The Runaway Schoolgirl (19 page)

A
s I had expected, Christmas 2013 was a very low-key affair. I remember waking up early on Christmas morning while everyone else was still asleep and stepping out into the garden. It was all so eerily quiet, and I stood there lost in my thoughts, wondering if we would ever be able to have a ‘normal’ Christmas again.

We had made the house look nice, and I hadn’t scrimped on presents, but it just all felt flat somehow. It came and went almost like any other day. Thankfully, Boxing Day was much better – all the children came over and it felt much more like our typical family Christmas. New Year’s Eve, on the other hand, was a real non-event. Gemma went out with some friends, so Paul and I put Lilly to bed and saw in 2014 watching Jools Holland on TV. After all the stress of the trial and the hurt and upset with Gemma, neither of us wanted to
celebrate. All we wanted was for things to get back to normal. But as I have come to realise through all of this, just as we had got over one hurdle, another one would come along for us to deal with …

During the trial, I was approached by a woman from an independent production company who said that she was making a documentary about teacher–pupil relationships for Channel 4. I told her that I wasn’t in the least bit interested in getting involved – I was still in the process of understanding why all this had happened in the first place, after all – but some time later she got in touch again to see if I would reconsider.

Once again, I said no. I had no interest at all in being involved with the programme. How could I talk about something I didn’t even understand myself? I had received a number of offers to sell my story and appear on TV, but I declined them all. Don’t get me wrong, the money offered would have made a real difference to my family, but I couldn’t face the idea of making a profit out of what happened to Gemma. As I have said before, I am only writing this book so that I can give my side of the story.

But I knew the documentary was going ahead whether or not I wanted to be part of it. I tried to see if I could get it stopped, but all of the information was already in the public domain and there was nothing I could do about it as long as the programme-makers adhered to the court order.

The programme was called
Sexting Teacher
and aired on Channel 4 on Tuesday, 18 February 2014. It focussed on three relationships: Gemma and Forrest’s; another girl who had run off with her teacher and had a relationship with him for a few years; and a third teacher who was found guilty of sex offences but insists to this day that it was all lies.

Watching the programme was surreal to say the least. Channel 4 claimed that it was serious exploration of teacher–pupil relationships in the age of social media, but the reconstruction of Gemma’s story was disgraceful. The actress portraying her seemed much older than her and behaved much more provocatively than she ever did. The way she was dressed didn’t ring true at all – the programme-makers had obviously seen various different pictures of Gemma and pieced them all together into something that just wasn’t her. They tried to piece it all together like a jigsaw puzzle but they put the pieces in the wrong places.

I hated the music they used, too – it was like a cheesy eighties pop video and made the whole thing seem like some tacky teenage romance, rather than a serious and responsible look at the issues of sexual relationships between teachers and their pupils. It was meant to be a documentary, but it just came over as some kind of Mills & Boon adaptation. Worst of all, Forrest was portrayed as a nice guy who was trapped in a loveless marriage and couldn’t help himself getting involved.

I was furious at the way the whole issue had been portrayed. Gemma watched it upstairs – I can only think she was too embarrassed to watch it with me and Paul in the sitting room – but I knew she was fuming about it, too, as she later wrote a number of posts about it on social media.

The following day, I wrote an official letter of complaint to Channel 4. I also spoke to my solicitor about it, but I was told that there was nothing that I could do about it unless the programme-makers had actually broken the law.

The programme-makers clearly had no interest in the real issues.
Sexting Teacher
did nothing but add to the fiction that this was some kind of modern-day Romeo and Juliet story.
They even hinted that the ‘romance’ might continue when Forrest is eventually freed from prison.

In my letter to Channel 4, I asked question after question about why the story hadn’t dealt with what actually happened – the fact that Forrest had groomed my daughter from the age of thirteen – and why they hadn’t asked any child protection organisations to comment or mentioned the teachers’ code of conduct. All of the legalities were glossed over to make way for the more salacious details, such as Gemma and Forrest having sex in a car or checking into hotels together.

