The Lost Soul Trilogy (Primani Book 5) (13 page)

Chapter 12: Mind Games

MY DAD WAS BLISSFULLY UNAWARE of my new found psychic abilities, and that was probably a good thing. He wasn’t happy with me since I disappeared for two days. I
did
send him a text at some point telling him I was at Dani’s. He didn’t appreciate getting the news after the fact. I totally understood that and vowed to keep him in the loop next time my probably-not-human boyfriend got shot by a flamethrower and needed my company.

I was on the way out the door with Domino when my phone rang. It was Ricki. She wanted to set up a road trip to Burlington for some shopping this weekend. It sounded like fun, but I wanted to see what Sean was doing. I told her I’d call her back and took off for a run. We had just finished our fourth mile when a car I didn’t recognize pulled up next to us. I immediately moved another ten feet away and wrapped my fingers around my stun gun, just in case. It turned out to be Dani and Stefan so I stopped to visit. Stefan was leaving in another month and wanted to invite me to a going away party. Wow, was it already November? I’ve totally lost track of time again. Probably I should buy a calendar.

Later that night, I sat in bed listening to some music and thinking. Some really strange things had happened, and I still didn’t have a lot of answers. Sure, the guys were something called Primani who fought for good and annihilated evil. Put that way, it sounded a little hokey and not too plausible. Did that mean they didn’t really have parents who worked in Switzerland? Were they really from Ireland? They could be sharing the same complicated fantasy and need medication to be normal. Maybe they were off their meds? I hated to think they were crazy because they seemed so interesting! There was no doubt in my mind about their abilities. I knew they could heal people and calm people. And I was pretty sure they could read minds and teleport. I hadn’t proven the teleport part, but it seemed like they could show up suddenly like the night Dec appeared out of nowhere to catch me when I was knocked out by Scott Flynn. How did he do that? I should ask Sean. Then there was the
saol
that surrounded them. They could control it and had to turn it off to touch people without shocking them. It seemed to be stronger when they were angry. The night that Sean was shot, Dec had been vibrating with anger and warned me not to touch him. He said it wasn’t safe for me. Did he have trouble controlling the power? Sean had learned to. He hadn’t shocked me in a long time. He’d warned me that I was playing with fire. I was pretty sure I still was, but it was too late for me to stop. If it involved Sean, I would play with fire until I got blown up.

A bright light flashed outside my window, and Domino perked up, but I reached for the stun gun. I was more than ready to use it if Scott showed up here. Before I could blink, Sean was suddenly standing in front of me. He grabbed my hand, twirled me around, and dipped me. He grinned wolfishly and kissed my nose before hauling me upright again.

“I
knew
it! You teleported, didn’t you?” I was torn between shock and awe.

“We don’t call it that. It’s a silly word.” He shrugged, and added, “It’s just a way to travel.” Yeah, sure, it’s no big deal. People do it all the time.

He was incorrigible. Domino was standing with her paws wrapped around his waist, rubbing her head against him. She was in love with him too. No doubt about that. I wanted to shove her out of the way and drape my own paws around him.

“So, are you ready for more answers?”

“Absolutely!” I patted the bed. “Come and sit with me, and we’ll play 20 questions.”

According to Sean, Killian was worried after the episode at their house. They had to figure out what happened to me that day in the kitchen. It was unexpected and therefore, important. Apparently, most people don’t suddenly develop the ability to read someone’s soul. Totally freaked out, they took a road trip to see someone about it. The conclusion was that I had connected to Sean when he wrapped me in his
saol
and picked up the ability from him. Probably the energy had unlocked some neurons in my brain that everyone has, but never use. Mine got turned on like a switch.

“You didn’t realize we heard each other’s thoughts, did you?” His expression was curious.

“No, I didn’t realize we weren’t speaking. I just assumed. Is that why you freaked out?”

He took my hand and kissed it. “Yes, that’s exactly why I freaked out! I was having a panic attack trying to control what I started and suddenly you’re inside my head answering my thoughts. Wouldn’t that freak you out?”

“Yeah, but wait… don’t you hear mine all the time? That’s not fair.” Not only not fair, but oh so very wrong on every possible level.

He chuckled, and said, “No, I can’t hear your thoughts all the time. God knows I’d never get out of bed if I could!” He deftly caught my hand in mid-swing.

