‘Um, yeah,’ I mumble.
I hear him click the door closed behind me and then a second click follows as the lock turns. I spin around. He smiles at me, a little embarrassed. ‘I just thought it would be nicer not to
have the guys burst in on us.’
‘Right,’ I say.
Jeremy takes my champagne glass and puts it down carefully on a dresser and then he takes my hands and pulls me over towards the bed. He is looking at me the whole time, his blue eyes fixed on
mine, a small smile playing on his lips which reminds me of Jesse, except the way Jesse smiles makes my pulse speed up beat and my head spin. I scream inwardly and shove the memories of Jesse far
away. Now is really not the time to be thinking of another boy.
Jeremy pulls me down onto the bed. He wraps a hand behind my neck and gently tugs me towards him.
‘You’re so beautiful,’ he murmurs and then he kisses me.
After a few minutes I am suitably relaxed and when Jeremy presses on my shoulders I let him push me fully down onto the bed so I’m lying on my back. He lies next to me on his side and
starts to slowly undo the buttons of my dress, leaning over to kiss the skin he’s laying bare. The champagne has made my head a little dizzy, enough that I am not thinking completely
straight. I’m trying to go with the flow – to not tense up and, most importantly, not to think about Jesse. I open my eyes and stare at Jeremy. He has a look of thorough determination
on his face which makes me freeze. My hands cover my chest and he looks up at me in confusion.
‘What’s wrong?’ he asks.
‘Nothing,’ I say.
‘I really like you, Ren,’ he answers. ‘I thought you wanted—’
‘I do,’ I say, stuttering. ‘Um, I just—’
He dips his head and kisses me on the lips. ‘Then
shhhh
,’ he whispers. ‘It’ll be fine. I know what I’m doing. Don’t worry.’ His hand slips
between my thighs.
I turn my head. Do I want this? I feel completely paralysed. I should want this.
And then the sound of shouting and yelling bursts through the door and we both sit bolt upright on the bed.
‘What the—?’ Jeremy is on his feet almost instantly and crossing to the door. I notice that his shirt is undone and wonder briefly how that happened;
when
that
happened.
I barely have time to clutch my dress closed before Jeremy yanks open the door. The first thing I see, through the open doorway, is Jesse. He’s holding Parker by the collar of his shirt,
his fist just inches from Parker’s face. ‘Where the hell is she?’ he’s shouting.
Summer is behind him, screaming.
Tyler is sprawled over the table in the centre of the room, though whether he’s fallen or been pushed isn’t clear. I can’t take anything else in, and at that point Jesse turns
his head anyway and sees me, still sitting on the edge of the bed, clutching my dress, open-mouthed with shock. Jeremy is standing half-naked in the doorway.
Shit.
As soon as he sees me, Jesse lets go of Parker, who staggers backwards, his eyes wide. I see in that instant that they are actually all scared of Jesse, despite their bravado. None of the guys
want to go up against him. I guess I wouldn’t either, after what he did to Tyler.
I stand on shaking legs, my eyes fixed on Jesse the whole time. There’s so much rage and betrayal flying over his face that I know I should feel scared but I don’t. I’m feeling
guilty (weirdly) and I’m feeling ashamed but I’m not feeling scared.
‘You shouldn’t be here,’ I say quietly as he takes a stride towards me, ignoring the threatening postures of all the boys who close in on him.
I see his eyes fall to my dress, which I’m still holding together, and a scowl passes over his face. Jeremy is barring the doorway and Jesse stares at him coldly. ‘Get out of my
way,’ he growls.
‘No,’ Jeremy answers.
‘Get out of my way,
please
,’ Jesse says, holding his gaze. ‘I need to talk to Ren.’
‘Jesse,’ I say again, in a pleading tone, aware that everyone in the room is now staring at me. I’m not sure what to say. I just want him to calm down and get away from here
before someone calls the police.
‘You can’t just burst in here. You’re trespassing. Someone call 911!’ Tyler shouts.
‘No!’ I yell at the same time as Jeremy.
‘Just leave, Miller,’ Jeremy says, lowering his voice. ‘And we won’t call the cops.’ He glances back at Tyler over his shoulder. ‘Don’t call the
cops,’ he says, shooting him a look I can’t decipher. ‘We’re dealing with this ourselves,
remember
?’
Tyler shoots Jesse a vicious look and then backs away, putting his hand on Summer’s arm and pushing the phone away from her ear.
‘I’m not going anywhere without her,’ Jesse says, nodding his head in my direction.
