The Space Between Us (3 page)

  
Regret and shame washed over me. It hadn't occurred to me that he might have needed someone to be there for him. I was too wrapped up in my own unhappiness to even consider that perhaps, the boy who lost his friend as well, might have needed me to be his friend.

  
“No, I'm sorry, Asher. I'm not good at meeting new people and making friends. I've never had to. I lived in my old house since the day I was born. My friends back home have been my friends since I was born. I've never had to make new ones. I'd really like it if we could walk to school together.” I looked over at him, hoping the sad look was gone from his face. I was rewarded with a dimpled smile.

  
“Great. I hate walking alone.”

  
Asher and I walked to school nearly every day until, finally, we were old enough to drive.

Chapter Two

  
It was the Saturday before the first day of high school, and even though I had spent a wonderful summer with Reeve, I was anxious for the summer to end because that meant that Asher was coming home. A month before school let out, we walked to school and he dropped the biggest bomb my 13-year-old self had ever experienced – well, besides my mom's cancer.

  
“So,” Asher said as we slowly made our way towards the middle school. “I have something to tell you.”

  
“Ok,” I said, drawing the word out to emphasize my apprehension. “You're being very cryptic right now.”

  
“My grandfather called my parents last night and told them that he needed help on his farm back in Oklahoma. He asked my parents if I could come and help him for the summer.”

  
I stopped in my tracks and turned to face him.

  
“You're going to Oklahoma?” He winced a little and nodded his head. “For the
whole
summer?” He nodded again. “You're kidding. Asher, this isn't funny at all.”

  
“I'm serious. I guess one of his farmhands quit and my parents think it will build character or something if I go and do farm stuff all summer.”

  
“But we had plans this summer! You were supposed to teach me how to skateboard! We were going to ambush Reeve with water balloons every day! We were going to fish in the creek under the bridge in the park. Asher, this ruins everything.”

  
“I'm sorry, Charlie. There isn't anything I can do about it. My parents bought a plane ticket last night. I leave the Monday after school gets out.”

  
“We've got to cram a whole summer's worth of plans into one weekend?”

  
He laughed. “I suppose.”

  
“So not funny, Asher. I love Reeve, but I can't imagine spending all summer with her. Her idea of summer vacation is laying on her front lawn in a bathing suit and flirting with boys,” I said as I kicked a rock that was in my way. The rock skittered across the pavement farther than I planned and I winced as it came dangerously close to a parked car.

  
“You're not going to do that, are you?”

  
“What?”

  
“Lay in her front yard in a bathing suit.”

  
“Oh, um, I don't know. Probably not.” Then, suddenly, it was tense. This had only happened a few times before with us. We would be talking or hanging out, and suddenly out of nowhere one of us would say something or do something that was new to our usual friendship dynamic. A few weeks ago we were sitting in his garage and we decided to walk to the store to get smoothies. He reached both of his hands out to me and helped me up. He pulled a little too hard and I rocketed into his chest. Not only was I closer to him than usual, but he didn't let my hands go for a few moments. We stood there, chest to chest, holding hands, and it felt – different. My heart sped up and my lungs hurt because I was breathing so fast. I didn't understand it, but I didn't hate it either. After a few moments he dropped my hands and stepped away.

  
“We should get going,” he said, trying to sound nonchalant, but I knew he had felt the weirdness too.

  
“Yeah, the smoothies might run out if we don't hurry.” I tried to be cool and calm as I briskly walked out of his garage towards the street. It was awkward for a few blocks but then something made us laugh, I can't remember what, but then everything was back to normal.

  
Asher asking about me in a bathing suit was weird. But weird in a good way almost. I couldn't explain why I liked it, but I did.

  
The weekend before he left was epic. I didn't master the skateboard, even though I tried, but we drenched Reeve every day until the morning he left for the airport. She was so mad at us, but we didn't care. Her recovery time was minimal and it was worth it to watch her scream as water was splashing all around her. We laughed until our bellies hurt every time. We spent one whole day under the bridge at the park trying to catch the tiny little fish that swam through the creek there. We caught tadpoles too, but we never kept any of them, always throwing them back just happy to have actually caught them at all.

  
Today was the day Asher was coming back and excitement raced through me. I missed him over the summer. We only spoke on the phone a few times while he was away. My heartbeat did its explosive beating thing again when Asher remembered to call me on my birthday. I wasn't expecting him to call at all, it never occurred to me that he would.

  
“Happy birthday, Charlie,” he said, and I couldn't help the giant smile that broke out over my face.

  
“Thank you, Asher. That is really sweet of you to remember my birthday.”

  
“Of course I remembered your birthday; you're my best friend, Charlie.” I couldn't explain why my stomach dropped when he said the word friend, but it did. I was so confused by my body's reaction to all of this. I was excited when he called, but sad when he referred to me as a friend. I
was
his friend and he was mine. There was no need for any of this silliness, so I shook it off.

  
“Are you doing really cool farm things over there in Oklahoma?”

  
“Uh, I guess. It's just really hot and I am outside most of the day. Lots of lifting heavy things and wrangling animals. But, I'm not bored, so there's that.”

  
“Sounds fun,” I said sarcastically.

  
“What have you been doing?” He asked.

  
“Not a lot,” I sighed into the phone. “Reeve is dragging me to the mall a lot. We sit in the food court while she checks out guys. We sit on her lawn in the front of her house listening to her stereo. Honestly, we don't do much. She listens to the radio and reads, and I draw. We talk. That about sums up my summer. Oh, and sometimes we go to The Range.”

  
“Are you in your bathing suit?” He asked quietly.