“Oh, yeah, right. But really, can you read my thoughts?”

“I could if I really concentrated, but honestly, I don’t want to intrude like that. We don’t do that unless we absolutely need information. We can tell with a quick look inside whether a person has good or bad intentions, and that’s really what we pay attention to. It’s more like intuition than mind reading.”

We were both quiet for a little while as I absorbed what he shared with me. “What did I see when I looked into Killian’s eyes?”

“You saw what he let you see.”

“Were those memories?”

“More or less, I guess that’s as good a label as any.” He shrugged again.

“I saw him carry you away. It was so real.”

“That’s because it already happened and was clear in his mind. I have a theory that Killian let you see things that would help you to understand him and what we do. Believe it or not, he cares what you think of us. We decided that I’m going to have to stay close to you while we work this out. I’m afraid you might have picked up some other, uh, abilities from me. We should do some tests to make sure you’re okay. Killian is afraid you’re going to accidently do something dangerous.”

“He doesn’t trust me?”

“It’s not that, exactly. But you’re not used to these things. He’s right to be cautious. He’s been around awhile.”

We spent the next few hours talking over some of these 'abilities,' and I tried to do a few things. I was hugely disappointed that I couldn’t teleport or generate my own little energy field. Did that mean I didn’t have a
saol
? I couldn’t re-create the glow that Sean did so easily. My face was purple, and I panted with the effort until he finally burst out laughing and told me to forget it. He looked pointedly at the stun gun and suggested I keep carrying it if I wanted to shock someone.

Finally we sat facing each other, and he told me to look into his eyes. He wanted to see if I could read his thoughts. I looked into his eyes and felt like I was falling into the sea. His pupils were tiny inside the beautiful blues of the iris. His eyes were wide and turned up just a little on the edges. The lashes were thick and black like his hair. The little gold lights were more pronounced as he opened himself up to me. He gazed intently into my own eyes, and I felt the bond between us tighten. I clutched his leg as the visions took over.

Like before, I was overwhelmed with the sensation of spinning in my mind. Images and thoughts spun randomly, and I couldn’t see anything clearly.

“Focus, baby, just relax and slow down the spin. You can do this.”

Like struggling to stand up in violent surf, I steeled my mind to slow down the chaos. Gradually, the images became more coherent, flowing like an old movie. They were jerky at first, but at least I could see them clearly. I saw Sean as he fought fiercely in a snowy wood, striking someone and dodging the glimmer of a knife. His face was cold and completely focused as he took out his opponent without mercy. Next, he and Dec carried two small children from a burning building. Then I saw him fighting back to back with Killian. The ball of flame struck him in the stomach, and he collapsed. A wave of emotion hit me in the chest, and I sucked in air. I almost lost him! He could’ve died! Could’ve
died
… The images wavered, breaking apart.

“No emotions. Focus now. Don’t lose the grip. I’ve got you.” He squeezed my fingers, keeping eye contact.

With sheer force of will, I got my emotions back in control. The images were playing again. I saw myself running through endless woods crying for help. In this scene, I was very far away from Sean. He was watching me. Suddenly, the images ran together so fast I could only see blurry impressions--My body lying bloody on the floor in the abandoned house; then lying motionless in the hospital; then asleep in my bed. Next I saw my terrifying run through the forest to the beach. Then I was on the deck of a sailboat beckoning like a siren. Finally, I was lying naked under Sean joined as lovers, back arched, head flung back. As with Killian, I saw both images and words. This time, I was left with impressions of two words branded into my head, the essence of Sean: Protector and Primani.

Sean blinked, and the contact was broken. As before, I was sick. The room spun until I puked in the trash can beside the bed. I couldn’t stop the spinning, and I begged him to make it stop. The next thing I knew, Dec was there holding my head in his hands again.

He sounded amused as he said, “Just breathe, darlin’, in and out… in and out.”

He peered over his shoulder at Sean, and said, “You should probably learn how to do this yourself.”

Finally, the room was still, and my head felt normal again. I ran to the bathroom and washed up. When I got back, Dec was gone.

“How do you feel now?” Sean was frowning.

“I feel weirded out right now. Is this dizziness normal? I don’t like it.”

