The Story of Me (35 page)

I shake my head. “Not really. Let’s just release a statement and see if that does the trick.” I turn and look at Bailey. “You’re very quiet, Bails. You got anything to say?”

He drains his drink. “Nope, I think you’re in a good place, with a good man and I know I can trust him to look after ya.” He smiles and nods his head at me. “I’m really happy for the pair of ya, really happy.” He smiles at me again and my heart feels like it’s being squeezed, but in a good way. I look over at my dad, who’s sitting back in his chair, just observing the conversation going on around the table. Harley comes from the playroom. It’s getting late and she’s only four and obviously tired, she holds her arms up to me.

“Cuddles, Porge?” I pull her up and she straddles my lap, resting her head on my chest. I kiss the top of it and breathe her in. She looks up at me and laughs, “I hear your heart.” She grins at me, her big brown eyes shining at me, and I suddenly wonder if I ever get to have another baby, what colour eyes will they have? My brothers all have brown eyes and so do all of their kids, except for Jimmie and Lennon’s eldest daughter, Paige, who looks more like me every time I see her. She’s the only one of my nieces and nephews with blue eyes. Cam’s eyes are brown so I assume our children will have brown eyes,
if
we were to be lucky enough to have them.

Cam pulls me into his side and whispers in my ear, “God, that suits you. Watching you with a child like this is seriously turning me on, Kitten. I badly want to introduce my super sperm to your sexy eggs and see what amazing concoction we come up with.” I shudder as I smile up at him and give a slight nod.

“One thing at a time, Tiger, let’s find a house to turn into a home. Then we’ll get our funky fluids together.” He gives me the sexiest smile.

“I love the fuck out of you, Kitten.”

I wink at him. “You fucking better, Tiger.”

He throws his head back and gives me a big Cam laugh, which makes Harley jump. I rest my palms over the back of her head and her back, and she settles again.

I look up to see my dad watching us. He winks at me and raises his glass. “Can I just say…”

My mum rolls her eyes and says quietly, “Oh, here we go.”

My dad is famous for his speeches when he’s had a drink, and he’s definitely had a drink tonight. “Can I just say, how happy I am to have all of my family around the table together.” He reaches out and takes my mum’s hand and kisses it, looking at her for a long moment. He looks back at all of us. “Last year,” he begins, then stops and swallows, and we all know in an instant that this is going to be deep. My dad rarely cries. The first time I ever saw him cry was at Sean’s funeral and I’m not even absolutely sure of that, but I do remember him crying after one of my failed suicide attempts, the sight of my big, strong, hard-as-nails dad sobbing and broken because of my actions, will stay with me forever. I swallow to try to remove the lump in my throat. I really should be an expert at this action by now. “Last year, our family was ripped apart in the most horrific of ways. We all know what happened and I won’t dwell on that. It goes without saying that Sean and Beau will always be in our hearts and in our thoughts.”  Everyone seems to take a swig of their drink in synchronisation. “What I wanna say… the point I’m trying to make is, how very fucking proud I am of you all.” He looks around the table at each of us. “My boys,” he looks down at the table, again, I know that he’s fighting back tears. He licks his lips, looks up at us and continues, “you boys, stepped up and went above and beyond what any brothers I know would do for their sister. The way you took it in turns just to be with her, despite dealing with your own grief, well, I couldn’t be more proud, and you girls, you girls are the strongest women I know. My daughter is lucky. Despite everything that she’s been through, I still consider her to be a lucky girl.” His eyes are on me now. “The way you lot pulled together as a family, held Georgia and each other together, all while keeping things as normal as possible for your own kids, all of that makes me the proudest dad ever.”

My mum is a snotty mess sitting next to my dad. I daren’t look at the rest of my family. “And you, Georgia, you, what can I say about you,” he shakes his head. “Let me tell you about my little girl, Cam. Georgia Rae Layton, my little princess. This girl has dealt with so much shit in her young life. Yes, she’s got to live a life that many young girls dream of. She married her rock star boyfriend and lived a fairy tale life,” he gives a small laugh, “fairy tale my arse. That girl has had the eyes of the world on her since she was about sixteen. She had some spiteful little bitch break her and Sean up, but then luckily they found their way back together again. She’s dealt with all the stories of the other women,” he shrugs, “even the stories of the other men. She lost her first baby and it nearly killed her. Then she lost her second baby and her husband, and again, it nearly killed her.” He squeezes his eyes shut as I hear Jimmie sob from the other side of Cam. So much for my dad not dwelling on what happened last year, but I know better than to interrupt one of his whiskey addled speeches.

“That girl has fought her way back. With the support of this lot, she’s clawed her way back to a place that’s bearable for her and I can’t tell you how happy, how much it warms my heart to see her sitting here, happy, healthy and telling me that she’s in love.”