I put my hand on Jeremy’s arm. ‘Let me talk to him,’ I say. ‘It’s OK.’
What I want to say is that I can get him to calm down. I just want Jesse to leave without the police being called. I cannot believe he has come here to the house. I’m betting Tara called
him and told him that she saw me with Jeremy and that’s why he’s turned up. But why? What right does he have to just show up like this, burst in and demand I leave with him? And more to
the point – is he freaking stupid? This little stunt could get him arrested.
Jeremy glowers at me over his shoulder but then he says, ‘Fine. Whatever.’
Jesse pushes past him and Jeremy’s jaw tightens in response. Jesse puts his hand on the door, ushering Jeremy out.
‘You’ve got to be kidding?’ Tyler shouts.
‘You’ve got two minutes,’ Jeremy says through gritted teeth, his hand still on the door. ‘Or I’m going to kick down the door.’
‘Whatever,’ Jesse says before turning his back.
‘You sure, Ren?’ Jeremy asks, giving me an incredulous look. I nod. ‘Well, tell your little friend that if he doesn’t walk out of here of his own accord in two minutes he
won’t be walking out of here at all.’
Dickhead.
The word pops into my head and almost trips off my lips. I cannot believe the behaviour of these boys. I roll my eyes as Jeremy leaves and closes the door behind him.
‘What are you doing?’ Jesse demands as soon as the door is shut. His whole body is roiling with tension, his hands are fisted at his sides, the ribbons of tendons in his neck
raised.
I shrug.
His shoulders drop. A look of hurt passes across his face, making my stomach muscles clench.
‘Were you about to sleep with him?’ he asks. His expression is so accusatory that I feel momentarily indignant before embarrassment washes over me. ‘It shouldn’t be with
him,’ Jesse says before I can answer him. And he says it in such a sad voice that something catches inside me.
‘Why?’ I ask, struggling to hold on to my indignation. ‘What’s it got to do with you?’
‘It shouldn’t be with someone like him,’ he answers.
‘You don’t even know him,’ I snap.
‘And you do?’ he fires back.
‘Yeah,’ I nod. ‘Better than you do.’
‘Does he love you?’ Jesse asks, his whole body seemingly poised on my reply, his brown eyes boring into mine, ready to read the answer there first.
I shake my head, I can’t look him in the eye.
‘Do you love him?’ he asks, softer now, his voice hoarse.
He’s making me feel so slutty. But he’s right. I don’t love Jeremy.
‘Ren,’ Jesse says, his voice so magnetic I want to fall against him. ‘Don’t do it. He doesn’t deserve you.’
He reaches for me, puts his hand on my shoulder and I feel my body sigh, all the energy inside me racing in torrents through my limbs. And that’s just from his hand touching my shoulder. I
swallow, trying to push away the thought of what his hand could achieve touching of the rest of my body.
The door bursts open at that point.
‘Time’s up,’ Jeremy announces, frowning at the sight of Jesse’s hand on my shoulder.
I glance downwards. I’ve let go of my dress and I realise that with the buttons undone almost to the waist, my bra is on full display. I quickly start buttoning up my dress, fingers
fumbling. This couldn’t
get
more embarrassing. Behind Jeremy I am aware of an audience gathering, at the front of which is Eliza and Tyler. Naturally. The Gods of Humiliation
aren’t done with their little plaything just yet.
‘It’s time to leave – right now, before we call the police,’ Jeremy says, marching into the room.
‘Just go, Jesse. Leave,’ I say.
Jesse’s head whips back towards me. ‘Not without you,’ he says.
‘Jesse, please. You can’t be here,’ I whisper.
‘You’ve got a restraining order, Miller. You can’t be near Tyler.’
‘Let’s beat the shit out of him!’ It’s Parker, yelling in the background. He’s standing next to Tyler. I swear that boy has fewer brain cells than an amoeba.
I grab for Jesse’s arm. ‘Jesse, just go. I’ll be fine.’
He looks at me, his dark eyes burning like fire. He’s on the verge of saying something.
‘Please,’ I whisper again.
He keeps looking at me, seemingly oblivious to the aggression in the room, all of it aimed at him and building dangerously. ‘I won’t force you, Ren,’ he finally says. I see his
hand reach out for me before he brings it back to his side.
I don’t move. I don’t know why. Half of me is desperate to take his hand and let him drag me out of there. But I can’t. Not this way. It will look like I’ve got something
going on with Jesse and I want to explain to Jeremy. He deserves that. He doesn’t deserve me walking out on him in front of all his friends.
