The Suicide Project (Rebirth Book 1) (3 page)

“Seriously?!” I demanded in disbelief. “We’re all drenched in our own stinky sweat and you’re seriously trying to hug us?” I glared at the Sergeant as he stood in front of me like a statue with his arms still outstretched, and an amused smile frozen on his lips. Holding up my fingers in front of me to make the sign of the cross, I took two steps back further away from his reach. Ignoring the chuckles that burst forth from both of my cohorts at my actions, I warily regarded the sergeant with mistrust. “I’ll thank you to stay out of my personal bubble until I’m clean and presentable.”

“I got a hug,” Sam pointed out. “It’s only fair that you and Gideon get one from him too,” he reasoned with a sly smile.

I was genuinely appalled at the thought of anyone trying to hug me in my current state. Everyone
knew
it grossed me out to be touched post-workout. How could anyone in their right mind want to embrace someone who was soggy with sweat and smelled anything less than fresh?
Seriously….YUCK!
Suddenly, I was overcome with the sneaking suspicion that Sergeant Ramsey watched us on camera more frequently than I thought, because it was something that both Gideon and Sam tormented me often about in the Common Room. We had actually turned it into a game of sorts that we occasionally played where one or the other would pretend to try and hug me after a workout, and I would lash out in a few defensive maneuvers to block their “attack hugs”.

Try as they might, neither one of them had been able to get close enough to grab me in a hug. Mainly because the few times one of them had gotten even remotely close, I had lashed out pretty hard, and with a few quick and painful jabs, I sent out the message that I meant business.
Stay out of my bubble!
Gideon was the more aggressive of the two though, and I knew he enjoyed the challenge. However, unlike me, he was confronted with a dilemma because on one hand, I was a woman and he didn’t believe in raising a hand to a woman. He was hesitant to go all-out against me for fear of hurting me unintentionally.

On the other hand, he probably thought it was embarrassing to have his ass handed to him on a platter by a girl if he ever did decide to come at me full force and lost. After all, Gideon knew I had over twelve years of martial arts experience under my belt, whereas he had zero experience. All Gideon had was his height advantage and his newly sculpted muscular body. He had gotten pretty buff, so I knew he could overpower me on strength alone if he knew the right moves to restrain me. Regardless, I always encouraged him not to hold back and to think of me as a soldier and not a woman. In the end, he held back out of respect for me saying he didn’t want to accidently hurt me because I was his
friend
, not because I was a
woman
.

Reminiscing on his arrival half a year ago, I recalled Gideon being a tall, bean-poled sliver of a guy. He had worn glasses and looked as though he had never spent any time in the sun, opting instead to hole up indoors in front of his computer. He had stood with his shoulders slightly hunched as if to draw less attention to himself, and he always had his eyes averted, never looking anyone straight in the eye. He had blonde, shoulder length hair that was parted down the middle and it hung forward partially concealing his face. Scrutinizing him now, I decided that his transformation was every bit as impressive as Sam’s. There was no evidence of his gawky former self at all, and he looked like a completely different person. He had gained weight and filled out. Gideon was now a broad-shouldered Adonis with healthy bronzed skin and a good-natured disposition. He stood tall and straight and now looked you directly in the eye when he spoke to you. His smile came easy these days and it was clear to everyone that he was now very comfortable in his own skin.

Gideon no longer required the need for glasses, so the beauty of his sapphire eyes was easier to appreciate without the hindrance of metal frames. Staring into his eyes now, I was abruptly brought back to the present as I noticed they currently twinkled at me with mirth, as he regarded me with affection. Suddenly, the sergeant threw his head back and bellowed with laughter, clearly enjoying the disgusted expression that I forgot was still plastered on my face. The fact that I was genuinely offended over the mere idea of being touched post-work out, didn’t seem to faze him at all. “Everyone’s right…you do have the best facial expressions,” Sergeant Ramsey chuckled as he gazed at me with some inscrutable countenance. “After observing you carefully these past few months, I now understand why you’re everyone’s favorite.”

