The Nightmare Game (41 page)

“I understand.”

“So, Ben, I’m not making a commitment yet, but I
am really leaning toward staying. I think I could be very happy here.”

“That would be a wise choice, because this really
is a very special place,” he said, looking out over the grounds with both
affection and pride. “I can’t emphasize it enough. You’ll never find another
spot on the face of the earth that can match the amenities this estate has to
offer. You should consider being here an honor. It’s one that Arrosha extends
only to a very select few.”

“About Arrosha,” I said, curious to learn more
about this woman, this professed deity that had, for some obscure reason,
chosen a non-believer like myself to join her elite, exclusive club. “Can you
tell me more about her? Exactly what is she like?”

“Oh, our Goddess is wonderful,” he beamed. “Not
only is she incredibly powerful, but she’s also warm, kind and generous to a
fault. I can’t wait for you to meet her. Once you do, I’m sure that, like the
rest of us, you’ll fall in love with her and most definitely decide to stay.”

“So when do you think that’ll be?”

“Within the next few days. Could be even as early
as tomorrow, but I doubt it. I think she wants you to get settled in a little
more first. I honestly don’t know why she’s handled your arrival so
differently, because the rest of us all met her before she ever brought us to
the mansion.”

“Do I have to decide to stay or leave before I
meet her?”

“Yes, she’s told me as much. That’s why it was so
important for you to see as much of the mansion and the grounds as soon as
possible. You needed to know what you would be saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to. Her
arrival will signal the beginning of your transformation ceremony.”

“What kind of a ceremony is it?”

“It’s just a ceremony that enables Arrosha to tie
her into your energies and yours into hers. She says it’s got something to do
with higher physics or metaphysics, something that’s far beyond our current
scientific comprehension. All you need to know is that it serves only to form a
bond between the two of you so she can transform you.”

“Do I want to be transformed? You’ve been
promising to explain that to me.”

“Yes, I have, and now that we have all of the
other stuff out of the way, it’s the perfect time. Tell me, Ashley, do you like
the changes that you’ve seen in yourself so far?”

“I love them.”

“Fabulous. Then you’ll like being transformed even
better. It’ll make you tall, graceful and beautiful.”

“So what all do I have to do?”

“From your perspective, not much. Arrosha does all
the work and the ceremony is very short. Arrosha stands on one end of the
reflecting pool by the sphinx while you stand at the far end opposite her. I
act as liaison between the two of you because ordinarily, she never allows any
neophyte to be near her from the time she brings them to the mansion until
after the ceremony is completed. You hand me a personal object of yours, which
I then turn over to Arrosha. She says a special blessing over the object and
she’ll transformed you into a vision of loveliness that will never age from
that point on.”

“What does it feel like?” I asked.

“Wonderful. You’ll experience a pleasant tingling
and then everything that’s wrong with you will disappear. You will actually be
able to feel the shift in your energies as the link takes you to a spiritual
plane higher than you ever believed possible. You’ll be more beautiful in all
ways than you ever were before. After that, the object used becomes very
special to you, forever then the symbol of your special link with the Goddess.

“That’s all there is to it and afterward we have a
little celebration in the city at our private club, The Crypt, to honor your
full inclusion into our little circle, where we indulge in the special drinks
that Arrosha provides us.”

“So what kind of object do I have to use?”

“It’s usually something of sentimental value. For
example, I used a set of cufflinks that meant a lot to me that Geoffrey had given
me in my previous life. Illea used her mother’s music box, the one that’s on
the dresser in your bedroom. Robert used an object from an outing that was
particularly meaningful to him, a plastic ring from a vending machine at a
seaside resort. Everyone has some kind of special memento with which to work.”

“I don’t. All I have are the clothes that I was
wearing when I got here,” I said. “I don’t even have anything with me that’s
even as personal as a driver’s license.”

“That’s very true. But you never know, maybe that
shirt you had on had some special meaning?”

“What kind of special meaning could a shirt
possibly have?”

