The Saddler Boys (15 page)

DREW
sat on a crate in his shed, hammer in hand as he looked at the seeder bar. He could hear Billy riding around on his motorbike, Turbo yapping at the back tyre and causing all the pink-and-grey galahs to squawk and fly from gum tree to gum tree. He was still sitting in that same spot ten minutes later, not having moved a muscle, when someone spoke.

‘You know, to fix something you actually have to use the hammer,' said Matty with a chuckle. ‘You okay? You look like you're on another planet.'

Matt sat on the edge of the seeder bar, his belly almost resting on his lap. He was in his work clothes, covered in grease, and Drew figured he'd been getting his machinery ready for seeding too.

‘I probably was.' Drew put the hammer down and rested his elbows on his knees. ‘You finished all your jobs?'

Matt's deep laugh echoed around the large tin shed. ‘You're a funny bastard.' It was their standard gag. A farmer's work was never done and job lists seemed endless. Drew cracked a smile but Matt frowned, turning serious. ‘Is it Simone? Has she come back?'

‘Nah, not yet. I'm prepared, though. Nat got me some lawyer stuff to read so I can figure out my options.' It had caused him many sleepless nights, but now something else had him worried.

‘Spit it out, Sadds. What's on your mind?' Matt stood up in the afternoon light. The sun was starting to set, bringing a cool chill. ‘Will this need a beer? I've brought some coldies.'

Drew nodded. He needed a friend.

Matt came back from his ute with his jumper on and two cold beers in stubby holders. Those stubby holders spent their lives rolling around his ute but it meant he always had them handy. As usual, Matt had the Pingaring Gumtree Tavern one, leaving Drew his usual red Elders one.

Drew cracked open his beer can and guzzled a big mouthful while Matt made himself comfortable.

‘So what's got your knickers in a twist, besides Simone? Billy isn't acting up?' asked Matt.

‘No, actually. He's been pretty understanding. I keep waiting for him to erupt as I'm not sure how he's processed it. Maybe he's happy knowing he has a mum. I don't know. I guess I just have to wait and see.'

‘So if it's not the little Sadds worrying you, then the only thing I can think of is a certain attractive teacher.' Drew couldn't meet Matt's eyes. ‘I'm right, aren't I?'

Drew raised a shoulder in a half attempt of a shrug.

‘Actually, it was Lozzy. She seemed to think something was going on. I thought she was daft. Are you two . . .?'

‘No, nothing like that, Matty. She's a great friend, really helped me out and she's having some trouble of her own. I guess that's what's chewing my mind up.'

‘She in strife?' His eyebrows shot up like two hairy caterpillars. ‘Can we help?'

‘Nah, it's something she has to figure out on her own, I guess. I can't make her do the right thing. But hell, it's killing me that I can't do anything to help.'

‘Uh-huh.' Matt studied him for a solid five seconds before commenting, ‘Yeah, I see it now. I reckon Lozzy's right. You have a thing for her, don't you?'

Drew glanced out the shed at the setting sun, seeing Nat's hair in the soft golden hues. He did care for Nat – she was amazing. But it wasn't until that night, after he'd left her house, after he'd kissed her cheek, that he'd realised just how much he felt. It had driven him crazy ever since. ‘It didn't start out like that, but all of a sudden it's like she's hit me over the head with a lump of wood. Whammo. Now that I've realised how I feel, I don't know how to stop it.'

‘She's engaged, Drew,' Matt said seriously.

‘I know that. And he's a dick.' Matt's expression changed at his description of Gary but he didn't ask why. ‘It's not like I'm gonna do anything. It's just me. I have to get this under control.' He knew it was a combination of all the little things: seeing her with Billy, being able to talk to her so easily, having her supportive and caring nature in their home.

‘Do you think she feels the same way?'

He sipped his beer as he thought about Matt's question. ‘I don't think so.' He hung his head and felt like he was crying into his beer. ‘Am I horrible for wanting what I can't have?' he whispered.

