The Promises We Keep (Made for Love Book 1) (128 page)

January 2006

Trevor
—
19

This is a hell of a way to spend my birthday. Saying goodbye to my brother. No
—
not just my brother. My father. My best friend. My partner in crime. My wingman.

Then again
—
I guess here, now, he
’
s more than that. He
’
s also a solider. A marine. A man who has been called to serve our country in the war zone of Iraq. I should be proud. I should be brave; he
’
s earned his right to go. I just don
’
t have the capacity to feel those things right now. Maybe tomorrow. Or the next day. Currently, I
’
m just afraid. I
’
ve never been without him. Not like this.

I have to keep reminding myself that this is what he wants. Something that he
’
s worked for. When 9/11 happened, he was only sixteen
—
but even then he knew that he wanted to enlist. It was never a question of which branch he would join. Our dad was a marine. Not that we ever got the chance to know him.

To us, mom and dad were just pretty faces in a picture frame. Some asshole driving drunk robbed us of our chance to share any sort of life with them. I was one. Rett was three. Our loss hasn
’
t really felt like a
loss
in a long time, more like an entire life in an alternate reality that we will never know. We
’
ve always had Grams, though. She raised us the best that she could, which was pretty damn good if you ask me. Even still, Rett wouldn
’
t leave me while I was in school. He wanted to stick around and make sure I graduated. As soon as I did, he started chasing his dreams.

We followed him. Crystal and me.

College was never really something I aimed for as I trudged my way through high school. Grams has been trying to convince me to give it a shot for a couple years now, but I hate the idea so much it makes me sick. I can
’
t imagine throwing money at an institution I abhor
—
and for what? A piece of paper that says I endured four more years of lectures, homework, and tests?
Pass
. I
’
m an artist. I don
’
t need school. What I need is to get my foot in the door. One day, I want to own my own tattoo parlor
—
but I know I have to get some experience under my belt first. Over the last six months, I
’
ve been doing just that. I
’
ve got a chair at a shop in town. Lucky for me, my big brother believes in my dreams even more than I do. When I said I wanted to follow him to California, he helped me pack.

As soon as Crystal caught wind that I was moving, she insisted that she come too. She said that it would be better for me if she came; she could live with me and help me with rent. She
’
s a bank teller and she was sure she could get a transfer with little to no trouble at all. She also reminded me that I can
’
t cook shit and I
’
d starve without her. Every reason she gave was legit, but none of them addressed why she wanted to come
—
why she
needed
to come. The truth is, she
’
s in love with my brother. That
’
s all she had to say. Neither of us were going to stop her
—
least of all Rett.

He and Crystal have been together for a year and a half now. They met at the State Fair back home. In Cheyenne, Wyoming, the fair is no joke. What the two of them share isn
’
t either. I
’
ve never seen him fall for a girl the way he
’
s fallen for her. He
’
s so pussy whipped
—
but she makes him happy and that
’
s all I really care about. The cool part is, she
’
s actually pretty fun to be around. We get along great, so living with her these last few months has been good. It hasn
’
t been easy, not being able to have Rett around as much, and it helps that we have each other.

We wanted to be as close as possible while he went through boot camp and then infantry training. We knew it would be hard for him to get away, but we figured if we were close enough, we
’
d get more weekends with him than if we were back in Wyoming. It wasn
’
t much
—
it wasn
’
t enough
—
but none of us thought he
’
d get deployed as soon as he graduated. Now, looking back, I know that moving down here was the best decision I
’
ve ever made in my life. We won
’
t be staying long, though. Now that he
’
s leaving, I know I need to get back to Grams. Crystal feels it too. We
’
ll all need each other as we wait for our solider to come back.

Thinking about Grams makes me regret that she
’
s not here. Part of me knows that it
’
s probably for the best. I
’
m sure she
’
d be a mess and Rett doesn
’
t need that right now
—
he
’
s got enough on  his plate dealing with Crystal and me. Just the same, he hasn
’
t been back home since his leave after boot camp. I know he spent most of last night talking to her, though. And he
’
ll be back.

He
’
ll be back.

I peek over at Rett and Crystal from where I stand. I
’
ve been trying to hang back, knowing that they need their space right now. She
’
s cried herself to sleep every night since we got the news. I can always hear her through the walls, which are paper thin. We don
’
t talk about it
—
her tears. Admitting that I hear her would be the same as her admitting she can hear me whenever I have a girl over; or that I can hear her whenever she
’
s with my brother.

