The Miting (23 page)

Almost the entire ride home, Jacob talked about plans for the farm, the new shed he was helping construct, and the silly antics of his younger siblings. It felt so good to think about something other than her troubles, to laugh and enjoy the company of such a special friend. Before long, she was safely home.

Jacob lifted her bike down from the back, and she gripped the handlebars, suddenly feeling awkward. Just as she was about to blurt out a good-bye, Jacob put his hand over hers. “Leah, I’ll go with you to the Bible study on Tuesday, if you’re still determined to go.”

“Oh, Jacob. That would be great. Should I call for a ride?”

“Better. It’s too dark now for us to take the horse and buggy.”

“Okay. If you come by tomorrow, I’ll let you know if I get in touch with the Schrocks.”

“See you then. Good night, Leah.” A quick kiss on her lips and he was gone.

C
HAPTER
T
WELVE

W
hen she got up on Saturday morning, Leah found the bishop was not ready to let her be.
Maem
had left a note on the breakfast table saying that Bishop Miller was waiting for her in her father’s shop. With no appetite for breakfast, Leah gulped down a few sips of coffee, took a deep breath, and walked outside with as much confidence as she could muster. When she went in the shop, Leah discovered a grim bishop along with two stone-faced church preachers.

Bishop Miller started right in. “Leah, the preachers would like to counsel you about your sinful ways. You know Preacher Andy Weaver here is someone whose daughter left the church, and he wants to warn you about what can happen to you.”

Andy Weaver was one of the long-winded preachers in the church who tended to preach on everything considered sinful, from rubber tires to riding in cars.

He cleared his throat and stepped forward. Leah glanced at
Daet
, standing in the shadows, his arms folded and his eyes cast downward. His shame made her heart ache, but a surge of irritation swept over her that her parents were being humiliated for nothing important. If only these men would listen to her testimony, then they might not feel she was doing anything bad after all.

From somewhere within herself, she summoned the courage to speak before Preacher Weaver started on his diatribe.

“Excuse me. I need to ask something of you three men. If I listen patiently to your views, would you then agree to hear me out about what I’ve learned from the Bible?”

Daet
’s eyes swung to her, and he stiffened at her boldness. Bishop Miller took note of
Daet
’s frown and sighed. He reluctantly nodded agreement and then asked Preacher Weaver to proceed.

“Leah Raber, I have a word of warning for you.” The man took out a folded piece of paper from his pocket and smoothed it between his hands.

Leah barely stifled an exasperated sigh as she recognized the paper as one he had used several times in church while he was preaching. He cleared his throat importantly and began to read the often-quoted letter:

Dear Father and Mother,

It has been in my mind to write to you for a while, but after leaving, I was afraid of what you’d say to me. I know I have sinned against God, and I wonder how He will ever be able to forgive me. Now that I am married, I fear there is nothing left to do but to beg you to forgive me. I wonder if God will forgive me.

My sins bother me every day, and every night I think of what I have done wrong. I will probably never escape the feeling that I have sinned. I am afraid sometimes that my wrongs against you both will eventually kill you. I am so sorry.

Even though you taught me right and wrong, it is my fault that I decided to do the wrong thing.

I am writing this letter through my tears. I pray every night God will hear my prayers. When I think of how much you must miss me and how hard you tried to raise me right, I feel just terrible. Please do not forget to pray for me, and please, please forgive me.

Andy refolded the letter and tucked it carefully in his pocket. He studied her. “Do you know who wrote that?”

Leah nodded.

He ignored her nod and went on with his message. “It is from a girl like you who thought she knew what was best. She thought the church was too old-fashioned or too strict, but now, as you have heard, she is heartbroken that she left and knows her sinful ways have doomed her. You would do well to listen to her words of sorrow and turn from this path you’re on. It is the path of destruction, the same path Martha Mast has chosen.”

Weaver closed his mouth tightly and stepped back behind the bishop.

