The NSC Boxset: Heart of Stone (25 page)

“I know and I hope Nate can move past this and build a relationship with Jay, for Jay
and
Nate’s sake, not mine. I can be in the background if he doesn’t want me, but I don’t want him to push Jay away for a stupid mistake I made twenty years ago. Jay has waited nineteen years to meet his father and he deserves that!” I told her, praying that Nate would make things right with Jay and they could still have a great father/son relationship.

“Have you been to see him?” she asked.

I nodded. “I just came from his. He was drunk and angry, so we both said a few harsh things and I came home. I left him the Daddy box, but I don’t know if he’s seen it, I’d be surprised if he could see anything in front of him the state he was in.”

“I’m sure he’ll work it out, babe,” she said, putting her arm around me and passing me the Haribos as she topped up my glass. “Let’s get drunk on wine and Haribos.” She grinned.

God! I loved this girl.

* * *

Friday morning rolled around with the sun streaking through the curtains. It shouldn’t be sunny today; it should be pouring down, thunderbolts flashing, the skies dark and grey to match the way I felt.

I decided to go into work, it was better than lazing around the house with too many thoughts and I pulled into the car park just after 9:00am.

Strolling up the steps in a daze to the entrance I felt someone’s hand on my arm. “Olivia?” Bert asked. “You okay, Sugar?” His head was tilted to the side as he regarded me. “You look like shit.”

I let out a laugh. “Gee thanks, Beef.” I smiled when he grinned at me and then frowned looking in my hands.

“Uhh, Friday!” he stated to me, confused.

I wrinkled my brow at him. “Yes it is, well done.” Maybe he was just telling me the weekend was nearly upon us and we had no work to go to tomorrow.

“You seem to have forgotten something, Sugar.”

I frowned at him. “What are you on about, Beef?”

“Breakfast run,” he enlightened me.

I sighed and shut my eyes. “Oh Beef, I’m sorry. I completely forgot. My heads all over this morning.” I looked at him apologetically.

“Hey Sugar, it’s not a problem.” He smiled softly and pinched my chin. “I could do with losing a few pounds anyway.” He winked and smiled again as I continued into the NSC reception.

Miss Wet Kipper was situated behind the desk. “Miss Adams,” she shouted to me as I passed her, “there’s an envelope here for you.”

I nodded and walked over to her to retrieve it. She tipped her head to the side and studied me. “Are you alright?” she asked. I was actually shocked at the empathy in her voice. I frowned at her and she smiled gently. “You look a bit under the weather.”

Oh!

“Yes, I’m fine.” I gave her a grateful smile “Thank you, Samantha.” She actually smiled again and nodded.

Riding the elevator and exiting on my floor, I made my way over to my desk and sat behind it; placing my head in my hands I rested them on the desk.

I felt a hand sweep over my back. “You okay, Sweetie?” Grace asked. “I thought you weren’t coming in today?”

I rolled my head round my neck. “Just feeling a bit shitty, I’ll be fine. I had some work I needed to finish so I thought I’d come in for a few hours.”

“Okay Sweetie but it’s fine if you wanna take yourself off home.” I nodded and told her thanks as I got down to work.

An hour later I lifted my gaze from the computer screen and stretched my arms high above my head and spotted the envelope Samantha had given me. Picking it up I tore it open and a key fell out.

What the hell?
Frowning I examined the key wondering why someone had sent it me. My heart bumped when I wondered if it might be Nate’s house key. Grace had informed me that Nate had not turned in and asked me if he was okay, to which I replied that I had no idea and sensing my aloofness she dropped the subject pretty damn quick.

Tipping my head at the key, puzzled I couldn’t quite fathom out the reason for it; then it dawned on me and my eyes grew very, very wide as my mouth dropped open—it was my old front door key!

“Holy Fuck!” I exclaimed, my breath harsh.

Scrambling for the phone I called down to main reception. “Samantha, its Olivia Adams. Did you see who dropped the envelope off for me?”

“No sorry, Miss Adams. I took a toilet break and it was on the desk with the internal mail when I got back. Is there a problem?” she asked. I could sense her discomfort at the thought of being in trouble.

“No, no thank you.” I sighed and ended the call.

Why the hell would someone have my key, apart from letting themselves into my home and rolling around on my bed with my underwear?

