The Love He Craves (The Love She Craves: Selling Her Soul to Declan Book 2) (21 page)

“Yes, I suppose most neglected children have to learn to
fend for themselves
.”

Biting the inside of her lip, Nyxie did her best to ignore her. She knew Rosita Gomez must have relished telling Kiki why CPS took the children from her.

“Guess who I saw today,” she said to Lotus and Reina.

“Papa!” they said in unison.

She nodded as she swallowed a bite of food. “He came in after my exam.” She took a bite of her sandwich and intentionally spoke with her mouth full. “Ms. Kiki, I have dates this Thursday and Friday nights. I need you to watch the girls—maybe overnight.”

Kiki made a sound of disgust. “Am I going to be compensated for the extra time?”

“Why don’t you take Wednesday off? I’ll take the girls with me to see Cody. They haven’t seen him in a while and I know he misses them.”

“Can we go with you and Papa?” Lotus asked, her mouth full of food.

“Thursday, Papa and I need to have a grown-up discussion and Friday we're going to a big hospital party. I’m afraid it’s adults only. You’d be bored silly.”

“We haven’t seen Papa in ages,” Reina pouted.

“You know he works long hours. But he told me he misses you both,” she lied in hopes of keeping their feelings from being hurt.

Lotus gave her a look that conveyed her doubt and Nyxie looked away quickly.

“Hopefully, we’ll finish early and we’ll get back before bedtime.”

Kiki finished her salad, set her plate in the sink and left it there. Even when the dishwasher was empty, the woman never put her dishes in or even rinsed them.

“When are you going to have the deadbolt installed on my room?”

“I haven’t gotten a chance to talk to Declan about it. It’s his house. I don’t know if he’ll mind.”

“The lock on the door knob is not enough, especially when I hear strange men roaming around at night.”

Nyxie didn’t understand the woman’s need for more than the lock that was already there. Did she think someone was planning to come in while she was sleeping or go through her belongings when she was out of the room? But Nyxie justified it by assuming the woman might have had bad experiences in a former placement.

“Papa came by?” Lotus asked.

“He needed to give me something.”

“He didn’t say hello to us.”

“It was late. You were already asleep.”

“He checked on you,” Kiki said. “I heard him look in your room. That’s what woke me up. I’m a light sleeper when I don’t feel safe. I hear every little noise.” She fixed her eyes on Nyxie. “And they say puppy love never lasts.”

Onyx blushed to her roots, realizing the nanny had heard Declan howling and barking when they had had sex.

“He was just playing around.”

“I’m sure,” Kiki said, rolling her eyes.

“I guess neither of us realized the walls and floors were so thin. I imagine we’ll normally go next door.” Why was she justifying anything to the nanny? It was none of her business. It was their house and if they wanted to raise the rafters, what business was it of hers? Although she hoped Declan and she would get their relationship squared away, it was too soon to say if anyone would be giving up their bedroom anytime soon.

“I see. You plan to live next door with your friend, while I live over here with your kids. Why didn’t you just let CPS keep them?”

Nyxie gasped. She couldn’t believe she had said that in front of the girls. “I would never do that to you,” she said to Lotus and Reina. “Declan told me he wants to put doors in downstairs to make this one big house instead of two town houses. But CPS said we had to wait to do it until we could leave the house while the work is done.”

Chapter 19

Nyxie picked up the big pack of fajitas on her way home from the hospital Thursday night. She was tired of Ms. Kiki constantly nitpicking about their diet and hoped since they were good enough for Declan, they would be good enough for her. She resisted the urge to buy the girls cake. It was just the kind of passive aggressive revenge Nyxie indulged in when she disliked someone. She opted not to buy the cake because she didn’t want to spoil the girls.

She also hoped when Declan smelled the mesquite smoked meal, he might want to eat with the girls instead of taking her out to a restaurant. They didn’t need a fancy atmosphere to discuss the future of their marriage. They just needed a bit of privacy after the meal.

~*~

Declan used the keypad to enter through the garage and was surprised to see the nanny’s car parked inside next to the Lexus.

Nyxie craned her head around the corner towards him as she descended the stairs. “I heard the garage door open,” she said, a wide smile upon her face.

She stepped into his arms and kissed him passionately. His hands slid down her small ass, cupping it through the short skirt he had asked her to wear. Declan broke off the kiss and glanced up the stairs. His hands were suddenly under her skirt dragging her panties down her legs.

