The Miting (24 page)

“It’s not a joke, Ada. I’ve found true peace, and I know that Jesus has forgiven me my sins. Please, let me explain—”

Ada gave Leah a dismissive wave of her hand and walked out the door, leaving her sister rooted to the floor, sorrow washing over her.

Maem
raised her eyebrows in surprise as she saw Leah approach the laundry shed later that day. She glanced away, breaking eye contact.

“Maem?”

She glanced up, pursing her lips.

“Um, I’ve been thinking, and I … I just wanted you to know …” Leah’s voice trailed off nervously.

Maem
glanced toward her shaking hands, and Leah noticed the lines in her face soften, but still she turned away.

“Since you and
Daet
already believe I’m sinning, I’ve decided I may as well go to the Bible studies.” She paused, but the relief that she’d finally revealed her plans was immense. “I love you both very much”—she faltered, emotion choking her voice—“but I want to know more about
Gott
and His Word.”

Maem
continued to hold her lips in a tight grimace, as though it was hard for her to not respond to Leah.

Leah paused, waiting for some tiny sign that her mother understood. When nothing came, she continued speaking. “I just wanted you to know so you wouldn’t worry about where I am Tuesday night.”

She hesitated. “And
Maem
…” Again
Maem
’s set shoulders and tight mouth revealed nothing but censure. “I … I am truly sorry you’ve been hurt by this.”

Leah stifled a sob and turned away. Nothing more could be done. Her beloved parents had shut her out.

C
HAPTER
T
HIRTEEN

W
ith the bishop’s visit and the preachers’ warnings piled up inside her, Leah burrowed down into her covers the next morning, listening with an aching heart as her family left for the Sunday service. She couldn’t remember ever missing church, and wondered what would be said of her absence. Brushing away tears, she dressed and went to the kitchen, pulling her cape off the hook as she headed out. Not sure where to go, Leah started down the lane, desperate to get away from her sorrow-filled house. She walked for twenty minutes before realizing she’d gone halfway to the general store.

The frustration and humiliation of the last few days tumbled in her head, and she knew the decision facing her would change her life forever. Would she live like an outcast among her family or deny her faith and become a “good” Amish girl again? Both options made her stomach twist in agony. After what seemed like hours of thinking, walking, and praying, she knew she was not going back home again. Others had done it. Others had walked away with nothing but the clothes on their backs, but Leah had never dreamed she’d come to the same decision.

She pulled the heavy glass door open and looked around. The bell on the door of the store had a cheerful ring, mocking her somber mood. On the counter by the register was a phone, and Leah timidly asked the manager if she could use it. He pushed it toward her without a word while she dug the phone number out of her pocket. With shaking hands, she carefully dialed the numbers from the wadded and wrinkled piece of paper and waited for the connection to go through. After several rings, Matthew Schrock answered the phone.

“Hello, Matthew. This is Leah Raber.”

“Leah, I’m happy to hear from you. How are you?”

“The truth is, you were right. It hasn’t gone well.”

Her chin trembled, and she turned her face away from the curious manager, though he tried to pretend he wasn’t listening to her end of the conversation.

She swallowed hard and continued. “I’m afraid I’m not welcome at home anymore, and need to find another place … a place to … um … stay for a while.”

There was a pause. “Oh, I see. I’m very sorry that you’ve had some difficulty, Leah. I’m very sorry to hear that. I always pray that, somehow, it will one day change—this tension between the Amish ways and the born-again Christians, but—” Matthew sighed.

She heard him shuffling through papers. “Leah, I have about an hour before I can leave church—I’ve got a quick meeting to attend. Are you someplace where you’ll be safe and warm?”

“Yes. I walked to Raysburg General Store.”

“Okay. Good. Have you had lunch or anything to eat?”

She shook her head, then realized Matthew couldn’t see her. Her cheeks flamed as she glanced at the store manager, who was smiling. “No, I haven’t had anything to eat. I’m sorry to be such trouble to you, Matthew.”

Matthew answered in a calm voice. “Leah, are you sure this is what you want to do?”

Leah thought for a minute. The truth was she wasn’t
totally
sure, but she knew there was nothing else she could do now. Her home was a battle zone. She needed to get away and think. “Yes, I think so. As much as I can be sure, I guess.”

“Okay. I understand. I have to ask you, though, if you’re of age?”

“Do you mean am I eighteen? No. I’m seventeen. Does that matter?”

“Hmmm. We usually don’t take in anyone under eighteen, but if you’ve already made up your mind, then we’ll make an exception. Is there a chance your parents will call the sheriff to have you taken back home?”

“I don’t know. No one in my family has ever done this before. I guess I didn’t think this through very well, did I? If you say I should go back …” She left the sentence unfinished. She was confused. If she was going to cause the Schrocks trouble, she didn’t want to go there.

Matthew said nothing for a second or two and Leah looked around for the manager. He was cleaning the ice-cream case, but his face showed concern.

“Leah?” Matthew asked.

“Yes—I’m sorry, I’m still here.”

“I’ll talk to Naomi, okay? She should be able to get to you in about twenty minutes. Will you be all right until then?”

“Yes—sure.”

“Good. Why don’t you wait for her at the tables by the ice-cream counter. She’ll be driving a silver pickup.”

“Okay. Thanks, Matthew. I really appreciate it.”

She hung up, and the manager strolled over to place the phone back where it belonged. He eyed her, and she gave him a weak smile. “I’m going to be meeting someone here in about twenty minutes. Is it all right if I wait over there at the tables?” She nodded toward a corner where three tables and sets of chairs stood empty.

“There’s no one in here for ice cream while it’s this cold, so go ahead. If I get a few customers in for lunch, though, you’ll have to make room for them.”

