‘Do you think I’m really in danger?’ I ask, a little buzz of doubt starting to thrum in my head.
Mike shrugs and pulls an uncertain face. ‘No. Not if you take care and do as you said, maybe carry an alarm with you. Carrie can give you some mace or something to take with you when you
go out. But I don’t want you out at night unless it’s with Jeremy Thorne or someone we know. And I want to know exactly where you’re going at all times and with whom. At least
until they catch this guy. Do you understand? No wandering off along the beach for a starlit stroll or walking back to the car on your own.’
‘OK,’ I say in a small voice. I keep thinking about my mum. It’s doubtful the news from Nantucket has reached London but I feel like I should tell her anyway. The thing is, I
know what she’ll say – come straight home – and I want to stay here. I’m having fun. I’m enjoying hanging out with Jeremy. And with Jesse. Perhaps more the latter, but
lalalalalalala
I’m not going there.
If I leave, the likelihood is I’ll never see either of them again and I’m not ready for that. The voice in my head points out that if I stay and get killed by the Nantucket Nanny
Serial Killer then I won’t see
anyone
ever again but I quickly silence it. Along with the nagging voice that keeps asking,
Is it Tyler?
I mean, he disappeared back to the
mainland the day after the girl was attacked and Jesse keeps warning me about him. But he was with Summer the night of the attack, wasn’t he? I saw her running along behind him, trying to do
up her buttons and stuff her boobs back inside her bra. He didn’t have
time
to attack anyone. I’m just being suspicious. It could be anyone – the island is rammed with
tourists and holiday-makers.
Later that evening I Google all the news reports I can find about the two girls that were murdered. They were both under twenty. From the photographs I can see that both of them were
dark-haired, pretty and, from the sound bites beneath their pictures, had
their whole lives ahead of them
. Well, yeah, I think . . . state the obvious, much? Both were working in Nantucket
for the summer. They were both strangled and both of them had their wrists bound with fishing line. I have second thoughts for a moment about my decision to stay. But then Jeremy sends me a
message.
Hello, beautiful
, he writes,
party tomorrow night at my house. Hope you can come. I’m looking forward to seeing you.
I can come
, I type back, forgetting my promise just minutes before that I won’t go out at night. But I’m not going back to England. And I want to enjoy my last four weeks
here.
I decide not to tell Megan a thing about what’s going on because I know that she’ll tell my mum and together they’ll plot an intervention to make sure I’m on the next
flight home.
The whole of the next day I feel antsy. Images of the two dead girls flash into my mind every minute or so and I keep wondering about my sanity in staying. But then I think
about Jesse and Jeremy too. It would be so typical of me to get murdered because I chose to follow my heart rather than my head (and possibly not just my heart but another part of my anatomy) but
that’s how I want to live my life, I decide. Not dictated to by fear. (Just by hormones.)
I tell Mike and Carrie that Jeremy has invited me to a party at his house and they both agree that I can go, as long as I promise to call when I’m about to leave so they know when to
expect me home. Carrie takes me into her bedroom and rifles through her drawers before pulling out a can of something and handing it to me. It’s about the same size as my inhaler.
‘It’s mace,’ she tells me. ‘Pepper spray. Keep it in your purse.’
‘OK,’ I say, taking it. Somehow, being given this makes the whole threat seem a bit more real. Up until now I was in a state of disbelief but holding the little can of mace I
suddenly realise that they believe I might be in very real danger. This doesn’t make me feel any better. I remind myself that I’m only going to Jeremy’s house. He’s even
offered to come and pick me up for which I’m hugely grateful. I had visions of me breaking down on some lonely street and . . . well, I’ve clearly watched too many horror movies.
As I stare at my wardrobe I wonder anxiously whether tonight is the night I’ll sleep with Jeremy. I have been thinking about my last chat with Megan. I’ve moved from thinking maybe
she’s got a point to accepting that she almost certainly does. THE ONE does not exist. And even if THE ONE did happen to exist outside of a Disney cartoon, it’s most definitely not
Jesse Miller, no matter how much I might want it to be. He’s made it patently – no,
emphatically
– clear he only wants to be friends. I should be grateful for having
Jeremy and, like Megan says, maybe this
is
as good as it’s going to get. And if it is, I can’t complain.
I dress slowly, deliberately. I choose a dark blue dress that is more revealing than any of my other outfits. It’s got buttons down the front and sits mid-thigh. I look at myself in the
three-way mirror. It doesn’t reek slutbags, but it certainly falls this side of sexy. I leave my hair loose and layer on mascara and lipgloss, feeling the nerves start to jangle as I ponder
about what tonight holds.
