The Promises We Keep (Made for Love Book 1) (87 page)

As if God Himself wished to swoop in and give me a hug, Avery comes into my room and crawls into bed next to me. Without a word, she wraps her arms around me and snuggles really close. We both sigh as I return her affection and I thank the Lord for my other half, yet again. I wonder if this moment was meant to be
—
like it's finally time I open up to someone about all that
’
s in my head. Maybe if I get it out, I'll be able to see things more clearly.

“
How was yoga?
”
she asks, breaking the silence.

“
It was okay. Not as satisfying as I hoped it would be.
”

“
Hmm,
”
she hums distractedly. I can tell by her response that what I said went in one ear and out the other and I wonder what she
’
s thinking.
“
I have to tell you something.
”

My heart rate picks up a notch at the tone of her voice. Whatever
something
is doesn't sound good.
She's holding onto a secret, too
. Maybe we're both meant to come clean right now.
“
I have to tell you something, too. You first. What is it?
”
She sits up and sweeps her hair behind her ears, avoiding my gaze. I wait a couple seconds and when she doesn
’
t say anything, I get antsy.
“
AJ, spit it out.
”

“
I did something bad. I mean, I didn't mean to. Well, I guess I did. Either way
—”
she huffs out a breath as she fidgets with the ends of her hair.

When I see her eyes fill with tears I get even more anxious and I sit up, folding my legs underneath me.
“
What is it, Ave?
”

“
On Saturday, Grayson got a birthday card from his mom.
”

My eyes open wide in surprise. I wasn't expecting to hear that. I don't know much about Gray's childhood, because he doesn't like to talk about it, but I know that his mom left when he was five and never came back.
“
You didn't tell me that,
”
is all I can manage to say.

“
Yeah, well, he freaked out and threw it away without opening it. I've never seen him so upset.
”

“
But he seemed just fine at Cooper
’
s,
”
I murmur, remembering the two of them together all night.
“
Better than fine, actually. Has that changed?
”

“
No. But...he thinks I got rid of the card.
”
My jaw drops as I instantly understand her meaning.
“
I opened it,
”
she continues. I
’
ve never seen her look so guilty in my life.
“
She wrote him a letter.
”

“
What did it say?
”

“
I can't tell you,
”
she whispers. I know when a tear runs down her cheek that she's holding back a cry that's robbed her of her voice.

“
Of course,
”
I mutter, shaking my head at myself.
“
Grayson should be the first to know.
”

“
Right. Exactly!
”
she chokes.
“
Except he's not. I am! And when he finds out
—”

“
Oh.
”

“
I don't know how this turned into a big, fat, scary lie. It just did! And now I don't know what to do.
”

“
You have to tell him.
”

“
What if he never trusts me again?
”

“
Oh, AJ.
”
I reach out and take hold of both of her shoulders, squeezing gently in an attempt to offer some comfort.
“
I know it
’
s going to be hard and he'll probably be upset, but he loves you. Once you explain yourself, he'll know that you didn't do it to hurt him.
”
I stop myself when I realize I don
’
t know why she did it at all.
“
Why
did
you read it?
”

“
Just in case it was nothing,
”
she says, drying her cheeks. It
’
s futile, as more tears spill from her eyes.
“
I would have thrown it away if it was nothing. But, Addie, it's the
opposite
of
nothing
.
”

“
Then you have two very good reasons to tell him. You need to eradicate the lie and he needs to know about
…
the opposite of nothing
.
”

She looks so torn and scared that I almost wish I could break the news for her.
Almost
. I push myself up on my knees and wrap my arms around her; she rests against me as she cries.
“
Have you ever lied to Hammy?
”

“
No.
”
I feel guilty saying it, but it's true.

“
So it's official. I suck as a girlfriend.
”

“
Hey, just because I've never lied to him doesn't mean I was the perfect girlfriend. Everyone makes mistakes and relationships aren't easy. You just have to be honest with him. You won
’
t know how to do damage control until you actually talk to him. Which, by the way, when are you going to do that?
”

“
I don
’
t know,
”
she mutters lamely.

“
What about right now?
”

She gasps as she pulls away from me.
“
I
—
I
—
I can
’
t. Didn
’
t you say you had something to tell me, too?
”

I cough out a laugh. It
’
s not that I
’
m amused by her statement, it
’
s more that I
’
m amused that I thought
I
had problems. Compared to this, I don
’
t. That kiss is plaguing me because I'm reading into it, which is actually really ridiculous seeing as how I know Beck and I trust him and that matters more than what I don't know about him and Logan. The
and
is not glue. Besides, she's known him for four months. I've been his
love
for five years. Whatever happens between Beck and I, it
’
s not going to get figured out today
—
or even tomorrow. All things considered, my situation pales in comparison to Avery's.
“
It
’
s nothing, Ave. You need to talk to him.
”

“
What if he
’
s not home?
”

“
What if he
is?
”
I counter. Her shoulders slump in defeat.
“
AJ, the sooner you do this, the better. You can
’
t carry this around. It
’
s not good for you, it
’
s not good for him, it
’
s not good for your relationship. Just go downstairs.
”
As I deliver my pep-talk, I dry her cheeks and wipe away the smudges of mascara that culminated under her eyes.
“
Just take deep breaths, remember that he loves you and you
’
ll be fine.
”

Following my instruction, she inhales deeply and exhales slowly.
“
You
’
ll be here when I get back?
”

“
Promise.
”

The last time I saw Sonny, my lie by omission was smaller. On Sunday, I
had
the letter but I hadn
’
t decided what to do with it yet. Yesterday, after I decided to open it, I didn
’
t get to see him at all, which made it the worst Monday ever. It wasn
’
t just that I had unveiled such a horrible truth, but it was also the first day in
months
that we hadn
’
t seen each other. That being said, as I stand waiting for someone to open the front door to the boys
’
apartment, I
’
m kind of hoping that he
’
s not inside.

I suck in a breath, hiding the yellow envelope behind my back, when Jack opens the door.
“
Hey, Little Red, what
’
s up?
”
He steps aside, indicating that I can come in, and continues speaking before I can muster the will to utter a single word.
“
Big Red
’
s not here. You
’
re more than welcome to hang.
”

Without thinking, I sigh in relief.
I hope that he didn
’
t notice
.
“
No. It
’
s okay. I just
—”

“
Thank God,
”
I hear him as he approaches and I jump, twisting toward the sound of his voice.
“
I thought I might go crazy if I didn
’
t get to see you today.
”
Sonny has me cradled against his chest, one arm around my back and the other under my bent knees, within a blink of an eye. I wrap my arms around his neck, my eyes flickering from the letter in my hands to the grin on his face. For a moment, I
’
m distracted by his barley-there-dimples that I love so much. It only takes a second, though, before the weight of what I
’
m about to do grows heavier and not even his handsome face can make me feel better.

“
Hi,
”
I manage as he carries me inside.

“
Hi, sweetheart.
”
He kisses me on the cheek before turning to address Jackson over his shoulder.
“
Thanks, Davis.
”
I can tell they
’
ve been spending more and more time on the field as they are referring to each other by their first names less and less.
“
Ave?
”

“
Hmm?
”
I
’
m jolted back into the moment at the sound of my name.

“
I asked you how your day was?
”

“
Oh. Um. It was okay. Yours?
”

“
It just got a whole lot better.
”

His words make me want to cry.
I don
’
t know if I can do this
…
When he sets me down, he takes off his backpack and discards it at the foot of his bed. I forget about the bright yellow envelope that I
’
m clutching in my right hand. That is, until he notices and I watch as the smile on his face disappears instantly.
Guess I
’
m doing this
…