The Lost Soul Trilogy (Primani Book 5) (3 page)

I lost it right then. “Bear! Bear! Run!” I dove head first into the truck before Tyler could move. “Let’s go!”

It was chaos after that. Tyler jumped into the driver’s seat as Ricki dove in behind me. Everyone else was doing the same thing with a lot of screaming and yelling. No way was I getting eaten by a bear in my first snow in New York! Oh, hell, no. I was
so
out of here!

As we fishtailed down the logging road, I imagined a very surprised bear staring at our taillights disappearing in the snowy tunnel of trees.

Was my
nose
crooked? I peered closer at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. Mm, maybe it was okay. It had been a couple of months since I got out of the hospital. The heart shape of my face was back, and my lips were full from good genes instead of blood clots. I studied my eyes for changes. Wide and tilted up at the outside, they shone dark blue, but they were different since Scott. They had a shuttered look to them, a wariness that I couldn’t mask without real effort. I wasn’t quite healed. I forced a happy smile that would reach my eyes. Ugh! That’s worse. I look like a crazy person. Better to keep the smile small. I would just hope no one paid much attention to my eyes.

I was reaching for lip gloss when a movement caught my eye in the mirror. I spun around, but the room was empty. Snatching up a can of hairspray, I crept around the corner. If someone was in here, they would get a rude surprise. I was armed this time! With heart pounding in my chest, I swept my eyes around the rest of the empty apartment. I must have imagined the dark-haired man in the hall. At least my ghost didn’t look like Scott Flynn. Maybe I needed a dog.

The house party was rocking by the time I got there with Dani and Ricki. We were fashionably late, as usual, but Dani’s cousin Angela wouldn’t mind. Probably she was too busy playing hostess to notice. It had been a long time since I’d gone to a party. I was ready to have some fun tonight. I kept trying to push that man from my hallway out of my head, but he kept intruding anyway. I was meandering from the pool house back inside when I saw him again.

I stopped in my tracks and stared. Whoa!

Who are
these
guys?

There were two ridiculously gorgeous guys standing in the shadows near a covered walkway. They were talking intently, scanning the crowd for someone. There’s no way they were partying. No possible way--they were too intense, scarily so. They reminded me of Secret Service agents, but without the suits. Alarm bells clanged in my head. Instinctively, I crouched behind a snow-covered shrub to watch them. The taller one seemed to be chewing out the shorter one. The shorter one was listening, nodding his head unhappily. I couldn’t stop staring. It was him!

His hair was military short; his face hard and lean. I could see his cheekbones from my hiding place. I couldn’t make out his eyes though. He looked as if he was about to kick someone’s ass or take over a small country. He stood tensely, listening to the other one. His shoulders were squared back and tugged against his t-shirt. Taking advantage of my invisibility, I let my eyes wander over the rest of his body. Glancing down at his arms, I did a little swoon and kept going. Sadly, his good parts were hidden in the shadows. Oh, yum! He was hot. My stomach did a slow roll as I watched his lips move. Nice lips… beautiful mouth. Dangerous stranger. I gave myself a mental slap. Dangerous men were bad. I licked my lips in anticipation even though I had no intention of kissing this guy. Was he really in my house earlier? That’s impossible.

“Find her!” The wind shifted and the harsh words drifted clearly. The taller one gestured towards the house. This one practically screamed “Navy SEAL” by his massive size and bearing. Compared to the first guy, he was more bulky in the shoulders, but had a lean torso and a nice butt. I imagined he had amazing abs. Yes, he was gorgeous but looked mean. There was something about the set of his jaw that said he’d take no crap from anyone. What were they doing here?

“Mica! There you are! We’ve been looking for you. Come back inside. Someone found a karaoke machine.” Tyler interrupted my spying when he popped up next to me. Intending to drag me inside, he reached out to grab my arm, and I flinched.

The strangers zeroed in on me like I was standing in a spotlight. Both sets of eyes pinned me to the ground, and I froze like a baby deer. While Tyler babbled about karaoke, I watched them watch me. Both stared so intently that I was afraid I would burst into flames. They seemed to know me. How was that possible? Who were these guys? The big one said something to the shorter one, and they started moving in my direction. The big one moved like he was stalking prey. I yelped and bolted back to the safety of the house. I was striving for a dignified retreat but knocking people out of the way kind of ruined it.

“What’s with you? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Tyler skidded to a halt beside me.