Jesse backs away towards the door, staring at me the whole time. I have to dig my heels in to stop myself from following him. He gives me one last look that makes me flinch from its ferocity,
and then he turns in the doorway and pushes past Tyler, Parker, Eliza and Summer. Tyler mutters something and Jesse shakes his head and smirks at him. ‘Nice cardigan,’ he says, glancing
down at Tyler’s outfit. Summer titters. And then Jesse’s gone out the door.
In his wake comes a silence so full that I can feel the blood rushing in my ears.
‘What did he want?’ It’s Jeremy speaking.
I turn to him, my movements feeling sluggish, almost time-delayed. ‘Um,’ I say, ‘he wanted to talk to me.’
‘About what?’ he demands. ‘How do you even know him?’
‘The bike,’ Eliza pipes up from behind him. ‘Remember she rented a bike from him?’
‘This was about a bike?’ someone else asks.
‘She’s friends with him,’ Summer says.
‘Looks like she’s more than just friends with him,’ Eliza sniggers.
Jeremy ignores her, thankfully. ‘You’re
friends
with that loser?’ he asks me, a look of disbelief on his face.
‘He’s not a loser,’ I say, anger bubbling under my skin.
‘He beat up Tyler,’ Parker shouts.
‘And you guys beat the shit out of
him
,’ I shout back, surprised that my anger has boiled over so quickly.
‘He’s a psychopath,’ Jeremy says, shaking his head at me in confusion.
I bite my tongue. He’s not a psychopath but I know there’s no point in arguing his case in front of these people.
‘Clearly he thinks the two of you are more than just friends,’ Jeremy says and I see the accusation in his narrowed eyes.
‘No he doesn’t,’ I say with a sigh. ‘He thinks I have a boyfriend.’
‘A what?’ Jeremy asks and I see his face pale ever so slightly.
I hesitate before saying quickly, ‘Nothing.’
‘You told him you had a boyfriend?’ Parker asks and I don’t mistake the tone of amusement in his voice. Behind him Tyler laughs under his breath.
‘Yeah,’ I say quickly, my cheeks burning. Do I have to do this with an audience? ‘But only to let him know I wasn’t interested in him.’
I swear I see a glimmer of relief cross Jeremy’s face and my blood runs cold.
‘So what did he want then?’ Tyler demands. ‘If not to pay a booty call?’
‘He was just looking out for me,’ I snap.
‘Looking out for you? What, like we’re the ones you need to be protected from?’ He throws back his head and laughs.
I look at Jeremy. ‘I want to go home,’ I say, feeling suddenly stone cold sober and overwhelmingly tired.
Jeremy studies me, pressing his lips together. His expression is hard, quite a way removed from his expression ten minutes ago.
‘Can you take me?’ I say, hating having to ask.
‘I’ve been drinking,’ he answers, a small smile at the side of his mouth.
I grind my teeth. He knew I needed a ride home but he still drank. I can’t believe it. What was he expecting? To sleep with me and send me home in a taxi afterwards? Jesus. I wish now that
I’d left with Jesse.
I push past Jeremy, past all the others still gathered in the doorway like rubberneckers. I don’t look at them. I hold my head high. Expletives are on the tip of my tongue but I contain
them. I will keep my dignity, as much as still remains to me.
‘No score for you tonight,’ I hear Tyler snicker to Jeremy as I walk by.
Jeremy mumbles something under his breath that sounds like a swear word.
The tears are welling as I stomp across the lawn and overflowing by the time I make it to the house because by then I realise that Jeremy hasn’t even bothered to come after me.
I walk inside having decided to find a phone and call a taxi. Goddamn it, I think, suppressing a sob, I don’t want to take a taxi. I don’t even have a number for
one. Just then Mr Thorne comes out of his study. He sees me and for a moment looks surprised before worry takes the place of the surprise.
‘Ren, are you OK?’ he asks, walking towards me.
‘I’m fine,’ I say, trying to keep it together. ‘I just . . . I need to call a taxi.’
He looks like he’s about to say something then changes his mind. ‘Sure, let me get the phone.’ He disappears back into the study, returning a second later with the phone.
‘Would you rather I gave you a ride?’ he asks.
‘I can do that.’ It’s Mr Reed. He’s come out of the study and is smiling at me with a smile I’m sure he uses to bedazzle and bamboozle juries. ‘I’m
heading that way,’ he adds.
I stare between them. It’s the choice between a taxi driver and two men who are friends with Carrie and Mike. ‘OK,’ I say to Mr Reed, ‘But I need to call Carrie and let
her know what I’m doing.’