“Thank you.”

Leah walked to the table closest to the window and farthest from the manager. She pulled her cape closer and gazed out. Two or three neighbors rode past in their buggies, but they didn’t even glance toward the store.
The church service must be over.
She checked the clock hanging above the door: one o’clock.
No wonder I’m hungry.

She could feel rumblings and grumblings in her stomach.
I never want to be dependent on anyone else for food or shelter. I will find a job and work.

The manager of the store went about his business, but he appeared to be keeping an eye on her. Leah glanced his way a couple of times and saw curiosity in his eyes, but he didn’t ask anything. About fifteen minutes into her wait, he suddenly appeared at the table and slid a small dish of ice cream across to her. Leah looked up, surprised.

He shrugged, “I had to empty a container. It was getting low. No point in wasting this little bit left in the bottom. If you like butter pecan, you’re welcome to it.”

She thanked him. The first taste of the creamy treat was wonderful. Maybe because she was starving, his kindness added to the pleasure. She savored every bite, and by the time Naomi arrived, she had finished eating it.

Naomi spied her and walked straight over. “Leah, it’s good to see you. How have you been doing?”

“The last week has been hard, but I’m okay.”

“Matthew said you want to leave home today. Is that so?”

“Yes, I have a feeling if I don’t leave, things will only get worse for my family.”

“Is the bishop involved?”

Leah nodded, dropping her eyes in embarrassment.

Naomi gave a reassuring smile. “Don’t be embarrassed. I know how it is. I had troubles similar to yours when I left. It hurts a lot, but in the long run you’ll find that you’re happier and healthier as you grow in your faith. I know it’s not easy and often very hard to start over. In the meantime, we’ll add your family to our prayer list.” She paused. “I’m very sorry you’ve had to make this decision. I was really hoping your parents would accept your new faith.”

Leah couldn’t say another word for fear of crying.

“If you’re ready, we might as well go.”

Leah stood but before she left the shop, she thanked the manager for allowing her to wait in the store and for the ice cream.

He waved away the thanks. “No problem. Glad you liked it.”

Once they were on the road, she sighed and sat back in the seat, wanting to think things through. Naomi had soft music playing on the radio and Leah closed her eyes for a minute and listened. It was a beautiful song with peaceful words and a haunting melody that soothed her troubled heart. Naomi seemed to sense Leah needed time to herself and didn’t try to talk.

Leah opened her eyes and watched the scenery fly past. It always amazed her how cars were so readily available and yet her people never took advantage of the speed, convenience, and comfort. The ride to the Schrocks’ didn’t take long.

“Have you had lunch, Leah?” Naomi asked as they entered her home.

“No, I’m sorry. I was taking a little walk when I suddenly realized I didn’t want to go home. But the store manager gave me some ice cream.”

Naomi got out a loaf of bread and deli ham for a sandwich. She placed an apple and a slice of cheddar cheese on a plate with the ham sandwich, went to another cupboard, took out juice, and served lunch.

Naomi’s kindness touched Leah’s heart. The simple sandwich looked so good, and her stomach rumbled impatiently. As Leah ate, she glanced at the clock and saw it was now nearly two thirty.
Has my family even realized I’ve gone?
A wave of fear at what she was doing flowed over her, followed by a wave of desire for the familiar. What would
Daet
do when they discovered her missing? She closed her mind against her own imagination. Tears threatened to overflow if she didn’t stop thinking about what was likely happening at home right now. She was glad when Naomi interrupted her tortured thinking.

“I don’t mean to pry, Leah, but have your church leaders decided to ban you from church yet unless you repent of your born-again experience?”

Leah nodded, wiping her mouth with the paper napkin Naomi placed in front of her, the stiffness of the paper a sharp contrast to the cotton napkins she’d washed so many times at home. She had a feeling there would be a lot more than just napkins to learn about in the English world. “They came yesterday and told me I’m going down the same path as my friend, Martha. ‘In the grip of Satan,’ they said. It was hard to listen to their words when I knew it was me they were talking about. I’ve never been in trouble before.” She smoothed out the napkin, trying to blink back tears before they fell.

Naomi described how things had been for her when she left. It helped Leah to know she wasn’t the only one struggling with the decision to leave.

“I know you’ll need some clothing. Do you have something in mind you’d like to wear? Some girls want to stay in dresses, while others would like to wear jeans.”

“Really, I haven’t given much thought to what the
Englisher
girls wore, though I tried on a pair of Martha’s jeans once.” Leah shuddered at the unhappy memory.

Naomi chuckled. “I expect that to change soon. It’s been my experience most ex-Amish want to fit in with the English. It’s part of their desire to leave old ways behind and begin anew. For teens, especially, it’s hard to dress in Amish clothes once they leave home. Even English teens have a need to fit in. The former Amish are no different.”

Leah was filled with relief and grateful Naomi was able to understand.

Naomi raised her eyebrows. “Unfortunately, many English think we former Amish lived in a perfect world. Our clothing is a symbol to them of this simple life, but they fail to understand how difficult the Amish life really is. Nothing is simple in the Amish community.” She glanced at Leah. “Many of the English I first met couldn’t understand how much I wanted to leave the rule-laden life behind. I expect you might face some of those people, too. But don’t worry. It will work out.”

She swept crumbs into a little pile by her coffee cup. “Now, let’s move on. We have used and new clothing donated for the ex-Amish. Tomorrow, we can let you look through some of those donations to see if you can find something to wear. You can take your time choosing a few outfits. But first, I think you’ve had a stressful and tiring day, so I’m going to take you down to the apartment we have in the basement. We have one girl staying there now, but she’s with friends from our Mission to Amish People group for the afternoon. You’ll have a chance to settle in and rest before you meet your new roommate.”