The Other Side of Envy: The Ghost Bird Series: #8 (The Academy) (31 page)

I picked up the phone again, gritting my teeth at the sight of the cracked screen. Maybe I could get someone to fix it before Gabriel found out. It wasn’t as bad as mine. Maybe I shouldn’t be holding on to cell phones. I broke a lot of them.

I delicately turned the screen on. It still worked.

Gabriel had sent a message. I hesitated to read it. Would he see through what I’d done? Would he be annoyed that I was trying to get his attention by being upset by something else?

Gabriel: Where are you?

That was it. I was confused by what he was asking. Had they not told him the plan?

Sang: Kota has me at a hotel. The others are showing up soon.

Gabriel: Is Kota nearby?

Again, I was confused. At least he was talking to me. Liam put me on a path. I had to follow through. I kept going.

Sang: He’s taking a nap. I’m in the bathroom. I couldn’t stop worrying about things. I know you’re busy.

Sang: I’m sorry. I didn’t know who else to talk to.

It wasn’t like I had told Kota about my real mother and the issues I was having. No one but Gabriel knew how I really felt about it.

Time passed. I’d been in the bathroom for a while. I listened out for Kota, wondering if he was still asleep. I hoped he was, but I’d have to leave the bathroom soon.

Gabriel: Sometimes I think if my mom had just divorced my dad, my mom and my little brother would still be alive.

Gabriel: Or maybe if I’d been like Dr. Green and never knew my real mother it’s be better. I’d probably be like you.

Gabriel: I sometimes wish I hadn’t known her so I wouldn’t be angry about it.

Tears flowed freely now. My nose dripped. My hands shook as I held onto the phone. I read his messages over and over. Poor Gabriel. He’d lost so many people. His mother, someone he actually cared about and remembered. He lost his brother, too.

This was bad and wasn’t fair to do to him. I was dragging Gabriel down into dire thoughts when he was already tired and cranky. I appreciated knowing his feelings, and I wanted to hug him and talk to him about this, but this wasn’t the right time, was it?

He was talking to me though. Connecting. Mr. Blackbourne said get him on my team, and he’d be a strong advocate. I wanted to be on Gabriel’s team. That felt important. I couldn’t just back down now.

Sang: I’m so sorry about your mom and your brother. About your dad, too.

Sang: I can’t imagine having known my real mother and lost her.

Sang: I still feel a little sad that my stepmother and I couldn’t find a way to get along, even if I felt the circumstances weren’t her fault.

Sang: I feel guilty about Marie, like I’m leaving her behind.

Sang: I’m afraid Mr. Blackbourne or the Academy will make me learn about my real mother and those secrets before they’ll let me join.

Sang: And I feel like if I don’t join, somehow I might lose you.

I was going to say
you all
, but it felt important to make sure he knew it was him I was thinking about. I did think of the others, of course. But Gabriel was who I needed to convince right now.

The phone vibrated in my hands again. Each time it did, my heart was in my throat, worried I’d make him mad, and at the same time, relieved he’d answered.

Gabriel: He says we need to know about our pasts so someone doesn’t show up one day. If it isn’t a surprise, we’ll be ready.

Gabriel: But what if your parents are secretly axe murderers? Do you really need to know?

Gabriel: If you don’t want to know, you shouldn’t be forced to know.

Gabriel: I know you want in the Academy, but maybe you shouldn’t join if they want you to learn about your real mom.

Relief spread through me. He understood, sympathized. He was talking to me. My heart soared. Maybe he was cranky, but he was helping.

Sang: I wish you were here to talk about this. I know you’re running around with my phone.

Gabriel: This sucks. Sometimes I think they do this on purpose so we’re not together.

I didn’t want to make the others the enemy. The goal was to keep them together, not splinter them.

Sang: It was my fault. I traded my phone with you not realizing if you’re carrying it, they’d have you running around with it.

Sang: Anyway, I’ll have to tell Mr. Blackbourne sometime. I don’t want to disappoint him. I don’t know how to refuse again if he brings it up.

