The Madam (4 page)

I wanted everything that my mother had and
was.

I wanted to be her.

All it took was one night alone in her
bedroom for me to want what I didn’t know would inevitably become
mine.

Two
more years went by with not so much as a hint of what my future
would hold, but that all changed on a private jet ride to
Switzerland.

“What the fuck do you think we are going to
Switzerland for, Daniel?” I continued to listen to my mother yell
into the phone.

“Yes, I’m fully fucking aware that I needed
to be there yesterday. I had other business that needed my
attention…you know VIP doesn’t run itself. I need to speak to the
President, not the manager of the bank. I am not about to place $25
million dollars in the hands of some fucking manager. Make it
happen or I will find someone who will,” she aggravatingly roared
as she hung up.

“Why do I leave things in the hands of a man,
Lilith?” she questioned, looking at me adoringly as I looked up
from my book.

“Especially when a woman would do it right
the first time,” I repeated what I heard her say time after
time.

She smiled and nodded.

“Mother, how much longer?”

“Not long, darling. Once we get there, you
will go with the nanny to the hotel and I have some business that I
need to handle. I’ll come get you later and we will go to dinner,
yes?” I nodded and smiled wide. I loved spending one on one time
with my mother. It was the highlight of my life.

I excused myself to go use the restroom but
was grabbed by the hand before I could take another step.

“Lilith…turn around.” I did and I will never
forget the look on my mother’s face that afternoon. She looked like
she had waited her entire life for that very moment.

“My Lilith. You’re a woman. Jesus Christ, you
are finally a woman.” She looked as if she’d just witnessed a
miracle; glee covered her perfectly polished face.

I turned around to see for my very own eyes
what she was talking about.

“I’m bleeding! Oh my God, I got my period,
Mother!” I screamed, joining in on the excitement.

“You sure did, darling. Let’s go get you
cleaned up.” She beamed reassuringly.

Once we were seated, my mother said to the
stewardess, “Open a bottle of Dom Pérignon; two glasses. Thank
you.”

“Hand a glass to Lilith.” The stewardess
looked at mother like she had lost her damn mind. It was blatantly
obvious that I was a minor. But my mother didn’t care; she always
did what she wanted.

“Raise your glass, darling. I toast to you
and your newfound power. There is much for us to discuss. You have
no idea the grandeur that will rightfully be yours one day, today
marks the day that you are that much closer to becoming what you
were made for.” I raised my eyebrows, not understanding a word my
mother was saying.

She clinked my glass and downed her entire
champagne with one sip.

“Take a drink. We’re celebrating the beauty
that is you.” I sipped my glass, thinking that it would taste much
worse than what actually touched my taste buds. It was good and I
tried to keep drinking but my mother took away the glass.

“Ladies don’t gulp, Lilith,” she said
condescendingly.

“You just did.” I giggled, feeling more
empowered in my newfound womanhood.

She grinned. “Do as I say, not as I do. Are
we clear?” she teased and I nodded.

The next two years changed drastically. No
longer did my mother try to hide things from me, I wasn’t excused
when she would take certain phone calls, my nanny didn’t have to
follow me everywhere, and I met more gorgeous women than I thought
possible. At one point, I questioned my sexual preference because I
would find myself fantasizing about what it would be like to be
them. To look like them, talk like them, act like them, just to be
one of them. I needed it, I wanted it, I couldn’t think of anything
else.

I still didn’t understand what any of it
meant. I knew better than to ask questions. If my mother wanted me
to know something, she would tell me; that’s how she operated.
Several other things started changing after I became a woman; my
body being one of them seemed to change overnight. I went to bed a
little girl and woke up a teenager; I had developed 34C breasts and
curves in places that weren’t there before. The years of playing
tennis had allowed me to develop a toned physique and I grew to be
5’7, just like my mother. My body matured to a young woman. My
mother loved long hair and never allowed the stylist to give me
more than a trim, but for my fifteenth birthday, she permitted sun
kissed highlights. It made my straight waist length hair platinum
blonde.