I laughed shakily, glancing behind me, sure we’d been followed. “Did you
see
those guys?”

“What guys?”

“The two guys who were standing across from us outside! You didn’t see them? They were coming over to us.”

Tyler looked down his long nose, and said, “Dude, I didn’t see anyone but you standing behind a bush. I think you need another beer.” He put a new beer in my hand and clinked his bottle against mine in a toast.

I stayed inside the rest of the night. I kept a lookout for the ‘secret agents’ as I nicknamed them. I didn’t see them again. Maybe I had imagined the whole thing? It seemed so real though. It was really late when it was time to go home. Ricki was pretty wasted so I was driving. I wasn’t exactly sober, but hey, I had a new philosophy: I would die when it was my turn. In the meantime, I would live life as close to the edge as I wanted, and we’d just see how things turned out. Aric and Dani walked us to the car to help Ricki into the backseat. Aric made sure she had a seatbelt on and asked how I was doing.

“Oh, I’m fine. I don’t feel buzzed at all. Don’t worry about us.”

He looked dubious and told me to drive slowly because the roads were slippery. I only had to drive about 30 miles to get us home. It would be fine. Ricki fell asleep before we turned onto the main highway. I turned on the stereo and sung disjointedly to a Lady GaGa song that I barely knew. Tapping my fingers on the steering wheel, I yawned. And yawned again. The miles mocked me as we crept along in the snow. I wasn’t even sure we were really moving… My feet were freezing so I turned the heater on. Before long, the car was toasty warm and so were my eyes. Blinking to stay awake, I leaned on the steering wheel to focus better on the road. Not one of my better ideas. The woods were dark around us, and the falling snow obscured everything. It was like driving in a black and white tunnel. My eyes closed, and I blinked hard again. The snow was so pretty bouncing off my window. It was mesmerizing… I was drifting off to sleep when the car started to slide and abruptly stopped. The bump jolted me awake. I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t even driving. I was in the passenger seat.

“What the hell? How did you get here?”

The Secret Agent Man from the party pierced me with snapping eyes. “Are you crazy? You almost died back there! Do you know how close you came to wrapping this car around a tree?” His hands flew as he yelled, and I leaned away from him automatically. Taking a deep breath, he held up his hands in a gesture of peace. “Calm down; I’m not going to hurt you,” he hissed and wrapped his big hand around mine before I could protest.

I came awake slowly. Moaning happily, I stretched under the covers. So comfortable… My sheets were soft, and I was toasty warm. I felt so good. I could stay in bed all day. I cracked my eyes to look at the clock. It was 11:00. Reality brought me completely upright. It was 11:00? I hadn’t slept this long since before my mother died. And no nightmares either. My body felt rested, energized. My head was clear and awake. Suddenly I wanted to go for a run. I should be
doing
something!

After a short three block run, I flung myself back inside. What was I thinking? It was freezing out here! I noticed the camera above the door and paused. Something nagged at the back of my mind. I should remember something… something to do with the camera. I thought for a second, and it was gone. Poof! I shook my head--no idea. Ricki popped over later that day. We were sitting on the floor polishing our toenails and listening to new music. She looked a bit rough after last night.

“Oh, hey, thanks for driving last night. I’m so glad you got us home. My dad said there were a bunch of wrecks from the snow. Were you freaking out?”

I didn’t answer. I was thinking hard. That nagging was still there. It had something to do with the drive home. I was puzzling it out. I drove home, right? I remembered getting into the car. I don’t remember getting out of the car. I know I wasn’t drinking enough to black out. I’d only had two beers the whole night. A sudden flash popped into my mind. Those guys!

“Ricki! Did you see those two super-hot guys last night? They looked like secret service or something; I’ve never seen them before. Did you see them?”

“What guys? I didn’t see anyone new. But I was pretty trashed, so I wasn’t looking. What about them?”

Video tapes! I jumped up, racing to my dad’s office. I pulled up the camera feeds. I wasn’t sure what time I got home so I watched from midnight. Come on, come on. Nothing. No movement outside my door. I fast-forwarded a bit until I saw something interesting. At 1:15 a large shadow appeared in the lens’ field. I practically pressed my eyeballs to the monitor. Huh. The image showed me unlocking the door and going inside. I was alone. How was that possible? I should be able to remember that. Why didn’t I? Something wasn’t right. The tape was still running forward while I was puzzling it out. Wait! I stopped the tape. At 4:12 there was something odd. I backed it up to 1:15 to be sure. There it was again. After the door closed behind me, I saw a faint flash of yellow light in my window. It was subtle, but it was definitely not my lamp. It was fleeting, not constant like the lamp. What was that? I fast-forwarded to 4:12. There were no other flashes until that time. It was definitely something. But what? I had no clue. I took the tape and put a new one in the camera. I was pretty sure Dad wouldn’t notice.

