The Suicide Project (Rebirth Book 1) (2 page)

The desert heat was truly stifling today and my lungs felt like they were on fire. Forcing my aching muscles to obey, I pushed myself to go faster. Deliberately matching my pace to the beat of the rock music playing from the portable stereo that sat in the middle of the field, I ran with the music and tried to ignore the stitch in my left side that had been plaguing me for the last 20 minutes. I endured the pain, knowing that what didn’t kill me could only make me stronger.
No pain, no gain,
I chided myself wryly.

In my peripheral vision, I could see Sergeant Ramsey standing in the middle of the track with his arms crossed over his chest as he supervised our training. As I ran past him, I felt the telltale prickling sensation against the back of my neck that I normally associated with the feeling of being watched. Surreptitiously, I flicked my gaze in his direction, only to see that I was the sole focus of his attention. AGAIN.
Awesome
, I thought sarcastically as I shook my head. I seriously didn’t understand what the heck was up with his constant fascination with me. I felt like he was
always
watching me. It was starting to get on my freaking nerves. “Creepy bastard”, I grumbled to myself half-jokingly.

I knew he intimidated my fellow teammates with his constant bellowing, but when it came to me, it’s like I was immune or something. Most people probably didn’t respond well to being constantly yelled at, or having orders barked at them day in and day out. I, on the other hand, apparently thrived within this type of environment for some reason.
Go figure.
I suppose I liked the challenge.

I chuckled as I acknowledged that I
did
enjoy verbally sparring with Sergeant Ramsey. I took perverse pleasure in exasperating him on a daily basis. Mainly, I did it to amuse myself, but also to prove to my teammates that the sergeant wasn’t as scary as they kept thinking he was. In my opinion, he was a decent, harmless guy whom I had come to like and respect as somewhat of a father figure. I just found it disturbing to be the object of his close scrutiny ALL of the time. He didn’t pay nearly as much attention to my teammates as he did to me.
What the heck was up with that?!
His interest in me was beginning to make me feel like a bug beneath a magnifying glass that he intended to dissect and study.

Shuddering at the thought, I glanced up and noticed that his attention was
still
on me. Rolling my eyes at him with mock indignation, I huffed out, “Look….I know you think I’m sexy, but keep your filthy eyes to yourself Sergeant!”

The bark of his reluctant laughter was his only reply as he shook his head at me in amusement. Steadily closing the gap on Gideon who was in the next lane to my right, my enhanced hearing picked up his whispered mantra, “I can do this. Don’t pass out.” Chortling loudly, I replied, “You CAN do this! Hang in there Gideon, we’re almost done!” I reached up and clapped my hand on his shoulder in support as I ran past.

Lifting my head to pinpoint the third member of my trio, I noticed my other teammate Samuel was about 50 yards directly in front of me in my lane and I was gaining on him fast. Even from this distance, I could hear his panting gasps and knew that he was reaching the very end of his endurance. There was only one rule from Sergeant Ramsey when we trained with him, and that rule was “Don’t stop, keep moving,” therefore it wasn’t any surprise to discover that even though Sam was still moving, he had considerably slowed his pace. I had to stifle my laughter as I noticed that he was currently jogging at the pace of a 90 year old grandpa.

We learned early on in our training that if we broke Sergeant Ramsey’s rule, he tended to tack on extra time into our overall workout. As it was, we already spent a good 5+ hours of our day dedicated to exercise drills with the sole purpose of making us stronger. Our daily fitness regime typically consisted of an hour of weight training, followed by kick-boxing, other assorted cardio activities, and lastly running. Normally we ran the track for approximately an hour at the end of each day, but today felt like an excruciatingly
long
hour to me. I was starting to worry about my teammates, Sam in particular, who I knew hated running with a vengeance.

Bridging the gap with him, I could detect the anguish in his gasping sobs. Mercifully, Sergeant Ramsey chose that very moment to blow his whistle signaling the end of our training session. Our
last
training session! A feeling of euphoria from the runners high blossomed in my chest as I slowed down to a jog and threw my arm affectionately around Sam’s waist. It amused me to no end that he still cried when he ran. Sometimes I felt like he wasn’t even aware he was doing it, but I’d glance at his face while jogging past, and see tears leaking from the corners of his eyes. Shaking my head ruefully, I assumed he thought it was just sweat dripping from his forehead into his eyes.

