The Runaway Schoolgirl (18 page)

P
aul and I had been due to get married at the end of June 2013. We had planned to have the party in a beautiful village in Somerset called Dunster, where Paul had grown up and gone to school. With its thatched roofs and pretty higgledy-piggledy streets, it really is chocolate-box pretty and the perfect setting for a country wedding.

We had got quite far down the line with all the arrangements – I had even bought the table centrepieces – but we knew that we had to put everything on hold once we found out that the trial was definitely going ahead. I was really disappointed, but I knew it was for the best. We would just have to wait until the trial was over and done with.

By the time the trial came to an end, though, we just didn’t feel like we were in a place to celebrate anything. Weddings are meant to be about family and everyone coming together in
happiness, but our family was so fractured and there was still so much hurt between us.

Relations between Paul and I were sometimes strained. It was a very difficult time for us. He used to get annoyed with me that I would allow Gemma to speak to me the way that she did and that I let her have the upper hand, but I was so worried that she would run away again. I knew I was treating Gemma differently to her brothers and sisters, but I didn’t know how else to behave with her.

I got a lot of help and advice through organisations such as Enough Abuse and the NSPCC. At the end of the trial, with the case now closed, the police said their goodbyes, and the social services told us that we wouldn’t need them anymore. With so many of my support networks slipping away, I felt like I was falling without a parachute. It was a very tough time for all of us. I tried my best to keep my head down and do what I thought felt right.

Then, in August, the most fantastic thing happened – Gemma got her exam results and it turned out that she had done incredibly well! I was over the moon, as I’d had no expectations at all. I have always told my children that all they can do is try their best, but I had assumed that with all the pressure that she was under – and the fact that some of her exams would be taking place at the same time as the trial itself – that Gemma would have to do re-takes. Instead, she aced all of them!

Over the course of the summer, we registered a new temporary name for Gemma, as we didn’t want her to be recognised as ‘that runaway schoolgirl’ when she began at her new college in the autumn. I had changed the children’s names before when I married Max, so I knew that it was a relatively
straightforward process and I met with the college’s head of student services to explain the situation.

Gemma’s first few weeks at her new college went very smoothly. I had been slightly concerned that she was taking on too much, as she had decided to study for four A-levels, but she seemed to be doing really well. By November, though, it became clear that she was struggling with the workload.

We arranged a meeting with all of the relevant heads of department. Gemma had decided that she wanted to drop two subjects, which made sense to me after everything she had been through. After all, she could always take on further subjects when she felt more able.

When I got to the meeting, though, one of her tutors seemed to really take against me. I tried to explain the situation, and his response was along the lines of, ‘You can’t use that as an excuse’. Luckily, Vikkie, the head of student services, stepped in and said that she didn’t think it would be an issue.

The matter was quickly resolved – for the moment anyway …

I
n September 2013, I was interviewed as part of the serious case review that had been set up by the East Sussex Local Safeguarding Children Board.

I had known for a while that I would be involved, but I was still very anxious about it. I knew that it would be a harrowing experience for me to have to remember all the details of what went on, but I also knew that the review might help me finally get some answers about why Kennedy High School had not done anything to prevent Forrest abusing my daughter.

Before the trial took place, I had received a letter from the man who would be writing the report, Kevin Harrington, inviting me to be interviewed. Kevin is an eminent, independent expert on health and social care, who has written a number of other serious case reviews over the years, including one concerning Tia Sharp, the twelve-year-old girl who was
murdered by a former boyfriend of her mother’s in August 2012. Gemma was also contacted and asked if she would like to contribute to the report, but she didn’t want to know. As far as she was concerned, it was over and done with; she just wanted to move on. I totally understood – she’d had enough of what everyone was saying about it and I didn’t blame her for taking that attitude.

Come the day of the interview, I was really worried about having to dredge over everything again. I hated the idea of being in the spotlight again and dreaded all the questions that might be going through their minds. Would they be wondering why I didn’t know what had been going on? Once again, I felt like the worst mum in the world.

