Authors: Frances Watts
In fact, the climb hadn't troubled me unduly. The ascent was arduous, but my years of wandering the mountains around Tsumago meant my legs and lungs were strong. Still, his teasing tone disturbed me.
âThat might be because I'm not a lady,' I said brusquely, then inwardly cursed myself. I'd done it again, spoken before thinking. It didn't matter what tone he used with me, I should be humble and respectful. But something about Isamu made me feel defensive, which was odd because his attitude wasn't the least bit condescending. I had noticed how he always listened with his head slightly tilted, as if truly interested in what was being said; how he was confident but modest, and not too proud to show curiosity and enthusiasm. He was not at all how I'd imagined a young man of his rank would be.
Isamu gave me an odd look. âI meant it as a compliment. I'm sorry if I gave offence.' He gave a short bow then strode on ahead, leaving me to alternately curse myself and puzzle over his meaning.
A
compliment
? Had he meant to praise my walking or my ladylike manner? Hardly the latter, given my response . . .
We left the Kiso Valley. I had thought I'd be sad as we moved further and further away from my home, and I was a little, but more than that I was entranced, my eyes travelling over new landscapes: the sight of the sacred Mount Fuji from the Shiojiri pass; the bleakness of the Asama plateau, so wide and flat, the desolate air broken by the porters from Oiwake singing a song about the inn of the moon and flowers. Then Mount Asama, the mighty volcano, so unlike the comforting embrace of the mountains in my valley. I saw lakes and bustling towns and the grand Korigawa
shrine, and crossed a wide river on a ferry boat: my first time on the water.
Lord Shimizu was often lost in thought the closer we drew to Edo. I supposed, having heard him tell his nephew of the tension between those who saw the necessity of negotiating with the foreigners and those who refused, that he had a lot on his mind. Isamu was very attentive towards his uncle. They didn't only talk about politics, either. I heard talk of poetry and artists drifting back to me on the breeze. I wondered if Isamu was trying to take his uncle's mind off his problems. He walked with me from time to time, and apologised for leaving me so much on my own, but I didn't mind: I had always been happiest in my own company. I spent much of my time trying to imagine my life among samurai. From what I knew of Lord Shimizu, I felt sure that his wife would be serene, dignified and capable.
We had been travelling for twelve days by the time we reached the Itabashi bridge one afternoon, the sun already sitting low in the sky. âIt's not more than four miles now to my house in Kanda,' said Shimizu. âI know it's late, but now that we're so near home I'd like to keep going. Kasumi, can you manage it?'
âYes, sir.'
And then suddenly we were inside the city's north gate, standing at the edge of an enormous open plaza backing onto a broad tree-lined river. Streets ran off in all directions. It was quite a sight for someone from a town with only one main road.
Lord Shimizu pointed to a long grey wall at one end of the plaza. âThat's a daimyo's mansion,' he said. âWhen my lord is in Edo he lives in a large compound like that
in Daimyo Alley, to the south-east of the castle, and most of his retainers do too. A couple of thousand people live there. But I have my own house not far from the Matsuyama mansion.'
I couldn't say in which direction we went, as there was too much to distract me. The plaza â I'd never seen such a large open space â was crisscrossed by streams of people. Travellers moved in groups like schools of fish. To my left were tea stalls, with waitresses beckoning to passers-by. Palanquin bearers called out for custom, offering to convey weary travellers through the city streets in wooden seats or small wooden boxes held aloft by two long poles. Ahead of us was a trio of women, using their fans to point and whisper behind. Their faces were painted white with their eyebrows drawn in black and their lips coloured blood-red. Their hair was twisted into extravagant arrangements and bristling with decorative pins and combs. With their gorgeous kimonos and quick, darting movements, they resembled colourful birds.
âGeisha,' said Isamu, staring.
As dusk fell, lanterns were lit, giving the other people moving along the street the appearance of fireflies bobbing through the mild air.
Shimizu began to walk more quickly, as if in a hurry to be home. We followed a wide road â I had the impression of rows of houses interspersed with shops â which gradually inclined and grew wider. The densely packed houses gave way to walls and gates, and glimpses of roofs surrounded by trees.
We turned into a narrow street, passing through a guard post. Lord Shimizu stopped to exchange a few
words with the guard. I noted some maids gossiping near the entrance of one home, heard a tofu vendor calling, saw a young man slouching against a wall as if waiting for someone.