“W-what are you doing?”

“Taking off your underwear,” he said, smiling up at her. “Hurry and lift your feet before we get caught. Girls!” he yelled up the stairs. “Come say goodbye to us before we go.”

The squeals came first, then the unmistakable pounding footsteps of children running through the house.

“Walk,” the nanny shouted about the time the girls got to the stairs. “Walk. You sound like a herd of stampeding longhorns.”

If they slowed their pace one iota, it was because the stairs forced the slower pace.

Declan laughed. “My house is never going to be the same.”

Lotus beat Reina down the steps and had her arms around Nyxie when Reina jumped at Declan from the fourth step from the bottom. By some miracle, he caught her. He hiked her up and she latched onto his neck.

“I missed you too, squirt.”

“Princess Reina,” she corrected.

“Princess Squirt,” he countered.

“Reina, you’re too big to be held like a three-year-old,” Nyxie said and frowned when she thought she sounded like the nanny.

Declan lowered her until her feet touched the ground, but when she did not let go of his neck, he had to pull her arms away.

The woman followed the girls down at a sedate pace. She wore jeans and a crisp white men’s dress shirt with the sleeves scrunched up to her elbows and one more button at the collar unbuttoned than she really should have. Nothing showed exactly, but it hung open within an inch of her bra showing. She was easily forty but dressed like a college student after a sleepover with her boyfriend.

“Declan Stryker,” he introducing himself, holding out his hand to shake hers.

“Kiki Hallett. And you are?” the nanny asked, eyeing Declan with an appreciative rake of her eyes.

“He’s the master of the house,” Nyxie said with a grin at him. With her eyes on Declan, she missed the older woman’s bold assessment of her husband.

He could sense Kiki’s attraction to him. Nothing new there. Since his teens, he’d been having women of all ages eyeballing him as if they wanted to devour him. It pissed him off that she would mentally undress him in front of Nyxie and the girls. She had a nice body, and she knew it. Nevertheless, he felt repulsed by the aggression in her expression. Nothing could have turned him off more. Declan’s eyes met Nyxie’s momentarily and he suspected Nyxie regretted hiring her.

“So, this is the
big dog
, is it? It’s nice to put a face to the bark.”

“What can I say?” Declan said without missing a beat. “Nyxie brings out the animal in me.”

Nyxie leaned down and whispered something to the girls, and they shot past Ms. Kiki and ran up the stairs.

“Walk,” the woman yelled after them.

Declan had a strong desire to put the woman in her place. He wanted to verbally compare her to his mother in age and attitude, but kept it to himself because he didn’t want her taking it out on the girls if he made her angry.

Instead, he put his arms around Nyxie, both hands on her ass. “That’s so hot that the nanny heard us having hot sex last time. Now, every time I’m inside you, I’m going to picture the nanny standing outside our room with her ear pressed to the door and her hand between her legs.”

Ms. Kiki gasped. “I-I would never intentionally eavesdropped. It was embarrassing to hear you, not exciting.”

Declan ignored her statement, choosing instead to show the nanny how exciting he thought his vision of Kiki was, by kissing Nyxie passionately in front of her. His body was flush against Nyxie’s and he ground his pelvis against her belly.

The girls’ return was preceded by the percussion of their running footsteps, prompting Declan to release his wife with a wink.

“Look, Papa,” Lotus shouted, pushing her way in front of Reina as they hit the stairs. Freight trains did not compare to the cacophony of noise the two girls made.

“Walk!” Declan shouted.

The girls looked startled at his Dom voice. But suddenly, their legs found a slower pace.

“Look, Papa. We drew pictures for you.”

Declan didn’t miss the I-told-you-so look that Ms. Kiki shot Nyxie.

“When was the last time these girls went outside and played?”

Ms. Kiki gave him a superior look she normally reserved for Nyxie. “Your yard isn’t any bigger than a postage stamp.”

“There’s a park just on the other side of the elementary about a block and a half away.”

“I don’t particularly like this neighborhood.”

Declan could understand it. Despite the urban renewal in the area, many of the old homeowners had refused to sell, so the neighborhood was a hodgepodge of old and new. The area had thrived back in Buddy Holly’s days—the lot where his house once stood was only a quarter-mile away. But before the big urban renewal project, less than a decade ago, the area had fallen into such grave disrepair that many of the locals called the area the
Tech Ghetto
back then.

