The Mason List (3 page)

I watched
one of the hospital staff wedge two small cots between the bed and window.  It
was a tight fit.  Dr. Mason came in with some blankets, pillows, and a few
towels. 

“You know
where the bathroom is with the shower.  It’s shared with these six rooms on
this wing.  You’d be fine takin’ showers in the evenin’s.  The patients usually
have ‘em in the mornin'.”  He looked at my father and nodded a goodbye.  My
father looked at me. 

“Alex. 
It won’t be like this forever.  I promise.  We will be ok.  It’s just going to
take some time.”

His words
were meant to comfort me but his eyes begged for reassurance again.  Everything
about our relationship seemed reversed and twisted.  I gritted my fingers into
the palms of my hands.  I needed composure.  When did I stop being the child
and become the rock for my father?  I nodded in agreement.  It completely
sucked.  At the time I should be getting a bedtime story, I was lying to my
father, so he didn’t have another breakdown.

I settled
on the cot and focused on the ceiling as I tried to drift off to sleep.  I
heard the monitors tracking the remaining signs of life coming from my
mother.   I smelled the hospital.  It always had a rotten stench that infested
your nose and wouldn’t leave; a mix of bad food, urine, and cleanser intended
to wipe away the stench.  To me, it was the smell of death.  

After
tossing around for an hour, I got up to use the rest room.  I heard people
moaning deathly groans from their beds.  I shoved my hands on each side of my
head to block out the awful sounds. 

I needed
something to release this feeling.  I would never sleep with this twisted
aggravation circling through my thoughts on the brink of eruption.  Two crystal
glass dishes, the size of my hand, sat on the decorative table by the
elevator.  I slipped the cold objects under my shirt and snuck to the small
balcony at the end of the hall.  The sticky air caused sweat to bead up on my
forehead.  With a large swing, the first glass item hit the pavement below. 
Smash!
 
The air rushed in my lungs.  I could breathe.  I launched the second one
feeling the anticipation build as I waited for the crashing sound. 
Smash!

I slipped
through the balcony door and drug my aching feet back to the room.  The small
sliver of release disappeared into the moans of the patients.  My heart felt
like the inside of dark clouded thunderstorm.  Our fate was now in the hands of
Dr. Mason.  My mother just kept hanging on.  Our lives remained stuck in this
limbo.  It would never get better as long as she continued to drag on and on. 
I wish she would just let go. 
I wish she would just die!
 

I pulled
the blanket over my head to block out the awful thoughts and bit my lip until I
tasted the salty blood.

Chapter 6

When
I was eight…

I peeked
through the slit in the curtains that blocked the sunshine from flowing across
the hospital room.  The start of a new day remained hidden beneath the thick
drapes.   My father left earlier.  I stayed in the room staring at the clouds
in the distance.  The white puffs filled the sky without a single flying
horse.  I wondered if God was watching me right now.  My father always talked
about God watching over us.  It was just something I couldn’t understand.  I
didn’t feel like I was being watched by anyone accept maybe the nurses lurking
around the corners. 

A knock
on the door rattled my attention away from the window.  I turned around to see
a lady standing in the doorway.  She had a stern expression on her face,
surrounded by beautiful, blonde hair.  My eyes trailed down her tiny figure at
the expensive dress suit made of tan silk, accented with a strand of pearls
just visible under the collar.

“Hello,
you must be Alexandra.  I’m Eva Lynn Mason.  Is your father here?”

I don’t
know if I was more startled by her sudden appearance or the fact she called me
Alexandra.  I felt self-conscious in my crinkled up shirt and jeans.  I often
just slept in my clothes and never bothered to change.  Sometimes I wore the
same thing for days so I didn’t have to wash it out in the sink.  I knew I
smelled, but it didn’t matter when my home was our car.  It smelled too.

“Now,
young lady.  You really should speak when someone asks you a question.  Do you
know where your father is?  I brought both of you lunch.”   

Mesmerized
by her strong Texas drawl, I had failed to notice the large container in her
hands.  I finally spoke up and said, “I’m Alex.  He’s not here.” 

“Well,
Alexandra,” she said with a stressed emphasis, pulling out each syllable. 
Every word took twice as long when they left her flawless mouth. “I guess I
will just have to wait until he returns, and please call me Mrs. Mason.”   She
turned and sat the container on the table by my sleeping mother who was oblivious
to everything.   