âHere we are.' We entered through a wooden gate and found ourselves in a courtyard of raked gravel, facing a large house. There was a smaller building to the right, and I could see hints of a garden to the left. The porters put down our luggage and for a moment there was a commotion as porters mixed with servants from the house. Glancing behind me, I saw a young man across the street watching intently. When he saw me looking he turned his head away abruptly.
As the porters left and the luggage was carried inside, we walked past the large imposing entrance to the house and continued around the side of the building to a smaller entrance. I guessed that the front of the house would have the formal reception room where Shimizu conducted his business, while we were going to the private quarters.
A young woman stood alone in the lamp-lit entrance, her hands nervously smoothing the silk of her kimono. Her hair, dark and lustrous, was drawn back into a large roll worn high on her head. Another of the ladies-in-waiting, perhaps, ready to take us to Shimizu's wife?
Lord Shimizu started towards her and she bowed.
When she looked up at him again her eyes were glowing. âIt's good to have you home, my husband.'
For a moment I just stared. This was Shimizu's wife? I had been imagining someone much older â close to Shimizu in age â but this woman could only have been a few years older than me at most.
Motioning for us to come forwards, the samurai said, âMisaki, this is my nephew Isamu.'
âWelcome to Edo, Isamu-san,' she murmured.
âAnd this is Kasumi. She has come from the Owari domain to be your
churo
, a lady-in-waiting,' Shimizu said.
Suddenly remembering myself, I kneeled before her and touched my head to the ground.
When I raised my head she was looking at me curiously and, I thought, a bit hesitantly. I probably didn't look much like a lady-in-waiting.
I removed my sandals and stepped up onto the
tatami
, following the others through a small entry hall â which held a rack on which the two men placed their swords â into a room laid with six mats. I could hear kitchen sounds coming from behind a sliding screen to my right, while to my left was a large reception room of ten
tatami
mats at least. The
tokonoma
was in the right-hand corner, and opposite the raised alcove was a gold-lacquered display cabinet with several open shelves and a beautiful blue-and-white bowl sitting on top. Its bottom half had a pair of closed doors painted with a mountain scene.
âAre you hungry?' Misaki asked. âPlease sit and I'll have Ishi arrange some trays.'
I hovered uncertainly, not sure if I should be helping her to fetch the food, but she said, âYou too, Kasumi; you must be tired from the journey.'
As soon as I sat, I realised that I really was weary.
Misaki left the room, returning a few minutes later with a small plump woman. They were both carrying trays, which they set in front of the two men. They returned to the kitchen once more and reappeared with
trays for Misaki and me. I assumed the other servants and ladies-in-waiting had already retired for the night.
I looked at the food in front of me: soup, pickles and small cakes of rice with . . . was that raw fish on top? I glanced at Isamu and saw that he was poking it gingerly with his chopsticks.
Lord Shimizu laughed. âI don't think Isamu or Kasumi will have seen sushi before.'
âIt's an Edo specialty,' Misaki explained.
âBut the fish . . .' Isamu poked it again. âIt's not cooked.'
âWe serve it raw. I'm sorry, it didn't occur to me that you wouldn't . . . I didn't think.' She cast a stricken look at her husband. âShould I ask Ishi to make something else?'
âPlease, don't worry,' Isamu said. âIf it's an Edo specialty, I'm sure I'll enjoy it.'
While Lord Shimizu told Misaki about the journey, I picked at my meal. The fish was firm but tender, the flavour not too strong. I puzzled over the garnish for some time until Isamu whispered, âI think it's seaweed.'
By the time the meal was finished I was so tired I was almost swaying where I sat. Misaki must have noticed, for she rose and said, âLet me show you where you will sleep, Kasumi.' She led me through the reception room to the room I'd seen on the other side of the
tokonoma
. In the corner was a painted screen, and Misaki went towards it. Behind was a small alcove, large enough for a futon. My small trunk was already there.
âYou can sleep here. My husband and I have a room at the back of the house.' She pointed across a narrow wooden-floored corridor. âThe toilet and bath are through
there.' She nodded towards a deck leading on to a short corridor running alongside the kitchen.
