The M Word (11 page)

“No, but I don’t believe in love at first
sight. And there's another problem,” she said. “If you assume
Violetta and Alfredo truly love each other, why does she let his
father break them apart?”

“How do you know that’s going to happen?”

“I read the plot this afternoon on my smart
phone.”

“You spoiled the ending?”

“I don’t like surprises,” she told him.
“Besides I already knew that a lot of operas end with people
dying.”

“They do,” Marius agreed.

“I wanted to prepare myself for the worst.
Her death seems depressing to me, but I understand that it’s
supposed to be cathartic.”

He smiled. “Opera is emotional -- covering
the heights and depths of the human experience.”

“Perhaps. But I still think Violetta is a
wimp for leaving Alfredo.”

Marius laughed. “You forget back then, how
important families were. By living with a prostitute, Alfredo is
bringing dishonor on his family. And his sister's fiancé won't
marry her now.”

Brenda sniffed. “That's his sister's problem.
She's better off without the jerk fiancé. Alfredo’s a wimp,
too.”

“Don’t be so quick to judge,” Marius said.
“Watch it with an open mind. Violetta believes Alfredo will be
better off without her, so she leaves him, nobly sacrificing her
love.”

“I know, and then she dies. What a terrible
waste.”

“But what a wonderful romance,” he
argued.

“I prefer happy endings,” Brenda said.

“But Alfredo has come back to her. Isn't that
a happy ending?”

“Not to my way of thinking. I want them to
get married and spend the rest of their long and happy lives
together.” Like us, she thought, realizing that she was happy with
Marius. She liked his good nature, his intelligence, and their easy
camaraderie. She looked at his handsome face only inches from hers
and wondered what he’d do if she kissed him.

But she checked the impulse, not quite ready
to take the plunge.

He watched her closely as if he thought she
was going to say something.

She said, “I don’t want a happy resolution
and then have the heroine croak.”

“You don’t like Romeo and Juliet,
either.”

“Not really,” she admitted.

Marius brought a piece of popcorn up to her
lips. She obediently opened her mouth and he dropped the piece
inside. “All right,” he said. “For you --” He tapped the end of her
nose with his index finger. “I'll rewrite the ending. Violetta will
recover from tuberculosis and they will live happily ever
after.”

Brenda laughed. “No, it’s okay. I’ll watch
the original version.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I can handle it. I’m tough.”

He pressed the play button on the remote
control and the film resumed. This time, Brenda focused on the
story and the music and the way it made her feel.

Later, when the credits rolled, she turned
away to hide her tears.

Marius turned the movie off. “Brenda?” he
asked gently.

She didn’t speak; she was embarrassed to be
caught crying. Her brother would have teased her. She wiped her
face with her hands and looked around for a box of tissues, but
couldn’t find one.

“Brenda,” Marius said again.

She sniffed. “No.”

“Look at me. Please.”

She looked at him, knowing that she probably
looked terrible with her eyes all red and her mascara smeared.
“Yes?”

Marius’ eyes were so kind, and focused
completely on her. He was not laughing at her.

He reached out and cupped the side of her
face with his large hand. His thumb caressed her cheek. “So sweet,”
he murmured.

Brenda leaned in towards him, closing her
eyes.
Kiss me
, she thought.

He kissed her closed eyelids, then the salty
tears on her cheeks, and the tenderness of his touch, made her give
a little shuddering sob.

He pulled back, concerned, and she opened her
eyes, looking straight into his. “No, it’s okay,” she said softly.
“I want you to kiss me.”

This time their lips met and they kissed
once, then twice. It felt right. Brenda touched his face,
fascinated by the faint rasp of his evening stubble, then wove her
fingers into his dark curly hair. She wanted him closer.

“Brenda?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said and kissed him again. She
undid a button on his shirt and kissed the base of his neck.
“Yes.”

She felt him breathe in sharply. “Is now the
time?” he asked.

Brenda smiled up at him. “Yes.”