The interview took place at the offices of the Department of Child Services in Eastbourne and was conducted by Kevin Harrington and a representative from the health service. It lasted a good couple of hours and, despite feeling nervous about it, it felt good to get everything off my chest. There had been so much negative press and conjecture, I was grateful to be given the opportunity to put the record straight.

I told them everything I knew about the circumstances leading up to Gemma’s disappearance. There was so much I wanted to tell them and it felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. They just let me talk and talk.

One of the subjects that came up was Gemma’s health, and again I was asked about her so-called bulimia and self-harming issues. I made a point of talking about Gemma’s existing health issues and I noticed the two of them nodding to each other. I felt that they could see I was telling the truth. It was so reassuring to know that my side of the story was being taken on board.

At the end of the interview I thanked them and they told me that what I had said tallied with their own information. Afterwards, I remember standing at the top of the stairs outside the office and taking a long, deep breath. After all this time thinking I must be the world’s worst mum, it looked like I would finally be vindicated.

The review was due to be published before the end of the year and so it would be a while yet before I would hear its conclusions. In the meantime, with a new term at school for Maddie and Alfie, Gemma at college and little Lilly at nursery, it was all back to normal for us at home.

Of course, I say ‘normal’, but the truth was I was still struggling to hold it all together. I continued to find it incredibly draining working full-time, looking after Paul and the kids, and dealing with Gemma’s moods. To be honest I didn’t have the time to fit in counselling for myself but I didn’t hold it against anyone – there was just too much going on.

I
n November 2013, one of my best friends Chloe moved to Australia as she had a fantastic new job. I was heartbroken that she was going to live so far away, especially after what we had been through together. She had been an absolute rock throughout the whole of the Forrest saga, and I honestly do not think I would have got through it without her. I was dreading saying goodbye.

We had worked at the same company for many years, so I volunteered to give her a great send-off. I booked a very grand country hotel and arranged an amazing black-tie party for around 65 guests. We really pushed the boat out – the hotel had stunning grounds and we had a big hog roast and a disco. It was such a great evening, the first in an awfully long time that I could remember laughing and having fun, but I kept on bursting into tears as well. Chloe had been the best friend that anyone could ever dream of.

I couldn’t bear the thought of her leaving. She kept saying, ‘I’m not dead, you know! We still have the phone and Skype, and you can always come and visit.’ But it still felt like I was losing my right arm. On the day she left, we kept in contact all the way to the airport, and I even tracked her flight online to make sure she landed safely.

She was right, of course; we do still speak to each other regularly. I worry, though, that I will never be able to repay her for all the help, time, love and support she gave me. Thank you just doesn’t even begin to cover it.

And there were more goodbyes to come. Mum and my sister Charlotte had decided to move up to Derbyshire to live near my other sister Annette, and were planning to start a new business up there. Gemma had previously been so close to the pair of them, and it broke my heart to see the way they had grown further and further apart since the trial.

I was gutted that they were moving. It felt as if all these layers of support that I’d had before were just dissolving around me. First it had been the police and Sarah the social worker, then Chloe, Mum and Charlotte. Then, shortly afterwards, I found out that Vikkie from the college would also be leaving. I felt so very alone.

I didn’t feel I could talk to anyone at home about it; I didn’t want to burden Paul with any more of my woes. He had been so wonderful these past months and I knew I had to try to hold things together at home. I was a mum in the morning, a manager during the day, then a mum again in the evening, and I didn’t feel I could really be vocal about how I was feeling. The only time when I could really let go was when I was in the car on the way to and from work. I remember one time I had to pull over as I was crying so much: I felt so empty, life was such a struggle.

The situation with Gemma was extremely challenging at times. She still didn’t want to have anything to do with our extended family. When they would come round to visit, I would try to force the issue and make her spend time with them. I know that she thought they were angry with her, but I wanted to make her see that nobody blamed her for any of this.

In November, a little while after our meeting with her tutors, Gemma decided that she wanted to leave college. She really wasn’t enjoying it there and wanted to try and get an apprenticeship in graphic design.