I was trudging back through the snow when it hit me. I stopped and studied the driveway. The snow was undisturbed except for footprints. Ah ha…

Chapter 3: Winter X Games

CHRISTMAS VACATION WAS OVER. It was a new semester, and I couldn’t wait to get out of English class to find Ricki. She and I were plotting our winter plans and most of them involved snow and speed. The faster I moved the more alive I felt. I’d been chasing speed for weeks. Dani groaned every time I mentioned plans for the weekend. Poor girl! She wanted to be out with us too. She just didn’t like risking her life every time we left the house! Feeling a little guilty and waxing sentimental, I dragged up the memory of how we met last summer. We still laughed about it. She’d busted me scoping out guys from the window at Zen.

“Yummy, aren’t they?” The question and giggle came out of nowhere. Startled, I swung around, knocking over a stack of books. With my hand on my heart and my face turning red, I glared at the girl next to me. She came out of nowhere like a ghost. It was creepy. She seemed friendly enough though.

I laughed at her question and added my own opinion. “Oh yeah--they’re hot. Do you know them?”

The three guys in question were looking directly at us now. The dark-haired one was checking me out with a smirky grin. I was so busted! Oh God, just kill me now! I was mortified and hid my face behind my hand. The other girl just laughed. She thought
I
was funny? Well, that was different.

“My name’s Dani, by the way. My mom owns this store. Cool, they’re coming over. Ok, the really tall one with brown hair is Aric Talbot, and I’ve been in love with him forever. So paws off! The shorter one with red hair and dreamy green eyes is Tyler Williams, and the super-hot obnoxious one with dark hair is Scott Flynn. They hang out at the pizza place all the time.”

The bell rang, and I dragged myself out of my musings to head to art class. I had been a terrible friend lately. Dani didn’t like all the extreme sports, and I’d left her to fend for herself a lot. She didn’t understand that I needed the adrenaline to feel strong, to feel in control again. Well, I would have to spend more time with her this month. We could get our nails done or grab a movie… girly things that she’d like better than skiing. Dodging a couple making out by their lockers, I rushed around a corner when he stepped out in front of me. Unable to stop, I crashed headlong into him. The impact knocked me on my butt, books flying everywhere.

He sneered down at me, “Well, look who it is? How’s it going, bitch?” He nudged me with his boot.

People stopped all around us. The Neanderthal I ran into was Scott’s friend, J.J. With heavy bones, thick rubbery lips, and coarse brown hair, he resembled a cave man on his best day. Today he was a cave man with a bad attitude. I was about to go off on him when the atmosphere changed. Suddenly J.J.’s rapt attention was on something above me. Still sprawled on the floor, I tried to twist around to see when someone pulled me up by an arm and slid between me and J.J.

“Walk away now.”

It was
him
!

“I don’t think so,” J.J. said, smirking since he was used to getting his way.

Before anyone could react, J.J. swung a fist at the guy’s face. Lightning fast, he caught the fist in his hand then forced J.J.’s arm back to his side. He was perfectly calm as he held J.J. still with one hand. J.J. strained against his grip for a second before suddenly relaxing. In fact, he looked a little sheepish. What the heck?

“We’re done here. Don’t bother Mica again. I’d hate to hear that you did.” The sexy lilt gave me goose bumps. British? Irish?

J.J. seemed mesmerized and stared without another word. I wished I could see my rescuer’s face, but he was still standing in front of me. The view I had was pretty good though.

J.J. nodded and rubbed his hand. He had an odd look on his face as he walked away, as if he just woken up and wasn’t sure how he’d gotten there. Slightly disappointed in the non-fight, the crowd started drifting away. My hero towed me off to the side. I started to thank him, but the words disappeared when he turned his eyes in my direction. Wow. They were electric blue. Beautiful. Stunning, really. Mesmerizing, sexy, brilliant, spellbinding… I ran out of adjectives and stared like an idiot. He snapped his fingers to get my attention.

