The Space Between Us (2 page)

  
The house was empty when I opened the door - empty of everything. Hardly anything was unpacked so there were no pictures hanging on the wall, no dishes in the cupboards, but even more disturbing to me was how empty the house was of any feeling. I was so used to my old house; it held all my memories. So many memories. I remembered baking cookies with my mom, rolling out sugar cookie dough on the island that sat in the middle of the kitchen. I remembered her flattening the dough with the rolling pin, blowing her brown hair out of her face, smiling at me, pretending not to see me sneaking pieces of dough into my mouth. This new kitchen meant nothing to me, held no memories. I'll never hear my mother's laugh in this kitchen or play monopoly with Lucy.

  
I turned from the empty room and went up the stairs to my bedroom which, thankfully, was at least partly put together. My dad had been sure to get to my room first. I collapsed on my bed and must have fallen asleep because the next thing I heard was the doorbell ringing. At least, I assumed it was the doorbell. My old house's doorbell rang once, a single chime. This doorbell went on forever and sounded like a grandfather clock. It rang the entire time I walked to the front door. I was so irritated by the obnoxious bells that I swung the door open with more force than necessary. I was surprised to see Asher standing on the other side.

  
“Oh, hi,” I said, caught off guard by the sight of him on the porch.

  
“Hi. My mom made these and asked me to bring them over. She wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood.”

  
I looked down at the plate he handed me and tried really hard not to let it show on my faced how upsetting it was to get a plate of homemade cookies from his mother. I took them and thanked him, manners always won out.

  
“Did you know the family that lived here before me?” I asked him, trying to get my mind off the fact that he had a mother who made cookies and how unfair it suddenly seemed.

  
“Yeah, my best friend Trace lived here. His Dad's job transferred him all the way to Minnesota so they moved. My mom said that maybe someday I could go and visit him over summer vacation.”

  
“That sucks that he moved, but it's cool that your mom would let you go see him,” I offered.

  
“Yeah,” he said but then paused. “Is your head ok? You know, from earlier?” My hand automatically moved to rub the small bump that had formed where the rock hit me.

  
“Yeah, it's no big deal. Thanks again for stopping him.”

  
“I saw you made friends with Reeve.” I shrugged.

  
“She seems nice. She talks a lot.” He laughed at my comment.

  
“That she does. But you get use to her, I guess.” He rocked back and forth on his heels a few times and I stood there, not really sure what else there was to say. “Well, I walk to school every morning so if you want, you can walk with me.”

  
“Ok, maybe I'll see you in the morning.”

  
“Ok, see ya later.” He turned and walked down the porch and I closed the door.

   The next morning I waited in the front family room, peeking out of the window, until I saw Asher pass my house. As he walked by, I saw him look over towards my door. I could tell he was contemplating waiting for me or just continuing on his way. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw him continue walking. After the way he saved me yesterday, the cookies, and the way he seemed to be too nice, I just couldn't bring myself to walk to school with him. I didn't want him feeling like he was obligated to be nice to me. I didn't want anyone feeling like they were obligated to me in any way. At that moment, I mostly just wanted to blend into the background and forget everything that had happened to me.

  
I kept my head down at school, sat with my drawing pad during lunch and recess, trying to let my pencil occupy my thoughts instead of the fact that even though I was lonely, I didn't want to befriend anyone. I walked across the field on my way home when Reeve came running up behind me.

  
“Charlie!” I turned to see her and she had a big smile on her face. “Hey, do you want to go to The Range with me today?”

  
“Uh,” I hesitated. “I didn't get a chance to ask my dad yesterday. He's expecting me home.” I said as I gestured towards the alley.

  
“Ok, well, let's walk to your house and ask your dad then.”  She started walking with a determined gait. We walked to my house together and there was not even one moment for me to get a word in. She talked the entire time, filling me in on all the kids in our class, what had happened on the latest episode of the television show she was watching, and how she had gotten a great deal on a new pair of jeans at a trendy store in the next town over. Her rate of speech was baffling and also comforting because I didn't have to say anything.

  
We went into my house and I called my dad, who agreed I could go with Reeve as long as I was home for dinner. He sounded excited and relieved that I had made a friend, and he probably would have let me leave the country with her if he thought it would have made me happy. I put my book bag on the counter and we left, walking back the way we had came. Halfway across the field Reeve caught me off guard by asking me a question.

  
“So, what does your dad do?” The silence that came when she paused for my answer was strange. I appreciated her incessant talking.

  
“He works in construction.”

  
“Like, building houses and stuff?”

  
“Yeah, mostly. Offices. Anything really.”

  
“That's cool. What does your mom do?”

  
And there it was. The moment I dreaded with every person I encountered - having to talk about my mom.

  
“Nothing. She died.” Reeve stopped walking and her mouth gaped open. I couldn't look her in the eye, so I stared at the ground, hoping she'd recover quickly and continue talking about unimportant, distracting things like she had the entire way up until now.

  
“She
died
?” I nodded my head, not saying a word. “How?”

  
“Cancer.”

  
“I can't imagine not having a mom,” Reeve said quietly as she started walking slowly.

  
“Me either.”