What the hell?
The sergeant’s cryptic words alarmed me, causing my feelings of uneasiness to escalate. He basically confirmed my suspicion that multiple eyes had been observing us, but it only created more questions that my inquisitive mind demanded answers to. Anticipating my train of thought, he called for us to stand to attention, promising to answer all of our questions later that evening.
Damn! So unfair to just leave us hanging like that!
After saluting the sergeant as we were taught, we watched him pivot on his heel and stride off the track in the direction of his jeep parked nearby.

None of us knew exactly where Sergeant Ramsey went off to, or what he did after our daily drills. We only saw him during training and that was it. The rest of the time we were left to our own devices, although we were never truly “alone”.

All I knew about our location, is that supposedly we were at a secret military base somewhere in the Nevada desert.
I guess that explained why it was so damn hot all the time.
It was all very hush-hush when I questioned the sergeant about it. The building where we were being housed was surrounded by a high barb-wired electric fence. We were free to roam anywhere we wanted within the confines of the building, so we had access to the small Mess Hall where we ate all of our meals, the large gym where we did indoor activities, both the indoor and outdoor pools, and the Common Room. Unlike a true barracks, each of us had our own bedroom with attached bathrooms. All of our bedrooms exited into the Common Room area which was like one big living room complete with couches, a ping pong table, a computer for our use, and a large flat screen TV. We even had a kitchenette area with a breakfast bar and stools. In the kitchenette was a fridge that was fully stocked with a huge assortment of beverages so we didn’t have to leave the comfort of the Common Room if we got thirsty in the middle of the night. It was super convenient.

However, each room within the building contained multiple surveillance cameras. The only rooms that didn’t contain cameras were our bedrooms and bathrooms. It was a curious thing having it now confirmed to us that multiple people
were
watching our daily activities. But not knowing exactly
how many
people watched us on the other end of the cameras was extremely nerve wracking. The sergeant made it sound like a lot, when in my mind, I had pictured only one or two people sitting in a tiny room somewhere as they monitored us on occasion. Honestly, I’ve had a long time to grow used to the presence of the cameras, so after a while I resigned myself to the fact that we were inevitably stuck with them. The sergeant never talked about them, so none of us bothered to ask what they were there for.

I tried to ignore them at first, but it was impossible when we realized they were always aimed at us. The gentle whirring noise of the cameras as they slowly panned in our direction, was evidence that we were kept in their line of sight at all times. Jokingly, I started waving at the cameras one day as I was passing by, and laughingly, the other two followed suit. At the time, I didn’t think far enough ahead to contemplate the repercussions of our actions. It was just a little harmless fun in my book. Inwardly, I cringed when I recalled all the times I winked at the cameras, or struck a teasing “model” pose as I sashayed past, or made countless funny faces at random moments just for the hell of it.

Groaning, I remembered flashing exaggerated thumbs up signs at the cameras in the gym
every time
I scored a basket with the basketball, and all the times I performed my dorky little victory dance when I won a round of ping pong in the Common Room. Speaking of dancing, a little whimper of mortification escaped my lips as I remembered teaching the guys how to dance in the gym per their request. Neither one of them had much experience with dancing before coming here and I absolutely
loved
to dance. Naturally, I took on the role of their teacher since I used to be on the dance/drill team in high school. Also, since I was over the age of twenty one, I already had experience with the whole clubbing scene. When it came to dancing, Gideon and Sam were both true amateurs. Thusly, three times a week, the gym became our own private dance club.

Sam caught on fast, but Gideon had no rhythm whatsoever and it took a good month before Sam and I were able to deem him nightclub worthy. Gideon really started taking an interest in dancing after that, and insisted on learning many different styles of dance. One week we did swing music from the 50’s and 60’s, and another week we did hip hop. The week after that we did techno/club, followed by slow dancing the following week. (Gideon claimed it was something he
needed
to know in case he ever got the chance to impress the ladies.)