I was concerned about it, but I knew that she would make sure she had something lined up before she left. I’ve never put any pressure on Gemma to achieve high grades or get a flashy job, but she has always been very ambitious and worked hard. She very quickly lined up an apprenticeship and had started work within weeks of leaving college. It underlined how determined she was.

Shortly after this, Lee asked me if I would mind if he moved in with his girlfriend Natalie. I was absolutely delighted. Natalie is a beautiful young woman and I couldn’t wish for anyone better for him. I thought it was so sweet that he asked me, as he obviously knew that it was another big life stage for me to have to face. They were only going to be five minutes away, so I knew I would still see them all the time, and I was so happy for them to take the next step.

Meanwhile, there was Christmas to look forward to. There were going to be fewer of us than ever this Christmas Day. It was Max’s year to have Maddie and Alfie staying with him, and Lee was going to be at Natalie’s parents, so it would just be me, Paul, Gemma and Lilly at home. It was certainly going to be much quieter than usual.

At that stage, my relationship with Gemma was very much on her terms. I never questioned her when she was distant from us, as I had learned that if I put any pressure on her she just wouldn’t speak to us at all. Occasionally, though, she would open up to me, and it was around this time that she told me that she had met with Forrest’s parents. Gemma knew I wouldn’t have been happy about her doing that – I felt that for all the time the Forrests were staying in contact with her, they were just adding to the guilt that she felt about the whole situation – but I didn’t give her a hard time about it or push her away.

I understand that Forrest’s parents had to adapt to having a son in prison – I can’t imagine what it must be like not being able to see your child or contact them whenever you want to. But having Gemma see their grief firsthand was just prolonging the damage to her that their son had already caused.

I
n December 2013, a week or so before the serious case review was due to be published, I was invited to a meeting with Kevin Harrington and one of his colleagues. I asked for Paul and Gemma to be allowed to come along, too, and was so relieved when Gemma said that she would like to be there because it meant that she would be able to hear the information directly and there would be no doubt about what was said.

Previously, when I had relayed information from the police to Gemma before the trial, she had accused me of only telling her half the story, and it had caused a lot of heartache for the pair of us. I had learned that if there was anything significant regarding the case that she needed to be told about, it was better to get the person responsible to tell her directly rather than have me relay information. That way, she could be certain she got all the facts.

The meeting was taking place in order to inform us of the top-line messages that would be appearing in Kevin Harrington’s report, so that there would be no nasty shocks for us when it was officially published. On the morning we were due to meet, I was my usual nervous self.

Now, finally, I would be hearing the truth about what the school should have done to stop what happened.

As before, we all met up at the offices of the Department of Child Services in Eastbourne, and I could see straight away that Kevin Harrington was intrigued to meet Gemma. Given that he knew so much about her, it was only natural that he would be curious to meet her face to face. I suppose it was like fitting the final piece into a jigsaw puzzle – he knew so much about her before, but meeting her in person completed the picture.

We all sat down and eagerly awaited the findings. One by one, a damning list of failures was outlined to us.

In summary, the report found the following:

• Kennedy High School had been protecting Forrest, not Gemma, and treated him as the victim rather than her.
  
• The school had child safeguarding policies in place, but teachers failed on several occasions to act upon them.
  
• The school failed to notify the correct authorities in the first instance and repeatedly dismissed concerns raised by other pupils.
  
• School staff never spoke to Gemma in a way that was supportive.
  
• The school failed to update me as a parent and denied me the opportunity to help Gemma.
  

It was one disgraceful revelation after another. The report found that staff at the school had repeatedly dismissed evidence from pupils revealing that Forrest might be an abuser and adopted instead a ‘default position’ of ‘intuitively supporting him as a colleague’ and viewing him as ‘the victim’.

They had effectively put Forrest’s needs first and had completely failed to follow the correct procedures. Forrest had been spoken to on numerous occasions by various members of staff, and yet the situation had been allowed to continue.

