The Other Side of Envy: The Ghost Bird Series: #8 (The Academy) (32 page)

As they chatted, I couldn’t help but wonder if I should text Luke. He might be trying to get Gabriel to stop, or trying to keep up with him. Every choice I had made so far felt like a huge mistake. Trying to help wasn’t helping. I wasn’t so sure talking to Luke would help or hurt.

I got up quietly. Silas eyeballed me but kept talking. I approached North. I needed someone else. I didn’t want to say anything out loud. I didn’t want to do what I had to do next, but I had to. I had to do something; I couldn’t just sit there. The others wouldn’t really understand. North was more aware than anyone and he might know what to do.

North kept his eyes closed and didn’t pick up his head as I sat on the bed next to him. Was he sleeping?

I pretended to listen to Silas and Nathan talking about football when I bent over North, checking his face.

“What?” he asked, though quietly. I sensed he knew it was me.

I didn’t want to say anything out loud. Instead, I prodded at his arm.

He grumbled, turned his head and then opened an eye. “What?” he said.

I glanced at the others, faking a smile and a wink at Nathan when North’s tone got his attention for a second. When Nathan continued talking, I slipped the phone out of my pocket, scrolled to where I was talking to Gabriel and passed it to North.

“It cracked?” he asked.

I grimaced, checking on the others but they were still talking. I shook my head, pointing instead at the illuminated messages. I didn’t have time to worry about the cracked phone now.

North looked at me curiously but then moved the phone over near his head. He was still on his side, his other arm propped up under his head for support. He used his thumb to scroll through, reading through the messages.

I tried to keep a steady face around Nathan and Silas. I played with lies in my head if they were to ask what was on the phone. I just crossed my fingers they wouldn’t be that curious. I was very bad at lying.

Kota returned after placing the pizza order. Nathan dragged him into the conversation, but Kota changed the subject, asking if anyone had homework.

“Finished mostly at school,” Nathan said. He tilted his head back. “I don’t want to do the rest.”

“We have to keep our grades up,” Kota said. “If we start slipping now, we’ll get behind.”

“We’re ahead, though,” Nathan said. “I’ve nearly read the entire textbook for each class.”

“We don’t need these classes,” Silas said. “Why are we trying so hard to impress them? Can’t we scrape by with a few C- grades when it won’t matter later? We can do that just by showing up for the tests.”

“It’s the game we play for now,” Kota said.

North shook my arm to get my attention. His eyes shot lightning at me, dangerous. He mouthed something, though I wasn’t sure I understood what he was trying to say.

I took the phone from him, moved on to Liam’s messages. North, still looking upset, settled back again to read. I knew how he was feeling, but I didn’t want to alarm anyone. I wasn’t even sure if I was doing the right thing. Someone had to know, though.

“I’m just saying, we waste a lot of time being locked into classes,” Nathan said. “I know you enjoy them, but...”

“I understand. They aren’t...satisfying,” Kota said. “I think I’m more used to learning on my own. The classes are slower than I’d like.”

Nathan rolled his eyes. “Only you would complain that a class isn’t hard enough.”

“The material is interesting,” Kota said. “I just mean we don’t really move on from topics. There’s a very short discussion, then a homework assignment repeating what we discussed, and then a review and maybe a quiz, an essay and then a test. I’d rather attend a lecture and discuss the ideas, and maybe have a small test to count for a grade. As it is, I’m going over the same material at least four times.” Kota tilted his head back and sighed. “And we’re stuck going to classes until advised otherwise. We can’t just stop. It’ll look like we gave up and dropped out. Besides, what are we going to do if we aren’t in class? They’re not going to let us just walk around the school, peeking in classrooms and pretending we—”

North sat up quickly. He had the phone in his hands, his head tilted over the screen staring at it. He threw a glance at me and then mumbled something.

“North?” Kota asked. “Something wrong?”

“Phone call,” North muttered. He covered his hand over Gabriel’s phone and pressed it to his face, pretending to be on it while exiting the room.

No one seemed alarmed when North went outside. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to follow.

I wasn’t in the conversation anyway, so after a couple of minutes, I got up. I pretended I was curious as to what North was doing and went to the door.

