The No-cry Potty Training Solution (6 page)

14. This is how I feel about changing diapers:

a. I enjoy that one-on-one time with my toddler or at least I think I’d prefer changing diapers over

running him to the potty every hour.

b. I don’t mind. I never really think about it.

c. I’d welcome a move out of diapers.

d. Enough diapers already! Bring on the underpants!

15. This is how I feel about potty training my child right now:

a. Either I’m not even thinking about it yet, I don’t think my child is ready, or I don’t have the time or energy to train her right now.

b. I’m OK with it. I know it’s part of the parenting process.

c. I think my child is ready, so I’m ready, too.

d. I’m excited! I see it as a fun time of growth for my child.

16. My toddler often wants to do things “all by myself,”

such as putting on his socks, climbing into his car seat, or pouring his juice:

a. Never. He’s happy for me to take care of him.

b. I’m just starting to see some of this independence emerging.

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The No-Cry Potty Training Solution

c. He frequently demonstrates independence in

some areas.

d. Oh, yeah, that’s my baby: Mr. Independent! or Miss Do It Myself!

17. When my toddler wants to put on his socks, climb into his car seat, or pour his juice, my response is to: a. Do it for him. He can’t do it yet, even though he wants to.

b. Depends on the day and the task: sometimes I’m patient, sometimes I’m not.

c. Encourage him to try, if we have time.

d. Usually let him do it, no matter how long it takes.

18. Our family right now:

a. Is going through a stressful time, but our family situation isn’t expected to change in the next year or more.

b. Is unusually busy but happy!

c. Is functioning normally. (Considering that with kids in the house, “normal” is a moving target!) d. Is happy lately. It’s been calm and peaceful around here.

e. Is going through a stressful time, but it’s

temporary—we should be back to normal in a

month or two.

19. Over the next two months, this is what I expect to be going on in our household:

a. Life will be disrupted for a major reason (for example, we’ll be taking a long trip, we’ll be

moving, we’re remodeling, we’re getting married, we’ll be having another baby, we’ll be entering a sibling’s baseball season and using portable

toilets, or we’re expecting a houseful of company for an extended visit). We don’t mind doing some
The Readiness Quiz: Is It Time for Potty Training?

33

pre-potty training but should probably wait a

while for the active lessons.

b. We’ll be dealing with some disruptions.

Nevertheless, we don’t mind starting the active training process now, even if it means dealing

with a setback afterward.

c. We’ll be home most of the time, but we’ll have a few brief and minor disruptions—for example,

having company, celebrating a holiday, visiting away from home for a day, and so on.

d. Our routine will be pretty normal. (Even if

“normal” is busy.)

e. We’ll have extra time on our hands and be home without the usual disruptions—for example, at

home on vacation or in between assignments.

f. Life will be disrupted for a major reason, and we do not want to get things started and have to

deal with a setback that forces us to start over again later.

20. I am considering potty training because:

a. Someone else advised me to start, or I read or heard something that led me to believe I should start potty training.

b. I think that my child is the right age for potty training.

c. I have a gut feeling that my child is ready.

d. Either we have a day care or other deadline or my child is interested and asked to use the toilet more than once.

e. I’d have to pick more than one of the preceding answers!

f. I’m not even considering potty training yet—I’m just curious about what’s to come.

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The No-Cry Potty Training Solution

21. If my results on this quiz say my child is not ready to start potty training now:

a. I’ll agree 100 percent.

b. I kind of suspected as much.

c. I’ll take the quiz again and change some of my answers.

d. I’ll think this quiz was clever but totally wrong.

22. If my results on this quiz say my child is ready to start potty training now:

a. I’ll think this quiz was wrong.

b. I’ll take the quiz again and rethink some of my answers.

c. I suspected as much.

d. I’ll agree 100 percent.

Total the number of responses for each letter, multiply this number by the value shown, and then add up the total sum for each letter to get a total score.

a. __________ ϫ

0 ϭ __________

b. __________ ϫ

1 ϭ __________

c. __________ ϫ

2 ϭ __________

d. __________ ϫ

3 ϭ __________

e. __________ ϫ

5 ϭ __________

f. __________ ϫ Ϫ5 ϭ __________

TOTAL SCORE ϭ __________

0 to 15:
Wait.

Your little one doesn’t seem to be ready for this big step just yet. Maybe you’re not ready either. So if it’s possible, wait a few months and then take this quiz again.

Rushing a child through the toilet training process before both parties are ready is likely to result in tears

The Readiness Quiz: Is It Time for Potty Training?

35

Sedona, two years old

and frustration—for both of you. Starting too soon could actually prolong the experience and make it unpleasant. On the other hand, if you wait until your little one is more receptive and physically able, the process will be much easier.

