She rubbed her cheek against it, she kissed it! She ripped off bits of it with her mouth and ate it. Moss!
Moss only grew on rocks close to the water.
She managed another root and another quarter-meter—but she couldn’t hold on. The root gave way, the good arm gave way, and she fell back down into the twigs, onto the steel trap, to the bottom.
Time went by. Went by, went by.
Tatiana regained consciousness and tried again, much slower. She took her time because she had the
time
. Failure, falling back again was not an option. If she fell again, she would not get up. The sun was shining up above, a pale obelisk in the sky.
It was morning, perhaps ten or eleven. She found south, she found north and west. Perhaps she might find the lake after all. There was only one problem—Tatiana had nothing left for walking. The clearing, with the sun unobstructed by the damned pines, would have to be good enough.
The first thing she did after she crawled out was tie up her arm using the laces from her shoes and two sturdy short branches for a splint. She fainted only once, and finished tying it up while on her back on the grass. After stumbling up, she awkwardly collected some damp twigs and branches using only her left arm, and catching the sun with her magnifying glass like a concentrated hot beam, she managed to set some dry leaves on fire. It took her several attempts, but she did finally light a small twig with the burning leaves, and once she did, the rest of the twigs were blazing in a few minutes. She sat in the warmth, she couldn’t move. On her good side she lay down in front of the fire and closed her eyes.
No sooner did she lie down than Tatiana heard screams—of terror worse than falling into a bear trap. But she wasn’t getting up now that she found an open space with sunlight and built a fire. Going close to the woods? No—not a meter, not a centimeter.
But what to do? The screams wouldn’t cease.
Reluctantly Tatiana struggled up and limped over to the edge of the clearing. Who was that screaming? Was it Marina? But Marina was home in bed under warm covers, wasn’t she?
“God, help me! Help me!” a voice was shrieking. It sounded a
lot
like Marina.
Tatiana stood, supported by a tree. Finally she called out, “Marina?” She was hoarse; she called out again, and the voice stopped shrieking suddenly, and was mute. “Marina?” Tatiana said again, softly. There was a sobbing gasp, there were crunching, running, galloping footsteps through the woods. There was no more calling, just insane fear and relief in the whimpers and footsteps of another person.
A shape appeared in the trees, a shape that looked like Marina, except this haunted face, this wet, shaking body, black with mud, was not—no, it was Marina.
When Marina saw Tatiana standing at the edge of the forest, leaning against a tree, she completely lost control. She became so overwrought, Tatiana thought Marina was going to hurl onto her. She had to protect herself against a filthy wretch who dropped to the ground, sobbing. Marina stretched out her arms to Tatiana, who, with her body turned sideways to protect her arm, made no move toward her cousin.
“Oh, it’s you,” Tatiana said. “I’m surprised you’re still here.”
“Oh, Tania!” Marina sobbed cravenly. “Oh, Tania. I’m
so
sorry. But you have no idea what happened to me.”
“And more to the point, I don’t care,” Tatiana said, holding her broken arm to her chest. She turned and walked back to the fire.
Marina hobbled close behind. “We’re not far enough, Tanechka,” she whispered. “We can’t stay here. We have to get away.”
“Get away from what?”
“From
her
,” Marina whispered, flinching and glancing around. “Please, we have to run as fast as we can.”
Calmly and slowly Tatiana sat down in front of the fire, threw some more branches on, some moss, some old berries. She wanted the smoke to be as black and acrid as possible, and to rise to the sky, and to emit a smell that could be detected from kilometers away. “I’m not moving from this spot,” she said. “You can go though. Why don’t you run along? But quick, Marina. Quick.” She paused. “Like before.”
“Tania! Please! I’m sorry. Tania, God! I know you’re upset. I know you’re furious. You have every right to be. But right now, please, we have to get away. She is going to find us, she’s going to come after us.”
“Let her come.” Tatiana didn’t even turn her head to the woods.
“She’s got rabies, Tania…” Marina whispered with revulsion.
Tatiana glanced at Marina, slightly less calmly. “Ah,” was all she said.
Marina jumped up. “Well? Are you coming or aren’t you?”
“I guess, the answer would have to be,” said Tatiana, “aren’t I.”
“Tania!”