  
“Right now?” I asked, confused by the question.

  
“No. When you're sitting on her lawn.”

  
“Uh, not usually. She is most of the time. I don't know.” I didn't know how to answer his question. I didn't want to lie to him, but I felt like if I told him that I had been in my swim suit on her lawn it would make him angry for some reason. I didn't want to make him angry, especially not when he's so far away. I just wanted him to smile. “This summer would be much better if you were here,” I said quietly. There was a long and silent pause. I'm not sure why I said what I did, or why it felt like it was really important but it was. And for another reason unknown to me, whatever he said in response was really important too.

  
“I miss you too, Charlie,” was his answer and a smile immediately spread across my face. “I'll be back in just a few weeks.  We'll start high school and I will save you from Reeve.”

  
“Meh, she's not that bad.  She's just not you.” Another sentence that seemed to come from nowhere. “Anyway, thanks again for calling for my birthday. Have a good rest of your summer over there in Oklahoma.”

  
He didn't call me for the rest of the summer, and even though I would always want to talk to him, I was ok with it. Our last conversation was confusing enough, I didn't want to feel weird talking to him. I knew when he came back home and everything went back to normal, all the weirdness would melt away.

  
I sat by the phone, trying not to look like I was waiting for him to call. My dad walked by every once in a while and gave me a small smile.

  
“Charlie, his flight might have been delayed. Or maybe, his parents want to spend an evening with him. After all, they haven't seen him all summer either.”

  
“Dad, I'm just drawing. If he calls, he calls,” I said as I shrugged my shoulders. It was the least convincing thing I'd ever said, but my dad did a great job of nodding and walking to the other room. The phone suddenly rang and I jumped.

  
“Hello?”

  
“Hey, Charlie. Wanna go to the mall?” I rolled my eyes so hard I was sure I was going to lose one in the back of my skull.

  
“No, Reeve. I don't want to go to the mall. Go ahead without me.”

  
“What are you doing?”

  
“Nothing, just drawing.”

  
“Well then, come with me. I need someone to talk to while I guy-watch in the food court.”

  
“No thanks. I'm in the middle of this drawing and I really want to finish.”

  
“Oh fine. If you change your mind, I'll be at the food court.”

  
“Ok,” I said, knowing I wasn't going to change my mind. “Have fun.” I hung up the phone and returned to my pad of paper that had the worst drawing I had done since grade school. I was distracted and nothing was flowing from me. It was just a big jumbled mess of lines. The phone rang again and I rolled my eyes.

  
“I haven't changed my mind. I don't want to go anywhere,” I said, exasperated.

  
“Oh, that's too bad,” I heard a voice say on the other side that definitely wasn't Reeve. “I was hoping I could see you for a little while tonight.” My darned heart was doing that beat-so-fast-it-might-pop-out thing again.

  
“Asher?”

  
“Yeah, it's me. Were you expecting your other best friend to return from a summer away today?”

  
“No,” I said. His voice sounded different - deeper. Maybe it's just the phone. He'll probably sound the same in person. “I just wasn't sure if you were going to spend the evening with your parents or not. I'm sure they've missed you.”

  
“Yeah, but I can squeeze you in,” he said, making me smile. “Meet me outside?”

  
“Now?”

  
“Do you want to wait any longer?”

  
I shook my head.

  
“Charlie?”

  
“No!” I almost shouted once I realized he couldn't hear me shaking my head. He laughed.

  
“Ok, I'll meet you out there.”

  
I tried not to run to the door to put on my shoes, but I was definitely walking fast. My dad saw me dashing down the hallway.

  
“Did he call?” He shouted from his office.

  
“Yup!” I shouted back.

  
“Be home for dinner!”

  
“Ok!”

  
I reached the door and stopped at the mirror hanging in the entry way. I studied my face, making sure, for a reason new to me, that I looked ok. What did 'ok' look like? Was my hair crazy? No. Did I have anything on my face? No. I guess this was as good as it was going to get. I shook my head at myself; I never cared before what I looked like when I saw Asher.

  
I opened the door to the warm summer air. The sun was beginning to set, but still pretty high. Orange and red streaks were ribbons in the sky. I had another hour or so before dinner. I turned right at the sidewalk and absolutely could not help the enormous smile that spread across my face as I saw him walking towards me. I also couldn't help it when my feet started moving faster and faster until I was running towards him. He was running towards me as well and when we finally made it to each other, I jumped up into his arms and he swung me around. We spun for what seemed like hours. His nose was pressed into my hair and my face was snuggled into the crook of his neck. I didn't remember him ever smelling good, but he did. He smelled different.

  
When he finally put me down, we each spent a few moments unabashedly looking each other over. I saw him eyeing me, but didn't care because I was eyeing him. He was huge. He was big. He was perfect.

  
“You grew,” were the first words out of my mouth.

  
“You didn't,” he responded. He was right. I hadn’t grown one smidge over the summer – in height anyway.

  
“No, seriously. You must be at least a foot taller than you were when you left.” I went to stand next to him to gauge how much taller he'd gotten. I remembered before he left when we walked side-by-side if I looked over at him I was looking at his shoulder. Now I turned my head and I was looking at his chest. Even his chest looked bigger. “What did they feed you on that farm?” He laughed.

  
“You look different too, but you're still so small,” he said. I shrugged.

  
“It's a curse.”

  
“No, it's ok. I like you small. You're like those cartoons we use to watch back in fifth grade. What was it called?”

  
“We watched a lot of cartoons, Asher.”

  
“It was on Nickelodeon and it was about those little people who lived in the forest.” I scrunched up my eyebrows, thinking hard.