The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional (41 page)

If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land. 2 CHRONICLES 7:14

AUTHOR AND BIBLE PROFESSOR Harold Lindsell once said, "Why should we expect God to do without prayer what he has promised to do if we pray?" The Bible contains many calls to prayer, including God's words to Solomon, as recorded in 2 Chronicles 7. If the people humbled themselves and prayed after they sinned, God would hear them, forgive them, and restore them. His invitation to us is clear: "Ask me and I will tell you remarkable secrets you do not know about things to come" (Jeremiah 33:3). The author of Hebrews tells us to "come boldly" to God's throne, where we will receive mercy and grace (4:16).

We come to God as our Father, knowing that he wants to do good things for his children. But we must be ready to receive them. Thus he says, "Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for" (Matthew 7:7). Now, granted, God does not do everything that we request. He loves us too much and is too wise to do that. If what we request is not for our ultimate good, then he will do something better. His will is always right.

Couples who learn to pray together are simply responding to God's invitation. He wants to be involved in your marriage. Praying together is one way of acknowledging that you want his presence and his power. Through prayer, he can change your attitudes and your behavior. Remember, God is love, and he can teach you how to love each other. "Keep on asking."

Lord, lam amazed that you so often invite us to pray-to communicate with you, the Lord of the universe! 1 am grateful for the love and guidance you offer. Please help my spouse and me to take the time to pray together. May we "come boldly" to you and through our prayers be brought closer to each other and closer to you.

So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. MALACHI 2:15

THROUGH THE YEARS, I have counseled enough divorced persons to know that while divorce removes some pressures, it creates a host of others. If you are considering divorce, reflect on the following facts: Only a small percentage of divorced individuals claim to have found greater happiness in a second or third marriage. In fact, whereas the divorce rate in first marriages is 40 percent, the divorce rate in second marriages is 60 percent and in third marriages, 75 percent. The hope of the grass being greener on the other side of the fence is a myth.

I am not naive enough to suggest that divorce can be eliminated from the human landscape. I am simply saying that far too many couples have opted for divorce too soon and at too great a price. Divorce should be the last possible alternative. It should be preceded by every effort at reconciling differences, dealing with issues, and solving problems. I believe that many divorced couples could have reconciled if they had sought and found proper help.

Don't settle for the myth that there is no hope for your marriage. Given the right information and the proper support, you can be a positive change agent in your relationship. Follow God's advice as given in Malachi 2, and guard your heart. Remain faithful to your spouse, and seek help.

Heavenly Father, there are moments when divorce seems tempting. ButI know its never an easy solution; it's a path filled with pain and difficulty. Please give me a rock-solid commitment to my spouse, no matter what. Show me how to express love to my spouse and how to effect change in our relationship.

Now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. JOHN 13:34

THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES, a book I wrote several years ago, has helped hundreds of thousands of couples rediscover warm emotional feelings for each other. Now, this did not happen because someone decided, "I'm going to have warm feelings toward my spouse again." It began when one person decided, "I'm going to express love to my spouse in spite of the fact that I don't have warm feelings toward him or her." That person learned the love language that spoke most deeply to his or her spouse and spoke it regularly.

What happened? The person who was receiving such love began to have warm feelings toward the spouse who was loving. In time, the recipient reciprocated and learned to speak the other's love language. Now both of them have warm feelings for each other.

Emotional love can be rediscovered. The key is learning your spouse's love language and choosing to speak it regularly. Warm feelings result from loving actions. Jesus commanded his disciples-and, by extension, all believers-to love each other as he loved them. His love is not measured in warm feelings, although I have no doubt those are present. Rather, we know Jesus loves us because of what he did for us. Love is a choice, and when we make that choice, we emulate our Savior.

Lord Jesus, thank you for loving me so much that you died on the cross to save me. You are the ultimate example of love. Please help me to make the choice to love my spouse. As 1 act lovingly, l know that loving feelings will come.

You have heard the law that says, "Love your neighbor" and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven.

MATTHEW 5:43-45

HOW CAN WE EXPRESS love to our spouse when we are full of hurt, anger, and resentment over past failures? The answer to that question lies in the essential nature of our humanity. We are creatures of choice. In the past, both of you have likely made some poor choices. I can hear someone saying, "True, but my spouse has made more poor choices than I have." Perhaps you are right, but remember the words of Jesus: "Love your enemies, bless those who curse you" (Matthew 5:44, NKJV).

Why would Jesus say this? Because love is the most powerful weapon to change the heart of another person. The Bible says, "We love each other because he loved us first" (1 John 4:19). Someone must choose to love, in spite of past failures. When we do that, we're acting the way God acts-or, as Jesus says, acting as "true children of [our] Father in heaven." What a wonderful thought.

When we express love using someone's primary love language, that person is "touched" emotionally. This emotional touch makes it easier for a spouse to admit past failures and to change behavior. Love doesn't erase the past, but it makes the future different.

Father, thank you for loving us even when we didn't love you. Please help me to take that as my model. Give me the courage to love my spouse first, regardless of the failures we've experienced in the past. Transform our relationship and our future.