Suddenly, Gideon appeared on Sam’s other side, and I flashed a broad grin at him. He beamed back, hunching over to plant his hands on his knees as he tried desperately to catch his breath. Once Gideon straightened to his full height of 6’3, we high-fived each other in triumph while I continued to gingerly pat Sam’s back with my other hand in consolation. All three of us were soaked, and I was weird about prolonged touching when we were saturated in our own sweat.

Unlike Gideon and me, Sam absolutely despised exercise, so naturally these past six months were downright hellish for him. Looking at the tears that dribbled from his eyes, I could tell they were mainly tears of joy and relief this time now that boot camp for us was finally over. Typically, in the real world, standard military boot camp lasted roughly 12 weeks, however since we were now part of a secret government program, nothing about our training was considered “normal”. Catching Sam’s eye, I winked at him and was instantly rewarded with a tremulous smile.

The sudden silence of the radio seemed to magnify the sound of heavy combat boots thudding on asphalt as Sergeant Ramsey approached. Smiling in gratitude as he passed over three large bottles of water, I quickly uncapped my bottle and took large greedy gulps of the cold liquid. Instantly, I felt refreshed and rejuvenated. Watching the sergeant curiously as he paused in front of Sam, I felt my mouth gape open in shock as I witnessed him lift Sam up in a big bear hug, sweat and all.
Gross!
I almost choked on my water, I was that stunned by the sight. Up to this point in our training, I had only ever seen two expressions on his face whenever he addressed Sam; anger or cold indifference. Hell, I wasn’t even sure up until now whether he liked Sam or not, which was a testament to the guy’s poker-face-of-steel.

At 16 years old, Samuel was the youngest of the trio and had a decidedly fragile disposition about him. He was newly out of the closet following the announcement of his homosexuality, when Gideon and I first met him six months prior. He and I started out the same height at 5’6, but whereas I was already a healthy weight, Sam had been about seventy pounds overweight and seriously lacked any self-confidence at all. He had a full shaggy head of reddish-brown hair, and was decorated from head to toe with freckles. His best feature by far though, were his eyes. They were a startling deep green and reminded me of freshly cut blades of grass on a cool spring day. Upon arrival he had been fearful, withdrawn, and depressed. It had taken over a month of encouragement on my part to coax him out of his shell. Gradually as his walls came down, his vivacious, flamboyantly engaging nature began to shine through, and you couldn’t help but love being in his company. Ever since then, I had a soft spot for him and definitely felt overprotective of him. I hated to see him upset.

Gazing at Sam now with pride, I acknowledged that he had really come a long way since his arrival. As his endurance to exercise steadily increased, his waistline began to shrink, and his crying spells began to dwindle in frequency. He had grown taller, became leaner, and now possessed some serious muscle definition, especially in his upper arms. Even his voice had deepened!
God bless puberty!
Gone was the soft, doughy cherub I had first met half a year ago. Before me now stood a confident young man with a renewed sense of purpose and much promise. The transformation in him was truly staggering, but then again, I always loved a good makeover. Even though Sam no longer cried as frequently as he once did in the beginning, I figured his tears were the reason why the sergeant never warmed up to him and tended to push him harder than he did Gideon and me. I glanced at Gideon and noticed with amusement that he too was still gaping at Sergeant Ramsey in amazement. Noticing the huge sweat stain that now decorated the front of the sergeant’s shirt from hugging Sam, I wrinkled my nose in distaste and pointed my finger at him while exclaiming, “Ewwwwwww! Yuck!”

Laughing out loud, the sergeant finally spoke. “I know it may not have seemed like it to ya guys, but y’all were an absolute pleasure to work with. Every time I gave orders, y’all obeyed me with no questions asked. You ain’t never put up a fight, never argued with me over the practice drills, and not once did you guys miss a day of training. Y’all are so agreeable to all of my demands, it’s almost like yer enjoyin’ yerselves! You have no idea what a refreshin’ change of pace these past six months have been fer me. Granted, you may not have liked certain aspects of the training, but the three of you did it anyways.”