Bishop Miller then nodded to the other man, and Preacher Earl Plank rocked on his heels a bit before launching himself forward. He steadied himself inches from Leah’s face. He, too, pulled out a much-folded piece of paper and started on his mini-sermon.

“First of all, this letter is to a man who left, and I think you need to hear what kind of pain his friends felt after he turned away from his Amish community. Listen closely, Leah, so you can hear the truth.”

He rocked back and forth from toes to heels as he read, his deep, slow voice emphasizing each word of admonishment.

Dear David,

Greetings from on High. Out of deep concern for you and your dear family, I tell you to stop and think what you are doing. You know better. This is far from what your parents taught you, and you know it.

Satan has a hold of you. You say the Lord shows you to do this and that. David, how can you say it’s the Lord when you know that is not what you were taught? You say we don’t understand. I think it’s time you realize who doesn’t understand. Satan has you where he wants you. It is sad and sad indeed to see your dear children being so misled. You can turn the Scriptures around as you like, but you cannot change what’s right and wrong …

Leah’s mind began to drift as Preacher Plank’s voice droned on, and she couldn’t help allowing a sigh escape. How could she make these men—and her parents—understand what she’d experienced that night and accept what she now knew to be true? Would these men let her live peacefully among them and still hold tight to her newfound faith? And what of Jacob … would all this be too much for him to bear? Leah sighed again, barely hearing as the preacher continued.

… How can you sit in a worldly vehicle and dress like the world, and drive around like the world, and say the Lord shows you to do these things? It’s unthinkable and terrible, how can you go to sleep at night? Only because Satan has you in his grip!

This is written to you out of deep Christian love and concern for you and your dear family.

Concerned friends,

The Lapps

Earl Plank added a note of warning that she not follow Martha into the pit of hell, then pulled back and let the bishop finish the meeting.

“Again, your parents are heartbroken you are considering the same kinds of things the people in these letters did and the same path as Martha Mast,” Bishop Miller began, his voice growing louder with each word. “Heed the word of the Lord: set yourself apart and don’t let pride turn your eyes away from the truth. Cast off this lie of Satan and don’t let him get hold of you anymore. Repent and come back to believing the things the
Ordnung
and our traditions have always upheld as truth.”

He turned to the two men who accompanied him and ended with, “Our forefathers never for a minute doubted we have been blessed by knowing the truth—to having the
Ordnung
to guide us and our church to help us make the decisions all of us need in order to live a humble and helpful life in our community. Don’t turn away now from all you’ve been taught. Don’t walk the path Martha has chosen to walk.”

The repeated references to Martha burned Leah’s heart. This was not fair to her or to Martha. She waited until he was finished. The group of men stood silently, their imposing wall of rebuke intimidating Leah. She steeled herself and spoke.

“All my life I’ve obeyed my parents and followed the rules laid down for me, but last week, I experienced Jesus’ grace for my soul—” Leah was so filled with emotion that her voice nearly betrayed her. Before the men could interrupt, she hurried on. “I came to the understanding He paid the price for my sins on the cross. I can’t do
anything
to deserve or to earn this salvation. I’ve looked at the Scriptures myself, and I finally understand them. I now know that my works and my good deeds can’t begin to cover up the sins and troubles I am born into. But God, through His Son, has offered me hope. I don’t have to do anything but accept this gift—not works, or following the
Ordnung
perfectly—nothing but saying ‘I accept this gift, Lord, and I confess and repent of my sins. Cover them all with your blood.’

“And as for Martha”—Leah paused, looking each of them in the eye—“you three surely know what drove her from us—the abuse from her stepbrother Abner and then having to live in the same house with him, with no help from the church, no support for her sorrow. Nothing was done to make him feel his own shame, but for Martha, there was no mercy, no love, just guilt heaped upon guilt—”

“Leah! You have no right to discuss that with these men; they have done their duty for that girl!”

She fell silent at her father’s interruption, focusing on the men, trying to judge their reactions.

