The Twitter History of the World (11 page)

@BerlinMayor
Feeling so moved that the Berlin Wall has come down. We need an event to celebrate our new found freedom and the end of tyranny. Any ideas?
11.13pm, November 9, 1989

@DavidHasselhoff
@BerlinMayor I could perform a New Year concert on the remains of the Wall?
11.17pm, November 9, 1989

@BerlinMayor
Actually, is it too late to put the Wall back up?
11.19pm, November 9, 1989

When the Wall that had kept east and west Berlin apart for three decades finally came down, who would have thought that Knight Rider and Baywatch star David Hasselhoff would headline the celebratory concert?

@NelsonMandela
@WinnieMandela Did you tape #CoronationStreet while I was away? I expect that @HildaOgden is still an interfering old bat!
4.14pm, February 11, 1990

@WinnieMandela
@NelsonMandela Er, we can come to that – we’ve got a lot to talk about.
4.15pm, February 11, 1990

@NelsonMandela
@WinnieMandela Answer the question: did you tape Corrie – yes, or no?
4.15pm, February 11, 1990

@WinnieMandela
@NelsonMandela No. I’ve been a bit busy kidnapping and assaulting people.
4.15pm, February 11, 1990

@NelsonMandela
@WinnieMandela BIYYYYYAAATCH! I’m divorcing you!
4.15pm, February 11, 1990

Leading anti-apartheid Nelson Mandela was released from prison in South Africa after 27 years in February 1990. Four years later he was elected President.

@Gazza
Now @GaryLineker has equalised we cannae affords any more slips, leeke.
9.47pm, July 4, 1990

@Gazza
Take that, @ThomasBerthold!
9.48pm, July 4, 1990

@TheRef
@Gazza You’re booked, son!
9.49pm, July 4, 1990

@Gazza
Fuck, I’m out of the final now. A booo hooo hooo hooo, leeke!
9.50pm, July 4, 1990

‘Houston…the commander took his glove off to microblog…’

@GaryLineker
@BobbyRobson Have a word with him! *Pulls strange expression and tries not to shit himself*
9.50pm, July 4, 1990

@RaoulMoat
Gutted for @Gazza, I just want to take him a can of lager, some chicken, a mobile phone and something to keep warm…
9.55pm, July 4, 1990

@ChrisWaddle
@Gazza @GaryLineker @BobbyRobson
@RaoulMoat Divvun worry, we’ll cock-up the penalties anyway, leeke.
9.56pm, July 4, 1990
[Retweeted by @StuartPearce]

Paul ‘Gazza’ Gascoigne’s tears after a yellow card ruled him out of the 1990 World Cup Final made him a national icon. Missed penalties from Chris Waddle and Stuart Pearce made the booking a technicality – but Gazza’s elevation to superstardom could not be stopped.

@TimBernersLee
I just implemented the first successful communication between a Hypertext Transfer Protocol (HTTP) client and server. Happy Xmas, y’all!
3.12pm, December 25, 1990

@PeopleOfBritain
STFU – we’re watching @QueenLiz2’s speech!
3.13pm, December 25, 1990

@TimBernersLee
You don’t understand – this prototype offers WYSIWYG browsing/authoring!
3.14pm, December 25, 1990

@PeopleOfBritain
Snoooooorrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeee…
3.16pm, December 25, 1990

@GaryGlitter
Just had a peek at this internet thing. Hats off to @TimBernersLee – a true game-changer.
4.21am, December 28, 1990
[Retweeted by @ChrisLangham & way too many others.]

The World Wide Web sprang into life on Christmas Day, 1990. It has been a force for good (and the not so good) ever since.

@SaddamHussein
Just mooched into Kuwait. #AndItFeelsSoGood
10.11pm, August 2, 1990

@GeorgeBush
@SaddamHussein See you there, dude #gameon
9.30am, January 16, 1991

@SaddamHussein
@GeorgeBush Oh, scared. #Not
9.33am, January 16, 1991

@GeorgeBush
We’ve got @SaddamHussein’s ass out of Kuwait.
#swag
10.10pm, February 28, 1991

@SaddamHussein
@GeorgeBush But you didn’t finish me off, did you? #inoffthered
10.11pm, February 28, 1991

@GeorgeBush
@SaddamHussein @Dubya Heck, you gotta leave something for your boy.
10.14pm, February 28, 1991

The first Gulf War, fought in 1991, saw the Allies remove Saddam Hussein’s army from Kuwait.

@QueenLiz2
Gosh, @Prince Andrew and @Fergie are going to split up. At least there aren’t any #embarrassingfergiephotos or wotnot.
12.11pm, March 19, 1992

@QueenLiz2
Now @PrincessAnne is getting divorced. Oh well, onwards and upwards.
11.12pm, April 23, 1992

@AndrewMorton
Proud to be publishing
Diana: Her True Story
today.
9.00am, June 16, 1992

@QueenLiz2
Shit. #embarrassingfergiephotos
8.44am, August 1, 1992

@QueenLiz2
Blast, Windsor Castle is on fire. Worried one will have to doss the night at a hotel in Slough or somesuch.
8.12pm, November 20, 1992

@PrinceCharles
@QueenLiz2 Ma, sorry to break it to you this way, but @Diana and I are getting divorced.
5.59am, December 9, 1992

@QueenLiz2
Can one get #AnnusHorribilis trending?
6.01am, December 9, 1992

The monarchy was rarely amused during 1992.

@AntoniaDeSancha
#FF @DavidMellor – because he’s soooo powerful and beautiful…
11.12am, September 25, 1992

@DavidMellor
@AntoniaDeSancha Beautiful? Me? You’ll be telling me @JohnMajor’s a player, next!
11.13am, September 25, 1992

@EdwinaCurrie
@DavidMellor @AntoniaDeSancha Well, now you mention it…
11.16am, September 25, 1992

@TimYeo
@JohnMajor Boss, you know the whole #backtobasics campaign? Problem: I’ve got my mistress up the duff. Happy Xmas, anyway!
11.51pm, December 24, 1993

@JohnMajor
Fuck me. At least it can’t get any worse…
6.02am, December 24, 1993

@StephenMilligan
Wearing ladies’ underwear & stockings? Check. Electric flex around neck? Check. Poppers-soaked orange in my mouth? Check. Ok - party time!
8.40pm, February 8, 1994

@MohammedAlFayed
DM to @NeilHamilton
Did you get the brown envelope? Make sure you ask that question for Big Mo.
5.12am, 2 October, 1994

@JeffreyArcher
Won’t Tweet for a while as I’m orf to prison. It’s my choice to go to jail. I’m happy about it. Honest. I’ve been to Mars. Twice. Seriously.
4.22pm, August 9, 2001

During the 1990s the Conservative Party was hit by a succession of scandals. Despite leader John Major’s efforts to promote family values as part of a ‘back to basics’ drive, his MPs continued to embarrass him and the party, to the amusement of a nation.

@GeorgeGalloway
#FF @SaddamHussein I salute his courage, his strength, his indefatigability.
11.11am, July 11, 1994

@SaddamHussein
@GeorgeGalloway Thanks dude. Means a lot.
11.18am, July 11, 1994