Sang: He wants me in the Academy. I just want to stay with you, in the Academy or not. Whichever lets me stay with you.

I stopped typing. He didn’t respond. I waited for him to come back and say something.

Time passed. No answer.

I waited until my legs were falling asleep sitting on the toilet seat. I couldn’t stay in the bathroom forever without Kota knocking and wondering what was wrong with me. Gabriel couldn’t be too upset with me, though, if he’d finally responded. It would have to be good enough for now.

I cleaned up the torn tissues and wiped my face clean of tears. I sucked in a breath, holding the phone close. I’d forgotten to tell Gabriel I broke his phone. I plotted how I could replace the screen before he got back. Maybe I could ask Kota.

I opened the door and stepped out. The bed was empty, the covers thrown over the pillows.

“Kota?” I called, but he wasn’t there.

Fear crept through me. I tiptoed into the room, as if he could be hiding under the bed. His book bag was in the room, as was his overnight bag. His keys were gone, but his wallet was still here. One of the card keys for the room was missing.

He went somewhere? Without his wallet?

I walked over to the window, pulling the shade over a tiny bit, just enough to poke my head out.

At first, I couldn’t find him. Then I leaned over to see more of the parking lot, and spotted him. He was standing outside of North’s Jeep parked in the lot. He had his hands in his pockets, his hair a little ruffled from sleeping. North stood nearby, as did Silas and Nathan. North and Kota were talking, and the other two were waiting.

I pulled back from the curtain and considered the room. Four boys. Four places to sleep. Someone was going to end up on the floor, or I was going to be in the middle of a bed with two of them.

I fiddled with Gabriel’s phone. What if he wrote back? I’d have to sit strategically so someone didn’t accidentally read the wrong thing over my shoulder. If we ended up talking about Lily or the new plan, I didn’t want to have to stop because Kota was too close.

I moved one of the chairs over to the corner where I could see out into the room and none of them could pop up behind me and read over my shoulder. They weren’t usually nosy. I was just being paranoid.

I went to the window again. Kota and North led the way to the hotel room, with Silas and Nathan following behind, dragging the majority of the book bags and overnight bags in. Mine was in Silas’s hands.

I was going to wait by the door as they went out of view to climb the stairs. The phone buzzed in my hand, surprising me.

Liam: Wrong move, Sang. Whatever you did, you went way too far.

Too far? He said to break. What was too far?

My heart stopped, and I held my breath. I stared at the phone, waiting for him to tell me what he mean.

Instead of standing by the door, I moved to the seat, pretending I didn’t know they were coming in. I sat down hard in the chair, curling up as much as I could, trying to look nonchalant. I reviewed what I’d sent to Gabriel. I went back to Liam’s text and replied.

Sang: What do you mean? He was talking to me. He sounded fine.

I was just able to send the message when the door handle moved and Kota entered. He spotted me in the chair and smiled. “They’re here.”

I smiled back. It was hard to do when I was in a panic.

Kota moved further in, allowing the others to file in behind him. They talked loudly as they entered. North pointed to the unused bed. Silas and Nathan dropped bags onto it. Kota told them to pile the bags on the side of the dresser near the television because we’d sit on the beds. Silas and Nathan dragged the pile over.

The phone buzzed, but I couldn’t look at it. They were actively moving around. They might have been distracted, but I didn’t want them seeing I was texting and ask who or what we were texting about. I wasn’t sure I could lie. I was too rattled as it was.

I’d gone too far. Gabriel had sounded okay. Or had I said something bad? I tried looking back at what I’d said. We’d been talking about some tender spots for both of us: our mothers.

Gabriel didn’t talk about his past a lot. Not normally. I’d known him for a while, but I’d only really learned about what happened to his mother and the rest of his family recently. He was reluctant to talk about it.

The boys settled in, sitting on the beds. They talked about McCoy. Kota and North devised strategies. I listened, but fiddled with the phone, distracted.

I eased the phone away from my body, unable to resist checking it out.

Liam: I got a message from Luke. Gabriel bailed on the mission. Luke said he mentioned going rogue.