I received a reply from Emma Cooper, a commissioning editor for documentaries at Channel 4. She thanked me for my comments, but said there was only so much detail that they could include in a 47-minute programme. She added that they chose the music they used because it was current at the time and apologised for any distress the programme had caused me.

She concluded by telling me that they would take my comments on board if they were to make a similar programme in the future, and wanted to assure me that the programme-makers did not set out to cause additional stress by discussing the events.

Yet again, it was a case of closing the stable door after the horse had bolted.

N
o sooner had I got through the stress of
Sexting Teachers
than I had another issue to deal with. The company I was working for was going through some big changes, introducing new procedures and technology, and I knew that there were inevitably going to be redundancies. In a way, my team and I were victims of our own success, as we had introduced the new systems that the company had implemented, and now our roles were no longer needed.

I knew I wasn’t going to be there forever, but I was still sad about the idea of leaving. I’d been with the company for 10 years and they had been wonderful employers. During this time I had made some very close friends, including Chloe and Darcee, and of course it’s where I met Paul. It had been a big part of my life.

Seven of us were called to a meeting in Milton Keynes and I was very anxious to hear what they had to say. I have
always worked really hard to provide for my children and had worked my way up through the company, so it was going to be very strange to have this safety net taken away from under me. I never took the idea of redundancy personally, though. I know it can really knock some people’s confidence, but I knew that I wasn’t losing my job because of anything performance-related.

I was offered another job, but it would have meant even longer working hours, which would have meant even less time with the children. By this point I was working full-time again and didn’t feel I was spending enough time with them as it was.

I looked carefully at the redundancy package being offered and discussed it with Paul, then decided to accept the offer. I knew it would mean stepping out into the unknown again and leaving behind the status, respect and earnings I’d been getting before, but it felt like the right thing to do and Paul’s job was safe.

My boss was really supportive and looked at other options, but my mind was made up; I needed a bit of time out. Within a matter of weeks, I had packed up my pencil case and said my goodbyes …

T
hroughout the trial and ever since, friends and family kept saying that I should write a book about what happened. So much rubbish has been written about what happened to Gemma and my family, and they were desperate for the truth to be told.

My family and friends know my opinions about speaking to the press and they all loyally kept their silence throughout the whole period. But equally, there were plenty of times when I would read something in the newspapers or hear somebody say something on the television and be itching to pick up the phone to tell them that they had got it all wrong. It was tempting, but I knew that kind of knee-jerk reaction wasn’t the right way forward.

Since the trial finished, I had been concentrating on trying to hold down my job, keeping the family together and helping Gemma find a way through what had happened, so I just didn’t
have the head-space for anything else. But shortly after I was made redundant, yet another story about Gemma appeared in the press – this time talking about how many boyfriends she’d had since Forrest – and so I decided enough is enough, this needs to stop. Even after all this time, people were still discussing my family and putting two and two together and coming up with five; I’d just had enough.

I’m so proud of my kids and the dignity that they have shown throughout all of this. They could have gone and vented to the press, but they never did. But I was concerned that people were still discussing our lives, and would continue to do so unless I spoke out myself. So one day while I was at home, I was looking at my collection of biographies and started thinking, ‘I wonder if I could do something like that?’ I was always quite good at English at school and kept diaries, so I typed the words ‘how to write a book’ into Google.

I was a bit scared by the idea of agents and writing a synopsis and so on, so I just wrote to some publishers directly. I was a bit thrown when John Blake Publishing came back to me quickly with a positive response – to be honest, I would probably have dealt with a rejection better because something like this was completely out of my comfort zone.

But less than a week later, we had met up and I had a contract for this book.

Before I signed anything, I discussed it with my children and explained why I needed to write the whole story down. I stressed that it wasn’t about Gemma, but my feelings as a mother.

Gemma understands why this book has been so important to me. Together we have come a long way in our relationship since she ran away, but I would never presume to speak on
her behalf. She is a very private person and needs to deal with things in her own time and on her own terms. The only thing I can do for her is to be there for her whenever she needs me, on good days and bad days.