I was still sat contemplating it when Josh walked in with a package. “Hey, Sweetie.” He grinned and then frowned at my face. “Someone’s having a bad day. Cheer up girl, it’s Friday.” He nudged me. “
And
the gift fairy has been again.” He weirdly waggled his eyebrows at me. “Mr Carter has it hard for you Girl!” he chuckled. “Although you might want to remind him you’re not married.”

“What?” I asked puzzled at his bloody riddles.

“The package! It’s addressed
MRS
Olivia Adams.” He chuckled at the thought of Nate’s mistake and how I was going to punish him.

Shaking my head, I took the heavy box from him and set it on my desk. “Come on!” Josh was jumping with excitement. “Open it! I love to see what surprises he sends you.”

I was a bit miffed to be honest; after the things he called me and said to me he thought it was all going to be okay if he sent me a gift.

Sighing, I slowly opened the box and removed the lid. I was greeted with black silk packaging. “Ooh, maybe I don’t wanna see this after all. It looks like lingerie,” Josh giggled but still watched as I peeled back the silk.

He still watched as I stared at the item in the box.

He still watched as I passed out and slumped to the floor.

Chapter Nineteen

THE POLICE ARRIVED within the hour and I was sat in the 44
th
floor conference room with a strong cup of coffee and Grace at my side.

“I know this is hard for you Miss Adams, but anything else you can think of, anything that you think might seem insignificant you need to tell us.” She smiled formally. I could see the ‘God think of all the paperwork’ look on her face as she interviewed me.

I shook my head again. “I’ve told you everything I can think of. My brain won’t work anymore,” I told her, sighing and rubbing my eyes. I just wanted to go home and curl up in bed, sleep away the mess my life had become and get
very
drunk.

“Well, I think that’s all for the moment,” she said, standing and looking at the box in her hand. “I suggest you take extra precautions, Miss Adams. Lock and relock every door and window in your house, don’t go out alone at night and if you notice anything,
anything
worrying no matter how little, you make sure you ring us. I’ve put my name, badge number and extension number on the card I gave you.”

I stood and thanked her as Grace showed her out and then came back in. “You want me to ring Mr Carter for you, Olivia?” she asked softly, putting her hand on my arm.

“
NO!”
I shot, a little too quickly. I didn’t need Nate to come running out of obligation; I needed to handle this myself.

Grace frowned at me. “Is everything alright between you two?” she asked, her eyes full of sympathy.

“We just had a disagreement.” I sighed and walked towards the door. “I’m fine Grace, honest.” I tried to smile at her but just swallowed heavily.

She put her hand back on my arm. “Sweetie, you’re not fine. Who would be after they got a . . . a . . .
that!
”

Shaking my head at her, I slumped my shoulders defeated. “Whose cat do you think it was Grace? Do you think they’re out there looking for the poor creature?” I whispered sadly.

I heaved, bile rising. “Oh God!” I baulked, ran to the bathroom and vomited violently; Grace running behind me and holding my hair back while I threw the contents of my stomach into the toilet bowl.

When I had emptied everything I had, I placed my forehead against the cool tiles of the cubicle wall. “Please let me phone Mr Carter, Olivia?”

“No! And if you do then our friendship will be over.” I glared at her. She nodded slightly. “I mean it, Grace. Nate doesn’t need to know about this, he’ll only worry,” I told her sternly.

She nodded more firmly. “Okay, but promise me that you will take extra care,” she begged.

“I will, I promise okay?” I pacified her and she smiled.

“I’ll leave you to freshen up, Olivia and I’ll see you tomorrow night at the awards. Get yourself off home.” she smiled at me again, then rubbed her hand up and down my arm and exited the restroom, leaving me still knelt on the floor with my head propped up on the wall.

* * *

Three hours later, I was laid in a bubble bath, vodka in hand and Haribos on the edge. I had forsaken the wine for something stronger, needing it to dull my senses.

“Well Liv. You don’t half get yourself into some shit,” I laughed drunkenly, swirling my toes round the edge of the bath. My vision was blurred and my head was sloped to the side as a single tear slipped down my cheek.

Two weeks ago I had been so happy, everything was finally looking up; I’d had Nate, my kids were happy and content and I had been on the verge of coming to terms with my past, my life and my mutilated body.

Another tear slid down to follow the other one, as if racing it down my face in an urgency to beat it to my chin.