IN THIS TOGETHER

T
ime stopped and all I could do was stare at Liam’s message. Gabriel did something he wasn’t supposed to, enough that Luke sent a message on to Liam about it. Why did he send the message to Liam? Wouldn’t he have told Kota? Or Mr. Blackbourne?

Kota, North and the others talked in the room, and all I could do was stare at the message. I waited for more, an update, an answer.

Going rogue. Was it because of something I said or something going on with Mr. McCoy? It didn’t make sense that he’d take any severe action over what we talked about.

Or did he mean...could it mean he was quitting the Academy and walking away from everything? No.

Liam’s message was pretty severe. I wasn’t sure how to respond. I didn’t know what to do.

I looked up, ensuring the others were engaged and not focused on me. I sat stiffly, like moving even the littlest way would cause the whole world to crumble.

My fingers hovered over the phone. I wanted to ask Liam more. I wanted to text Gabriel. Luke had promised to stay near Gabriel. Should I text him and find out what was going on?

Why was I stuck in this hotel room when somewhere out there, Gabriel needed me?

I wasn’t sure what to say to anyone. It felt like if I’d just kept quiet and waited until I saw Gabriel again, maybe that would have been better. Was he angry at me for bringing things up?

I’d made so many mistakes. Maybe if I didn’t react, would that be better?

“Sang?”

I lifted up my head. I wasn’t sure who had said my name. Everyone had their heads turned toward me.

“Huh?” I asked.

Nathan smirked. He sat near Kota on the unmade bed. He’d switched from his school uniform to jeans and a red T-shirt, one that was too small for him. When he twisted to look at me, part of his side was exposed, including the edge of his dark boxers and the side of his stomach. “What are you doing? We were talking about getting pizza.”

“She likes pepperoni, doesn’t she?” Silas asked Nathan. Then he turned his head and looked at me. He had on his school pants, and had stripped everything except the white undershirt. He sat on the corner of the other bed, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. With the way he was sitting, it bulked his muscles until he appeared massive. “Because pepperoni is the only thing you put on a proper pizza.”

“You don’t know that,” Nathan said. He turned to me. “Don’t you like chicken and black olives? But you likes pineapple, too...”

“You don’t put fruit on pizza,” Silas said. He nudged North. “That’s unhealthy, isn’t it?”

I groaned internally. It was hard to deal with them fussing over pizza when Gabriel was out there somewhere, going off on his own.

What could I do? I realized the only one in the room that could possibly understand what was going on was North.

“If you want to talk about healthy, you’d buy her a salad,” North said. “We should all probably have one instead of pizza.” He sprawled out on his back on the bed, wearing in the same dark pants and black T-shirt. He situated himself on top of the bedspread. His eyes closed.

“You could ask her if she wants a salad or pizza,” Kota said, absently fiddling with the pillow in the bed we’d slept in. He plumped it and then sat back against the headboard. “She’s sitting right there.”

“Sang, what do you want on
your
half of
our
pizza?” Nathan asked, emphasizing while looking at North. “Don’t listen to North and get a salad just because he says.”

North turned his head away so I couldn’t see his face. “Unless she wants one, which she should. She’s been eating shit all day.”

“Sang?” Nathan asked louder than North’s tone. “What do
you
want?’

I really didn’t have an opinion. I wanted to say something, anything, to stop them talking to me right now. My frenzied mind didn’t care about pizza toppings. I so wasn’t in the place to talk about it.

“Chicken?” Nathan asked. “Black olives? Pineapple?”

“Yeah,” I said absently.

Nathan cocked an eyebrow. “All three?”

I didn’t really care. I wasn’t sure if I’d eat it anyway. “Sure.”

“So weird,” Nathan said. He turned to Kota. “You heard her.”

Kota pressed at his phone and Nathan and Silas started talking. Kota spoke into the phone and then got up to go outside, maybe to talk somewhere quiet.

Silas and North were talking about the end of the football season coming up, another home game was happening soon and there were talks of holding it at another school since someone messed up the one at homecoming.