“Well, not for us. We had to learn to control the speed of the images, but we don’t have trouble with the dizziness. I think your brain is only partly wired to do this. Maybe practice would help you, if you want to do this again. You can’t just walk up to someone and read their minds. They have to participate and let you in. We don’t have that problem either. We can make eye contact with someone and see what we need to see pretty fast. But this is all new for you and us too. No one other than Primani have this ability.”

I nibbled on my lip, thinking. “Sean, how long have you been watching over me?”

He got up and went to the window. He stared into the darkness for a few minutes before turning to answer.

“I’ve been watching you since the night your mother died. Her death started a chain of events that had to play out for you. Most of those events were ordinary life things and not anything that would hurt you permanently. But then there was an
unexpected
event that got you off the path, and we had to help you.”

“Scott Flynn?” I felt a little pang at that.

His jaw tightened, and he explained, “His attack sent you into a spiral that would have destroyed you. Your recklessness was just beginning when we stepped in. Later, it would have been catastrophic. We had no choice but to interfere with your life. I hope you don’t hate us for that someday.”

“Why would I hate you?”

“You’ll see there are worse things than death.” He rolled his tense shoulders and stretched.

“You tried to stay away, didn’t you? You were so angry with me all the time.”

His mouth twisted sardonically. “Not angry with you; I was angry with myself. I wasn’t supposed to get to know you; it’s not how we usually work. But you kept getting into trouble. The three of us were sent here to keep an eye on you, but I couldn’t do it from a distance. Do you have any idea how much pain you put me through? I’ve never felt these kinds of emotions before. You make me crazy!”

I had to bite back a smile after that outburst. Instead, I nodded seriously and asked why he was still hanging around. He explained that I wasn’t the only reason they were here. He didn’t want to elaborate on that though.

Since I didn’t have school tomorrow, I tossed out an idea. I suggested we practice lying together within his
saol
. Maybe doing it again would unlock something else? Maybe we could see if we shared thoughts again? That was very cool. I wanted to try that again. In the end, I fell asleep with his arms wrapped around me. I’m pretty sure he made me fall asleep again but couldn’t protest fast enough to stop it.

Chapter 13: Curiosity and Cats

A WET NOSE IN MY ARMPIT brought me upright the next morning. Domino needed to go out so I climbed out of bed and padded to the door. Yawning, I let her out in the yard and stretched. Okay, so I’m off for the week for Thanksgiving. What to do? What to do? I had to work on some of these days, but not many. I had a lot of hours to fill. I took Domino for a run and detoured through my favorite park. It was cold today, and there was snow in the air. I was hoping to get home before it started snowing, but I ended up at the park. There was a pretty little fountain in the center, and I sat down to watch it flow.

As I sat there, my mind wandered and drifted. The sun was weak and pale, but I was comfortable enough. Domino sat like a guard dog on the bench beside me. The Princess didn’t sit on the ground. Something was nagging at me… there was something about what happened in Sean’s house that was bothering me. Something someone said… What really happened to Sean? How did he get burned? I didn’t know about any weapons that did that; but really, what did I know about weapons? I knew stun guns and pepper spray. I patted the pouch at my waist. I didn’t understand anything more lethal. Maybe there were guns that shot flames? Mentally, I shrugged. It was possible, I guess.

My thoughts turned to the strange intimacy I shared with Sean that morning. I had never felt so alive before. Even when Marc and I had messed around, I hadn’t felt that way. No, it wasn’t lust. It was different. It was a strange feeling of being relaxed and wound like a spring at the same time. I felt like I could jump up and run a marathon or fly through the air. It was amazing. But how was it possible? What was it? Was it just natural energy, but the Primani could draw it in and manipulate it? How? Why? It must have a more important purpose besides relaxing a stressed out girlfriend. Surely there was more to it than that. It was a key part of who they are--something important.

“What do you think, Domino?”

She pointed her nose up at the sky and thumped her tail. A huge sun beam streamed through a jumble of dark clouds off in the distance. It was one of those beautiful, unexpected sights. I stared in appreciation… then my mouth dropped open.

I banged on her door twice more before giving up in frustration. Damn it, Dani! Where are you? You’re the only one who won’t freak out. I paced outside the front door for another minute. No way! It couldn’t be what I thought it was. That is just not possible. I had to be so, so, so, wrong. I gave up and went home to pace someplace warmer.

