The Season: Rush (Austin Arrows #1) (39 page)

51

Ellie

“Who are we meeting?” Bianca asks for the fifteenth time since we left the house.

“A friend,” I tell her.

Her head snaps my way. “Is it Kingston? Is he back in town?”

“Yes, he’s back in town.” I leave it at that. I didn’t say it was Kingston, but maybe she’ll assume and stop asking so many questions. I’m edgy enough as it is. The incessant chatter isn’t helping my nerves.

I pull the car into the parking lot and park next to James’s rental car. Acting as normal as I can, I get out and wait for Bianca to come around and join me.

“We haven’t been here in a while,” she mumbles, shoving her phone into her pocket.

“I thought it’d be nice. It’s your favorite.”

“It used to be,” she says under her breath.

I turn to her. “What does that mean? What’s your favorite place now?”

Bianca shrugs. “I don’t know. I guess I don’t have one.”

“Well, let’s pretend it’s still this one. I like their queso.”

I pull open the door and wait for Bianca to step inside. It’s a very small restaurant, so it only takes a second for me to see James sitting at a table near the back. He’s facing the door, and I can practically feel the emotion rolling off him as his eyes lock on Bianca.

“Two?” the hostess asks.

“Actually, we’re meeting someone.”

The woman nods.

I take Bianca’s arm and lead her toward the back. She has pulled out her phone and she’s typing a message, probably to Gabby. I don’t stop her until we reach the table.

“Bianca,” I say, trying to draw her attention from the phone.

She peers at me briefly. I nod my head and I watch intently as she turns her attention to…

Another one of those suspended-in-time moments occurs. This time, it’s happening to Bianca while I watch. I’m observing from the outside, but I can feel every single emotion that she’s feeling.

Her eyes instantly widen and her mouth falls open. A shocked gasp escapes at the same time her cell phone clatters to the floor. If this were any other day, Bianca would’ve dove to the floor to keep it from hitting the concrete. That doesn’t happen.

Several heads turn. I want to wave them off, to say, “No worries. It’s her dad. She’s seeing him for the first time. Ever. Go back to your enchiladas and empanadas.” I don’t, though. I watch my daughter as her brain processes the man now standing in front of his chair.

I don’t know how in the world she could possibly know who this man is unless she recognizes him because she looks so much like him. Seriously,
I
noticed, so I could see how she could, too.

Tears spring to James’s eyes instantly. If I were seeing him for the first time, I probably would think it was weird. The guy isn’t small by any means. Close to six three, I’d guess. He’s not built quite like the hockey players I spend so much time with, but he’s on the large size. It’s clear he works out. So, this big guy with the slightly crooked nose—an injury he sustained playing high school football, he said—with tears in his eyes is a little disarming.

It totally meshes with the sensitive man I’ve come to know, so I’m not completely surprised.

“Bianca.” The one word comes out as though he’s been gargling with sand.

“You’re…”

They are both too stunned to move, and I’m at risk of bawling my eyes out, so I swallow the lump in my throat and make the official introduction.

“Bianca, this is James Heron. Your father.”

James is nodding his head as though the spring in his neck is loose. Bianca has tears streaming down her face and sobs are breaking free from her. I glance around and see people curiously staring at us.

“No worries,” I say, waving them off. “Those are happy tears.”

I hope they’re happy tears.

I clear my throat, and James looks my way. It’s as though he only realizes then that we’re in the middle of the restaurant. He immediately pulls out the chair to his right and motions for Bianca to take a seat. I manage to pick up her phone from the floor and take the seat beside her, opposite James. I drop her phone into my purse. She won’t need it for a while.

“You’re even more beautiful than your pictures.” James’s tone is full of wonder. “And I definitely like the blue hair.”

Bianca offers a laugh-sob, then takes a deep, shuddering breath.

The waiter comes over, and I order a Dr. Pepper for Bianca and an iced tea for myself, then add a bowl of queso before he walks away. I figure if these two are going to stare at each other for the rest of the night, I might as well eat.

After all, the calories don’t count on the day your twelve-year-old daughter meets her father for the first time, right?

Bianca

I can’t feel my fingers.

Or my toes.

Or … now that I think about it, I can’t feel my legs.

I don’t know how I got into this chair.

My mom’s hand gently slides over my forearm. “Breathe, honey.”

Easy for her to say. I was beginning to think this day would never come.

I knew the second I looked at him that he was my dad. I don’t know how I knew, but I knew. And when tears came to his eyes … it made me cry. Now, I can’t swallow past the huge lump in my throat. If I open my mouth, I fear more tears will stream out of my eyes, and I’m trying not to let that happen. I don’t want him to think I’m a whiny little kid.

“A friend of mine sent your Facebook post to me,” James says. “He was with me in Las Vegas the year I met your mom. The second I saw her picture, I knew who she was.”

I look over at my mom. She nods her head and says, “He called me back in December.”

I stare more intently at her. “December?”

I can’t believe she waited that long to tell me. I’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting. Didn’t she think I deserved to know? This was my idea, after all.

