The M Word (14 page)

A bitter wind cut through his jacket.

His hands and shoulder stung, but he didn’t
have any sharp pain. He took a deep breath and extricated himself
from the bush and the bicycle. He stood and surveyed the damage.
The bicycle was bent at an impossible angle. He’d have to walk
home.

His hands were scraped as well as his right
shoulder. When he walked, there was an ache in his right thigh and
knee, but it was a dull ache, and he didn’t think he’d suffered any
serious damage beyond bruising.

He looked upwards and said a silent prayer of
thanks, then picked up the ruined bicycle and started the walk
home.

Fortunately he was only three miles from the
house, in a more suburban area. If he had been riding on one of the
busier streets, he might not have been so fortunate.

As he walked, he did a few vocal exercises.
He thought about work, his thesis, and the upcoming competition.
But he thought mostly about Brenda.

She was so lovely, so sweet, so giving. She
pretended to be tough and practical, but underneath that, she had a
tender heart. He thought of her birthday party and how grateful she
had been for the smallest kindnesses. Sometimes she acted as if she
didn’t think she deserved his adoration. He often wished that he
had met her sooner, so she would not have suffered so much
heart-ache. She didn’t talk about her prior relationships, but he
knew the men had not treated her well.

But the past was past, and he was grateful
that he would have her future.

God was generous.

When he came into the house, it was quiet,
but this time, Brenda was not waiting for him in the living room.
Instead, she was in their bedroom, getting ready for bed. She came
out of the bathroom with a toothbrush in her mouth. She removed it,
commenting, “You’re later than usual,” then gasped as she noticed
his ripped clothes and the dried blood on his hair. “What
happened?”

“An accident, but I’ll survive. The bicycle
won’t.”

At that, she demanded more information, and
he told her. She quickly got a warm wet washcloth to clean his
hands.

He protested that he could take care of it
himself, but she insisted. “Let me do this for you.”

So he sat on the edge of their king-sized bed
and let her gently clean his hands and face. “Thank goodness you
were wearing a helmet,” she said. She rubbed antibiotic cream into
his scrapes, and looked up at him. “Let me see your eyes,” she said
and looked into them deeply. “Your pupils are the same size. I
don’t think you have a concussion.”

“I’m fine,” he assured her. “A little
bruised, but fine. I’m going to take a shower.”

She said seriously, “If you feel the
slightest bit weak or think you’re going to faint, call out.”

He smiled. She did worry too much. “The only
thing I’m feeling now is embarrassed that I had the wreck.”

“Do you want me to fix you something to
eat?”

Since he did most of the cooking, it was
pleasant to hear her offer. “Yes, I’d like that.”

She kissed him. “Okay. I’ll be back to check
on you.”

#

As she prepared an omelet for Marius, Brenda
could hear him singing in the shower. Since he was singing, she was
ninety-nine percent certain that he would be fine.

But she kept imagining the accident. She was
grateful that he wasn’t seriously hurt, but she knew that he could
have been. A few years before, one of her friends had been killed
while riding his bicycle. There weren’t enough bicycle paths in
Dallas and people drove like maniacs.

She whipped up eggs in a bowl and diced green
peppers and onions, not paying much attention to the routine
task.

The possibility of Marius dying was
devastating.

I love him
.

The overwhelming fear she’d felt when she
first saw him tonight, the relief she’d felt when she realized that
he was going to be fine, it all added up.

She loved him.

Brenda thought of the other times in her life
when she had thought she was in love.

Those emotions had been intense, but they
didn’t have the depth of her feelings now.

She loved Marius with all her body and
soul.

Brenda set the knife down and stared blankly
ahead.

She was scared. She wasn’t good when she
thought she was in love. Love made her stupid. She became a doormat
and put up with rotten behavior.

But Marius is different, she thought, then
checked herself. She always thought the current man was different.
That’s why she’d wanted an arranged marriage: to avoid love and all
its pain.

So what could she do?

The sizzle of oil in the pan brought her mind
back to her task. She poured the eggs into the warm pan.