Domino was lying prone on the bed watching me pace. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear she was laughing at me. She seemed to be smiling and every now and then, she wagged her tail for no apparent reason. I stopped to examine her face. She had intelligent eyes. They were beautiful too. I rubbed her ears playfully. Did dogs have minds? If they did, then they would have thoughts, right? Dogs had memories. That was a no-brainer. I wonder… I was staring at her eyes, lost in thought for a minute. Finally, I cleared my daydreams to get down to business. I changed position so I could see directly into her eyes and tried to focus.

She got up and left the bed.
Don’t even think about it
.

Dani showed up about 10 minutes later. I was literally vibrating with excitement. I was going to tell her all about my weekend, and we’d figure out what was going on.

“Well, what are you so excited about? Did something happen with Sean? Oh, my God, did you guys do it?” Her grey eyes were wide with excitement.

What? “Geez, no; I would have texted you with something that important!”

Her dimples collapsed, “Oh, that’s too bad. So what’s the news then?”

I started to tell her but something made me hesitate. As excited as I was to share this secret, I couldn’t.
Will you keep our secret, Mica?
He trusted me to keep his secrets. I felt like a jerk. I didn’t have the right to share this with anyone not even Dani. I pictured Dec’s soft blue eyes and serious face looking at me while he held my head for me. He took care of me. He was gentle and kind to me when I needed him. He’d protected and defended me. Aw hell, they all had. Killian and Sean went out of their way to keep me safe. I felt like a traitor. I couldn’t betray their trust. I sighed. Damn it! I still wanted to tell somebody. But I wouldn’t be able to do that. So I settled on something else.

Lying through my teeth, I said, “I read an article about mind reading. I’ve always wanted to do that--don’t you think that would be cool?”

She nodded, confused at my change in attitude.

“I think we should try it out on each other! Wouldn’t it be so awesome if we could learn to read minds?” Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Domino retreating to the doorway. Killjoy!

After a few minutes of talking about the mechanics of mind reading and other psychic abilities, we decided to give it a shot. Why not? I volunteered to try first. As I set us up across from each other, I felt a tiny little pang of guilt, but I was determined to practice. Other than me throwing up, what’s the worst that could happen? If Dec was right, I could learn to do this. That would be amazing!

Dani had pretty clear gray eyes with thick rings around the iris. How could I have missed this? They were so pretty, and I hadn’t noticed before. I took her hands in mine to stay balanced and got ready to focus.

“Okay, Dani, just sit still and look into my eyes.”

At first, nothing happened. I didn’t see anything beyond the eyes themselves. She shifted and blinked.

“Don’t blink! You have to stay really still. Just gaze ahead and relax.” I tried to keep my voice quiet.

“Well, hurry up then. My eyes are drying out.”

I tried again. I looked deeper into her eyes and opened my mind. This time everything clicked. I was in another world inside my head. Random images swirled around in chaos. I struggled to settle the images. After a second, I forced them into a slower moving flow of images, but they were blurry. There were snatches of vivid green trees blending into burning fires that morphed into grey stone caverns. Nothing looked to be from our world. These impressions were alien and strange as if they were completely imaginary. I saw no memories of people or landmarks I recognized. The impressions of words and memories made no sense at all. I lost control of the spinning impressions, and soon they bombarded me like bees. A sharp pain snapped behind my right eye. With a cry of pain, I tore myself away.

I dug my palms into my eyes, trying to crush the unbearable pain and crazy dizziness. I tried to stand up and fell right down. I curled into a ball as the disjointed images of Dani’s mixed with my own nightmares and thundered through my head. Scott Flynn’s evil face appeared stretched and disfigured. I couldn’t see my own thoughts anymore, just the nightmarish pictures. I tried to focus on Sean’s face, and I couldn’t see it. I couldn’t pull any of my memories into focus. My mind was out of my control. I couldn’t move and the pain in my eye was excruciating. Dec’s face flashed in my head long enough for me to realize I needed to call him. I wasn’t up to yelling so I whispered his name with my forehead anchored to the floor.

Warm breath tickled my face. Dec. He was using his thumbs to massage my temples and the delicate bones around my eyes. It felt heavenly.

