says. It’s something about Shakespeare, but we’re doing a modern adaptation, you heard us talking about that night you came to my house with the clothes. I watch my brownie and she keeps talking. “Knowing Mrs. Leslie, that means that all the girls do the interpretations of all boys and girls will be boys. Which is not very modern, it was actually used since there were kids all interpretations. But anyway, I just I have to get pass the test. “You’ll be great. - Do you believe? I nod. Brianna is happiest when he is acting. It may be someone else when you can stand in a world that is not this a world where parents do not have, not make them feel. “Okay, two more bites and end,” she says. Should I wear my blue shirt tonight? Ryan likes, but I think I look better with pink, lace. Ryan’s not like I go to watch the chest, however, he always does, but … “Hey, what if a guy started liking but instead you end up liking me? “I say, interrupting and sugar has made me stupid, maybe it’s because what she just said about Ryan. Maybe I’m saying they should, maybe I’m finally starting the conversation that I know we have to have. I look and I hope your answer. “I thought you said you did not like Greg,” he says. “I,” that’s not what I said. I said if you liked a guy decides he likes me, what do you think?