The Rookie (Racing On The Edge #7) (33 page)

As the crowd mingled and Easton stood twenty feet away talking to Kyle, Rager bumped my shoulder, his beer tipped my direction. “You happy?”

Was I?

Yeah, I was.

Looking at him, I smiled. “I am…”

He winked, a small tug at his lips made me wonder if it hurt him to hear that. “That’s all I care about then.”

“Is everything between us going to be awkward now?” I sighed not knowing how to act around him.

“Why, because I’ve seen you naked and kissed your boobies?” he raised his eyebrows, amused with himself.

I shoved his shoulder glaring but my laugh couldn’t be helped. “You know what I mean.”

“Is it awkward now?” His stare found mine again, so fucking intense and bright. Why does he do that? Does he know what it does?

“A little.”

“No, awkward would be if I kissed you in front of everyone.”

Yeah, he knows exactly what it does.

“You wouldn’t.” I felt my heart thud a little faster knowing he wasn’t joking. I bet if I asked him to right now, he just might. But I won’t.

“I might…” he turned and looked at me, his eyes burning.

“Don’t.” I put my hand on his chest and pushed him back a little, the thudding under my palm confirmed he still felt something, this still gave him that same rush. And with Rager, I wondered how much of it was just the rush, the feeling he got being with me or wanting to be. He was a mystery to me. I would never know, though he told me, how much of what he said he felt was true. What if I was with him and then it was over? He had what he wanted, the race he never got a chance to run.

For me, that wasn’t something I could take a chance on. And I didn’t want to. I would always love Rager in ways I can never explain, but it wasn’t enough to make me leave Easton.

I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate but Rager hugged me. His arms tightened around me, his lips at my ear. “He fucks up again and I’ll be waiting. Let that be a reminder for him to treat you right. And I’ll tell him that if I see him again.”

“He knows.” I laughed pulling back. “And eventually you’ll move on.” My hands slipped off his shoulders as I put a foot of distance between us.

“No.” he said, with a sudden seriousness. It was as if he tried, everyday, but couldn’t. “I won’t. Remember Williams Grove?”

Of course he remembered that. He’s my dusty dirt track feeling, the slow kissing and my innocence gone only for him to promise under a sticky night that he would always be mine.

“Okay, say I’m not with him in five years. You’ll still be afraid of my dad, Rager. You can’t blame me never giving us a chance all on me. You said no, remember?”

“I do.” He smiled, his mood easing back into what it was before, playful. “If you weren’t married, and wanted me, then I would tell your dad what my intentions were. If he said no, I’d quit.”

This time I laughed, shaking my head. “You’re full of shit. You wouldn’t quit for me.”

Rager squinted at me hiding his emotion. “I would.”

He walked away after that as Easton approached me. They exchanged a head nod and funny enough, Rager congratulated him on his championships. He was a good guy, I knew that.

When he got to me, we both watched Rager walk outside.

Easton watched as the door closed behind him and then looked at me. “He’s leaning on me fucking up, isn’t he?”

“Should I lie?”

He laughed, amusement returning. “Don’t answer that.”

I knew next year wouldn’t be easy but I’d made the decision to travel with JAR Racing again, not as much, but enough that I could still be around my family and be with Easton. He understood. I promised to be there for him every Sunday but during the week I wanted to catch as many races as I could with my family and help them. He finally understood that my heart was in two places and always would be with him, and my family. I needed them both.

Easton was quiet and then asked, “It’s not going to be easy for me next year with you around him more often.” I turned to him. “I know. But…you have to trust me.”

“I will.”

Silly Season – This is the months before the regular season. It runs from December to mid-February. It can sometimes be frantic for teams which is why they refer to it as the silly season.

Since my dad’s proposal at the party we threw for mom, Emma and Alley had been planning their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary where they were going to renew their vows.

Naturally they decided to have the wedding at the house on Summit Lake which meant the entire family had to fly out there the day before.

Easton and I sat on the plane back to Washington with Lexi, Brody, Casten, Hayden and Gray, flying commercial and hating it. I was a lot like my dad in that manner. Crowds weren’t my thing. Easton did good though and kept me distracted by talking to me.

After the holidays I told Easton I wanted to move closer to my family and be on my parent’s property.

“Please tell me we’re not living next to Tommy?” he asked, giving me a look that spoke of his nervousness.

I laughed closing the magazine in front of me. “No, that’s Casten. We’d be next to Spencer and Alley.”

Easton looked at me, then smiled. “I can deal with that if you want.”

It seemed finally we were agreeing on something. Well, sort of.

The conversation was hit and miss on the plane, sometimes we’d talk, other times we were both quiet when Easton asked me if I had given any thought to what I talked about earlier in the week. Which was having my breasts removed as a precaution.

After my mom got breast cancer she talked to me about my risks. Breast cancer unfortunately ran in our family. Mom was doing great now and in remission. That’s when it came to what I would do. I wanted to have a mastectomy. I didn’t want the risk of knowing I might get cancer and constantly be wondering if I was going to get it.

Easton didn’t want to think about it but he understood what I was feeling.

He smiled at Gray who crawled over four people, kicked me in the face and sat on Easton’s lap only to pull his hair.

“It’s my decision.” By the look on his face, he knew that. He wasn’t trying to talk me out of it. I knew that much.