Matt cleared his throat. It was some deep conversation for them to be having while sober. ‘Nah, mate. I think you're just human. And if her fiancé really is a dick, then maybe she'd be better off without him. Don't beat yourself up about it. She is a honey,' he said with a smile.

Drew had to agree, considering her face was all he could see when he closed his eyes at night. Then there was her sweet perfume, which stirred him into recklessness.

Billy's motorbike roared past. He did a circle then drove it into the shed, parking it up and switching it off. ‘Hiya, Uncle Matt. Are you here alone?'

‘Yeah, I am. Sorry, mate.'

Billy sat beside him on the metal bar. ‘Are you going anywhere for the school holidays?' he asked eagerly.

‘Lozzy might take the kids down to Bremer Bay and I know she was going to see if you wanted to go too.'

‘Oh, yeah! Dad, can I?' Billy shot him a wide-eyed, hopeful look.

‘I'm sure that will be okay. I'll talk to Aunty Loz about it later.
No
hounding me about it, okay?'

‘Yes, Dad. I won't mention it again.'

But Drew knew that Billy would be bugging him about it the moment Matt left and then again back at the house, and over dinner. Billy didn't realise it but he was worse than a broken record. He was a persistent little bugger; he'd give his son that. It was one of the things that made him hard to handle at school – his friends grew tired of his continuously repeating the same stories. Once he'd started you couldn't interrupt him; even if you told him you'd heard it already, he still had to finish it. He'd follow you around, talking and not picking up on social cues, like when people had had enough. That's why Drew needed the school to stay open. The kids here understood he was a little different and they tolerated him. At a new school, with kids who didn't know him, hadn't grown up with him, he would be teased more. And Drew hated that thought.

‘I'm going home to watch TV. Bye, Uncle Matt.'

‘Bye, Billy,' said Matt, roughing up his hair.

‘Okay, I'll be ten minutes,' said Drew before Billy put on his helmet and rode back to the house.

‘Did you see the forecast?' said Matt. ‘Looks like our opening rains are coming. You ready to get this girl out in the paddock?' Matt's thick hand gestured towards the tractor beside him.

The seeder bar was already hooked onto the Case tractor. It was oiled, watered, and had been checked for leaky hoses. ‘I'm as ready as I'll ever be, I guess. It's the seeding part that worries me. It's hard enough putting a crop in all hours of the day without having to look after Billy. I'm not sure how I'm going to do it. I was thinking of employing someone to look after him and make my meals but I'm worried about how Billy would take that.'

‘He'd be all right . . . eventually. And you know Loz will help out. She's got two to look after. What's one more?'

‘I know, but she does so much already.'

‘Why don't you ask Natalie?' said Matt teasingly.

Drew smiled at the mention of her name. ‘It had crossed my mind.' It would ensure he got to see her.

‘Maybe between Loz, Nat and Doris, it can be done. Share the load?'

Doris had been Alice's best friend. She'd helped nurse Alice when she got really sick and, after she'd gone, Doris would often pop over and put dinner in the fridge for them. Drew had tried to hire her over harvest to help with the cooking but she wouldn't hear of it. Instead she made him roast dinners, which gave him plenty of meat for lunches, and helped him catch up on some housework. She was a diamond in the rough, old Doris. She lived in a ramshackle house on her departed husband's farm and drove over in her buggered ute that had no lights, except for the torch she held out the window at night, and no brakes. She often said it was God's will where she stopped. Billy thought she was the funniest lady out, with her short grey hair, missing teeth and holey trackpants.

The idea of having all three ladies helping had merit, though. Actually, it was just the thought of having a certain green-eyed beauty around more often that got his blood moving faster.

‘You know, that's not a bad idea, Richo. Seems you're useful after all,' he said with a wink.

‘Now that I've solved all ya problems, I'd better head home to my own. Bloody hormonal woman, grumpy and stubborn . . . and I'm just talking about my bloody sister!' Matt laughed at his own joke as he stood up and headed to his ute. He took off, arm waving out the window.

Drew finished his beer and decided that he'd talk to Nat about seeding, to see if she was keen. Hopefully, the thought of Gary's reaction wouldn't scare her off.