“What kind of meaning can a plastic ring have? You
can’t go simply by the value that the outside world sets upon an object. Who
knows, maybe someone you really love gave it to you but you just can’t remember
that right now. Don’t worry about it, Arrosha will tell you what you need for
the ceremony. It’s always her decision in the end. She’ll find something of
yours to use, I have no doubt about that.”

“I don’t know, Ben. This feels kind of funny to
me.” Something in the back of my mind whispered that this might just be the
catch in the deal that I was dreading. “This changes things. I was right at the
verge of wanting to join, but something about this ceremony just doesn’t feel
right to me. I wish I knew what it was, but I can’t put my finger on it. Do I
really have to go through with it in order to stay here?”

“Absolutely. It’s the one condition that’s not
open to debate.”

“Oh, dear. I really don’t know what to say. What
happens if this a deal breaker and I decide that I don’t want to stay after
all?”

“Arrosha will most probably make you forget this
mansion because only those within the group can share the knowledge that this
place exists. Other than that, nothing. We’ll miss you, that’s all. You’ll just
go back to your old life. Arrosha or one of us will take you back to New
Orleans. We’ll find a place for you to stay until you remember where you’re
from and then we’ll arrange to get you home. All you need to do is to decide
before the ceremony, the timing of which is completely at Arrosha’s discretion.
All she asks of you, however, is that you be wholehearted about whatever
decision you make.”

“If I decide to stay, Ben, will I never be allowed
to leave?”

“Actually, quite the opposite is true. If you
decide to leave, you’ll never be allowed to come back. But if you decide to
stay, it’s like I told you yesterday, Ashley, not one of us is a prisoner here.
We’re here only because we want to be. You asked me what Arrosha is like, so
let me tell you more to help you decide. She is obviously very generous to us,
but more than that, she’s very protective of us. She’s loving and kind,
sometimes even sentimental. She calls us her own children and treats us as
such. Really, Ashley, I wish you would seriously consider staying with our
group. You’ve seen that the lifestyle here is fabulous, that staying with us
can offer you more than anything else can, but it goes beyond that. We’re a
real family here. I know that Illea and most of the rest feel you would be a
wonderful addition and I don’t have to tell you that Robert wants desperately
for you to join us. As for me, I think you’d be a fabulous friend and I would
be so sad to see you go. Frankly, I think our little group has been too small
for too long, at least for my taste. It would be wonderful to add a new member
and so far, you’re fitting in very well with us.”

“I’m sure Geoffrey wouldn’t agree with you,”

“Forget Geoffrey. Once you’re transformed, he can’t
help but accept you because the transformed you will be an ever-present
reminder that Arrosha has accepted you, given you her ‘seal of approval’, so to
speak. He’s not even a part of the equation, so don’t let him have any role in
your decision. I’ll tend to Geoffrey and make sure he makes good on his promise
to be nice to you until then. I really think it’s just a matter of my making up
my recent absences to him so he won’t have any excuse to be jealous any longer.
Once I convince him that your friendship is no threat to our relationship,
he’ll come to like you as much as I do.”

“I hope you’re right, Ben, because I don’t like to
be anywhere that I’m not wanted.”

“I understand. Don’t worry about him another
minute. I haven’t mentioned any of the negative changes in him to Arrosha yet,
because I didn’t want to get him into trouble, especially not if I could
correct his behavior myself. But if he doesn’t come around, if he doesn’t
change his attitude toward you, I will have no choice but to take it up with
her. She’ll set him right with no ‘if’s’, ‘and’s’, or ‘but’s’ about it. Arrosha
is a kind, indulgent Goddess, but rest assured, she will not stand for Geoffrey
getting in the way of what she wants. If it comes to that, I’d certainly hate
to be in his shoes when it happens. Does that help you in any way make up your
mind?”

“Thanks, Ben, it does. Is there anything else I
need to keep in mind while I’m making my decision to stay or to leave?”