While I
contemplated Dr. Mason’s other half, something in the hallway caught my
attention.  It was a boy.  He leaned against the wall, just staring at the
floor as if to say,
I would rather be anywhere but here
.  The boy looked
about the same age as me, but it was hard to tell.  He was really tall, but so
was I.  He looked over to where I stood in the doorway. 

I froze
as he stared at me.  The boy had blue eyes outlined with thick, black
eyelashes.  Blue eyes so bright and clear, like sunshine on a cloudless day. 
His black hair was a little shaggy and fell across his face almost covering the
left eye.  His hand went up and smoothed the hair to the side.  His face took
on a mischievous grin as the hair fell back in place over his blue eye. 

“Don’t
just stand out in the hallway taking up space.  Be useful, Jessup.  Go to your
father’s office and bring back some plates.”  

I watched
Mrs. Mason with fascination.  I’d never met anyone like her.  So elegant, yet
she held a commanding presence that ate up the whole room.

“Ok,
Mother,” he paused and then looked at me, “You wanna come too?  It ain’t very
far.”  

“Jessup,
please speak correctly.” Mrs. Mason struck again but the look on her face was
more effective than her words.  She had just the right authority in her stare
that made you want to never be on her bad side.

“Yes,
ma’am,” he answered as he disappeared through the door.  I stood there a second
then took off behind him.  We walked side by side past a few rooms before he
said anything. 

“Don’t
worry about Mother.  She’s not too bad most of the time.”  I looked over at him
and he glanced back.  “Want some Skittles?”  He pulled a half-eaten package out
of his pocket and tilted the bag up to his lips.

 I
watched as he chewed the large wad of candy in his mouth.  I’d never seen
someone with eyes that color of blue against such tan skin.  He must spend
hours running through the sun.  As I studied his face, I was fascinated by how
very different he looked from my pale, ivory skin and faint, red lashes. 

“Why’re
you starin’ at me?”  He wrinkled his eyes at me.  Heat filled my cheeks,
burning as red as my hair.

“No
Skittles.  Um, so, um, your name is Jessup?” I grasped for something to help
recover from my embarrassment.  

“No. 
Well, yes.  I guess you ain’t from ‘round Arlis.  Most people’s heard of the
Jessups here.  We own Sprayberry.  It’s a ranch, ya know.  The kind with like
oil and cattle and stuff.”  I nodded along like those were normal things to
just own.  “We’ve got horses, and it’s really big, like you can ride for hours
before you get to the other side.” 

I nodded
as he kept talking and crunching at the same time.  “Mother named me after
‘em.  She was Eva Lynn Jessup before she married my dad.  Family legacy thing. 
At least that’s what she tells me anyway.  I think it’s stupid,” he said,
kicking a wadded up piece of paper in the floor. 

I tried
to process everything he had just told me about the Masons and the Jessups. 
They must be pretty rich to have a ranch like he described.  I tried to think
of something to say back; it felt a little weird talking to a strange boy.  I
talked mostly to my father the last few months.

 Jess
pushed a few strands of shaggy hair off his forehead.  I looked down at his
jeans with holes in the knees and a faded-out T-shirt.  Instead of sneakers,
Jess wore one very expensive pair of cowboy boots.  He looked a little sloppy,
but it was in the rich kid kind of way.

“So your
first name is Jessup and your family’s last name is Jessup.  That kind of sucks
having it the same, I guess.”

“Hey,
that’s not nice.” He bumped my shoulder, catching me off-guard.  I looked at
him in surprise as he raised his eyebrows and smiled.  I didn’t answer, so he
just kept talking.  “No one but Mother calls me Jessup.  I’m really just plain
old Jess.  ”

“Nice to
meet you.  I guess I’m just plain old Alex.”

I felt
those blue eyes looking me over.  They slide from my hair to the ratty, gray
canvas shoes.  My little toe poked through a hole on the left one between the
fabric and white plastic.  He noticed but didn’t say much.  Jess just shrugged
and said, “I think you look like an Alex.”

I felt
the heat flood my cheeks.  Was that an insult?  I rubbed my sweaty palms across
my thrift store jeans.  I knew they were boy jeans because they were the only
ones that fit my long legs.  My red hair was bobbed at my chin.   Without my
mother, it had been a while since my long hair held braids or bows.  My father
cut it off before the move to make it easier to manage.  His fingers just couldn’t
get the twisting into something that even resembled a braid.  With the
chin-length crop, I had the hair of Orphan Annie just without the curls.