“Stop,” Tatiana said, her face only to the fire. She wasn’t looking at Marina. “Stop. Sit down, or go away. Run or sit, but stop this nonsense. Stop your carrying on and take one look at me. Can you even see what’s happened to me?”
“We found a stream, Tanechka,” Marina whispered. “We found a stream, not too far in the woods. It will lead us to the lake, just like you said.”
“
I
said that?” Tatiana shrugged. “I’m not going into the woods again. And isn’t
she
by the stream?” She lifted her face to her cousin. The girls stared at each other. “I’m not going back into those woods, Marina,” whispered Tatiana.
Marina started retching, retching and crying. “I’m sorry, Tania. It was supposed to be a joke. You were supposed to come and look for us.”
“I was, was I? Well, I wish someone had told me what it was exactly I was supposed to do.”
Babbling, rambling, shaking, Marina told Tatiana everything. She kept nothing hidden. She told of her own complicity and of her own realizations, and of Sabir and Murak, and of the days in the woods and of the crawling infected thing trying to get to her.
A slightly trembling but a preternaturally calm Tatiana pronounced, “Well, well,” at the end of Marina’s story, and then said nothing.
“Do you see why we have to run?”
“No.” Tatiana sighed. “Don’t worry about Saika anymore. Worry only about being found yourself.”
“I
have
been found!” Marina cried. “But we’re hardly going to get out of the woods sitting by the fire!”
“Go then,” said Tatiana. “You’ve been walking three days in the woods, you haven’t found a rock to help you. I’ve been walking three days in the woods. Where did it get me? But now we have a fire, and the smoke is rising over the pines. If somebody is looking for us, this will be what they’ll be looking for. If they’re not, well, then…I’m inclined to sit and wait. I don’t have the strength I had at the beginning of this. But please, don’t let me stop you. By all means”—Tatiana glared at Marina—“do what you like—as always.”
As if Marina could move a meter from Tatiana. “Why do you think she won’t be coming here?” she said, panting.
“Spinal cord paralysis,” said Tatiana. “She might want to. She just won’t be able to.”
“Is it…” Marina paused, “
ever
curable?”
“No.”
“So what’s going to happen to her now?”
“Saika,” said Tatiana, “is going to die in the woods. She’s probably dead already. Like we still might be.”
Marina lay down in front of Tatiana, in front of the fire. “I’m not alone anymore,” she whispered, closing her eyes. “I don’t care what happens now. I’m not alone.”
They remained close together. Tatiana did not touch her.
“You’re very upset with me?” Marina whispered.
“More than I have the ability to discuss with you.”
“I’m sorry.” But Marina’s eyes were closing. “What time is it?”
Tatiana looked up at the sky. “One maybe. One thirty.” Oh, that pale yellow sun. She wanted a life where the sun beat down on her three hundred days a year, not the miserly sixty-five in this northern neck of the woods. When she looked back down at her cousin, Marina was asleep.
She slept for forty-five minutes, while Tatiana sat awake under the sunshine and fed the fire and watched Marina slumber as if she were home in a comfortable bed.
Just as early evening was covering the land, she heard voices from the woods calling her name. “Tatiana…Tatiana…!” Not one voice, but a chorus of voices. Male, female, young, old.
She struggled to her feet. Marina woke up, jumped up.
“Taaaaaania…Taaaaaania…”
“Oh my God!” Marina cried. “You were right! They found you!”
Tatiana didn’t have the strength to run, to shout, and Marina—who had the strength—didn’t. She took Tatiana’s good hand, ignoring Tatiana’s flinching.
“Tanechka, I beg you,” she whispered in a panic. “
Please
don’t tell them. Please. It was just a joke gone horribly wrong. I learned my lesson. I almost died, too. I’ll never do it again. But please don’t tell them.”
“Don’t worry. It’s just between you and me, Cousin Marina,” Tatiana said without emotion, pulling her hand away. “It’ll be our little secret.”
Marina ran then, yelling. “Help! Here! Here! Help!”
Dasha came running through the clearing, crying, yelling Tatiana’s name. Pasha was next to her, Babushka behind her, then Deda, and then Mama! That was surprising. Mama! Wailing,
Oh, Tania, Tania.
Uncle Boris came too, for Marina, his only child. He looked very upset. “Who do we yell at around here?” he said, holding Marina to him. “Who is responsible for this?”