“There are dozens of parks in town.”

“I am not a chauffeur.”

“If it’s a matter of compensation…,” Declan said trying to be reasonable.

“I told her she could use my car,” Nyxie said.

He shook his head at Nyxie. “No, I bought the Lexus for your use when you get your license.”

Nyxie’s face lit up to tell him she had gotten her license, but he was absently looking at Lotus's artwork. “Figure it out, Kiki. These kids require at least one hour of physical activity a day. Some of these martial arts centers and gymnastics gyms have vans. Consult with the kids and Mrs. Stryker if that’s the way you choose to remedy this situation. Of course, I’ll expect you to clock out if the girls aren’t in your care, and I have to pay someone else to entertain them.”

“Now that I have my license, I can drive them wherever they need to go,” Nyxie said.

His eye brows raised and his eyes widened as he canted his head. “You got your license? I was going to teach you when I had time.”

“Yeah, I know, but I didn’t want to wait. Remember I told you the female chauffeur offered to give me a few lessons. I told you I needed the marriage certificate to get the right name on my license.”

“I thought you were talking about the permit. I guess I’ve been a bit absent the last couple of weeks.”

“Yeah.” Nyxie shrugged with a glance to the nanny. The last thing she wanted to do was discuss her marital issues in front of someone who would likely throw it in her face.

“Do I get to keep one of these?” he asked Lotus, reaching for the drawings in Reina’s hands.

“They’re all for you.”

“Yours too?” he asked Reina.

“Yes, Papa.”

“I’m going to have to find a place for them. Unfortunately, my refrigerator is cabinet-fronted so I can’t put them on it. I know. I’ll just have to frame them and find a wall.” He leaned down and kissed each girl's forehead. “Thank you, Princess Lotus Blossom. Thank you, Princess Squirt.”

Chapter 20

They sat in a corner booth of the dimly lit restaurant. A white linen tablecloth covered each table and the room smelled of Italian food and the freshly cut flowers that liberally filled vases throughout the room. It was a small place, a dozen tables in all, Nyxie noticed, mentally calculating the four servers only had three tables each and she wondered how they could possibly make a living on such a small number of tables. Her curiosity ended when she saw the prices on the menu. Automatically, she began scanning the pages for the cheapest thing on the menu.

“Are these people insane? Twenty-two dollars for a salad?”

“Stop looking at the prices,” he murmured without looking up from his menu.

“It’s a salad!”

He gave her a quelling look. “I’m sure it’s all organic and picked fresh earlier today.”

“Still….”

Declan pulled the menu from her hands. “I’ll order for you.”

She sighed and cast wide eyes at him. “You don’t have to take me to expensive places.”

“Everywhere is expensive to you. You would have been happy going over to my place, eating a bowl of cereal, and having sex the rest of the evening.”

She smiled widely, her bottom lip pouting out in that way he found sexier than hell. “Is it too late to go with option B?”

He chuckled. “I’ve created a monster.”

“What can I say? The Carmichaels are all addicts. Sex with you is my drug of choice.”

“You are not a Carmichael anymore,” he said, and she detected a touch of her Dom in the way he said it. “Let me see the paper DPS gave you.”

She fished it out of her purse and handed it to him, feeling a moment of pride that she had earned it. She saw him scowl a bit as he examined the document.

“You dropped your middle name, instead of your maiden name?”

“Cody and Lotus are both Carmichaels. It seemed like it would be easier to get them registered in school and stuff if I was also. I wasn’t planning to hyphenate my name. I’m done with being a Carmichael. Even if we divorce, I’m not going back to that name.”

The waitress stepped up to take their order before Declan could say anything. “She’ll have the seafood Alfredo Florentine, and I’ll have the pasta primavera.”

“Very good choices. May I have our Sommelier recommend the perfect wines for your meals?”

Declan spared a glance at Nyxie. “No thanks, we don’t drink.”

“Thank you for skipping your wine for me,” she said after the waitress had gone.

“It’s a hard limit for you.”

“That’s why you left the other night, isn’t it? Emily told me you called her drunk. You didn’t have to spend the night at a hotel. You could’ve just sent me home.”

He shrugged casually, looking across the room at nothing in particular but Nyxie sensed by the way he wasn’t looking at her that he didn’t really want to talk about that night. Without being told, she understood he had gotten drunk because of their disagreement over the legitimacy of their marriage.