I felt
sad again, and so much older than eight.  After moving around, sitting in
hospitals, and taking care of my father; I grew up far beyond my age.  It’s
strange how the reality of a situation could appear out of nowhere and just
slap you in the face.  I was a poor, homeless girl with ugly hair and ugly
shoes.  I looked back up at Jess.  At least my eyes had no tears left to
further embarrass me.

“Let’s
just get the plates and go back.  I’m sure she’s waiting.”  My tone was a
little sharper than I’d intended.  Something changed on Jess’s face, like I’d
just yelled at him.

“Hey,
what’d I do?  I thought we were talkin’.”  He studied me for moment trying to
figure it out.  “What’d I say, Alex?” 

We really
didn’t know each other.  Maybe Jess didn’t intend to be mean.  I tried to give
him a smile, but it felt foreign on my face.  I didn’t want to offend this boy. 
We needed the Masons right now.  It was an irritating thought.  As much as I
hated the charity, I had to at least appear grateful until we could get back on
our own.   Making Jess mad might just get us kicked out the hospital. 

“It’s
ok.  Let’s just get the stuff and go back to the room,” I finally said with a
shrug.  I fought the urge to turn my eyes to the floor.  I just didn’t know how
to do this anymore.  I had to work harder to have a normal conversation with
someone my own age.

Jess
looked me over again without a word.  The blue eyes scanned every dirty, grimy
piece of me.  An odd feeling spread through my chest as we stood facing each
other.  I was pretty sure he could see inside of me.  Silent and watching,
those clear blue eyes reflected how dark I felt.  The anger, the shame, and the
complete lack of hope.  His eyebrows wrinkled into a frown while the wheels
under his shaggy mop came to an internal conclusion.

“Stay
here.”  He flashed a quick smile and disappeared.  I stood in the hall as Jess went
into his father’s office and came back with the plates.  I looked into his wide
grin and twinkling blue eyes.     

“Come
on…race ya!” He took off running down the hall.  I paused and then I ran after
him.  It felt crazy and strange.  Our shoes pounded against the tile floor,
like a pack of animals.  My feet hurt in the tight canvas, but I didn’t care. 
I had a burning need to catch him.  Jess brushed too close to a cart of
supplies and it tipped over.  The crash echoed through the hall.  I accidentally
kicked a nurse as I jumped over bed pans and containers covering the floor.

“I’m
sorry!” I yelled back while trying to gain speed.  Jess reached the doorway
before I did.  Running fast, I couldn’t slow down as I plowed right into Jess. 
We tumbled to the ground, laughing and out of breath. 

“You
might be some fun after all,” he said, smiling into my face.

“Yeah,
well that wasn’t fair.  I could have beaten you.”  The words come out in short
gasps while I sucked in air from running.  “You had a head start and threw the
cart at me.” 

“Whatever
makes ya feel better,
Alex
,” he taunted back.

“Ahem.” 
We turned to see the very upset nurse I’d collided with just moments earlier. 
Her arms were crossed, a deep scowl on her face. 

“Where’s
your mother, Mr. Mason?  I’m sure she would love to know that you’re up to
trouble again.”

 We
looked at each other a little longer.  A giggle escaped my lips, and we both
busted out laughing.  As the sound echoed in my ears, I realized it had been a
very long time since I’d felt like a real kid.

“
Now,
Mr.
Mason.  And your friend needs to come too.”

Jess
turned, and I followed him into the room with the nurse behind us.  Mrs. Mason
had the food set out in a proper lunch display, despite the fact it was in a
hospital room.  My father was back, and they appeared deep in discussion.  Next
to my mother’s bed, a bouquet of fresh yellow flowers sat in a crystal vase. 
Just
another gift from the Masons
, I presumed.  The thick curtains were open. 
As sunlight flowed through the window, the sickness faded into the ugly,
painted walls of the room.

Our life
had transformed into different scene from twenty-four hours ago.  These Masons
didn’t just come into your life slowly; they arrived with the force of a
hurricane.  I glanced over at the boy with bright blue eyes and he smiled at
me.   I felt the corners of my lips creep up on the sides.  His happy face was
more contagious than any infectious, nasty bit of cancer.  In just a few short
minutes, Jess Mason had made me truly smile from the inside out.