Futons had already been unrolled for herself and Shimizu. I helped her to lay out a bed for Isamu in the reception room, and then I took a futon into my own little alcove.
So many rooms. In Tsumago we'd had only one room for our family's private use. Even the
honjin
, which had eighteen rooms in total, had only three for the use of the Yamada family.
Perhaps in one of the rooms across the corridor were the other ladies who attended Misaki. Tomorrow I would sleep with them, but for tonight I would enjoy my solitude. I had never slept alone before. It was quiet without Hana's loud breathing and restless shifting about, not to mention the noises of the guests with their snores and snuffles.
I was already half asleep when I heard someone speak my name. I was about to reply when I realised that what I had heard was part of a whispered conversation from another room.
Of course: my alcove must be just across the corridor from the room of my mistress and her husband. No doubt Misaki was asking Shimizu what strange impulse had possessed him to offer me a position in their household.
I was wide awake now, intent on the voices. There was a soft indistinct murmur that must have been Misaki, then her husband's deeper voice replied, âNo, I haven't told her â and you can't either. It's too dangerous.'
Her?
Were they still talking about me?
More murmuring.
âShe knows nothing, suspects nothing â that's why she's so perfect. As long as you stay quiet, we have nothing to fear. But if our secret should get out . . .'
There was a long silence and I thought they must be asleep, then Shimizu said, âI'm sorry it has to be this way, my dear. But it's worth it, isn't it? You love me, don't you?'
And for the first time I heard Misaki's voice clearly as she said, âOh yes, Minoru. More than anything.'
The cherry tree clothed
In a single green layer:
The robe of summer
If our secret should get out
. . . What? What was too dangerous for me to know? I was perfect for this job, Shimizu had said, because I knew nothing, suspected nothing.
As cosy as I was under my quilt, I couldn't repress a shiver. He was right that I knew nothing. And there was no one I could ask. Did the other ladies-in-waiting know? Did Isamu? All at once I felt a long way from home.
I woke to the sound of clattering as the wooden sliding shutters that had enclosed the house at night were opened. Aware of noise from the kitchen, I hastily rose and pulled a clean kimono on over my under-kimono,
then walked through the series of rooms that led to the kitchen. The futon on which Isamu had slept had already been put away, I noticed, and the reception room opened onto a deck that led to a garden from which I could hear Isamu's voice, so familiar to me now, mingling with that of his uncle. I stepped into the kitchen, which was dim and smoky, and saw Ishi stirring a pot at the stove, Misaki supervising her.
âGood morning, my lady.' I bowed low at the door and she looked up briefly. Standing behind the stove in a plain cotton kimono not so different from my own, she looked less young and fragile than she had the night before. Seeing her now, I was sure I had dreamed the exchange I'd heard â about secrets, about danger . . .
âI hope you slept well, Kasumi,' she said briskly.
âYes, my lady. How can I help you?'
âWe'll serve my husband and his nephew their breakfast before I dress.'
It was a relief to be doing the same task I might have been doing at home â though on a much smaller scale, as we had only two men to serve and not an inn full of guests.
Misaki and I assembled trays with a bowl of miso soup and one of rice, and carried them into the room just as Shimizu and his nephew entered, both dressed formally in stiff-shouldered jackets and wide-legged
hakama
. I felt suddenly shy to see Isamu like this; he was no longer my familiar travelling companion and his manner seemed more subdued.
Misaki kneeled before her husband, bowed, then placed the tray in front of him and I did the same for Isamu.
âThank you, ladies. I'll be taking Isamu over to the domain mansion this morning.'
I kept my eyes on the floor, surprised by the pang I felt at the thought of his leaving. Would I see him again? I wondered.
Isamu finished his breakfast and went to see to his luggage, and Misaki returned to the kitchen for some more rice for her husband, leaving me alone with Lord Shimizu.
âSo, Kasumi, I'll be relying on you.'
With my father's admonishments about appropriate behaviour in mind, I had been kneeling quietly with my face downcast, but now I looked up in astonishment.
Shimizu was cradling a teacup in his hands, his thumb idly stroking the rim. He said quietly, âMisaki and I only married two months ago, and I've been away for six weeks of that time already. My business for the daimyo keeps me very busy and I'm worried she'll be lonely. She's not from my own domain, you see; she's from Morioka and doesn't know anyone in Edo. You'll be good company for her, and I hope you will do a service for me.'