I got attention everywhere I went and I
fucking devoured it! I ate it up like it was my last meal; I
flirted like I knew what I was doing, and paraded myself around any
chance I could get. I didn’t go to school, so that only left
boutiques, shopping plazas on South Beach, restaurants, and parties
my mother would allow me to attend, both at our home and other
invitations. Believe it or not, some of the parties that my mother
and I attended had other kids my age. I met this girl named
Alexandria at a banquet benefit for cancer. I was still fifteen and
she was a few months older than me; we made friends fairly quickly
due to our upbringings being similar.

She was the complete opposite of what I
looked liked. I think her parents were Latin; she had a tan
complexion with dark chocolate doll eyes and curly unruly hair, her
facial features were much more pronounced than mine. Our heights
were the same and every time she talked, I couldn’t help but stare
at her pouty mouth. The slight accent she spoke with was just as
addicting. She was picturesque.

She was also my first kiss.

“I fucking hate these stupid benefits. Like
my parents give a shit who’s dying from cancer today; it’s just an
excuse to look charitable, and my lush of a mother to get drunk,”
she proclaimed as I followed her through the back gardens of this
house I’d never been to.

“You sure you know where you’re going? It
seems like we’ve been walking forever.”

“Yeah, my dad does business with the owner. I
can’t wait to show you the garden! It’s perfect and quiet and I got
us a surprise.”

We walked for another five minutes before I
saw exactly what she had been describing. It was astounding how all
the flowers and trees blended together. It looked like we had
walked into The Secret Garden. I walked around in a daze, looking
at all the different types of plants that I had never seen
before.

“Lilith!” Her excitement broke the trance I
was in and I turned to look at her. “Look what I’ve got.” She
pulled a pint of whiskey from her purse. “I stole it from

the bar when the bartender wasn’t looking,”
she proudly stated.

“Let’s get toasted!” She took three huge
gulps before handing it to me, “Ugh…it burns all the way down, but
it will be worth it.”

I wasn’t much for peer pressure and my mother
would have probably shit herself, not at the situation, but the
fact that I was the follower not the leader in the scenario. I took
some sips, keeping in the back of my mind that ladies don’t gulp,
and before we knew it, we were both drunkity, drunk, drunk.

I couldn’t stop laughing, I had never been
drunk before and everything around me was hilarious. Alexandria was
a bit more in control of herself, although she was still all over
the place. She had fallen over laughing with her hair scattered all
over her face. I started moving pieces of it away until she
suddenly grabbed my wrist and we gazed into each other’s eyes. My
first thought was if my eyes resembled the glossy mirrors of hers.
She licked her lips, and my very next thought was that I wanted to
lick them too.

We both moved simultaneously, me advancing
and her ascending, to each other’s mouths. I had never kissed
anyone before, but I had read enough about it to know how it
worked. The moment her lips touched mine I moaned. She tasted like
whiskey and peppermint Tic Tacs, her lips were soft and smooth. We
were completely and utterly in sync with one another. Our movements
paralleled what the other was doing and the second I felt her
tongue in my mouth my lower abdomen tingled. We effortlessly moved
together and my mind didn’t have any thoughts, other than the
sensations I felt in my pussy.

She was the first to break away from our kiss
and I will never forget the teasingly erotic grin she displayed. I
know we were only fifteen, but it doesn’t matter what anyone says,
women are born with their sexuality. It’s this unknown gift we
have, this ability to say so much without having to say one
word.

The rest of the night proceeded without any
problems, everything returned to the way it was, except sometimes I
would catch Alexandria smirking and looking at me. It didn’t make
me feel uncomfortable; it made me feel powerful, like this surge of
adrenaline I didn’t know I had. I was like a bird in a nest ready
to fly. When I went home that night, I thought about that kiss and
how much I loved it. When I was younger, I use to wonder about my
sexuality, I was always attracted to the female body, starting with
my mother’s. I hadn’t been around many men growing up, and my
sexuality was once again questioned.