He takes in a deep breath. “Now, I respect you, Cameron. I was shocked. I’ve gotta admit; I was fucking shocked when I found out there was something going on between you and my daughter, but, I’d like to think that I’m a fair man, so going on what I know of you and what you’ve done to keep my daughter safe these past couple of days and what you’ve done to ensure her safety in the future, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.” He rubs his hand over his jaw and hits Cam with a look that I’ve never seen on my dad’s face before, and I suddenly understand why Frank Layton is feared by many and has the reputation he does. “But, I’m telling you this once and once only. We didn’t get her to this stage for you to come along and undo all the good that’s been done this past year. Georgia’s health and wellbeing are my priority, but over and above all of that is her heart. This girl’s heart has been broken and shattered to a point where I never thought she’d feel again, and if you cause it pain, if you break it in any way, even just a chip or a splinter, I will hear it. If you cause the tiniest crack, a hairline fracture. No matter where I am in the world, how old and slow, I will hear it and, mark my words, I will hunt you down.” He still has Cam pinned with his stare. My hand is under the table squeezing Cam’s but his feels relaxed and cool, whereas mine is sweaty. “Are we clear, Cameron?”

“Crystal,” Cam says from beside me. “Now you’ve had your say, so if you don’t mind, I’d like to have mine,” Cam continues. Oh, fuck. I hold my breath waiting for my dad’s reaction, but Cam doesn’t; he just keeps on talking. “I know exactly what Georgia has been through. I know exactly what she’s still going through and will probably continue to go through for the rest of her life. I’m not stupid enough to think that love can conquer all. It doesn’t. I know that for a fact, but it’s a start. I know that I love Georgia and I’m pretty sure she feels the same way about me so we’ll use that as a base. We’ll start with that and build from there. Loving Georgia isn’t something new to me, Frank. I fell in love with her twelve years ago, and I stupidly let her go without a fight back then. I don’t intend letting that happen again.” I turn and look at him because I can feel his eyes on me. “I’d never been in love, Frank. Until I met Georgia, I’d never been in love. I know that sounds terrible coming from a bloke who was once married, but you know the coup with Chantelle. It was a marriage of convenience. I loved her like a friend, but I wasn’t
in
love with her. I’ve never been in love with anyone before Georgia, so I’ll be totally honest with you now and tell ya, I’ll hold my hands up to all of ya here and now and tell ya. I will fuck up. I will get it wrong, but I will never, all the time my heart is beating, not love your daughter.” He kisses the top of my head and then leans back in his chair.

“Well, I can’t ask for much more than that, Cam, and as long as that is always the case, me and you’ll not have a problem and should  get along just fine.”

“Thank fuck for that,” Ashley whispers as quietly as Ashley can whisper, which is the average person’s normal speaking voice.

Jimmie stands from the table. “Right, now that I’m a complete emotional wreck, I’m going to get my children home.”

Cam leans out the window of his car and speaks into the intercom built into the wall by the entrance to the property we are about to view. He gives his name and the ornate wrought-iron gates swing open.

We sit silently and stare at the long sweeping drive in front of us. The house can’t be seen from the road and the twenty-two acres the property sits on are surrounded by a twelve-foot high brick wall.

This is the fourth house we’ve looked at in two days and nothing we’ve seen yet has grabbed us.

“Well, at least this one looks pretty secure and isn’t sitting beside a motorway.” He reaches out, takes my hand and kisses up the inside of my wrist, causing me to shudder. I turn and look at him. He’s sitting behind the wheel of his sleek black sports car, wearing jeans, a white T-shirt and a black leather jacket. He hasn’t shaved all week and his hair is probably in need of a cut. It’s pushed back off his face and I love it, more to grab. He’s grinning his sexy-arsed grin because he knows full well my body has just reacted to his actions.

“Have I made you wet, Kitten?” he asks. I bite down on the insides of my cheeks as I suck them in, trying not to smile at him.

“You know full well you have.”

He licks his lips as he continues smiling. “Tell me.”

I raise my eyebrows slightly. “Why don’t you just have a feel for yourself?”

His smile vanishes. “Fuck, Kitten, you’ve made me hard.” He attempts to adjust himself behind the steering wheel, without much success.

“You started it, Tiger.”

“Yeah and when I get you home, I intend finishing it.”

He puts the car into gear and churns up the gravel on the drive as we roar off, while I sit back and smile.

We’ve spent the last few days locked away in Cam’s apartment. We’ve kept our phones on silent and hidden ourselves away from the world. A statement was released to the press a couple of days ago confirming our relationship and asking for privacy, and surprisingly, the paps have left us alone. Cam told Marian not to come back into work until Monday, so we basically spent every day in bed, only getting up to eat and shower or bath. We’d talked and talked and I feel we are in a good place. I explained about Jimmie and Ashley’s offers to carry a baby for us and Cam wants to move on with those plans straight away, but I’ve managed to convince him to wait until we’ve found a house and to get Christmas out of the way.