THE
first day back after school holidays was a boisterous one. The kids were excited over the classroom Hogwarts decorations, running around the room as they spotted more things from the broomsticks, house-coloured sashes, cauldrons and witches hats, spiders and pictures of the Hogwarts castle on the board. Then morning news went for over half an hour.

‘We went to Albany and saw the whale place and the fort on the hill,' said Issac.

‘My dad cut his finger nearly off with a bit of tin and got ten stitches,' said Ruby.

‘No, he got five stitches, Ruby,' her older brother butted in.

‘We went to Bali and everyone got sick except for me,' said Ava.

It was like an intersection in India in Nat's classroom, all the kids eager to tell news as loudly and as quickly as they could. It took a few days for the novelty of school holidays to wear off. During the week, Nat kept a lookout for Simone, as promised, and helped Kath plan letters to save the school. They drafted a letter to invite the minister out to Lake Biddy and rang all the other nearby rural schools up for closure to see what things they were doing.

‘And you have to help me with Bogan Bingo,' Lauren had begged after school one day.

‘Bogan what?'

‘Bingo.' Lauren smiled innocently. ‘It's an after-seeding celeb­ration night for everyone to get together and unwind. Plus we're raising money for the P & C.'

‘There never seems to be a dull moment in this small town,' Nat had replied. ‘Ida was just telling me about the Holt Rock Hoedown, something about country music in a shearing shed on someone's farm?'

‘Haha, yep. Just bring ya swag, tent or caravan for a night of fun. You should come. I know you don't dig country music but it's more than that. It's the atmosphere, the friendly faces and the laughs. Maybe together we can work on getting Drew there. He's due for a night out,' Lauren had said.

The Hoedown was starting to sound better, Nat had thought, then felt immediately guilty for being disloyal to Gary. She still wasn't talking to him, but he really did seem to be trying to make amends for his actions. He had started to text, at first wondering if she was okay because she wasn't replying, then eventually starting to say how sorry he was.

Princess, I just love you so much and I momentarily lost the plot. I'm so sorry. I just couldn't handle losing you to anyone, not after what I went through with my last girlfriend. You are my life. Please talk to me. Please tell me that you're okay? I promise never to let that happen again. Baby, please, tell me what I can do to make it better?

Nat eventually texted back, saying that she just needed time. Now every morning she'd get an
I love you
or a
Good morning, princess.
She still wasn't sure whether she could trust him again, but she appreciated how hard he was trying.

It was the last week in April, on a Tuesday, when Nat noticed a lady standing by the school gate. A slim figure in a big knitted black jumper with a dark-green beanie over her straight brown hair. She had a long fringe and was sucking on a cigarette even though it was starting to rain. Nat's gut told her that this was Simone. By the road she saw a dark sedan, much like the one Billy had described.

Nat approached her slowly, so as not to scare her. ‘Hello.'

‘Hi,' she replied, but her eyes were watching the kids.

‘Are you Simone?'

Her dark eyes flicked to Nat. It was hard to tell what colour they were, with the shadows around her eyes. There was confusion and then panic in them as she started to back away.

‘Simone, wait. Please.' Nat didn't want her disappearing again. ‘For Billy's sake.'

That caught her attention. She stepped closer to the fence. ‘That's his name? My boy is called Billy?'

Nat cringed at her words as a wave of smoke nearly choked her. It was hard not to instantly dislike her, especially knowing the whole story. Nat clenched her teeth and dug her nails into her palms.
Calm breath
, she told herself. ‘You can't be here, Simone. You need to talk to Drew. He knows you're around and that you've tried to see Billy.' Nat couldn't bring herself to say ‘your son'.

‘I just want to see him, see how he's grown.'

Now was not the time for Nat to give her a lecture on how she gave all those rights up. ‘Please, go and see Drew now. He's at the farm and he needs to talk to you. You can't come around here again or the school will have to call the police. Do you understand?' They stood there in the light rain, the fence between them, like two fighters sizing each other up before a bout.