âOf course, sir.' I felt that I would do anything to help him. My father had dismissed me as useless, but Shimizu had chosen me to come to Edo and attend his beautiful wife. If he was about to share the secret with me, I would guard it with my life.
The samurai smiled faintly. âYour father tells me you are observant; I want you to be my ears and eyes â if Misaki appears to be troubled, to be suffering, if anyone should cause her distress, I want you to tell me. Can you do that?'
âYes, sir.' He rose even further in my estimation. I was sure most husbands wouldn't be so sensitive. And
I had an answer to one question, at least. Father may not have meant to praise my powers of observation â watching wasn't work as far as he was concerned â but Lord Shimizu thought my skill was valuable, that I might be of some real use. But what did he think would cause his wife distress? Perhaps the other ladies would tell me. But when was I going to meet them?
While Misaki accompanied her husband and his nephew to the gate, I carried the men's empty trays to the kitchen. âIshi,' I whispered, âwhere are the other ladies?'
Ishi looked up from the sink. âWhat other ladies?'
âThe ladies who attend Misaki-san.'
âThere are no other ladies, dear. You're the only one.'
I gaped at her. âBut hasn't she brought anyone with her from Morioka?'
âNot a soul. She came to Edo all alone.'
That struck me as peculiar, but I supposed that even if Ishi knew why no one had accompanied Misaki, she wouldn't tell me. Lord Shimizu's servants would all be loyal. Come to think of it, where were all the servants? Surely a man of such high rank would have an army of them. âIs there a large household staff?' I asked.
Ishi frowned at the pan she was scrubbing. âJust me to oversee the running of the house and kitchen, and Otami to do the cleaning and the laundry.'
Only two . . . âAnd outside the house?'
âThere's the gardener and Goro, the night guard.' I had a sudden memory of a short squat man with the protuberant eyes of a toad standing by the gate the night before. It must've been he and the gardener who had
carried in our luggage. âAnd the master has a manservant, Haru. You'll have met him already.'
âI thought there would be more,' I said.
âOur master is a true samurai,' Ishi declared with pride. âHe might be of the highest rank, but he believes in working hard and living humbly.'
Misaki entered the kitchen at that moment, and the cook and I ceased our conversation.
âWe can have our own breakfast now,' Misaki said.
As my mistress and I ate the leftovers from the breakfast cooked for the men, I watched her surreptitiously. Her forehead was furrowed slightly, and she concentrated fiercely on her bowl of soup as if to discourage conversation.
I had barely finished half my own bowl before she set hers down and stalked from the room.
I abandoned my breakfast to follow her.
âIshi has been doing my hair until now,' she said over her shoulder as we walked through the reception room which a maid â Otami, I presumed â was sweeping. âA cook!'
I was taken aback by the disdain in her voice. Was this the same woman who had spoken so sweetly to her husband, had so ardently declared her love for him? (If I hadn't dreamed it, of course, and I was growing more and more sure that I had.)
âThank goodness I'll no longer need to rely on her.'
âYes, my lady,' I said. Why would she no longer need Ishi? I wondered. Then it dawned on me. It would be
my
job to do her hair. I had known this would likely be one of my duties, but I'd thought there would be other ladies to teach me. I felt a stirring of anxiety in my chest.
In the room where Misaki and her husband had slept the futons had been put away in the built-in cupboard. We went through to a smaller room of four mats. Several silk kimonos hung over rails. Tentatively I reached out to stroke one, the fabric smooth and slippery beneath my fingers.
âYou'll find everything you need on the dressing table here.'
I looked up as she spoke and, in the light glowing through the rice-paper screen separating the room from the garden, I saw what had last night been concealed by her makeup and this morning by the dimness of the kitchen: a shiny scar bloomed across her left cheek.
I must have gasped, because Misaki put a hand to her cheek self-consciously. âThe makeup covers it well. You know what they say: a light skin conceals seven other defects.'
âYou don't have seven defects to conceal, my lady,' I protested, because it was true. Other than the ugly scar, Misaki was exquisite, with large eyes in an oval face and a long straight nose. Her face was pale even without the makeup and her teeth had been blackened with dye, presumably recently given she hadn't been married long.