“I know, but what about when we have kids?” Adjusting his hold on Gray, he looked from her to me.

“What about it?” When I was close enough, Gray grabbed a handful of my hair too and held our heads together. “What the hell, Gray? Stop doing that.”

Hayden laughed from across the aisle. “She must get that from Casten. He’s a hair puller.”

Easton started laughing, trying to bury his laughter in my shoulder. When he was able to act like an adult again, he looked at me. “Breast feeding.” He said. “If you have them removed, what happens then?”

“I’ll give the baby formula like millions of other mothers do. And we’ve been trying for a while and it hasn’t happened. It might not. We could always kidnap one of my brother’s kids. He’s got like ten.”

“He has three.” He gave me a funny look. “And it’s been one month. That’s not a long time.”

“Same difference.” I looked over my shoulder at the bathroom. “Wanna try now?”

“Fuck yes, I want to.” He handed Gray over to Casten and rushed to the bathroom.

I started giggling as I tried to pretend I wasn’t following my husband to the bathroom, but I was.

I wanted to have kids. For the first time in my life, maybe because Lexi was pregnant and glowing, I wanted to have a baby. Only problem was now that Easton and I were trying, it wasn’t happening. Given it had only been a month, I was very much a now or never type of person whether I wanted to be or not.

I’m not sure how but we managed to fit inside the tiny bathroom together. I had my leg propped up on the toilet and my ass in the sink. My hands ran over Easton’s shoulders and up to his jaw covered in a dark beard now. He looked at me, honey brown melting me. I brought his lips to mine and it was about the only romantic moment in all of this.

We were in a bathroom on a plane. Not exactly swoon worthy. But what was worse was my brother. Yes, my brother.

Easton had gotten his jeans down just enough and mine around one ankle when Casten tapped on the door and whispered. “I have to pee.”

Easton laughed, shaking his head against my shoulder. “There’s another bathroom.”

It sounded like Casten’s forehead hit the door. “It’s being used.”

“So bother them.”

I took my palms and made Easton look at me. “Stop talking to him. You’re supposed to be having sex with me.”

“Well he’s distracting me.”

I couldn’t understand how he could be having this conversation. His dick was in me and he’s talking calmly to my brother outside the door?

That’s just weird.

I started to move like I was going to stop when his hands flew to my hips. “Don’t you dare.” He warned. It was sexy the way he demanded that this would continue so we did. Casten left us alone for maybe a minute when I could tell he had his lips at the door trying to talk through the door. “I really have to pee…”

“Go away!” I smacked my fist against the door. Of course Easton started laughing. “And you, pay attention.”

“I’m trying.” Easton kissed me again, trying to block my brother out.

“What are you guys doing in there? That bathroom is only single person occupancy and I’m positive you’re violating FAA rules or some shit. And I have to pee.” The crazy part about all of this was he was whispering this to us like he was fucking Jiminy Cricket sitting on our shoulders.

“Do you even know what FAA stands for, Casten? I’m pretty sure it means “Fuck on Alliance Airlines.’ In which case we’re doing exactly what the acronym stands for.”

I couldn’t believe this shit. It was unreal the conversation they were having and to top it off, Easton was still hard. Not moving, but still hard.

“You know,” Casten whispered. “I don’t want to cause alarm here but I’m sure that I’ve identified the air marshal on board. Should I get him to open the door?”

I grabbed Easton’s face again and made him look at me. “Are you fucking kidding me right now? Stop. Talking. To. Him.”

“He started it!” Easton had lost control of the conversation and he knew it. “Go ahead. Get the air marshal and I’ll tell him you’re a mule who swallowed some illegal drugs and they need to perform a cavity search.”

“Oh please. I can talk my way out of anything.”

I smacked Easton in the face. “Stop engaging him. You’re making it worse!”

Easton paid me no mind. “You know, I’ve got something you can smoke, asshole.”

“Whip it out, big boy.”

Easton was tempted. I knew he was. He was just about to respond when I heard commotion outside the door and prayed he finally left but, no, instead the fucking Cookie Monster was rearing its ugly head. “The stewardess is coming by with the cart.” His voice was suddenly rushed. “Can I have your pretzels and drinks?”

“Sir…you need to take your seat.”

Easton and I both looked at each other and panicked a little. As if arguing with my brother hadn’t ruined the mood, this ‘bathroom flight’ never got off the tarmac because of Casten and his stupid comments. Talk about ruining the mood.

“I have to pee and there’s two people in there press forging.”

“Press forging?” She asked.

Casten just chuckled, really loud and I’m sure made a gesture that wasn’t appropriate because I heard the stewardess gasp.

That. Fucking. Jerk.

Talk about the walk of shame?

Being escorted to our seats by the stewardess with Casten and the Cheshire Cat fucking grin on his face. Every person on the flight saw us and I just knew that they all knew what happened. I sat fuming at my brother when he looked at me, completely serious and said, “See…I don’t think the mile high club is accepting new members. You’re shit out of luck.”

“Well, the douchebag club of America has a few openings, Casten, and I’m nominating you.” I turned away from him before I lost my shit on this plane and had to be physically restrained. There are three things I’m utterly sure of at this moment. I will never fly commercial again. My brother is the biggest asshole there is and karma is one motherfucking bitch!