We pull up in front of a Lutyens inspired English country manor. It’s stunning and I get a little flutter in my belly as I look out of the car window.

“First thoughts?” Cam asks from beside me. He still has a hold of my hand and kisses the back of it this time. I turn to look at him.

“Loving what I see so far. The location’s perfect and I like how secure it is.” He chews on the inside of his lip.

“I think the inside needed some updating with this one, but that’s not a problem.”

I shake my head, but I’m actually agreeing with him. My head’s spinning slightly. We might actually be about to buy a house together. This shit just got real and I’m suddenly feeling all over the place; hot, cold, happy, and tearful.

The large, arched, oak front door opens and my mouth drops open as Vera White steps out to greet us. Well this couldn’t be anymore awkward. What the fuck is she going to think of me being with Cam so soon?

Cam’s hand is at my jaw as he turns my face to his.

“Stop. I know what you’re thinking and stop. This is no fucker’s business but ours, you got that?” I nod as best I can while he’s holding onto my jaw. “Good girl.” He leans in and kisses me full on the mouth.

“Let’s go and buy a house, Tiger.”

* * *

I’m out of the car before Cam can get around to my side and open the door for me. He’s old fashioned like that. Always holds doors open, pulls my chair out for me and likes to open the car door for me to get in and out, and as much as I like to think that I’m all for being a modern, independent woman, I actually love it when he does all of those things for me. Cam makes me feel safe, loved unconditionally and protected, and what he’s done these last few days is, for the first time in a very long time, he’s made me feel normal. I sort of felt normal in Australia, but I knew, deep down, it was all a lie, pretence. I had run away and was pretending to be someone I wasn’t. This week, I’ve been home, around people who know and love me and I have just been me. I’ll never be the woman I was before Sean’s death, before the accident, but with Cam’s love and encouragement, I am hopeful of becoming a pretty good version of my former self.

I reach the front of the car at the same moment as Cam.

“Why didn’t you wait?” he asks. I smile up at him as I wrap my arms around his neck.

“I’m sorry, Tiger. I didn’t do it to piss you off. I was just lost in my own little bubble there for a while and got out on autopilot. I’ll get back in and we can start again if it’ll make you happy?” He bends his knees slightly so he can look me in the eye.

“Now you’re just taking the piss out of me, Kitten.”

I smile and kiss him gently on the mouth. “No, I’m not, Tiger. I’m just trying to make you happy.”

He looks all over my face for a few seconds, gives his little head shake and says, “Let’s go look at this house.”

He takes my hand and we walk the few steps to the front door where Vera is waiting. She puts her hand out to shake Cam’s.

“Cameron, so good to see you. Hope you’re well?”

Cam shakes her hand and says, “Vera, good to see you. I’m well, very well, thanks.” I lift my sunglasses from my face, push them up into my hair and put my hand out to Vera, I hear her breath catch slightly and watch her eyes widen as she recognises me.

“Georgia, oh, my darling girl. How on earth are you?” Her eyes fill with tears and her hand moves to cover her mouth.

“I’m doing okay, Vera, you know? One day at a time.” I put my hand out to
her, but she pulls me in for a cuddle.

“I’m so sorry. This is so unprofessional of me.”

“It’s okay,” I reply, feeling a little choked up myself. Vera had sent me a beautiful card with some heartfelt, handwritten words inside after Sean’s death. I had only read it a few months back and felt that too much time had passed for me to send a reply. “Thank you so much for your card. Your message meant a lot.” She stepped back and looked me up and down.

“Well, I meant every one of them.” She wipes tears from under each of her eyes and takes a step back. Cam pulls me into his side as she does. I don’t think it’s a possessive move because he knows we’re discussing my husband’s death. It’s more of a reassurance. He’s just letting me know that he’s there.

“Ya know, there’s not many of my clients that I actually like on a personal level,” Vera says, “but you two, and Sean, are three of the nicest people I’ve ever dealt with professionally and I, I’m so glad, after everything the two of you have been through…” She fans her face as her eyes start to fill up again. “Jesus, it takes a lot to make this ol’ bird cry, let me tell ya.” She lets out a long breath. “Anyway, look, I’m not trying to be nosy or anything, but if you two are together and are planning on making a go of things, then I wish you all the love and every success.” I look up at Cam and smile.

“We’re together. Cam’s helping to rebuild my heart, to rebuild me.” I shrug.

Vera shakes her head. “Jesus, Georgia, you’re gonna have me in bloody tears again.” She pauses and looks at us both again. “Well, if anyone can rebuild that heart of yours, I’ve every faith that Cameron here is the man for the job. Now, let’s show you this house, which, I’ve got to say, I think you’re gonna love.”