“No. Not really, except that the sooner you make
your decision, the better. I know that Arrosha is hoping you’ll stay with us.
When I spoke with her this morning, she asked me how I thought you’d done with
the essence and the water and whether you liked it here and felt at home. She
really wants to do everything she can to make sure that you feel comfortable
with us, so she’s asked me to give her status updates about how you feel about
staying, about what your concerns and doubts are, that sort of thing. I know
she doesn’t want to wait too long for you to make up your mind. My advice to
you is to make up your mind by tomorrow morning.”

“Tomorrow morning?”

“It would be helpful.”

“That doesn’t give me much time to decide, does
it?”

“It’s why I took you around the grounds today, to
show you what we have to offer you.”

“I’ll have to think hard about this later, when
I’m alone. Ben, I like it here. A lot. But do I want stay here to live? That I
don’t know yet. The bottom line is that it’s hard to make any kind of a
decision without my memories.

“I told you already that I don’t know if I have a
boyfriend waiting for me back home, but that’s just one scenario I’m worried
about. What if I have children or elderly parents that are counting on me to
come home? What if I have any pets that would be left homeless if I don’t
return? If I knew that I had no ties, then sure, I’d love to stay here. I’d be
a fool to pass up this lifestyle, but Ben, I don’t want to leave anybody or
anything in the lurch. I don’t want to cause any person or creature suffering
or hardship just because I’m up here having a grand old time and living the
life of Riley.”

“Of course there’s no way for me to know what your
circumstances back home are, Ashley,” Ben countered, “but I can tell you that I
doubt seriously that any of those scenarios would be the case.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Because Arrosha is not in the habit of choosing
people with outside ties. She’s never put any of us into such a bind and I
can’t see her putting you into one, either,” he reassured me. “Ever. Not one of
us here had anybody or any living thing to leave behind at the time that she
rescued us, so why would you be different? Some of us did have financial
obligations, but she made sure those were taken care of. In the very outside
chance that you would have anyone, she would more than provide for them. In the
case of children, she would allow you to bring them here. In the case of pets,
she would find loving homes for them and she would arrange for you to visit
them on your trips to the outside world. The same goes for parents or siblings.
However, when I speak to her tonight, I’ll be certain to pass on your concerns
and make sure they are addressed and, if need be, taken care of in a way that
will make you happy.”

“Really? That’s very good to know.”

“Sure. Don’t fret so much, okay?” he said.
“Ashley, for your sake, I really do wish that your memory would return. I know
there’s nothing that I could say that would ever reassure you the way that
would. So while we’re on the subject again, tell me, has anything else at all
come back since the reflecting pool?”

“Not really. Why do you keep asking?”

“Arrosha told me to keep an eye on your progress.
Your memory is of greatest concern to her.”

“Why?”

“She’s concerned about you. We all are.”

“Sad to say, my memories are about as much out of
commission as they were the last time you asked. Aside from that annoying
nagging feeling I told you about, it’s just more trivia and generalities, none
of which are helping at all. Other than that, zilch.”

“Well now, don’t get too discouraged,” he offered.
“You have to take into account that you were terribly sick when you showed up
here. You’d been awfully traumatized, almost to the point of death. I’m sure
that’s got to have something to do with the memory loss. I know we joked about
it earlier, but it is possible that your amnesia could very well be a product
of your mind blocking out whatever trauma put you into such a bad state in the
first place. Look on the bright side, you’re on the mend now. Once you’re mind
is completely healed, I’ll bet you’ll even start remembering things you blocked
out years ago.”

“Oh boy, lucky me.”

“There now, that’s the spirit,” he chuckled. “All
you have to do is relax and give it time.”

“What if I don’t have time, Ben?”

“What do you mean by that, Ashley?”

“I don’t know. It’s just a feeling I get
sometimes.”

“What kind of feeling?”

“I feel pressured, like there’s something that I
need to be doing that I’m not. Something important.”

“Well no wonder you’re finding it so hard to make
a decision. Does it help you to talk about it?”