“Sang,” Nathan said. “It might be Academy stuff.”

I stepped back and pointed to the door. “I wasn’t going to listen in,” I said. “I’m just paranoid since he’s out there alone.” I twisted the handle and opened. “If it’s Academy, I’ll come back, but will have him stay in front of the window where we can see him.”

This seemed to satisfy them. Kota’s eyes even lit up a bit. I think he was happy that I was thinking about safety.

North was a few feet away from our room. He waited until I closed the door behind me before he moved. He curled his fingers at me, his eyes blazing.

The way he looked at me made me want to run back inside and pretend I didn’t know anything.

“Why didn’t you tell me this shit sooner?” he asked through his teeth, obviously trying to whisper, but not managing it. “What does he mean, anyway?
Going rogue
?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I’m not there. I pushed him too far, though.”

“You and I are going to have another conversation later about this.” He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and started to dial. “So help me, Sang. I told you he was fucking cranky.”

“They said he was feeling down. He needed me to talk to him.”

“They’re not family, Sang.” He used the phone, pointing it at me. “I appreciate them helping us. I appreciate that you’re trying. But they aren’t family and don’t know what we need. They don’t know Gabriel.”

I gasped, pulling back, my eyes watering. He didn’t mean it, but the way he said it made me feel like
I
wasn’t family. I didn’t know Gabriel well enough to be able to reach out to him or to push when I felt he was down.

Maybe it hurt because it was true. How could I possibly know them all as well as they knew each other? I was new. I’d only known them...it felt like a long time but it was only a few months. Some I spent more time with than others. Gabriel I didn’t get as much time with. How could I even pretend to know him as well as North did?

It hurt to think so. I wanted to belong and be a part of them. I just didn’t know how to.

North made a scary face and then marched forward toward me. He wrapped me up in a tight hug and then said, quietly. “Baby, you’re trying. You still don’t trust us, though. You work around us even after we tell you what to do.” He pulled back, holding onto my shoulders, and leveling his head with mine. “Which is usually my job.”

I tried not to smile, but he was being so sincere at trying to almost make a joke that it was nearly impossible. North didn’t usually make jokes.

“Now I have to go stop Gabriel from doing something he’ll regret.” He released me and started walking away.

“What do I do?” I asked. “I should go with you. I should come to talk to him.”

“No,” he said, turning. He pointed back at the hotel room. “You have to go back in there with the guys and stay where you’re supposed to be, which is as far away from your phone and Gabriel.”

“But...”

“You just gave Gabriel a whole shitload of fuel,” he said. “I know him, and now that he’s learned all this shit you told him, he’s figuring out where you are and coming to find you. Which means I’ve got to stop him because he’s probably not thinking straight and leading McFuckCoy right to you.”

I stopped moving forward, standing still, unsure. It was worse than I thought. I was doing wrong by Gabriel and now was messing this whole plan up. “I can’t just stand by.”

“Sometimes we fight,” he said, “and sometimes we have to stand back and let others fight for us.” He moved forward again, snagged my chin between his fingers and held my face close to his. “We’re in this together, Sang Baby. You found out about this plan on your own. You seem okay with it. If you are, we’re a team now. Help me pull this team together. You can ask Liam. You can ask Lily. You can talk to them all, but we’re the ones here. You and I.” He pressed his lips together. I thought he was going to grunt or start talking again.

Instead he tugged me by the chin, closed his eyes, and pressed his lips down against mine.

It threw me off. I’d been swept up by his need, his pleading for me to work with him.

It was quick, harsh kiss and then he let go. “Stay here,” he said. “I’m going to go fix this. No matter what happens, you stay with one of them and don’t run off.”

I nodded, swallowing back emotion. I clamped my mouth shut, resisting the urge to say anything, and to bury the desire to go with him.

As North walked away, I stood by, waiting until got into his Jeep and drove off.

Only after he was gone did I realize Gabriel’s phone was still with him. I didn’t have the chance to fix things or help. I’d be in the dark.