I’m pretty sure Eliza will be there, though I’m hoping that Tyler isn’t back from Boston yet. I could genuinely do without seeing either of them, but odds are they’ll
both be there, so I ready myself by pulling Megan bitchfaces in the mirror. Instantly I feel much more able to handle them.
Jeremy arrives on time to pick me up, much to Carrie and Mike’s pleasure. I swear they’re more like my parents than my real parents, which admittedly wouldn’t be hard on the
part of my actual father.
We climb into Matt’s car and Jeremy drives us back to his house. He stops halfway there, parking along the side of the road in a darkened patch of street. I have a moment’s panic,
but thankfully he’s only pulled over so he can kiss me (and not strangle me with some fishing wire), so I start to breathe again. Jeremy takes my face in both hands and kisses me for a very
long time and we’re both a little flustered and breathless when he pulls away.
‘I’ve been wanting to do that all week,’ he murmurs, his lips still so close to mine I can feel their heat.
I smile and my stomach flutters in response. Yes. I can do this.
He puts the car back into drive and two minutes later we arrive at his house. The lights are all on downstairs.
‘My parents had an afternoon cocktail party,’ Jeremy explains as we walk up the drive.
I wonder why they didn’t invite Mike and Carrie but I don’t ask.
Jeremy takes my hand as we walk in through the front door. The remnants of a party cover the living room. Trays of empty champagne flutes and canapés are being cleared away.
Jeremy’s mother, who I remember from that first day at the yacht club, looks up when we come in the door and frowns at us.
‘Mom, you remember Ren?’ Jeremy says, putting his arm around me.
I hold out my hand. ‘Hi, Mrs Thorne,’ I say as the frown fades and a fifty watt plastic smile brightens her face.
‘Oh yes, hello, Ren,’ she says. ‘Excuse the mess, we’re just cleaning up. We had a few friends over earlier.’
‘Of course. Can I help?’ I ask.
Mrs Thorne smiles kindly at me, possibly a little patronisingly. ‘No, that’s OK, Ren, we have help for things like that, though thanks for offering.’
‘Oh,’ I mumble.
At that point a girl in a tight black skirt walks into the room, carrying an empty tray at waist height. She stops on the threshold of the room, her mouth falling open.
I am aware of Jeremy’s arm still around my waist, burning into me like a scarlet letter. My cheeks flame. Tara’s gaze has slipped to Jeremy’s hand, settled proprietorially on
my hip. Her mouth pulls into a grimace. She shakes her head at me and moves past without a word.
Oh holy crap
, I think, as I watch her start stacking glasses onto her tray. She will tell Jesse. She’ll tell him and he’ll know I’ve been lying to him all this
time.
‘Ren?’
Jeremy is talking to me. ‘Let’s go,’ he says, starting to pull me towards the door.
I nod and try to smile but inside I’m dissolving. I glance over my shoulder at Tara. She is still clearing glasses but her eyes are fixed on me, the judgement written clear on her face. I
try to beg her silently not to jump to conclusions and not to tell Jesse (but really it’s not like the conclusions are wrong, and Jeremy’s hand is now resting on my butt as if to
confirm them) but goddamn it I have no powers of telepathy and it’s clear from her mealy-mouthed expression that doing me favours isn’t high on her list of priorities. Jeremy’s
mother appears beside her and starts directing her in her clean-up duties. She looks away.
Maybe this is for the best, I tell myself, thoughts flitting frantically through my head. Maybe this is the way it should be. No more lying. It’s not like Jesse is telling me the truth
either. What right does he have to be annoyed? It’s not like we’re going out or anything. Or like he even fancies me. So, I can hook up with whoever I want.
Jeremy pauses in the kitchen and whips open the fridge door. He grabs a bottle of champagne and then, taking my hand, leads me back into the hallway. We pass a study. The door is open and I see
Mr Thorne in there with Tyler’s dad and Sophie’s father. They’re drinking Scotch and look like they’re talking about something serious.
‘The business is suffering, just buy him out,’ I hear Mr Thorne say.
‘I can’t make the offer. He won’t accept. It needs to come from someone else,’ Tyler’s dad replies.
‘We own the plots on either side, maybe we could put in a bid,’ Mr Thorne says. Then he looks up and notices us. ‘Hey, kids. Hi, Ren.’