CHAPTER NINE

Marius was nothing like Steven, and nothing
like any of the other dozen or so men she’d slept with. He was not
in a hurry. He took time to pay attention to her and her responses.
Brenda supposed it was the difference between having sex and making
love -- there were obvious similarities, but she felt different.
Perhaps it was knowing that she was legally married before God and
man, and that their relationship was going to be permanent. She
didn’t have any guilt or regret. She felt safe.

“Good for you?” she asked quietly.

He lay with his hands behind his head,
exposing the broad expanse of his chest. Funny how he didn’t seem
too hairy now, she thought. Everything about him seemed just right.
She wouldn’t even mind if he regrew the beard.

He smiled at her. “Very good.” He rolled over
and kissed her briefly. “Thank you for marrying me.”

“Thank you,” she added seriously.

She lay in the sheets, thinking about their
hasty marriage. “Let’s keep our relationship simple and straight
forward, like it is right now.”

“Meaning?” His voice was husky.

“Alfredo may have loved Violetta, but it was
too much. Too intense. He jumped to conclusions. Then he could have
gotten killed in a duel. I don’t want all that drama. I want us to
stay friends. No matter what happens.”

He nodded. “I agree. No duels.”

He sounded sleepy. She should know better
than to have a serious post-coitus conversation. Brenda smiled,
then had a wonderful thought.
Maybe I’m pregnant
already.

He looked at her quizzically. “Yes?” he
prompted.

She laughed. “Since you don’t believe in
divorce, I’m guessing you don’t believe in birth control,
either.”

#

It was a beautiful late July day, cooler than
usual because of a rain storm that morning. Brenda and Kelly sat on
the park bench by her office during her lunch hour.

“You look fantastic,” Brenda said, admiring
Kelly’s slightly rounded stomach. “Radiant.”

Kelly shrugged. “I’m eating more.”

“But it’s not just that,” Brenda said. “You
look happier. You’ve got the look of a well-fed cat. Things must be
going well with you and Lars.”

“Better,” she agreed primly.

Brenda raised one eyebrow. “Practice makes
perfect, hmm?”

Kelly blushed red, but didn’t give any more
details.

Brenda respected that. Kelly had always been
a more reserved person than she was. She’d never been one to kiss
and tell. “I’m happy, too,” she said matter-of-factly. “Marius and
I aren’t madly in love like you and Lars, but I like him. He’s very
easy to live with.” And the sex is good, too, she thought, but
didn’t say it.

“I’m glad,” Kelly said. “I was worried about
you.”

“I know.” She laughed. “Sometimes I can’t
believe how quickly my life changed for the better. Steven seems
like a distant memory.”

“He hasn’t bothered you any more, has
he?”

“No.”

“Do you think he’ll make problems for you
with Immigration?”

“He might try, but I’m not concerned. Marius
has his student visa and he has a good attorney.” She made a face.
“At least I hope he’s a good attorney.”

“Hard to know, isn’t it?”

“I talked to Marius, but he said not to
worry. Everything is under control. Fine.”

“And you trust him.”

Brenda knew that Kelly was still a little
concerned, which was understandable, but she wasn’t living with
Marius on a daily basis. She had no way of knowing how inherently
honest and disciplined he was. “I’ll get a second legal opinion,”
she promised.

“Good idea.”

#

Marius was very busy through the end of July
and early August, helping his professor finish up the summer
semester. Then he had two lighter weeks before the fall semester
began. During this time, he helped her paint the living room and
dining room, and they hired someone to finish hanging the cabinets
in the kitchen.

Brenda was pleased that they were making
progress, but she wished they had enough money to redo the floors
before Marius’ mother came to visit after Labor Day.

Marius assured her, “My mother is coming to
meet you, not your house.”

“Our house,” Brenda corrected.

Marius rewarded that comment with a brief
smile of approval, then returned to the task at hand -- washing the
baseboards. He washed and dried them, and she repainted them. As
Marius worked, he sang.
Naturally
. Sometimes he belted out
songs in full voice, but sometimes he sang softer, or just hummed.
Over the past few weeks, Brenda had grown accustomed to hearing
scales and bits of arias, in the mornings and in the evenings, and
now whenever he was gone, the house seemed too quiet.

Brenda waited until he finished singing his
selection before asking, “Will your mother want to go sight-seeing?
Other than the JFK memorial and the zoo, there really isn’t much to
see in Dallas.”