I imagined he’d done it on purpose. I couldn’t blame him. One word from Gabriel, and I’d have probably walked barefoot through coals over miles just to fix everything I’d done.

AMID SILENCE, STORMS BREW

T
he wind swept against my skin, prickling with chill and dampness. I leaned against the railing, facing the oncoming breeze. I sucked down the clean air, filling my lungs. A moment of calmness.

I wasn’t ready to return to the hotel room. I’d messed up. How could I face the others knowing the mistakes I’d made? The truth I knew now?

Gabriel might be coming for me, maybe with the intention to run off with me and get away from the Academy.

If I stayed outside too long, someone would notice. To find the courage, I told myself North would fix things. He had promised he would. I needed to trust.

I urged my nerves to settle.

I went back to the hotel room and had to knock to be let in.

Nathan opened the door. He smiled and looked past me and then smirked. “Where’d North go?”

“He took off,” I said. I was going to say something to make an excuse as to where he’d gone, but then, I couldn’t lie, and I couldn’t think at all what to say. “He told me to come back in and stay.”

“Huh,” Nathan said. He moved aside, letting me in and then leaned out the door. He glanced toward the road, where a pizza delivery car was pulling into the hotel parking lot. “That’s got to be our pizza.”

“Make sure it is,” Kota called to him. “Check to make sure it isn’t Volto or someone else.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Nathan said, and walked over to the stairwell, where the pizza guy had turned in and was driving slowly. The door closed behind Nathan, leaving me alone with Kota and Silas.

Kota patted the spot next to him on the bed. “Do you want to sit here, or at the table?”

I didn’t want to be close to anyone right then. I had messed things up, possibly causing Gabriel to run off. If North didn’t fix things, I’d have to face Kota and the others and explain to them why Gabriel had felt the need to run off.

I’d be next. I’d have to leave the group if I was causing this much chaos. The Academy would take one look at me and blame me for breaking up the group. They would say they had been correct in determining groups can’t function with one girl and a bunch of boys. They would say Lily’s group was a rare exception.

“At the table,” I said, “if we’re going to eat pizza.” It was a good enough excuse to sit away from them for a while. I didn’t want to be comfortable when I felt I should be in trouble for what I’d done.

The edge of Kota’s lips turned down, but then he got up from the bed. He pulled up the other chair at the table. He sat down in it next to me, briefly touching my hand. He said nothing. As he then pulled his things off the table to make room for the oncoming pizza boxes, he said, without words, things that only I understood. He knew something was wrong. I might not talk about it, but he’d stand by me.

It hurt more than helped, because I couldn’t stop myself thinking about how badly I had screwed up, worried he’d hate me once he learned the truth.

I had no way to know what was going on outside the hotel room. The only thing I could do was sit and wait.

It was agony.

Nathan returned with pizza. Surprisingly, Victor trailed in behind him.

“What are you doing here?” Kota asked. “Aren’t you supposed to be—”

“There’s been a changeup,” Victor said quickly. His eyes scanned the room and then settled on me. He smiled weakly. Something was up. He knew about it. “Mr. Blackbourne told me to come here.”

He knew. Victor and apparently Mr. Blackbourne did know, too.

I sunk into the chair, pulling my feet under me and curling up. He didn’t have to say it. Somehow, he knew what was going on.

Kota’s eyebrows shifted and he looked confused. “Are we still tracking Gabriel and Luke?”

“Yeah,” Victor said. He pulled his phone out from his pocket and swiped at it a bit. “I’m watching them. I’ll get my laptop from the car in a minute and will keep better tabs. I just wanted to check in.”

Kota nodded. He stood up and then moved to the door. “Do you want to fill me in? We can go get your things.”

Victor looked at me and then nodded stiffly. “Sure,” he said. He opened the door, stepping back outside. Kota followed.

I let out a breath. I wasn’t sure how much he’d tell Kota. I was about ready to simply give up. Bottled up secrets screamed to be released. Lily. Gabriel. Me. All of it.

No wonder Mr. Blackbourne had been keeping it to himself.

If only Mr. Blackbourne and North informed us all right from the start, when we could all sit and talk about it, and not when we were splintered and running from McCoy.