Also – and this information was key to me – the report shed some light on the school’s claims that they had contacted me seven times. Forrest’s sister had also mentioned this when she had been interviewed on TV, but I knew this to be untrue.

The report revealed that, while the school claimed to have left me several messages, their phone logs proved that they didn’t stay on the line long enough to hear my answerphone message and leave their own details. The log showed that each of the calls was only 30 seconds long, yet my answerphone message at the time was 28 seconds long, so they would have needed to have talked pretty damn fast to have left a message.

Yes, they called me – and yes, I subsequently returned their calls – but I never ignored seven messages. Like any other person, I may miss calls or forget to return messages in the first instance, but I would never have ignored seven messages, especially when they were about one of my children.

If the school believed that there was something going on to be concerned about, they should have left full messages for me and notified the appropriate authorities as soon as the rumours started.

The whole time that we were hearing this information, Gemma just sat there in silence, nodding and taking it all
in. I wouldn’t have wished the situation on my worst enemy, but I breathed a sigh of relief that finally we were getting the answers that we needed.

I had always assumed my daughter would be safe while she was at school. How wrong I was! As Kevin Harrington’s report showed, they had failed Gemma miserably. It was inexcusable.

Back at home after the meeting, I called my close family and friends to tell them about the report’s findings. Like me, they were all relieved to hear that everything was going to be out in the open, but they too were disgusted that the school hadn’t done a proper job of protecting Gemma. In a way, I suppose I had hoped that it wasn’t the school’s fault and that everything that had happened was down to Forrest and his twisted needs alone, but it turned out that the school was at the heart of the problem.

Gemma was very quiet and didn’t want to talk about it. She needed time to process the information. As hard as that was for me, I had to take a step back. She knew I would always be there for her if ever she wanted to talk about it.

A couple of days later, Douglas Sinclair, the head of child safeguarding in East Sussex, got in touch to see how we were all feeling about the report. He talked me through the process of how it would be released and how the press might pick up on it. Already he had some interview requests from some of the national newspapers, but I told him that I didn’t want to comment.

Douglas added that he would arrange for the report to be sent to me on the morning of its publication, so that I would have a chance to read all 46 pages of it in full in advance of its release.

Come the morning of Monday, 16 December, I was dreading looking out of the window and seeing hordes of reporters again. Thankfully, there was nobody there and everyone went off to school and work as normal. I had a day off in case there were any unexpected repercussions from the report and I kept an eye on the television for when it hit the local and national news.

Mr Worship, the executive head of Kennedy High School, appeared on the early evening news on ITV to talk about the report and it seemed to me as if he was just reading a script. After a blink-and-you’d-miss-it apology, he went on about how the school had made great steps to change its safeguarding policies. The whole thing was just pathetic and I was furious that he was allowed to use this damning serious case review as some kind of PR stunt for the school.

But the reporter on the local BBC News programme gave him a much harder time than her counterpart on ITV and didn’t allow him to stick to his script about how great the school was now. She asked him precisely the sort of questions that I wanted answers to. Why was it allowed to happen in the first place, and why was it permitted to go on for so long?

He grudgingly admitted the school’s failings, but was also quick to point out that the police and social services had also been criticised for their part in the whole sorry affair. This was true, but the report’s criticisms of them were far more minor, as he well knew.

A week or so later, I heard from Douglas Sinclair again, saying that Mr Worship wanted to write me a letter. When the letter arrived, once again he glossed over an apology and wrote about all the steps that the school had taken to improve their safeguarding policy. Like I was interested! Don’t get me wrong, I would never want what happened to Gemma to
happen to anyone else, but I would have appreciated more than just a three-line apology. I wanted him to really focus on the damage that had been done and the failings of his school.

I discussed the contents of the letter with Douglas Sinclair, who told me that Mr Worship had been in touch with him again and would now like to write to Gemma. I said he could – on condition that he wasn’t to go on about how great the school was now. Gemma is not stupid, she would have known he had only made all of these improvements as a result of what had happened to her.

Luckily, when his letter arrived, Mr Worship had followed my request and Gemma received a full apology.