She liked Marius, she was physically
attracted to him, she trusted him, but she needed to keep a small
part of herself aloof. She needed to be wary and wise.

So no more L-word.

CHAPTER TWELVE

Thanksgiving was a large dinner at Brenda’s
parents’ house. It was potluck, but since there were so many
guests, all Brenda had to bring was green bean casserole and a
relish tray. Everyone was accustomed to Marius now, so there was no
awkwardness. And since he’d watched a few episodes of
Star
Trek
, he even joined some of those discussions as well.

Her sister Joan, who knew they were trying to
get pregnant, glanced at her stomach. “No baby, yet,” Brenda said,
and smiled to let her know she was okay with that. She didn’t
mention that she was beginning to wonder if she and Marius were
infertile. She’d started reading articles about it on the
internet.

As the time grew closer for the district
competition, Marius practiced more, staying up later, often coming
to bed after she had fallen asleep. He had bought himself a
second-hand car, though, so she didn’t have to worry about any more
bicycle accidents.

Finally, the day came for them to drive down
to Houston. It was a five hour drive. Brenda had taken half a day
off from work, so they could get there before dark. She wanted to
make certain Marius got enough sleep before his performance.

But as Marius was carrying their luggage to
the car, she received a call from Kelly.

“What’s up?” she asked.

Kelly gasped. “My water just broke!”

“Congratulations. That’s great.”

“No, it’s not great!” Kelly wailed. “Lars is
out of town.”

“What?”

“I wasn’t due for another two weeks and Dr.
Armanzo thought I might go over full term, so I told him he could
go to Boston.”

“You need a ride to the hospital?”

“I can get a taxi, if I have to. Or ask my
Dad.”

Brenda heard the fear in her words. “But
you’d rather have me,” she guessed.

“Can you do it?”

Brenda hesitated.

“What’s wrong?” Marius asked.

Brenda told him, and he said, “Go with
her.”

“But the competition . . .”

“I can go by myself. If I do well, I’ll be
happy whether you’re there or not, and if I don’t do well, perhaps
it’s best if you don’t hear it.”

She looked at him closely. Was he telling the
truth or just telling her what she wanted to hear? “Are you
sure?”

“Go to Kelly,” he repeated.

I do love you, she thought, but only said,
“Thank you,” and kissed him. She spoke into the phone. “I’m on my
way. Where are you?”

“At the studio.”

It took only a few minutes to get there.
Kelly met her at the door. “I don’t have my baby bag packed or
anything.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll get whatever you
need after you’re at the hospital.”

Kelly winced. “I’m having contractions.”

“Does it hurt a lot?”

“Uncomfortable right now, but it’s getting
worse.”

Brenda drove her to the hospital. Kelly had
already done the preliminary paperwork days before, so it only took
an hour for her to be in a room, waiting.

She saw Kelly texting on her phone. “Is Lars
on his way?” she asked.

“Yes. He cancelled his meetings and is coming
home on the first available flight, but that’s still four hours or
more away.”

Brenda leaned forward. “Hear that, baby?” she
said, addressing Kelly’s stomach. “You’ve got to stay inside until
your daddy arrives.”

Kelly laughed, then gasped as another
contraction hit.

She took Brenda’s hand and squeezed it.
“Thank you so much for being here.”

#

Five hours later, Lars appeared in the
doorway. He was out of breath as if he had run from the parking
lot. It was the first time Brenda had ever seen him look flustered.
“Kelly,” he gasped. “Is everything okay?”

“You’re just in time,” Brenda said calmly,
but he wasn’t listening to her. All his attention was on Kelly. She
was pale and drenched with sweat, but she beamed when she saw her
husband. Brenda patted his arm as she walked past him and into the
hall. This was their time, not hers. She asked a nurse where she
could sit and wait.

Three hours later, she got a text from Kelly.
Where are you?

At the hospital.

In room now. Come visit.