‘Hi,’ I say.
‘Don’t be too loud down there,’ Mr Thorne says to Jeremy. ‘Your mother will not be happy.’
‘Sure thing, Dad,’ Jeremy answers and he pulls me with him past the study and towards the back door.
Music is blasting from the pool house in the distance. Inside, there are a few people I’ve never seen before, as well as some I’d rather never see again. I spy Eliza and Summer
talking on a pile of cushions in one corner of the room. There’s no sign of Paige and I wonder why she’s stopped hanging around and if it has anything to do with the arguments she had
with Parker and Tyler. Tyler is sitting on the sofa with Parker and another boy I don’t recognise, playing what looks like Call of Duty.
‘Hey, Jeremy, you’re up next,’ Tyler yells as we pass. ‘So don’t be long.’ He sniggers.
‘Who’s winning the competition? You or Tyler?’ I ask Jeremy, feeling a wave of heat wash over my face.
‘Huh?’ Jeremy asks.
‘Call of Duty,’ I say, pointing at the screen. Parker seems to be whipping Tyler well and truly.
‘Oh, that,’ Jeremy says. ‘It’s a tie right now. But by tomorrow I think I’ll be in the lead. Wait here,’ he suddenly says, ‘I’m going to get us
some glasses.’
He leaves me in the middle of the room. I see Eliza glance across at me and pull a face before saying something to Summer, who then whispers something to Eliza that makes her laugh. God,
that’s getting so tired. I pull a Megan-face and the smile on Eliza’s face dies. Jesse was right – why was I even pretending that I could be friends with people like this?
Everyone’s either ignoring me or laughing at me. I will never belong among people like this. They’ll always just look at me as the help.
But then Sophie comes bouncing over to me and I remember that they’re not all like that. She’s wearing a white summer dress and her blonde hair is hanging loose. I see Matt leaning
over the sofa behind Tyler. He glances up and waves at me. I raise a hand, but am then enveloped in a hug by Sophie.
‘Hey,’ I say.
‘I haven’t seen you for ages,’ she babbles. ‘What have you been doing?’
‘Trying to avoid getting murdered,’ I answer.
Her eyes go wide. ‘Oh my God, you must be so scared. I hadn’t thought of that.’ She pats me on the arm. ‘You’ll be alright. You’ve got Jeremy to look after
you.’
I smile at her and decide to change the subject. ‘How are things going with Matt?’ I ask.
‘Really good. He’s like, so sweet,’ she says, smiling from ear to ear.
I look at Matt, who bends to whisper something in Tyler’s ear. Tyler glances up and sees me. His eyes light up and he says something back which makes Matt’s jaw tense and a frown
shoot across his face.
I can’t help but feel a growing sense of disquiet and I’m still thinking about Tara and what she’s going to tell Jesse. ‘Where’s Paige?’ I ask Sophie, more
for something to say than because I care and to make it look to the boys that I am not giving a toss about whatever they’re saying about me. Since Paige friended me on Facebook I’ve not
heard a word from her. I guess she was trying to boost her friend numbers. I make a mental note to unfriend her tomorrow.
‘I guess Paige isn’t coming,’ Sophie says, glancing around the room. ‘She’s not talking to Tyler anymore.’
‘Why?’ I ask, suddenly interested.
‘I’m not sure. Maybe because he hooked up with Summer? That’s what Summer says, anyway.’
She shrugs.
Jeremy comes back then and hands me a glass of champagne. He clinks my glass and I take a sip. ‘To us,’ he says, holding my gaze.
Sophie giggles and backs away. She beckons to Matt and I watch them head outside.
‘So, do you want to go somewhere quiet?’ Jeremy whispers in my ear.
I shrug nonchalantly. ‘Sure,’ I say and the butterflies start to bat their wings. Oh God. I take another sip of champagne and follow after him. We pass Tyler and the boys who are
shouting at the screen as their fingers pump the controllers.
‘He shoots, he scores!’ Tyler yells.
Parker winks at me as I pass. I ignore him. He is gunned down in a hail of video game bullets and I suppress the smile.
Jeremy leads me to a door and into a bedroom. For a moment I hover in the doorway, staring at the double bed in front of me, wondering what the hell I’m doing. I glance back over my
shoulder but everyone in the room seems to be ignoring us, they’re all too busy playing video games, making out or smoking outside. Jeremy seems to sense my hesitation because he puts a hand
on my shoulder, ‘You OK?’ he asks.