After flushing a becoming shade of magenta, I reeled in my hormones, and managed to stammer out, “Thank you… for what you did for me.”

Instead of asking me out, or asking for my phone number, he studied my flaming cheeks with an amused curl to his lips. Not quite a smile, but close.

“You’re welcome. I’m Sean.”

Later that night, Dani was bouncing off the walls of Zen. We were waiting for her mom to close the shop so we could leave. I promised to tell her all the juicy details as soon as we had some privacy. Her mother must have super powers. She always knew what we were talking about and where we were hanging out. It was uncanny. I think she has one of us bugged.

“Okay, Mica,
please
tell me about this gorgeous new guy! He shows up and rescues you from J.J.? That’s amazing.”

She
really
didn’t like J.J. He’d cornered her at the beach and tried to kiss her when she was 14. He’d been unhappy with her attitude and tried to push the issue. She managed to get away from him by raking her nails down his arm. He dropped her, and she took off running for a lifeguard. He didn’t bother her again, but he made her nervous whenever he showed up.
I
didn’t like him because he was Scott’s friend. Guess those types ran in a pack?

Grinning like an idiot, I said, “His name is Sean.” I didn’t know how to explain him so I stuck to the facts. I stopped as I remembered the tingling heat that had branded me where he touched my arm. I could almost feel it now, and my entire body responded with enthusiasm. Whew! Probably I shouldn’t think too much about that part!

That night I sat on the bed thinking things over. I hadn’t had a nightmare since the party. I was sleeping like a baby. What had changed? Maybe I was getting over things? I still missed Mom like crazy, but the pain in my heart was less stabbing. I didn’t really miss Marc anymore. Too many things had happened to dwell on him. He seemed like a saint next to Scott; after all, he’d only dumped me. Dad was trying to be better, more patient. He’d stopped nagging at me about college and planning my life. For months he’d been freaking out about my attitude. I wasn’t ready to think about college yet. It was still six months away. He thought I was unmotivated… It wasn’t that. I was dying to get out of this apartment to be on my own. I wanted that, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was waiting for something to happen. I had no idea what, but it felt like my life was paused. Before I could move on, I had one big issue to deal with: Scott and the destruction he left inside my head. I was working on that too.

Since my ankle healed, I was running and taking a self-defense class. I was still learning but was getting some good training. I was going to up the ante once I was a little stronger. I would never be a helpless victim again. If I was going down, I would go down kicking some ass. I was going to get a stun gun as soon as I could. Pepper spray has too many limitations. I would be strong and self-sufficient and in control of my destiny. That was the plan.

The snow was deep around the sides of the trails. It was so pretty out here. The forest was covered in snow; the pine trees were dark against the brilliant white. Grinning like an idiot, I adjusted slightly to stay centered. The big snowmobile responded like it was connected to me. The engine roared; the vibrations made my teeth tingle. It was amazing! The stretches of meadow were like big soft comforters. Once in a while I could see a deer bounding off to one side or another. It was the best way to see the backcountry. We were headed to a place where people were doing stunts on their snowmobiles. I trailed Ricki to a parking area and pulled off my helmet.

“Hey, Ricki! Over here!” It was Kevin. He was in line at one of the ramps. He was giving Ricki the thumbs up. She waved back.

“I don’t know what to do about him,” she confessed. “He’s really sweet, but he’s so shy. How do I get him out of his shell?” She cracked herself up and snorted.

The more she snorted, the harder I laughed. It worked for us.

Suddenly serious, she breathed, “There he goes!” Kevin was next.

We held our breath as he gunned the engine on the straightaway. Gaining full speed, he flew over the ramp into space. Once airborne, he steered the big sled into a complete flip. He pulled it around just in time and landed perfectly in the snow. Awesome! I wanted to do that! I was already heading back to my sled when a familiar voice stopped me cold.

“Yo, Dec! Wait up!”

“Omigod! He’s here! That’s him. Look, look!” I don’t know what came over me. I lost my mind in a total fan girl move, clutching Ricki’s sleeve, towing her around to see Sean. Where did my dignity go?

Fully dressed in winter clothes, he was still ridiculously sexy. I could see his dark head from here. His hair was so black it had blue highlights in the sun. Those amazing blue eyes suddenly found mine and held them. It was like looking into the ocean. I wanted to dive in. My mouth opened in an ‘O’ as we stared at each other. Eventually I realized his expression was amused again. I flipped a casual wave and whipped around to Ricki, completely mortified.