Kelly looked a little better. She’d brushed
her hair and washed her face, but she still looked exhausted.
Radiant, but exhausted. Having a baby, even with the advantages of
modern medicine, was hard work. She lay in the hospital bed,
holding her son, who was wrapped in a blue receiving blanket and
wore a little knit hat on his tiny head. He was sleeping. His face
was red and bumpy with some kind of skin rash, but that didn’t
concern Brenda. She’d seen the newborn pictures of all her nieces
and nephews.

“Isn’t he beautiful?” Kelly asked in a quiet
voice as if not wanting to wake him.

Brenda nodded. “I think he has Lars’
eyebrows.”

Kelly smiled. “I think so, too.”

“Is everything okay? You and baby both
fine?”

“Dr. Armanzo says everything is normal and
good. We’ll spend the night here and go home in the morning.”

Brenda sat in a chair, watching Kelly, who
kept smiling in wonder at the tiny baby in her arms.

I want this, too, she thought, and sent a
little prayer in her thoughts.
Please God, I want a
baby.

She heard footsteps approaching in the hall
and a booming voice demand, “Where’s the Henderson baby?”

A few seconds later, she heard, “Make way for
Grandpa!” and then Kelly’s parents appeared in the doorway. Frank
was carrying huge floral arrangement and a large stuffed animal
that was the size of a Saint Bernard.

The loud noise startled the baby, and he
started to cry.

Margaret put her hand on her husband’s arm.
“Frank, softer voice, please.” She came into the room and hugged
her daughter.

There really wasn’t enough space in the small
hospital room for her, too, Brenda decided. “I’ll go home now and
talk to you later,” she said quickly to Kelly, and slipped into the
hallway.

Lars followed her. “Brenda, just a
minute.”

She turned.

He looked tired, too. “I can’t thank you
enough for today.”

“No problem,” she said lightly.

“No,” he said in a serious tone. “I know you
chose to help Kelly instead of going with Marius. Thank you.”

Marius. She hadn’t thought of him for a few
hours. She hoped he was in bed, getting the rest he needed before
the competition tomorrow.

She shrugged. “Kelly’s my best friend.”

“I know. And I appreciate that.” His blue
eyes watched her intently.

She sensed that his opinion of her was
improving. He stood awkwardly, as if not knowing what else to
say.

On impulse, Brenda gave him a quick hug. He
stiffened at first, surprised, but then he hugged her back. “I like
you, too,” she said, amused. When they separated, she added,
“Congratulations, Dad.”

Lars smiled. “Thank you.”

#

Marius did well at the District competition.
Next step was the Region Finals in New Orleans the first week of
January. He focused on his work and his preparation and tried not
to worry about the ultimate results. All he could do was try his
best.

Brenda was happy for him and didn’t complain
when he worked late, practicing.

She encouraged him and one day commented, “If
you don’t do well, there’s always next year.”

“Not for me.” At her look of surprise, he
explained, “This is my last year. I’ll be thirty in February. Next
year, I’ll be too old.”

“I didn’t know there was an age limit.”

“Yes. I thought I would have two chances, but
last year, with my surgery, I was unable to compete.” Those had
been dark days. It had been the closest he had ever come to
suffering from depression. But even then, there had been some joy.
Whenever he felt his worst, he would visit the bank and look at
Brenda. Just seeing her would put him in a better mood and give him
hope that everything would work out well.

And it had. Brenda was now his wife. He
wanted to be one of the five winners at the National Council
Auditions, but that was not the most important thing in his
life.

Brenda said, “So this is your only
chance.”

He smiled. “Don’t worry. I can always
audition for other opera companies. But this is an excellent
opportunity, and I want to do well.”

She kissed him. “That’s what I want,
too.”

#

Marius stood by the refrigerator. Brenda saw
him glance at the calendar that was magnetized to the door. She had
marked the days of her period on it. She said calmly, “Ideally, if
I want to get pregnant, I should have sex every day.”

Marius looked over his shoulder. “How soon do
you have to leave for work?”

“In fifteen minutes,” she said and hastily
downed a glass of milk.

He raised one eyebrow enquiringly.

Brenda gasped. “You’re joking, right?”

“That’s up to you.”

She laughed. “On your mark, get set, go?”