Last night they went at it as if their lives depended on it.

Yeah
—
we don
’
t discuss her tears. Every morning, as I brew a pot of coffee, she tries to hide her puffy eyes from me. As soon as I enter the room, her cereal becomes the most fascinating thing in the world. We both know I
’
m no fool, but I never ask her if she
’
s okay. She doesn
’
t ask me either. After I doctor my cup of brew, I kiss the top of her head and make my way back to my room. One kiss every day. The innocent act assures her that I understand, like no one else can, and I
’
m here for her.

We left the apartment pretty early this morning, so she
’
s dressed for the cool January temperature in her skinny jeans and a marine corps hoodie that belongs to Rett. It swallows her tiny frame. Crystal
’
s small in comparison to me
—
I stand just barely at five-eleven
—
so next to my beast of a brother, who is six-four and built like a machine
—
she looks like a doll. Her glossy black hair is pulled up into a ponytail that hangs halfway down her back, leaving her tear-streaked face completely exposed. Even from here, I can see the dark lashes that frame her big brown eyes are soaked. She
’
s not wearing any makeup, but she doesn
’
t need any. Her rich, caramel colored skin is beautiful on its own
—
and the way my brother is looking at her right now, I know he doesn
’
t give a shit what she
’
s got on. She
’
s his heart.

I watch as he tries to dry her cheeks. The act is futile, as more tears are quick to replace the ones he wipes away. He does it anyway. He leans down and rests his forehead against hers, speaking something only she can hear before he presses his lips to hers. She clings to him and I look away. I love Crystal, because my brother does and because she
’
s a good person and a great friend
—
but
dammit,
she
’
s making this harder.

I look up when I hear a sniffle and I see her making her way toward me. She takes a deep breath, as if she
’
s bracing herself, and then looks up at me and forces a smile.
“
You
’
re turn,
”
she manages. I nod and then direct my gaze over to my brother. Suddenly, I
’
m weak at the knees and I
’
m not sure I can move. When Crystal gently grasps hold of my elbow and gives my arm a tug, I look down at her and surrender to her pull. She kisses my temple and a smirk pulls at my lips. I know right away what she
’
s trying to say.
“
Go on,
”
she insists, giving me a little push.

I force one foot in front of the other.

When I was little and learning to speak, I had a hard time learning Rett
’
s name. I couldn
’
t get the
G
in
Garrett
to come out. Over and over again, Grams would try and help me
—
Gar-rett. GAR-rett.
Rett was all I could manage. He didn
’
t mind. He actually liked it and it stuck. He did that for me. He
’
s been looking out for me and taking care of me since before I could talk. Now I have to say goodbye. He
’
ll be gone until August. This time, there will be no more weekend visits; I can
’
t just call him
—
he
’
ll be a world away.

“
Hey,
”
he mumbles when I stop in front of him.

“
Hey.
”

For a moment, neither of us speaks. It seems like there
’
s so much that needs to be said and yet, there
’
s nothing to say; nothing that will make this parting any easier.

“
Watch out for my girl, alright?
”

I look into his blue-green eyes, a reflection of my own, and nod.
“
You know that I will.
”

“
And Grams. Don
’
t let them worry too much.
”
I tug my eyebrows together in response, knowing I can
’
t promise that. He doesn
’
t take offense. I know he
’
s just talking for the sake of talking.
“
Take care of you, too.
”
He grips my shoulder and gives me a small shake.
“
Do what you have to do, you hear? Keep drawing, keep working hard. I believe in you, bro
—
and I
’
m so proud of you. When I get back, I expect a sleeve design to be drawn up and ready to go for me. A dragon or some tough shit like that.
”

I can
’
t breathe. I bite down on the inside of my cheek, willing my tears to stay hidden behind my eyes. My lungs beg for me to open up my mouth and gulp down a breath, but I can
’
t. When I see a single tear spill from the corner of Rett
’
s eye, I know I
’
m going to lose it.

“
I love you, Trev. So much.
”

“
I
—
I love
—
you
—”
I can
’
t even get the words out before my tears rob me of my voice entirely. When Rett pulls me into his arms, I return his embrace and let myself cry. My face is smashed against his shoulder and it
’
s as if my body knows my heart
—
it knows that this is the one place I can let it all go without any shame.