âHow did you â?' I began, then stopped and looked at the floor. It was none of my business.
âA fire,' she said briefly.
Had she been burned before or after Lord Shimizu married her? I wondered. I was deciding whether I had the courage to ask when she ordered, âCome do my hair.'
âYes, my lady.'
I moved to stand behind her as she kneeled on the
tatami
. Taking a comb from the dressing table, I began
to pull it through Misaki's hair, a river of black as silky-smooth as one of her kimonos.
Should I tell her I didn't know what I was doing? She'd probably send me home at once. My father would be disgraced, angry. And Shimizu: he was counting on me to watch over his wife; I didn't want to let him down. No, I would have to do her hair. How hard could it be? I had seen my mother and sister putting up their own hair. But a lady like Misaki wouldn't wear her hair like my sister, I reminded myself, glancing at the array of pins and combs and hair ornaments scattered across the dressing table. She'd had it in a large roll the night before, but that had come loose during the night. And given her complaints about Ishi, she was probably desiring a more elaborate style. Well, Father had said I had an active imagination; I'd just have to use it.
Closing my eyes, I tried to picture how a glamorous Edo woman might wear her hair. I'd seen those women in gorgeous kimonos as we'd entered the city gate the evening before. One of them had had hair that stood out from her head like two graceful wings. With a beautiful kimono and her hair in wings, Misaki would resemble a butterfly, I thought. Perfect â I'd do that.
But how did one turn long straight hair into butterfly's wings? I'd had a vague impression of rolls of hair and combs and pins.
âI think you've combed enough,' Misaki spoke up.
I was startled to realise that as all these thoughts had been running through my mind I'd still been combing. âYes, my lady.'
I couldn't put it off any longer. I parted her hair in the middle, then wrapped one section of hair around my
hand to make a wing. It didn't look too bad. Reaching for hairpins I pinned it securely. Uh-oh; now my hand was stuck.
Discreetly I removed a few of the pins till I could extract my hand. The wing flopped to the side. Perhaps I could pull it into place with a comb. Holding the wing erect with one hand, I worked a comb into it and then let go. The wing drooped. Hmm. I'd deal with that later.
I turned my attention to the other side. With a bit of deft pinning and combing, I manoeuvred the roll of hair into place. Feeling quite pleased with my handiwork, I moved to the front to see how she looked.
One wing stood straight up while the other fell flat, broken. It didn't look full and rich. It looked . . . bizarre. Eye-catching, but not in the right way.
I stepped away, trying desperately to think how I might salvage this disaster.
Taking the broken wing in one hand, I pushed a pin through it firmly.
âOh!' Misaki cried, flinching.
âI'm sorry, my lady,' I said, mortified. âI didn't mean to â'
âWhat are you doing back there?' Before I could stop her, Misaki reached for a hand mirror. I watched as her reflected expression moved from quizzical to horrified.
âI'm, er, not quite finished,' I said. âI still have to . . .' I glanced at the dressing table, hoping for inspiration. âI have to add more hair ornaments.'
An ornament with trailing wisteria in purple silk, pins with red silk tassels, a black-lacquered comb painted with gold â I put these things in at random, thinking that at
least they would distract from the misshapen lumps I had fashioned from her hair.
When at last I had finished, Misaki, who still held the mirror, regarded herself in silence.
At last she said in a hard voice, âIs this some kind of joke?'
âN-no, my lady,' I stammered. âBut I'm afraid I'm not familiar with the hairstyles of Edo. Perhaps if you could describe your preferred style?'
She flung down the mirror. âFetch Ishi,' she snapped. âAt once.'
My face burning, feeling close to tears, I hurried to the kitchen.
When I returned with the cook, Misaki had already removed most of the pins, combs and ornaments.
She didn't mention the havoc I had wreaked on her head, merely said, âIshi, could you show Kasumi how I like to wear my hair, please?'
I concentrated hard as the older woman created a large roll at the back, then smaller rolls at the front and sides to create an illusion of fullness. These she fastened with hairpins and combs â including the one Lord Shimizu had bought in Yabuhara. The red shone against Misaki's black hair. The simple style accentuated the delicacy of her face.
âShe doesn't like it too fancy,' Ishi said. âAnd she doesn't need it fancy, either â she's beautiful enough. Now, do you think you've got it?'