Early on, she and I put a strategy in place where I would say to her, ‘Give me an emotion’. I was at such a loss as to how to handle the situation, it was my way of getting her to tell me how she was feeling without us having to get into some long, awkward discussion about every single thought going through her head. She would say things like, ‘Annoyance, exhaustion, anger, frustration’. It really helped us both communicate when she first came back from France.

We have moved on from that now, but it is still very important for me to allow Gemma to tell her own story on her own terms. She is a child who is the victim of a sexual offence, and she has to learn how to get on with the rest of her life. And she is doing brilliantly. She has a lovely boyfriend whom we have welcomed into the family and she is really moving forward with her life.

Every so often, something will be written in the papers about what happened to Gemma and we will discuss it, but now it is more important for us all to try and get on with our lives.

There is no textbook on how to deal with a situation like ours. It has been like having to learn a whole new language. I have had to find out about arrest warrants, judicial processes, child safeguarding policy, aftercare for victims of grooming … the list goes on and on.

I will never be able to get over the guilt that I feel. I can’t stop feeling like I’m the worst mum in the world for letting this happen to Gemma. From the moment I found out what had been going on, it has been like walking down a dark path,
trying desperately to find a light and work out how to do the right thing by her.

Something good has to come out of all of this. I have an overwhelming desire to try and give something back after the wonderful way that people have helped me over the last couple of years. What happened to my family can happen to anyone, and I won’t rest until I can do something positive about it.

We are not over it by any means, but we are in a good place.

T
hroughout this book, I have said time and time again that my family and I just want things to get back to normal. The truth of the matter is that for us life will never be normal again. Everything changed the moment that Jeremy Forrest stole my daughter from us, and we all have to live with this for the rest of our lives.

I will always be known as ‘the mother of the Runaway Schoolgirl’. I have become so used to answering the same questions again and again that the answers practically roll off my tongue before the person finishes speaking. ‘Is she back living with you?’, ‘Does she still love him?’, ‘How is she coping?’, ‘What is she doing now?’

I know that people are interested in Gemma for a number of different reasons. Most people genuinely care; some are curious about whether what was written in the press was accurate while others talk to me as if I’m some sort of celebrity.

I am a mum first and foremost, and I will always be. My children are my pride and joy; I love them unconditionally. I am not a celebrity, nor am I Mary Poppins. I’m not perfect and I know that I sometimes get things wrong. But anyone who meets my children always says what a joy they are, how polite, well-spoken and hardworking they are. They are intelligent and full of compassion. People tell me that they are a credit to me. As I live with the guilt and try to come to terms with what happened, this is what gets me through.

If you are still wondering whether Jeremy Forrest is a sex offender, or whether this is really a love story, ask yourself these questions:

What would you do if your fourteen-year-old daughter came home from school and said: ‘Mum, guess what? I have a new boyfriend and he’s my maths teacher.’ Would you accept it?

How would you like the idea of your daughter receiving naked pictures of her teacher?

Would you be OK about sending your daughter off to school and having one of her teachers look at her in a sexual way, kissing her and treating her as their ‘favourite’?

Would you accept your child being taken abroad without your consent, when you know that the person your child is with is unstable and is placing their life in danger?

Would you accept that your child has been made to lie, live on their nerves with immense stress, and harbour secrets that they have been told they cannot share?

Would you be happy to know that your child’s teacher has been writing songs using words like ‘heroin’ to describe the feelings they have for them?

Would you be OK knowing that your child’s teacher is
privately messaging them via social media without your knowledge and using sexual references?

Would you forgive the teacher who makes you believe that your child is ‘a bit of a pain’ and lies about your child, making you truly believe he is telling the truth? After all, he
is
the teacher.

If you answer no to these questions, then, like me, you will now understand that Jeremy Forrest is a sex offender and this was never a love story.

But if you answered yes to any of these questions, then you have a very different idea of parenting to me.