Bishop Miller spoke. “Martha Mast accused her stepbrother, and he accepted our judgment. When he is allowed back to church, his confession and repentance will be accepted. Martha has offered no recent confession nor shown any sign of repentance.”

“But she’s hurt, and no one offered to help her!” Leah exclaimed.

Bishop Miller put up a hand. “This matter is not yours and has been taken care of by the church. I’ll not discuss it with you.” His expression shut down further argument.

She hesitated, waiting for the rest of the men to say something, but it appeared they were finished speaking. Leah sighed. At least she’d had a chance to speak. In spite of the turmoil in the room, they knew just where she stood.

Bishop Miller shook his head sadly and motioned for the men who were with him to leave. One last time, he turned to her and warned that she was terribly confused and listening to Satan. “You must
want
to come back to the church, Leah, and confess you have fallen prey to the deceiver before we can do anything more for you. Until you do this, I agree with your parents that they should have limited contact with you. They do this out of love and not hate, Leah—as do we all—with the hope it will set you to thinking and cause you to change your mind.

“I have the unfortunate task of asking you not to come to church until you’re ready to repent and leave this rebellion. We can’t have the other youth thinking you’re being encouraged in your sin. May
Gott
help you, sister.”

He nodded his good-bye to
Daet.
The trio trouped out, their task fulfilled.

Limited contact … not come to church …
Leah was momentarily stunned to finally hear the words but not surprised.

She eyed
Daet
, but he ignored her and walked away to the back of the shop to start work. His stooped shoulders stabbed her heart. Again, deep regret filled her that he and
Maem
were made to suffer over her decision.

She left the shop and stumbled back to her room, feeling numb. There she slipped to the floor and prayed again that the Lord would help her make the right decisions. She didn’t want to abandon her faith. “Lord, help me understand. Give me wisdom.”

She wiped the tears that covered her face and got up, not sure what was next for her. Moving to the window, she stared at the tranquil fields and hills so dear and familiar to her.

She wondered if Jacob would be coming to the shop. If so, he’d be told what had happened.
Daet
would, no doubt, let Jacob know there would be no hard feelings if he decided not to pursue his relationship with Leah.

Why does it have to be this way, God? Will I be forced to choose between my Savior and my family?

The world around her seemed threatening and dark. Her room, once a sanctuary, had become ominous and stifling. Far worse than feeling like a stranger in a foreign land, she was now branded an enemy. A sinner who’d finally found forgiveness, only to have the bishop label her rebellious, caught in the grip of the Devil.
Dear Gott, help me cling to Your truth …

“Leah … Leah …” A soft knock interrupted her thoughts. It was Ada. She hurried to the door. Her sister stood in the hallway, looking cautiously over her shoulder before whispering to Leah, “Can I come in?”

“Yes, surely.” Leah swung the door wide. “Please, sneak in any time you want. I’ve missed talking to you.”

She gave Ada an impetuous hug, but her sister received the overture of affection coldly. This was not like Ada, and it broke Leah’s heart. Ada stepped around her to sit on the window seat.

“I’ve only come to tell you to do the right thing. You’re turning our family upside down, and you’re causing
Maem
and
Daet
embarrassment. You have to stop this right now.” Ada’s face radiated anger and recrimination.

“Ada, I’m not doing this on purpose. I’m only—”

Ada stood. “I’m not here to argue with you. At first, I found your interest in the Bible to be kind of exciting, but now, I think your selfish behavior is awful. Have you seen the suffering on
Maem
’s face? You have to stop and consider the rest of us. If you don’t care what people think of you, you should at least think about what people are saying about
Maem, Daet
, Benny, and me. You’ve been at the quiltings—you know how the ladies will be talking us up and down. They’ll find fault with
Maem
and
Daet.
They’ll snicker behind their hands when
Maem
and I show up. How
could
you do this to your own family? I don’t understand you at all. I thought it was like a joke in the beginning, but now—”