Simone's eyes narrowed. Her skin was patchy and lifeless. She would have been very beautiful once but the abuse was evident on her body. Her jumper sleeves were pushed up, revealing scars and marks mixed in with tattoos.

‘Yeah, I guess I can't put it off, can I? At least I still remember how to get there.' Simone turned but paused, swinging back again. ‘Is Drew well? Is he still a looker? Is his mum still ruling the roost?'

Nat shrugged. She wasn't going to give Simone anything. ‘You'll see soon enough.' It actually turned her stomach to think of Billy's mum at home with Drew, the family back together again. Nat realised she felt a bit jealous.

Simone left and Nat waited until she'd turned down the road towards Drew's farm. Quickly she went back to her phone and called him.

‘Nat? Is everything okay?' said Drew, always fearing the worst when someone called from school.

‘Simone was here. I told her she had to come to see you.'

‘Shit.'

‘Did I do the wrong thing?' she asked, worried.

‘No, Natty, not at all. I'm just afraid. Actually, I'm terrified of facing her again.' His voice was strained.

‘Is there anything I can do? Would you like me to bring Billy back to my house?'

‘Actually that would be awesome, if you could. I don't really want him seeing her again until we sort this out. Thanks, Nat. Hopefully it's not for too long. I'll come get him when she leaves. I have something I want to discuss with you anyway.'

‘Okay. Well, why don't you come in for dinner then? Billy will be fine with me for however long, you don't need to worry.'

‘Um, yeah, I've actually got chops defrosted so maybe another time, but thanks anyway.' There was an awkward silence then Drew finally spoke again. ‘Umm, I'd better go and get the paperwork out for Simone. I'll catch up with you soon. Thanks for having Billy. I owe ya, again.'

Nat could picture his smile. ‘Okay, good luck, Drew.'

They hung up and Nat stared at her phone, hoping it would give her answers as to why Drew didn't want to come for dinner. Did he have Gary in the back of his mind? Maybe she was reading too much into it. He could just be stressed, or maybe the chops really did need cooking. There was just something about his voice, an uncertainty she'd never heard before. With a sigh she put her phone away, feeling a nag of disappointment.

The bell rang and, within minutes, flushed faces came pouring into the classroom. ‘Walk, Noah, please. Zara, you forgot your hat. Mia, can you clean the board for me, please? Thank you.' Mia smiled as if she'd been picked first for a team. It was a chore yet the kids didn't see it as one. Even the senior room kids liked to use the blackboard, despite Grace having an interactive whiteboard. The kids made their way to their desks, animated, talking excitedly about games they'd been playing over the lunchbreak. Nat watched Billy put his hat on the hook before gesturing him aside.

‘Guess what?'

‘What?'

‘You're not on the bus this afternoon. Can you guess who you're going to stay with?'

Billy's tiny eyebrows knitted together as he thought long and hard. He was still trying to process the fact that he wasn't on the bus.

‘Henny and Penny have been waiting to see you,' she hinted.

His face lit up. ‘Oh, am I coming to your house after school?'

‘Yes, you are. Is that okay? You don't mind hanging out with me and the chooks?'

Billy's mouth and nose twitched together. It was his latest thing. Last week it had been clearing his throat every two seconds. As one tic went, another would take its place, and he didn't even realise he was doing it. It had taken Nat a while to notice, most could be just passed off as normal reactions, but now that she was aware she could watch them come and go. Nat did wonder if it was stress or anxiety causing them, or whether it was just some nerve issues. Drew often pointed it out gently, making him aware of it and eventually he'd stop, only to start doing something different instead.

‘Yay!' he said. ‘I like your place.'

He skipped to his chair and she overheard him telling his classmates that he was going to Miss Wright's house after school. It won him some envious smiles.

After school finished and she'd let the bus driver know Billy wasn't going to be on, she finished off some work while Billy coloured in a picture, and then they walked hand in hand back to her house. He had his schoolbag, and Nat was carrying the leather bag she'd bought especially to cart her stuff to and from school. It was still fresh outside and Nat was thankful for her high-heeled boots, jeans and soft pink cashmere jumper. The locals had already warned her that it got freezing in winter, especially when the frosts were around. Drew had offered to get her some wood for the tiny potbelly fire in her house. He wasn't the only one to offer, either. Wazza and Pansy had been as sweet as pie in the shop the other day, offering their services. Frank had smacked them with his straw broom and told them off for hounding his customers. They had then complained that they were his customers too. It was all in jest and Nat loved the banter that the locals seemed to have running all the time.