“I don’t do that sort of thing very often. I wasn’t sure how you’d react—I wasn’t sure how I’d act. Obviously, my judgment was skewed if I called Emily.”

Nyxie move closer to him on the horseshoe-shaped bench. “She thought you were funny.”

“I wasn’t feeling particularly amusing. It really bothers me that you would rather be my sub than my wife. When I had gotten up that morning and found you in my bedroom presenting, it was like a kick in the balls. I don’t understand why you would choose a relationship based on kinky sex, rather than the marriage based on love. I know it’s conceited of me to think I’m a decent catch.”

“You are a great catch,” she agreed, her eyes lowered.

“But still, you don’t want to be married to me.”

“It’s nothing like that.”

“Is this a self-esteem issue? Don’t you think you deserve to be loved and happy? Is it something like that?”

“Nyxie mindlessly fiddled with the hem of her skirt, turning it up and running her finger along the line of surged stitches. “I’m sure that’s part of it,” she said. “And my trust issues and my fear of getting trapped in a relationship I can’t get out of if it goes bad.”

Declan pulled out his phone and began tapping out a message. When he was done, he showed the message that he had sent to his lawyer.

Need the names of several great lawyers to represent Nyxie in pre/postnuptial contract negotiations.

“You can stipulate that I must pay all legal fees for a divorce. You can stipulate spousal support or joint custody of any children we have together. But I’m going to insist on six months of marriage counseling before you can divorce me.”

Nyxie turned her body slightly towards him in the horseshoe-shaped booth, her knee coming across the seat to make her back less twisted. When the cool air touched her sex, she remembered her panty-less state and pressed her skirt down between her legs.

“Stop that,” he said slowly. “Let me see you.”

Her breathing increased as she used her fingertips to walk the skirt halfway up her thighs. With her shifted position in the seat, she faced away from the rest of the restaurant. Even if the waitress came and placed the plates in front of them at that moment, she would not see what Declan could view.

“Just stay like that.” Declan placed his hand on her knee, but made no further moves. “Are you trying to distract me from our conversation?”

“I tried to cover up,” she said. “If I was trying to distract you, I’d undo a couple more buttons on my blouse.”

“Like the nanny?” he said, watching her finger her top button. “Are you sure about her?”

“You want to talk about Ms. Kiki?” Nyxie asked leaning away from him.

“Answer my question and we’ll move on to your list.”

“I guess we’re going through an adjustment period. I thought you’d like her. She’s all about schedules, consistency, and nutrition.”

“We could’ve just hired my mother.”

“God forbid,” she mumbled under her breath as she reached in her purse for the list.

Declan gave her a hard stare. “She's still my mother. I’ve asked her to give you a chance. I expect you to do the same.”

“Yes, sir. Sorry.”

With a deep sigh, she handed him the piece of paper, and watched as he unfolded it and began reading.

“You’ve marked out a lot of things. Are you sure you don’t want to address these issues also?”

“None of them are deal-breakers.”

Declan looked down at the list. It wasn’t as long as he expected. She had broken it up into subcategories. The first heading,

The Kids.

Although he knew any issues with her brother and nieces would need to be addressed, he had not expected it to top her list. He thought he was doing a pretty good job with the kids so far. But after thinking about it for a second, he realized the kids were always her first priority.

“‘One:  Are we going to be a family or are we going to continue to live apart?’” he read aloud, then looked up at her.

“They are going to feel rejected if you only want to spend time with me,” she said.

“I know they are part of the package. However, I really want to finish my residency before we move in together. I’ll have two weeks of vacation after my ER rotation. So, unless my fellowship starts right away, I want us to take a little trip. I thought we could take the kids and the nanny. Since it’s our honeymoon, we’ll get a pair of suites, one for us and one for everyone else. It’s going to depend on Cody, and if he is physically ready. When we get back, I’ll move my clothes into your closet and we can use my bedroom when we want to play.”

Nyxie nodded to acknowledge his answer. He was talking about a honeymoon but she hadn’t agreed to remain married. “But I want more for them than just the logistics of where we’ll live. I need to know you will be there emotionally for them. Will you try to bond with them?”

Declan looked to the side and she could tell he was genuinely giving thought to her question before answering.

“I can picture myself coaching softball or being a Boy Scout leader. Or just helping them with their homework.”