I smiled as I soaked in his praise. I always enjoyed listening to the sergeant talk because he had a rich southern drawl that rolled over you like slow molasses. Because he was a grizzled older man in his late fifties, his voice had a deep scratchy edge to it that I found highly appealing. It made me think of caramel flavored coffee, or intensely dark chocolate, the way his voice always sent delicious shivers up my spine. I figured he may have been a smoker at some point in his life which was what attributed to his husky timbre. After numerous conversations in the Common Room, Sam and I agreed that we were both in love with Sergeant Ramsey’s sexy cowboy voice. Grinning conspiratorially at Sam while biting my lip, I saw Gideon shaking his head and rolling his eyes at us in my peripheral vision.

“You guys have made me so darned proud of you! You have exceeded my highest expectations. Y’all have earned my utmost respect. Hell, I even added an extra hour to your track time knowin’ that Sam would likely drop dead from the exertion, but not one of y’all complained!” He beamed broadly at us with satisfaction as he crossed his arms over his chest, his bulging biceps flexing. “I have waited a
long
damned time for a group of soldiers like you to come along. Y’all are most definitely ready to join the others.”

An extra hour!!
Sneaky bastard!
I
knew
something was different! No wonder if felt like we were running forever, I groaned to myself internally while shooting Sergeant Ramsey the stink-eye. However, at the mention of the others, I instantly perked up and a spine-tingling shiver of anticipation started to course through me. I felt my lips curving upward in excitement.
The Others!
All this hard work of training and exercising for the last six months, was in preparation of meeting the other members of the program. Six long months of blood, sweat, and Sam’s tears; of endless physical exams and endurance tests…it all boiled down to this moment when Sergeant Ramsey would evaluate us and decide whether or not we were qualified to move forward and join the prestigious rank of The Others. I caught Gideon’s eye and nodded at him in jubilation as the full meaning of Sergeant Ramsey’s words sank in. This short chapter of our lives was over, and by the time we woke up tomorrow everything would be new and exciting.

“I thought you didn’t like me, Sir.” Sam sniffled, baffled and slightly uncomfortable with the show of affection he had received from the sergeant. Clearly, Sam was still stuck in the present and his train of thought didn’t mirror that of me and Gideon’s. We had fast-forwarded to the allure of our new futures but Sam still couldn’t get past the hug.

“I don’t
dislike
you soldier. I admit that I had my doubts bout’ you in the beginnin’, but you’ve come a long way from when you first got here. You wouldn’t have developed into the disciplined, hard-workin’ individual ya are now if any of us had babied you along the way. Bottom line is that everyone who participates in this here training program needs to prove themselves to be physically competent before we can permit them to advance. I
wanted
you to succeed. Can’t say I got no qualms about pushin’ you harder than the other two. Look at ya now! You’d get the “Most Improved” award if such a thing existed here.”

“You really think I’m ready to graduate from boot camp and move forward in the program?” Sam responded doubtfully.

Smiling encouragingly, he replied, “Well, you are
now
. Actually, we all felt that Teagan and Gideon were ready a couple of months back but you still had a little ways to go so we decided y’all could benefit from the full six month course. You three function extremely well as a true team and I knew that if I held you back and not the other two, they would both demand to voluntarily stay behind and train the additional two months with you.” Raising an eyebrow, he turned to address me and Gideon. “Am I right?” he inquired. Without hesitating, Gideon and I both simultaneously nodded our heads in affirmation. Smiling with approval he continued, “Besides, we didn’t want the other soldiers to become even more jealous of you if we graduated you from boot camp early. Everyone else trained for the required six months.”

“Uhhh…even
more
jealous? What do you mean by that!?” I demanded, uncomfortable and confused with the notion that we might already have trouble brewing with the other test subjects before we even got the chance to meet them.

“I’ll explain everything later on tonight when we meet in the Common Room for a short meeting. For now, you three hit the showers and grab dinner. We’ll reconvene in three hours, at which time I’ll be briefing y’all on what to expect tomorrow when you make the move to the larger barracks.” Pausing to smile at us again with unmistakable pride shining in his eyes, he motioned us forward with his hands, signaling his intent to hug all three of us. In that instant, my whole demeanor changed. My body grew rigid as I squealed in disgust and I dodged swiftly to the left in order to evade his reach.