‘How about you catch up with Henny and Penny for a bit while I put together an afternoon snack for us?'

‘Okay.' Billy dropped his schoolbag and crawled down onto the lawn, calling out to the chooks. He talked to them while she ducked inside.

They had hummus, carrot sticks and rice crackers at the little table setting on her back patio while they watched the chooks.

‘This is real fancy,' said Billy, scooping up a big blob of dip on the end of his carrot.

‘I'm glad you approve. Now afterwards, shall we get your homework out of the way? Then maybe we can play a game or you could walk me to the shop for some groceries and the mail?'

‘Okay,' he mumbled, munching the food in his mouth.

All afternoon Nat kept checking her phone in case Drew called.

‘Natty?' asked Billy, drawing her attention back from the patch of dirt she'd been staring at.

Nat was finding it hard to focus on Billy's stories when her mind kept disappearing. Looking at him, she realised this probably wasn't the first time he'd called her name. ‘Hmm, yep?'

‘My dad's here.'

She stood up and turned around to the gate to see Drew letting himself in.

‘Hey,' she said with a smile, which he returned before focusing on Billy.

‘Hey, mate. Hope you've been good for Natty.'

Billy nodded and Drew told him to go get his stuff so they could head home. ‘Thanks, Nat.'

‘No worries, he was no problem at all. How did it go?' she asked quickly while Billy was inside.

‘Okay, I guess. She just wants to see him occasionally. She doesn't want to take him away, so that's a start.'

‘You going to let them meet?'

‘Guess I have to, otherwise Billy might hate me later for keeping her away. But I still wouldn't mind getting the forms filled out so it's all official and it stipulates he's mine and she gets a day a month or so many hours' visitation. I want his time with her limited.'

‘I understand,' said Nat quickly as Billy came out of the house with his schoolbag on his back.

‘Natty helped me do my homework, Dad, and my other assignment, and we had a fancy snack and played.' Billy grinned, looking from adult to adult.

‘Nice one.' Drew scratched the stubble on his jaw. Nat knew that was a sure sign something was on his mind. ‘Um, I've got seeding coming up and it's the first time with Mum gone.' Drew put his hands on Billy's shoulders, keeping him close. ‘And I'm not sure how I'm going to cope. Harvest was pretty hard going but between Loz and Doris we got through. But seeding's a bit different; I don't have to wait for the right temperature to seed so it's usually crazy hours getting it all in. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I'm hoping that you wouldn't mind looking after Billy on occasion, if it's not too much trouble, and only to help give Loz and Doris a break.' Drew's face was turning pink but he kept eye contact while he spoke.

Nat didn't hesitate. ‘Of course.'

‘Um, okay. Are you sure?' He seemed a little relieved and shocked at the same time.

‘Yes, of course. He can stay with me after school. If he's up to staying the night he's welcome to stay —'

‘Can I, Dad? Can I stay here?' Billy cut in.

‘I guess. We might need a trial run first,' Drew said, shooting Nat a warning gaze.

‘I don't mind having him for as long as you need.' Nat knew Gary wouldn't mind as it was just Billy and she'd love the company. ‘He'd be no trouble here, if that's what you're worried about?'

‘I'm more worried about putting you out. Seeding can go for a while.' He pulled a face.

‘Well, don't. I want to help.' Nat put her hand on his arm to reinforce her point, causing him to flinch slightly. She drew her hand away, a bit puzzled. ‘Call me and we'll sort out the details?'

‘Yeah, I will.' Drew's chest rose with his deep breath. His long-sleeved blue-checked shirt strangely made him look very appealing, even though there was dirt on the shoulder, as if he'd been crawling under something. He smelt like grease and fuel, and for some reason she liked that.