Naturally, that led to learning the Latin style of dancing which ended up being fun as well as looking sexy.
The trick is all in the hips.
I found it amazing all the stuff you could learn by watching “How To” videos on the internet search engines. Once Sam realized we had access to those search engines, he demanded we learn the choreography for music videos from his favorite boy band groups. I had to confess that even though it was kinda cheesy, it was also really fun and probably was a huge contributing factor to the three of us now being in such great physical shape. We danced a LOT.

I’m also proud to say that the three of us have successfully memorized the choreography to at least eight of Sam’s favorite music videos. I’m sure whoever had been watching our performances had gotten an eyeful.
Hopefully they have a sense of humor
. I just couldn’t help feeling apprehensive over the possibility that we might’ve had a
huge
audience observing our every move. In our defense, there really wasn’t much to do here, so we spent a lot of our free time hanging out in the gym. I should point out that I’m the type of person who never does anything by half measures, so when I decide to do something, it’s with 150% effort and enthusiasm. Mentally, I started cursing my exuberant impulsive nature because it was seriously driving me crazy wondering about who may have been watching us all of those times we spent goofing off in the gym.

I could tell by the stricken expressions on Gideon’s and Sam’s faces as they were lost in thought, that they were both thinking along the same lines as I was. “Holy Crap” Sam moaned theatrically, as he exhaled his breath on a long drawn-out sigh. Belatedly, I recalled that Sam’s ping pong victory dance included a series of pelvic thrusts that he tended to always aim right in the direction of the cameras whenever he won. Pointing my finger at him, I was helpless to stop the howl of laughter from erupting from my mouth. Staring at the open dismay painted on Sam’s face only made me laugh harder as I gave in fully to the humor of the situation.

Great peals of laughter shook my entire frame, while fat tears of merriment started rolling down my cheeks I was laughing so hard. I had to wrap my arms around my middle, hunching over from the force of my hysterics. It felt good to let it out. After a brief pause, Sam and Gideon finally both joined in knowing it was pointless to get upset over something that couldn’t be changed. The damage had already been done. In any case, the topic of the cameras was only one of the many great mysteries of this place that I hoped would soon be revealed tonight when we met with the sergeant.

Still chuckling, I turned on my heel and headed in the direction of the gym, knowing that both Gideon and Sam would follow along like a couple of lost puppies. I had started making it a habit of practicing yoga in the gym every day at the end of our workouts to help me clear my mind and relax my body. In the beginning, the guys were curious about my post-workout habit and wanted to see where it was that I kept disappearing off to, rather than heading straight for their rooms to shower. Trailing along behind me one day as I headed for the gym, they suddenly became permanent fixtures from that day forth. I found it humorous that they were just content to observe me from the sidelines, even though I always encouraged them to participate. More than likely, they probably considered yoga to be a “girly activity” judging from the dubious expressions on their faces the first time I invited them to join me. They actually didn’t believe me that guys did yoga all the time, until I showed them video’s online to prove my statement.

I never minded their presence in the gym because the camaraderie between the three of us was strong, and I truly enjoyed their company. It also helped that they were both respectfully quiet and never engaged in conversation. The deep-breathing meditation I did helped to keep me centered, while the yoga poses aided in loosening tight muscles after an especially intense workout.

Finally, after two straight weeks of watching me do yoga, Sam mustered up the courage to abandon his wall flower status. Joining me on the oversized wrestling mat, he proved to Gideon that indeed
anyone
could do it. Both Gideon and I can attest to the fact that Sam is not the most coordinated of people, so for him to adapt as quickly as he did while at the same time appearing to enjoy himself, well it was the only encouragement Gideon needed to join in too. Gideon soon discovered much to his surprise, that he really enjoyed yoga too. I was proud of the two of them for being open-minded about something that was obviously foreign to them.

Standing in the gym with soft music playing in the background, I led the others through the poses and focused on clearing my mind. When I felt completely relaxed, I glanced at the wall clock in the gym and was surprised to see that 45 minutes had sped by while I had been lost in my own thoughts. Breathing deep and stretching into one last pose while the guys copied me, I stood up and congratulated them on a job well done.