But Tatiana’s family was so shocked at the state of their baby that they were not in the mood to be yelling at anyone. The broken arm horrified them. When Tatiana told them she had jumped into a bear trap, by the emotional reaction of her family, you’d think they had all jumped in with her.
“You did what?” said Marina with surprise.
Pasha looked away from Tatiana and toward Marina. “What do you mean,
you did what
?” he said suspiciously. “Where the hell were you that you don’t know this?”
Dasha, too, stared unhappily at Marina, almost if they could tell something unholy went down that Tatiana wasn’t sharing.
“Why would you do such a stupid thing as jump into a bear trap?” asked Mama.
“To save myself from the bear,” quietly replied Tatiana.
Mama almost fainted.
Deda said, enough talking, all of you; she is in no state to be talking. He tried to pry Tatiana from their clutching arms. But they wouldn’t let go of her. He gave her a flask filled with water. She drank, she swooned. Dasha held the flask to her mouth, and Tatiana drank in large gulps with the water running down her chin and onto her shirt. Deda asked if she wanted some bread; he’d brought bread. She took a grateful bite. Did she want some tea? He’d brought a Thermos of hot tea. Did she want some canned ham? He took out a small can and a can opener. “
Canned
ham?” Her entire family groaned with distaste, even Tatiana, who shook her head. The very
idea
of canned ham! Deda put the canned ham away. She didn’t want anything. She had everything.
The lake was two kilometers due north. Deda had a good compass and they had cleared a trail on which Uncle Boris carried Tatiana. As they walked, Uncle Boris told the girls what had happened.
The morning after they didn’t return, he telegraphed Luga and Leningrad to notify the Metanovs. The family had been looking for the girls for days now, in two boats, rowing across the lake early in the morning and staying till night. They had found Tatiana’s twigs, they had found Tatiana’s etchings in the trees. But they simply could not find the girls. It was the fire that finally did it.
Deda said, “As soon as we woke up this morning and it was sunny, I told everyone we would find you, because I knew with the sun being out, you would make a fire.” The girls were found almost thirteen kilometers southwest from their boat.
Finally someone remembered to ask about Saika. Marina said nothing, just shook her head. Tatiana said, “She and Marina became separated from me.” She paused. “We got very lost. Right, Marina?”
“Yes, Tania.” She lowered her gaze.
Deda said, “If Saika is still in the woods, we should go look for her.”
“No!” Marina cried. “She went into a cave at night and got rabies.”
“She went into a cave at
night
?” Deda repeated; even he sounded shocked. “Who in their right mind goes into a cave at night?”
Tatiana spoke slowly, while carried by Uncle Boris. “It was warmer for her, she felt at home there, she didn’t like being out in the open. She went in, scaring the bats, who flew away. She didn’t hear any flapping and thought it was safe. She forgot, or maybe she never knew, maybe she didn’t read quite enough, that the rabies virus, in small confined, heavily infested areas also travels by saliva particles in the air. It obviously found her.”
“What a nightmare,” Deda said. “What are her parents going to think? Well, none of our business. As I always say: know your business and stick to it. What is
your
father going to think? That’s our business. He’s coming back next week.” He tutted. “We have to get you both back to Leningrad. Tania, you need to go to the hospital immediately.”
“I’m fine, Deda.” She smiled. I’m fine now.
“You didn’t go into a cave, did you, Tania?”
“I didn’t go into a cave, darling Deda.”
He kissed her head while Uncle Boris carried her. “I know your papa will bring you something nice back from Poland when he returns,” he whispered. “It’ll make you feel better, Tanechka.”
“I feel all right already.”
They got the girls into the boat, and Pasha got behind the oars, and said, with unsuppressed glee, “
I
am rowing across Lake Ilmen. Hee-hee, Tanechka. So really,
I
win.”
Alexander laughed. Reaching up, he stroked Tatiana’s face, then pulled her down to him and kissed her. “You say it like a joke, little Tanechka, but I know it’s what rankles you most about the whole sorry episode.”
Lightly Tatiana smiled. “Only because he was so annoying. I said to him, that’s the only way you ever beat me, Pasha, when my arm is literally broken.”
“Of course you did. And the Kantorovs?”
“When they found out Saika got rabies, they left without a word to anyone, without saying good-bye. They simply packed up and were gone. When I came back to Luga a few weeks later, they had already gone. Perhaps they looked for her. I don’t know.”