“Your mom and I have spent the last month talking. I think it’s safe to say she’s pretty protective of you.” He smiles. “Which is not a bad thing. She has told me so much about you, and we’ve been counting down the days until it felt right for the two of us to meet.”

“She tried to keep you away from me?” I blurt. I don’t know why I said that, but it hurts to know that she didn’t mention him before now.

“Of course not,” my mom says. “I was trying to protect you.”

“From my own dad?” I glare at her. “Why would you do that? Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

I rarely see my mother get angry, but something passes across her face that tells me now isn’t the time to go into that.

“Are you ready to order?” the waiter asks, thankfully interrupting.

I glance over at James and stare at him a little longer. He’s very handsome, just like I thought he would be. He’s taller than my mom, probably as tall as Kingston.

“You want the usual, Bianca?” my mother asks.

I nod, still staring at James. I need to get my phone so I can text Gabby and tell her what’s going on. I can’t believe I’m sitting here with my mom and my dad for the first time in my life. I watch as James glances over at my mom and smiles. I think he likes her.

I look at my mom. She’s smiling, too.

Oh, my God! I hope this is real. I hope I’m not dreaming.

I thought that meeting my dad would be the greatest thing in the world. And it’s definitely great. But I think Gabby’s right… What would be even better is if my mom and my dad would fall in love and get married.

That would be the best thing ever.

52

Kingston

Saturday, February 4
th

Tonight’s game was a far cry better than I anticipated.

For us, that is. I can’t say how Heath’s night is going.

Somehow, I’ve managed to block out anything and everything for the past couple of weeks. At least when I’m on the ice. It showed tonight. I’m happy with how things went. Not ecstatic, but I think I’m working my way back to normal. A new normal, that is.

Now, as I sit at a table in the hotel bar watching some of my teammates act like asshats, I can honestly say that I’m breathing a little easier.

“Mount Rushmore?”

I glance over to see a cute little brunette standing beside me. She’s biting her knuckle and twirling her hair with her other hand. She looks all of twenty-one. Maybe. I lift my eyebrows, waiting for her to say something.

“Mind if I join you?”

I glance at the empty seat beside me, then back up to her.

I place my beer bottle on the table and offer a smile. “I was actually heading back to my room.”

For some godforsaken stupid fucking reason, that makes her smile more. As though I offered an invitation. In order to ensure she doesn’t take it the wrong way, I add, “Alone. Good night.”

Without looking back, I head to the bank of elevators, then head up to my floor. The team is heading back to Austin first thing in the morning, and if I’m lucky, I’ll get a good six hours of solid sleep before then.

I swipe my key card in the door, then step inside. After flipping the security lock, I turn to see…

“Holy. Fuck.”

The air rushes out of my lungs as I take in the woman sitting on my bed. She’s not naked, nor is she even dressed provocatively, but the sight of her there… It’s the best sight I’ve seen in so long.

“Ellie.” I want to ask why she’s here. I want to ask where James is. I want to ask what she needs, but I can’t bring myself to say anything because I really don’t care.

She’s here. That’s all that really matters.

I walk over to her, studying her face, trying to read her mind. She says nothing, gives nothing away in her expression. When I’m less than a foot away, she stands up and smiles.

“I—” I have no clue what I was going to say, but it doesn’t matter because she quiets me with a finger over my lips.

“No talking. Not tonight.”

In a perfect world, this would be my greatest fantasy. Finding Ellie in my hotel room unexpectedly… I’m supposed to be ecstatic, but for some reason, the pain in my chest drowns out any of that. I can tell by the look in her eye that—despite what I know is about to happen—this is not going to be one of those visits that fixes everything and we live happily ever after.

She pushes my suit coat off my shoulders. “Make love to me, Kingston.”

I swallow hard and nod. I can do that. I want nothing more than to do that.

And though I sense this is probably going to be the absolute last time I get to make love to this woman, I can’t refuse her. My body craves hers; my heart is desperate for a little fix, something to tide me over for as long as it will last.

I remove my jacket and allow her to start working the buttons on my shirt while I cup her face and kiss her with everything that I am. I will her to feel the emotion that’s trapped in my body, desperate to get out. I need her to know everything, but I refuse to become her burden. I love this woman. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, but I’ve come to the brutal conclusion that she will be happier with James.

“God, Ellie.” Her hands make their way beneath my shirt, and I suck in air as her cool fingers slide over my hot skin. “I need you.”

“You have me,” she says. “For as long as you want me.”

I want her for the rest of my life, but I know that’s not possible. Although I probably look pathetic, I’m willing to take what she’s offering. It’ll give me the chance to memorize everything about her, and maybe, just maybe, something will change between us. I’m not holding my breath, though. I’m moving forward with the rationalization that this will be the last time I make love to this woman.

And I’m almost okay with that.

Almost.

Ellie

I do not know what came over me, but here I am.

When James asked Bianca and me to come to Colorado to see his house and so that he could take us to a hockey game, I hadn’t been able to say no. Of course, it didn’t hurt that Bianca begged and pleaded for three entire days before I finally made the decision.