And we do. The house has a beautiful hallway with a galleried landing, a feature I have always loved about my parents’ home and as soon as we step inside and I see the same feature in this property, my heart begins to race. The house consists of seven bedrooms, all with full en suites, along with a further two bathrooms. It has all of the usual living, dining and kitchen areas, plus there’s also a games room, cinema and a library. Outside there’s a large pool and a built in Jacuzzi. There’s a pool house with a kitchen and bbq area, as well as a toilet and shower. In the grounds are stables for six horses, a fully stocked lake and a tennis court.

Buying the home would probably mean taking on a groundsman, and if I bought horses, I would need help looking after the stables but neither of those things would be a problem.

Cam and I stand outside looking out at the views of the countryside. Despite being only thirty minutes from London, we can’t even see the roof of the next house.

“What d’ya think, Kitten? Are you liking this one?”

I turn my head and look up at him, giving a little shiver. It’s early December and bloody freezing. He wraps his big arms around me from behind and kisses the top of my head.

“I know every room needs updating, but I really like it. The layout’s good and the location is great in relation to where all of your family live and my office, and besides, I’ve been thinking. I wanna get things set up so I don’t have to go into the office every day. I want to be at home, or wherever you are.” He turns me around to face him and I lace my fingers together around his neck. “I’m forty-two, George. I’ve worked hard all my life. I just wanna step back for a bit and spend time with you.” I smile while looking up at him, he looks worried. “Since I lost you last time, I’ve done nothing but work. I’ve worked hard to make all aspects of my businesses legit, and I’m at a stage now, where I feel comfortable taking a back seat. So what d’ya reckon, you, me, this place? What are ya thoughts?” I take a deep breath.

“It feels like home.”

He nods and smiles. “It does, doesn’t it. I thought it as soon as the gates opened at the front of the drive, but I didn’t wanna put you under any pressure, just in case you didn’t like it.”

I shake my head. “No, I love it. This is the one, Tiger. Let’s turn this house into a home.”

* * *

As we walk into Cam’s apartment a few hours later, his mobile rings and he frowns as he looks at the screen.

“Tamara. I better take this. I’m sorry,” he says as he walks into his office. It’s three in the afternoon, so definitely a reasonable time for a wine, which is a good thing as that woman drives me to drink.

Cam had explained to me that when he had gone to the hospital with her earlier in the week, she’d admitted to snorting cocaine and smoking heroin. The hospital had no way of forcing her to stay unless she was admitted to the psychiatric ward, which is what Cam had managed to do before with the help of Tamara’s father. And once again, it was his help Cam had had to enlist. He was Tamara’s next of kin, and because of her past problems, he agreed to have her sectioned again.  Sadly, his decision had nothing to do with his concern for the health and wellbeing of his only child and unborn grandchild and everything to do with the twenty-two thousand pounds worth of gambling debts he had and Cam’s offer to clear them for him.

In total, Cam had admitted to spending almost half a million pounds on Tamara, her treatment for addiction, her pregnancy, accommodation, living expenses, nurse, minder and her father’s debts. I didn’t question his motives. It wasn’t my place to, but it didn’t stop my heart aching for him. I know he feels torn about the baby. He would love to be a father, but he would rather the mother was anyone but Tamara. If the baby does turn out to be his, then we will just have to make the best of a horrible situation. In saying all of that, I can’t help but be terrified that if the baby is Cam’s, that I might just lose him to Tamara and their child.

I send a text to Jimmie. We are going over to her and Len’s place for dinner tonight, along with my other two brothers and their wives, and I need to know what to bring. She said to not bring anything, but I hate turning up empty handed; besides, Cam and I stopped off on the way home and bought a selection of wines and a couple of bottles of champagne. It might be a little premature, but we’ve decided to celebrate the fact that we put an offer in on the house we looked at with Vera and hope that it’ll be accepted.

Is there anything you need us to bring 2nite?

I hit send, just as Cam walks into the room. He takes the wine glass from my hand and drinks down its contents, goes to the fridge, gets the bottle out, tops up my glass and gets himself a beer as he puts the bottle back. All without saying a word.

My phone chimes as Jimmie replies.

Reading that word ‘us’ has just made me cry.

I’m so glad ur part of an us again G.

U really have no idea

Luv ya guts

X

I smile as I read her message, then look up at Cam, leaning against the island bench top as I lean against the sink. He looks thoroughly pissed off and I hate that
she’s
done this to him. We’ve had such a good day and came through the front door on such a high and then
she
calls.

“What’s she want?”

“Attention, that’s all she ever wants.”

My phone goes off again, “Sorry, I was just asking Jimmie if there’s anything she needed us to bring.” He nods, but I know he’s not paying attention.