Declan caught Nyxie’s frown. “What?”

“I don’t know if that will be a good fit. You’re…Type-A. I don’t know if you have the patience to mentor them in sports or academics. We’re far from being an athletic family. Will you turn into your dad if they keep making the same spelling and math mistakes or can’t hit a pitch?”

Leaning back in his chair he crossed his arms over his chest, and eyed her with lowered brow. “It won’t kill them to be mentally and emotionally pushed every now and then.”

“Read the next one.”

He turned his eyes down, read the next question, and barely noticed as the waitress set plates of salad in front of them. He waited until the woman was out of earshot.

“You want a safe word for the kids?”

“I want to be able to tell you when you’re pushing them too hard or when I need you to yield to my wishes about the kids.”

His mouth flattened into a straight line.

Nyxie felt his annoyance and automatically dropped her gaze. God, she hated it when she couldn’t stand up for herself. “Sir,” she said, gathering her strength. “This is nonnegotiable. I have to have my way on this. It’s an absolute deal-breaker.”

As much as she wanted to gauge his reaction, she could not bring herself to look at him. Would she be able to hold strong if she saw his displeasure? In general, Nyxie knew she was powerless to resist him.

“That’s a lot of power for me to yield. Look at me.”

Her head slowly lifted. “I’m not going to use it so the kids don’t have chores or stupid stuff like that. Maybe I’ll never use it. I know my kids. They are going to press your buttons and get on your last nerve, and I don’t know how you’re going to react. Is it so bad that I want to step between you without an argument or physically blocking you? Your father used to terrify me even though he never lifted a finger. If that was the way you were parented….”

“I’ll agree,” he interrupted. “I’ll agree if you’ll agree to let me state my case privately.”

“But I get the final say?”

She could tell he hated yielding to anyone and knew he would struggle with that edict. She couldn’t place her trust in his parenting skills based on the limited amount of time he had spent with the kids.

“Yes, but I want to revisit this in one year to possibly renegotiate.”

“Two years,” she countered

“Fine. Eat your salad,” he said, motioning with his finger at her fork and plate before looking down at the paper again. “‘No treating you like a sub in front of the kids.’ Agreed. ‘Move in with you.’ Agreed—when I finish residency. ‘Not required you to see Coach and Major’—I’ll agree as long as you agree not to refuse any formal invitation that comes from them. If they want us to come over for Christmas or Thanksgiving, we all go as a family—but not for casual visits.”

“I can live with that, but I want a code-word or phrase to get out of there if I’m feeling overwhelmed.”

“How about,
Oh, Roy, you look handsome today
?” he said, his voice rising to falsetto.

“I’d choke trying to say that,” she said, stuffing a bite of salad into her mouth and smiling at him impishly.

“We’ll figure it out.” He turned his face back to the sheet. “What is this?” he asked, smiling. “‘Love me forever,’” he laughed. “As if I could stop.”

He leaned closer and kissed her.

“If you do stop loving me, will you tell me, and divorce me before you find someone else?”

“Nyxie… I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise me. If you stop loving me, you’ll tell me before you….”

“Cheat? I doubt most men who cheat fall out of love before they do it. But I will promise that I won’t cheat.”

She nodded her acceptance, unsure if she believed him because she trusted him, or because she wanted it to be true.

“Okay,” she whispered.

“Okay? Okay you’ll stay married to me?”

“Yes,” she said. Her breath seemed to increase and her hands felt shaky.

He kissed her again, this time pulling her closer and kissing her passionately.

Suddenly, Nyxie felt his hand slide between her legs. It took a long moment for her to register that his finger felt odd but when it quietly buzzed to life, she realized he wore a fingertip vibrator at the tip.

“What are you doing?” she whispered frantically.

“Rewarding you.”

“Here! Now?”

Nyxie’s head pivoted around, but she quickly realized no one was paying any attention to them. When she turned back to him, he kissed her again. Her whole body twitched with pent-up desire. She’d never used a vibrator before but the sensations building could not be denied. Unsuccessfully trying to sit still, her buttocks tightened and her sex rode his hand. She even felt her nipples hardening inside her bra.

She tried to keep her eyes open to see his handsome face, but her eyes closed of their own volition as the vibrations overwhelmed her. At that moment, she didn’t care that there were at least thirty other people in the room or that the waitress could come back any moment. The only thing she could think of was her pending orgasm.