So, James put us on a plane—first class—and picked us up at the airport this morning. Tonight, the three of us are staying in a two-bedroom suite—Bianca and I in one room, James in the other—in this very same hotel. And while Bianca and James decided to settle in to have popcorn and watch a movie, I informed him that I needed to go talk to Kingston. With an understanding nod, he then shooed me on my way and turned his attention back to Bianca.

And here I am, seducing this man, quite possibly for the last time.

Spencer told me which room Kingston was in, and he even managed to help me sneak in without Kingston knowing. For the past half hour, I sat here on the bed, thinking about all the things I wanted to say to him when he came back.

Then, as soon as he stepped foot in the room, I knew there would be no talking. And the moment his lips touched mine, I knew I’d made the right decision.

“Fuck, Ellie. What are you doing to me?”

“Driving you wild, I hope.”

“Definitely that.”

With quick, jerky movements, we manage to remove all the hindering clothing that is keeping us apart. Finally, once we’re both naked, Kingston retrieves a condom from his wallet, then gently lays me down on the bed. I try not to think anything of the fact that he’s using a condom when the last few times we’ve had sex, he hasn’t.

Once he’s sheathed, I pull him down on top of me and fasten my mouth to his. This is where I can lose myself. The only place I want to be. With his strong arms banded around me, his warm weight on top of me, his eager tongue delving into my mouth, and those hungry moans rumbling in his chest. It’s exactly as it has always been. The heat and passion are still there, burning white hot. Something might be missing, but it isn’t lust.

“Need to be inside you,” he grumbles, his mouth sliding down to my jaw.

I need that, too, so I slide my hands down his back and grip his ass, pulling him so that we’re aligned almost perfectly. He groans again and with one shift of his hips…

“Oh, yes,” I hiss as he fills me.

Kingston holds himself perfectly still, and I think he’s allowing my body the chance to stretch. I look up into his eyes, see the way he’s staring back at me. I’m not quite sure what I see reflected there, but whatever it is, I feel it echoing deep inside me. Love, maybe? An unnamed emotion that neither of us is strong enough to acknowledge.

Not wanting to think too long on that, I pull Kingston back down to me, kissing him like this’ll be the last time. It very well could be; I know that. I knew it when I showed up here tonight. Kingston has managed to push me away. I’m simply not strong enough to stay away.

“Ellie,” he groans, pumping his hips forward, back.

I dig my fingernails into his back, focusing on the solidity and warmth of his body against mine, the exquisite friction as he plunges deeper into my body. I force everything else out. This is the only thing that matters. I want to memorize it, to be able to think back and say that I was at one time truly loved by someone. Although he won’t admit it, I know that Kingston loves me. Maybe not the same way that I love him. He might not be
in love
with me, but this is love.

I can’t make him tell me, but I can let him show me.

“Aww… Ellie… Baby…”

Kingston’s arms wrap around my head and we touch from chest to knee. I feel him everywhere. Every part of him. He’s not crushing me, but he’s consuming me. I try to hold back the tears that threaten. It’s not easy, but I won’t let him see me cry. I promised I wouldn’t fall in love with him. It’s not his fault that I did.

His hips begin rocking faster, and I wrap my legs around his waist, taking everything he’ll give me.

“Kingston … yes… Oh, God, yes… Make me come.”

“Come for me, Ellie. Come for me, baby. Let me feel you.”

He doesn’t stop the perfect rhythm of his thrusts, so I hang on, allowing the sensations to consume me.

“Oh, Ellie…”

I know he’s close. I can hear it in the way he says my name. He’s holding back, probably for me. I want him to lose control, but I know better than to expect that. This is the king of control. He has proven it time and time again. He’s only going to give me what he’s willing to give, and I’m going to accept that. No matter how much it hurts.

“Faster,” I breathe against his ear. “Harder… Fuck me harder, Kingston.”

A rough growl escapes him, and he slams into me over and over until I can’t hold back any longer. The kindling ignites into a wild, out-of-control flame as my body catches fire and my orgasm explodes, consuming every one of my senses.

I scream his name over and over, clutching him as he impales me until finally, Kingston lets go. And while he pulses deep inside me and my breaths shudder in and out of my body, I swear I hear him whisper that he loves me. For a moment, there’s a spark of hope, a glimmer of possibility.

Unfortunately, that’s doused when he falls to his back and sighs.

I look over, expecting him to be looking at me. He’s not. He’s staring at the ceiling, and the man lying in the bed with me is not the same man who made love to me seconds ago. No, that guy left and in his place…

“I need to get some sleep, Ellie. Be sure the door shuts when you go.”

I tell myself I shouldn’t be hurt. I walked into this room not knowing what to expect. He owes me nothing. Well, nothing except respect. He does owe me that. Since it’s clear I’m not going to get that, either, I don’t waste any time before I crawl out of his bed, pull on my clothes, and slip out into the hall.

Only then do I let the tears fall as I slide down the wall and press my face to my knees.

Only then do I accept that Kingston Rush is done with me, and there is nothing I can do to change his mind.