At this point, I didn’t give a fuck!

To each their own, right?

I fantasized about Alexandria for months; I
fondled, and pleasured myself to that kiss- it was the first time I
ever came.

My sixteenth birthday came faster than I had
anticipated; the year just flew by. My mother threw me the most
lavish sweet sixteen party money could buy. It was actually quite
interesting seeing as I didn’t have any friends, yet there were
teenagers everywhere; I had no idea who anyone was or how my mother
found them. All I know is I had an amazing time and I soaked up all
the attention I could get. I love being the center of attention.
The party dwindled down after midnight and that’s when my father
showed up. I would see my father here and there as I got older, but
I always saw him on birthdays and holidays.

“I can’t believe how fast time goes by,
Lilith; you’re a woman now,” my father said as he pulled the hair
away from my face and placed it behind my ear.

I smiled. “You missed my party,” I reminded
him, even though I’m sure he knew it.

“He wasn’t invited,” we heard my mother say
from behind us. My father didn’t pay her any attention.

“I got you something. Would you like to see
it?” he asked and I eagerly nodded. I always loved my father’s
presents.

He grabbed my hand as my mother followed to
the front driveway. There, with a huge red bow, was a brand new red
BMW.

“Oh my God!” I shouted in surprise.

“Happy birthday, baby,” he said softly as he
leaned in to kiss my forehead. He handed me the keys and I ran to
my new prized possession.

“A BMW? Really, Charles? What did that set
you back, 40 grand? Is that all she’s worth to you?” my mother
taunted him.

“It’s her first car, Vivian. It’s plenty for
her,” he replied unapologetically.

“I’ll make sure to tell her that when I hand
her the keys to her McLaren F1.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

I saw her smirk deviously as she turned to
face him and she leaned forward to grab his tie. “Did I stutter?
You heard me,” she murmured, just loud enough that I could still
hear.

“Do you want to play, Charles? Because I want
to play. I’ll let you put it anywhere,” she said and I saw my
father grin.

“Lilith, darling, your father and I have some
things to discuss. I will see you in the morning,” she said with a
smile and started moving toward the house.

“Thank you, I love it!” I said to my father
as he pulled me into a hug.

“I love you, you know that right? You’re one
of my proudest accomplishments,” he whispered in my ear.

“I love you, too.” I repeated.

My mother grabbed his hand and I watched them
leave as if they were a happily married couple.

After I
got my car, I had more freedom to do what I wanted. My mother
wasn’t always on my ass about what I was allowed to do and I took
full advantage of the freedom. Alexandria not only introduced me to
drinking, but I also became formally introduced to Mary Jane,
otherwise known as marijuana. She bought me my very own bag and
pipe that I carelessly hid in my nightstand.

For the first time in my life, I walked into
my bedroom one night to find my mother sitting at the end of my bed
waiting for me.

My heart dropped.

“Mother,” I gasped in surprise.

“Lilith. Where have you been all night?” she
interrogated in a calm, soothing voice.

“I just hung out with Alexandria.”

She slowly approached me from the bed. “The
next time you come home high, darling, try putting some Visine in
your eyes. Follow me, NOW!” I was terrified; my mother scared the
shit out of me sometimes. I followed closely behind her to her
office.

“Take a seat, Lilith, it’s time we had a
little chat.” She sat in her leather chair and I sat in one of the
seats in front of her desk. My mother was dressed in a crisp white
suit; she untied her suit jacket to expose the cleavage of her
corset top.

She sighed and folded her arms. “Do you have
any idea how disappointed I am in you, Lilith? Is this how I raised
you?”

“No, mother. I am sorry,” I stated, trying
not to sound weak. The last thing I wanted was to further piss my
mother off.

She pulled out the bag Alexandria had
purchased for me and threw it on the desk.

“This is bullshit.” She unlocked her top
drawer and pulled out another bag of marijuana. I had never seen
anything like it. It was bright green with red hairs and white
crystals all over it. I could smell its potency from where I was
sitting.