I heard my phone ring somewhere in the house. “Oh fuck off!” I shouted to it. “I’m pissed, cold and feeling sorry for myself,” I told it and laughed when it stopped ringing.

Draining my glass I reached over to the bottle I had placed on the toilet seat and slipped round in the bath, the water shot over the edge of the bath in waves and puddled on the floor. I clung to the rim of the tub and rested my chin on my hands as a crowd of tears chased the others now.

“Why?” I asked to no-one in particular. “Why won’t you let me be happy?” I screamed. Wiping my nose with the back of my hand, I sat back up and retried for the nearly empty bottle.

Achieving my goal I smiled to the vodka. “You see, there’s no escape. You need me as much as I need you, babe,” I whispered, although I wasn’t sure if I was still talking to the bottle. “I need you so much,” I sobbed. “I always have.”

The phone rang again. “OH BUGGER OFF!” I screamed at it. I rested my head against the back of the tub and lifted my leg from the water to examine it, twirling and bending it in front of me. “I do have beautiful legs, Nate! You always liked my legs didn’t you?” I sighed, tilting my head and considering the rest of my body.

“You made me feel special and beautiful.” I took another long mouthful of the vodka and wiped my eyes on my hand. “You said you loved me.”

I frowned to the bottle. “You said you always will.” I sucked on my lips and debated myself; sloshed, unhappy and above all absolutely terrified as I lay in the cold, murky bath water, alone.

* * *

I woke up the next morning laid across the landing naked, with a blanket over me and sporting a hangover from the pits of hell. I closed my eyes and groaned as I prised myself off the carpet and stumbled to the bedroom to claim my robe.

Wrapping it round me I ventured downstairs for coffee and paracetamol. As I walked into the kitchen Beth was sat at the table, reading a newspaper with a mug in her hand.

She slowly raised her eyes to look at me from beneath her eyebrows. “Good morning!” she said chirpily. I grunted at her, sliding past to grab a coffee from the pot she had brewed and plonked down next to her.

“When did you get here?” I asked, hoarsely.

“Last night,” she stated simply. “I found you flaked out on the landing and couldn’t wake you so I covered you and left you there,” she revealed, taking another swill of her coffee.

“How? Why? I can’t remember,” I grumbled and rubbed my temples.

“Why didn’t you ring me, Liv?” she scolded with tears in her eyes.

“How did you find out?” I asked her, trying to swallow past the damn dryness in my throat.

“I phoned you at work when you didn’t answer your phone and Grace told me.” She shook her head, her face angry, “Why the hell didn’t you ring me Liv?” she nagged way too loudly for my sore head.

“I just wanted to get bloody pissed and forget every damn fucking thing.” I gulped trying to stop the tears from making another bloody appearance.

“Oh, babe,” she cried, sobbing with me as I wept into her. She screamed with me as I bawled at her and then she just held me, rocking me to and fro like a mother and a child, whispering shushes in my ear.

All cried out and emotionally empty I sat at the table with her a little while later. “Does Nate know?” she asked quietly as though she knew what I was going to say.

“No and he’s not gonna,” I articulated with narrow eyes.

“But Babe, he needs to know.”

“No he doesn’t, Beth. This has nothing to do with him!”

“This has everything to do with him Liv, he loves you!”

“Not anymore,” I reminded her quietly, studying my freshly brewed coffee.

“Liv! Of course he still loves you, he’s just shocked and angry that’s all but he still loves you, babe.” I nodded once, not believing her but just to pacify her. “So,” she said firmly to change the subject, “What did the police say?” I scoffed and gave her a ‘what do you think’ look.

“Right, nothing then,” she ground out between her teeth.

I smiled and shrugged “They’ve took the . . . the . . . cat and the key to examine.”

“Key?”

“Yeah someone has been letting themselves in and sniffing my underwear.” I laughed trying to make light of it. “Anyway I got it sent back to me yesterday in an envelope.” I shrugged again. “And yes before you ask I’ve changed my locks!”

She frowned and wrinkled her brow. “You don’t think it’s that Pervy Peterson do you?” she voiced what I’d already thought.

I shrugged at her. “I dunno, I’ve thought about it. He was angry I’d spurned him and lost him his job but . . . I dunno, it just doesn’t make sense. I got some of the phone calls before it kicked off with him.”