The Magykal Papers (22 page)

S
OME
E
MPLOYEES OF THE
M
ANUSCRIPTORIUM

O. BEETLE BEETLE

Beetle grew up in the Ramblings in two rooms beneath the Heaps, and Beetle’s earliest memories are of his mother banging on the ceiling with a broomstick, yelling, “For heaven’s sake, be
quiet
!”

Beetle was an only child and lived alone with his mother. Beetle’s father, Brian Beetle, died before he was born after being bitten by a spider hidden in a box of bananas.
^*

At the age of eleven, much to his mother’s delight, Beetle passed the highly competitive Manuscriptorium Entrance Examination and was taken on as General Dogsbody. When the Inspection Clerk fell off his sled, Beetle was entrusted to take over the weekly inspections of the Ice Tunnels. Beetle is Septimus Heap’s best friend. They share a love of FizzFroot and a hatred of
Darke Magyk
.

COLIN PARTRIDGE

Colin had once been unwillingly recruited into the Custodian Guard. He was from a small village on the edge of the Sheeplands. Partridge was a dreamy child who spent his days minding his father’s sheep—and losing more of them than his father cared to count. Colin’s father despaired of his son. So when the Custodian Guard Recruiting Party arrived at the Partridge sheep farm promising to “make a man out of your son,” Partridge’s father had young Colin packed and ready in no time. Luckily for Colin, he arrived at the end of the Supreme Custodian’s regime. He signed up for the Second-Chance Scheme and was snapped up by the Manuscriptorium. Partridge loves being a scribe and has no wish to return to losing sheep.

BILL FOX

Known to all as Foxy, he is the son of the disgraced ex–Chief Hermetic Scribe, Hugh Fox. Foxy, a lowly scribe, is extremely tall and thin and prone to fainting spells, but despite his being a bit of a wimp, Beetle likes Foxy. It is Foxy who introduced him to sausage sandwiches, and in an emergency in the Manuscriptorium, it is to Foxy whom Beetle will turn. Foxy does his best but often ends up in the Manuscriptorium infirmary in times of trouble. Jillie Djinn terrifies him, but Foxy enjoys his work.

ROMILLY BADGER

A new recruit who scored highly in the last Manuscriptorium Entrance Examination. Romilly has beautiful handwriting and a wicked sense of humor. Jillie Djinn has already had to speak to her about laughing on duty and bad timekeeping. Partridge very much hopes that she will not be dismissed.

EPHANIAH GREBE

The Manuscriptorium’s Conservation, Preservation and Protection Scribe. He lives in the cellars under the Manuscriptorium and is rarely seen aboveground. Ephaniah had only just begun work at the Manuscriptorium when he was ambushed by a Rat Hex. It was a permanent Hex, but Morwenna the Witch Mother managed to undo some of the effects, leaving Ephaniah as part rat, part man. Ephaniah is a skilled and painstaking Conservation Scribe and can rescue even the most damaged papers, Spells and keepsakes.

H
OW THE
C
HIEF
H
ERMETIC
S
CRIBE
I
S
Picked

STEP 1

The current Chief Hermetic Scribe must die or retire.

STEP 2

Each Manuscriptorium scribe places his or her pen into the large enameled
Draw Pot
.

STEP 3

The outgoing Chief Hermetic Scribe, or the most senior scribe, takes the
Pot
into the Hermetic Chamber. It is left there overnight.

STEP 4

In the morning, the youngest scribe is sent to the Chamber. One pen will be lying on the desk while all the others will remain in the
Pot
.

STEP 5

Whoever is the owner of the pen on the desk is the new Chief Hermetic Scribe.

A N
OTE
: The
Draw
has been used for thousands of years. Only the best are
Picked
. Most scribes toil away their entire lives without ever being
Picked
. The position of Chief Hermetic Scribe is a great honor, and those
Picked
must be serious, dedicated and fair. And preferably not given to counting haddock.

D
AILY
A
PPOINTMENT
D
IARY OF
JILLIE DJINN, C
HIEF
H
ERMETIC
S
CRIBE
(CHS)

DIARY KEEPER

O. Beetle Beetle

Monday

TIME
:
9:22 A.M
.

WITH
:
Silas Heap

REASON FOR APPOINTMENT
:
To ask for twenty-one pamphlet copies at discounted Ordinary Wizard rate.

NOTES
:
Three-and-a-half minutes late. CHS refused to see.

ACTION
:
OBB agreed to OW discount. Scribe employed: Scribe Foxy. To be collected 9:00 A.M. tomorrow.

TIME
:
2:55 P.M
.

WITH
:
Terry Tarsal

REASON FOR APPOINTMENT
:
Delivery of shoes.

NOTES
:
On time.

ACTION
:
CHS declared shoe s unsatisfactory. Rescheduled for Tuesday 10:08 A.M
.

Tuesday

TIME
:
9:00 A.M
.

WITH
:
Silas Heap

REASON FOR APPOINTMENT
:
To collect pamphlets.

NOTES
:
Arrived 10:07 A.M
.

ACTION
:
OBB handed over pamphlets. Work satisfactory, apart from one pamphlet slightly smudged. Not charged for. Full payment received.

Tuesday

TIME
:
10:08 A.M
.

WITH
:
Terry Tarsal

REASON FOR APPOINTMENT
:
To deliver shoes for CHS (see previous day).

NOTES
:
On time but refused to wait. Accused Silas Heap of “blathering on and on while some people had work to do.”

ACTION
:
OBB asked Mr. Tarsal to leave shoes. Assured him shoes would reach CHS ASAP. Mr. Tarsal left shoes.

SUBSIDIARY NOTE
:
Door slamming has caused second paper stack on the left window to collapse. OBB asked Scribe Partridge to rebuild.

Wednesday

TIME
:
3:19 P.M
.

WITH
:
Ma Custard

REASON FOR APPOINTMENT
:
Witnessing of signature.

NOTES
:
One minute early.

ACTION
:
Contract for new licorice supplier Signed and Sealed.

SUBSIDIARY NOTE
:
Client left large tub of banana fizzes for scribes. Thank-you letter sent.

Thursday

TIME
:
10:12 A.M
.

WITH
:
Marcia Overstrand

REASON FOR APPOINTMENT
:
Not given.

NOTES
:
Sixteen minutes late but insisted on being seen.

ACTION
:
New appointment.

TIME
:
10:28 A.M
.

NOTES
:
On time.

ACTION
:
CHS provided Scribe Badger to facilitate access to Hidden shelf number three.

TIME
:
4:02 P.M
.

WITH
:
Silas Heap

REASON FOR APPOINTMENT
:
Counter-Feet Sealed Box repair.

NOTES
:
Three-and-a-half minutes late.

ACTION
:
CHS refused to see. Box to go in night basket for EG.

Friday

TIME
:
2:16 P.M
.

WITH
:
Marcia Overstrand

REASON FOR APPOINTMENT
:
Not given.

NOTES
:
Arrived 2:10 P.M. Requested to be seen immediately. Refused to wait until appointment time.

SUBSIDIARY NOTE
:
Scribe Partridge rebuilt second paper stack on the left window again.