If you’re expecting any major disruption to family life in the coming weeks, do yourselves a favor and hold off until things settle down a bit. It’s difficult for a toddler to begin potty training only to have the process derailed before the learning is completed. Having to restart the potty process all over again once things settle back to normal can be frustrating for parents, too. And fitting in potty training because of an imagined rule when you’re already stressed to the maximum just makes it 36

The No-Cry Potty Training Solution

another chore added to the list instead of the delightful shared experience it should be.

What if your score says “Wait” but you honestly can’t wait? Oh, if only it were so simple that this quiz suggests you wait and so you do! However, life can throw us a few curveballs, particularly when it comes to parenting.

Even if you’ve ended up in the “Wait” category, you may have important reasons that require you to begin potty training nonetheless. Have heart! More than half of the children in the world are toilet trained around their first birthday—mainly out of necessity or because of cultural practices. So this shows you that early potty training before readiness
can
be done. It will just require an extra dose of humor, additional patience, more parental involvement, and a bit more planning.

No matter what your goals or plans, if you have scored in the “Wait” category, it’s a good time to read through this book and get yourself acquainted with the process. It’s a great time to review the pre-potty training ideas that begin on page 39 and introduce some of these into your daily routine with your child.

16 to 24:
Time for pre-potty training—get ready!

Don’t throw out those diapers just yet! Your child probably isn’t ready to begin learning to use the potty in earnest, but you can take many helpful steps that will prepare your toddler for the near future. You’ll find lots of ideas in Chapter 3.

You may want to read through the actual potty training steps so that you’re more apt to identify when your child is ready for that next step and so that you’ll be more prepared when that opportune time comes.

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25 to 39:
You can make a choice: either begin to

set things up with pre-potty training or jump right

into toilet training.

Your child is likely showing many of the signs of readiness for potty training. There may be a few things that don’t quite click yet. Or possibly something’s going on in your home that could be disruptive to the potty training process.

As with so many aspects of parenting, there is no one right answer. There really isn’t only one exactly right time to potty train. There are many variables involved in making this decision, and you and your child can easily go either way.

Examine your child’s needs, personality, and readiness. Contemplate your own readiness. Look at your calendar. Read through the chapters on pre-potty training and potty training, and then do what feels right to you.

No matter what direction you choose—either to start slowly with pre-potty training or jump right in to active potty training—as long as you have a positive attitude and use a relaxed, planned approach, your child will likely follow your lead and joyfully embrace this new adventure.

40 to 80:
How exciting! Your toddler is clearly

ready for potty training!

Everything is lined up in your favor for a pleasant toilet training experience. Time to potty!

Even though all the pieces appear to be in line, it’s a good idea to begin by looking over the ideas for pre-potty training (see Chapter 3). These will set the stage 38

The No-Cry Potty Training Solution

for a positive experience. You may find that you are already doing many of these things, and that’s good!

Once you feel confident and prepared, move on to Chapter 4. This chapter will lead you through the process step-by-step to help you achieve a pleasant and successful potty training experience.

3

Pre-Potty Training:

Getting Ready!

When children learn a new skill, they rarely learn it all at once. Typically, they learn in manageable pieces, a little at a time. Think about how your child learned to run. The process began way back when he was an infant and learned to hold up his head and shoulders and to control his body. He progressed to sitting, then to crawling, and on to walking while you held his hands. Soon he was cruising the furniture.

After a time, he took those first shaky steps, and once those were mastered, he began to run. This natural sequence of events took anywhere from ten to twenty months of time.

In the same way that you patiently and methodically helped your child learn to run, you can encourage him to learn about the many details involved in toilet training. In the months before you actively begin potty training, you can do many things that set your child up for smooth sailing when the time is right.

Identify the Act

Every time you change your child’s diaper, you have an opportunity to teach a little bit about elimination.

39

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The No-Cry Potty Training Solution

Making casual comments about elimination is a great way to teach. You might say, “You’ve made a poopie in your diaper. It came out of your bottom.” Or, “Your diaper is wet because you peed. Mommy pees in the potty.”

A few brief explanations over time are helpful. You can explain that the wetness is pee-pee and the brown stuff is poopie. Tell her that they’re leftovers that her body doesn’t need. Explain that a clean, dry diaper is much nicer to wear.

Help your toddler recognize what’s happening when you notice that she’s wetting or filling her diaper:

“You’re going poo-poo. When you get bigger, you’ll do that in the potty.”

If you haven’t already, let her watch you empty the contents of her diaper into the toilet, and let her do the flushing. If you get her involved at an early age, she’ll likely not develop any fears of flushing that sometimes crop up during potty training.

Lucky for you if you catch her tinkling in the bathtub or if you feel that sudden warmth in her diaper against you while carrying her. At these times you can point out what she’s doing and let her know that in time she’ll learn to do it in the potty.

Keep It Natural

Babies and toddlers accept the things that happen in their diaper as normal and natural. It isn’t until siblings, peers, and, yes, even adults teach them there’s something disgusting or funny about these processes that they think otherwise. Try to let your child keep this innocent viewpoint about elimination. This can help