“What kind of friend are you?” I hissed before sinking into a crouch behind the sled. “Why didn’t you stop me? I’m an idiot!”

She was openly appraising Sean and his friend. “Who’s his surfer friend?” she asked with a whistle.

Before I could answer, a pair of boots appeared in front of me. I groaned. It’s
got
to be him. I peeked over the seat, and yep, it was Sean. He held out a hand. I gritted my teeth and pasted a smile on my face as he pulled me up. He immediately took a step back. What did he want? I wasn’t in any trouble right now. There’s no reason to rescue me
again
. He noticed my wariness and narrowed his eyes.

“Don’t worry. You won’t need to rescue me again. I’m not in any trouble today. No one’s here to bother me.”

Sean locked eyes with the guy he called Dec and nodded. “Sweetheart,
other
people aren’t your problem.”

“Oh, ha ha. That’s hilarious. I’m pretty sure I can manage to take care of myself. I’ve been on my own for a long time, you know.”

He cocked his head, and said softly, “Really? Are you
sure
you’re on your own?” His accent was captivating.

I’d taken a step closer before I noticed and planted my traitorous feet. “Pretty much, yes. But I’ll take help now and then. Thanks again. Okay, gotta go!” I grabbed my helmet. “Ricki, I’m up!”

Sean laid his hand on the grip, and growled, “What do you mean 'you’re up?'”

“I’m learning to jump! It’s going to be great. I’ve been waiting for months, so let go.”

“Are you nuts?” He glanced in appeal at Ricki who shrugged and laughed at him.

“I am not
nuts
. Now move or I’ll run over you.” I gunned the engine in warning. He moved in a huff.

It was amazing flying through the air. I landed with a pretty good wobble, but I didn’t lose control, and nobody got hurt. I was thrilled and sped back to do it again--and again--and one more time that day. I looked around for Sean and Dec and didn’t see them again after my last landing. They were gone.

A few nights later, Dani was sleeping over, and we were relaxing on my new pillows talking about spirituality. Dani believed in a lot of things that I didn’t. I respected her beliefs though and didn’t mind learning about them. Tonight we were talking about Heaven and Hell.

She was saying, “You have to believe in both if you believe in one. They either both exist or neither does.”

“I’m not arguing that point. I just don’t know if I still believe in either of them. I
hope
there is a Heaven because I want to think my mom is someplace like that… and not just rotting in the ground. And I’d like to think there’s a Hell too, for other people. I’m just not sure about God’s role in all this. I’m not sure He’s exactly like the preachers say. He doesn’t seem to be very kind to me.”

Dani opened her mouth, closed it, and swept narrowed eyes around the room. “Did you feel that?”

“Feel what?”

“I felt a presence just now. Didn’t you feel it too? It was like a warm breath of air moved by us.”

She was definitely creeping me out. “I didn’t notice anything. It must be the heater coming on.”

She didn’t look convinced. She stared intently at the hallway for a full minute before shrugging and getting back to her story. The hair on my neck stood up, and I shivered. I didn’t need any help being edgy at night. Let’s not talk about any unexplained 'presence' in my room. I’d start having nightmares again.

Global warming was a myth. The temperature had been well below zero for days. I dragged my purple fleece hat over my ears and tied it under my chin. Not a glamorous look, true, but at least my ears would stay attached. Tugging on my mittens, I trotted over to the railing and looked down.

I’d never heard of a frozen waterfall before. The small chasm was filled with snow; the river and falls frozen like ice sculptures. The water had roared over the rocks until it gradually froze in layers of rolling ice. Stray beams of sunlight glistened like tiny diamonds sprinkled by some capricious snow fairy. Usually thunderous, the falls were eerily muffled. Leaning over the railing, I gloried in the wonderland that Mother Nature created. The mountains called to something primal inside of me, calming my fears, strengthening my spirit. I drove here today to clear my head. I was thinking about Sean. Again. I hadn’t really seen him in the past month. Sometimes I caught a glimpse of him at school, but he didn’t talk to me. At first I thought he hadn’t seen me, but once in a while I caught him watching me. I waved or smiled, but he just turned away. That stung. What was his problem anyway? We weren’t exactly friends, but he acted like he was too good for me. I puzzled over it for weeks before finally deciding it was his problem, not mine. Life was too short to waste any more brain cells on Sean O’Cahan.