“She won’t need you to entertain her.”

“Good, because I can’t take any more time off
from work. I used up all my vacation days on the honeymoon. We’ll
have to do everything on the weekends.” She supposed if his mother
wanted, they could drive down to San Antonio and see the Alamo.

“She knows we’re both very busy with your job
and my classes. She just wants to see us.”

Brenda dipped her small paint brush into the
high gloss white paint and carefully painted the baseboard. Marius
had already warned her that she wasn’t going to see him as much,
once the fall semester started. He had his own classes, his thesis,
and his work as a teaching assistant.

She asked, “How long has it been since you’ve
seen her?”

“Two years. But we talk often on the
phone.”

At that moment, as if on cue, his cell phone
rang. “Is it your mom?” she asked, joking.

He glanced at the caller ID. “No. Do you mind
if I take this call?”

“Go ahead,” she said. She’d noticed that
Marius rarely answered his phone, preferring to call people back
rather than let them interrupt what he was doing. She wasn’t sure
if this was a European custom, or merely his way of focusing his
attention on the people around him.

So the fact that he wanted to take the call,
meant that it was important.

He walked outside into the backyard, to talk
in private. She heard him say, “Francesca,” in a pleased tone,
before the back door closed, separating them and cutting off the
rest of the conversation.

Francesca?
She’d forgotten about her,
or at least she’d tried to forget her.

It was ridiculous to be worried. Couldn’t the
man have a private conversation with a friend without her thinking
that he was another Steven?

The problem was, she didn’t want to ask any
more questions about Francesca. Brenda didn’t want to sound like a
suspicious shrew, or worse -- she didn’t want to find out that
Marius was in love with another woman.

Was she jealous?

Yes.

And she was a coward, too. Life with Marius
was so nice right now, she didn’t want to jeopardize it.

So she’d wait, until after his mother’s
visit, to learn more about Francesca.

#

Marius and she waited at the international
airport terminal. Brenda twisted her hands together nervously. She
hoped her mother-in-law would like her. Her hair was nearly an inch
long now, and with styling gel, she was able to make it look as if
she had intended it to look this way.

Brenda scanned the faces of the incoming
passengers, searching for a family resemblance.

Then Marius cried out. “Mama!” He kissed a
tiny woman with sleek blonde hair on alternating cheeks three times
and she returned the gesture and then they hugged. They spoke for a
moment in Polish, then Marius noticed a taller young woman with
brown hair standing behind her. “Tesia!” he exclaimed and the kiss
fest began again. Then, he stepped back and introduced Brenda.

Brenda saw that Mrs. Jaworski was beautifully
dressed in an expensive looking pale gray suit. She looked at
Brenda coolly, then said formally in English, “I’m so glad to
finally meet you.”

Her English had a stronger accent than
Marius, but it was still excellent. Brenda leaned down to hug her,
and Mrs. Jaworski kissed the air by her cheeks.

“I would have come to the wedding,” her
mother in law continued, “But you didn’t give me enough time to
make travel arrangements.”

Was that a veiled put-down?

Years of being snubbed as a child had taught
her the degrees of social disdain.

Suddenly Brenda felt tall and gawky and
tackily dressed. She noticed that Mrs. Jaworski wore spotless
shoes, her nails were professionally done, and she had a large
diamond ring on her left hand.

She wondered if Marius had noticed his
mother’s coolness, or if he was so happy to see them that he didn’t
pick up on the underlying emotional currents.

But Brenda was determined to make the
situation better, if she could. She said pleasantly, “Yes, the
wedding was quick. I’m sorry you weren’t able to come, but I’m very
glad you’re here now.”

Mrs. Jaworski said something to Marius in
Polish and he translated. “She says she hopes we have blonde
babies.”

Brenda smiled at the thought. Maybe she was
misreading her mother-in-law?

Tesia stood back, not saying much. Brenda
didn’t know if she was jet lagged from the long flight, shy, or if
her English wasn’t good enough to converse. But as they reached the
car, Tesia said clearly, “I’m glad to meet you,” and smiled in a
way that gave her hope that they might become friends.