   The Range was actually a pretty cool place; there was nothing like it back home that I had ever seen. It was part coffee shop and cafe, part arcade, part pseudo-library where the no talking rules were lifted. There were board games, video games, books, a few computers to use the internet, couches, bean bag chairs, there was even a hammock in the corner of the reading area. There were mostly younger kids there, sixteen and under, it looked like. Obviously, once kids got their driver's license they found cooler places to hang out.

  
Reeve led me to where the counter was and we both ordered a soda. Reeve then headed towards a table where a few girls sat. I hesitated, nervous about sitting with a bunch of girls I didn't know. I missed Lucy immediately. Reeve sat down and motioned to the chair next to her. I sat down and tried to smile without looking like I was in pain.

  
“Guys, this is Charlie. She just moved here,” Reeve said excitedly. I gave a small wave to match my small smile.

  
“Hey, Charlie. Where'd you move from?” A blonde girl across the table asked.

  
“A town about five hours from here. Bridgeport.”

  
“Never heard of it. I'm Celia, by the way,” the blonde girl responded.

  
“It's a small town,” I said quietly. The girls continued to talk amongst themselves, and every once in a while Reeve would try to involve me in the conversation. I appreciated her attempt at making me feel comfortable, but I was still the new kid and it had always been hard for me to open up to new people. Especially now. The more I talked with these girls, the more they would want to know about me, and the more I would have to tell them. No thanks. I'd rather keep it all inside if I could.

  
“How long have you been growing your hair out?” Celia asked at one point. I absentmindedly reached for my hair which, if left down, hung well past my hips. It was thick, long, black, and very straight.

  
“Besides small trims, I've never cut it. My mom would never let me.” I felt my own heart speed up at the mention of my mom, hoping the girls wouldn't ask me anything else that would make me talk about her any more. Reeve caught my eye and must have noticed my unease.

  
“Isn't it pretty? Rachel, weren't you going to ask your mom if you could dye yours blonde? Summer's coming and blonde would be a really good color on you. Is anyone doing anything fun for summer vacation?” And just like that, with words spilling out of her mouth, words meant to save me a little bit of discomfort, I thought maybe I had made a true friend. All the girls took turns talking about their plans for summer and I, for the first time in weeks, had a genuine smile on my face.

  
After we were there for a little over an hour I noticed a few boys walk in, Asher being one of them. Reeve immediately looked over to the group of four boys and turned to whisper to the girls at the table.

  
“Asher saved Charlie from Ryan yesterday at recess. He was bullying her and Asher made him stop.”

  
“Shut. Up.” Celia looked at me with interest. I shrugged.

  
“He didn't
save
me. It wasn't that big of a deal.”

  
“She keeps saying that,” Reeve said with a confused look on her face. “Charlie, if Asher made Ryan leave you alone, it's a big deal. He's so cute.”

  
I laughed - a true laugh.

  
“And you keep saying
that
. What does that mean anyway? How is he cute?” I looked over at him and he looked like any other boy.

  
“I don't know. It's his eyes I think. And those cute dark freckles he has. Who has freckles like that? No one.”

  
I took a closer look at him. Ok, Reeve was right about the freckles. They were unique anyway. Not the usual light brown color of freckles, but a dark brown. And they looked bigger than normal freckles, too. Instead of a lot of small ones, he had fewer larger ones. It was distinctive.

  
“Reeve, you're boy crazy,” Celia said. Reeve just smiled. Asher walked past us and nodded at the girls at the table. Then his eyes turned to me.

  
“Hey Charlie.”

  
“Hey Asher,” I responded, desperately wanting him to walk away.

  
“I didn't see you on the way to school today. Should I wait for you tomorrow?”

  
“Yes!” Reeve practically shouted. Asher looked at her briefly, then back to me.

  
“Should I wait?” My earlier appreciation for Reeve having saved me from talking about my mom quickly dissolved and was replaced with irritation for putting me in this, almost worse, situation. How could I say no now?

  
“Uh, yeah, sorry about this morning. I was running late.” He smiled widely, a dimple appearing on his left cheek.

  
“No problem.  I'll see you in the morning.” He walked back to where his friends waited.

  
“He wants to walk to school with you?” Reeve asked, eyes almost bugging out of her head.

  
“I'm sure his mom is making him; she made him bring over cookies yesterday afternoon.”

  
“Oh my gosh. He's so cute,” Reeve repeated. Luckily the conversation moved on to something else.

   The next morning, like I knew he would, Asher waited for me at the bottom of my driveway.

  
“Hey Charlie,” he said with a smile as I approached.

  
“Hey,” I said, looking at the ground for a moment to gain some courage. “Listen, you don't have to walk to school with me. I know your mom is probably making you walk with me. It's fine.” I paused, waiting for him to respond. The seconds it took for him to speak were very heavy and filled with my rapid heartbeat.

  
“My mom isn't making me walk to school with you, Charlie. Can't I just
want
to walk to school with you?”

  
I shrugged.

  
“Hey,” he said as he crouched down to get me to look at him. “What does this mean?” He shrugged his shoulders at me in an exaggerated way. I exhaled loudly and turned to start walking towards the school.

  
“I guess I just don't understand why you would want to walk with me.”

  
“My best friend just moved away and I use to walk to school with him every day. I guess I just thought maybe you were looking for a new friend as much as I was. I'm sorry.”