I felt his chest tense with anger. “Good, you’re alive. What the hell were you thinking? Are you
trying
to kill me?” His thumbs were working magic even through his scolding.

I tried to turn my head, and he firmly pushed it back down again. I said, “I tried to practice… you know what.” I looked around. “Where’s Dani?”

“I sent her home. I told her you had a seizure, but she shouldn’t worry about you tonight.” He was gritting his teeth.

“And she bought that? She would never leave me if she thought I was sick.”

“I can be very persuasive. She didn’t have a
choice.
I’m not happy about that either. You put me in very bad position tonight. It’s not cool for me to adjust Dani’s memories. I hate doing that. I hope it was worth it.”

“Oh, Dec, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for anything bad to happen. I just--” I started to explain, but he cut me off.

“Never mind the apologies--Just tell me everything that happened. Don’t hold anything back,” he demanded.

I told him about the nightmare of uncontrolled chaos and how it escalated and got more violent inside my mind. I shuddered as I told him about the pain in my eyes, and the overwhelming sensation of spinning. By the time I was done, I was crying in his arms with his hand patting my back awkwardly. The sound of another voice stopped me cold.

“Dec! What the hell are you doing
here
?”

“Killian, it’s not what you think!” I tried to get up, but Dec pushed me back.

“Sit!” he ordered.

With one last pointed look, he pulled Killian into the other room to talk. Killian was livid and didn’t bother to hide it. I curled back into a fetal position and tried to lie still. My head felt odd, and my eye was twitching. Worst of all, I felt guilty and stupid. What was I thinking? I had no idea it was so dangerous. I was an idiot.

A bit later, Killian read me the riot act
and
raked me over the coals. He had no sympathy for a stupid girl who was determined to play with fire. How did it feel to get burned? Was it worth the pain, the danger? Did I want to destroy my mind? What about Dani? Didn’t I care about her? Wasn’t she supposed to be a friend? How could I put her in danger like this? What if I had passed out before calling for Dec? He went on and on with scolding and accusations. He didn’t even need to raise his voice.

I got the point. I had no argument, no defense. I was a terrible person. I sucked. Damn. I was trying to get angry, but he was right. I was wrong. I sat stone-faced while I got my butt chewed. Eventually he wound down and slowed his pacing.

I finally noticed he was wearing black camouflage pants and a black tee shirt with black boots. He looked like a commando. He was armed too. The bulge of a pistol tucked under his shirt was unmistakable. He hadn’t shaved, and his face was shadowed. If possible, he looked more lethal than before. I gulped. Who was this guy? If I didn’t know he was protecting me, I would be very afraid of him.

“You should
always
be afraid of me!” he snapped in my face.

I had nothing witty to say to that. Did he just read my mind? I was too freaked out to ask at the moment. He continued to lecture for another few minutes.

Dec eventually interrupted. “Uh, hey, I think she’s still in some pain. I should probably finish healing her before, uh, we leave.”

Killian just growled, “Whatever.”

He stood brooding while Dec came over to me. I lay down with my head on my pillow. He put his lips against my forehead and closed his eyes. His hands were on either side of my head pressing gently. I felt a warm pulsing under my skin where he touched me. My blood flowed smoothly and gently under the surface but with more urgency than usual. I recognized the
saol
immediately and surrendered to it. Through my eyelids, I saw a faint light that wasn’t there before. Dec moved his fingers across my eyes again and paused at the temple. I felt a warm pulsing behind my right eye. Then the pain was gone, and his hands were still. When I opened my eyes, he smiled down at me and winked. Killian snorted impatiently across the room.

He said, “We’re not done, Mica. We have to leave for now though. We have
important
work to do.” He stalked over and gripped my hands in his, forcing me up to meet his eyes.

“Don’t try anything like that again! You have no idea what could happen, and I don’t have time to explain now. We have something urgent to take care of, and I can’t send Dec back here again for a while. I want your word on this.
Promise
me.” It wasn’t a request.

I could hardly meet his eyes so he shook me. “Okay, Killian, I promise. I feel horrible and stupid. I won’t do it again! You have to believe I don’t want anything to happen to you guys. I know what you do matters.” Whatever it is…

He nodded and motioned for Dec to join him. He was wearing the same clothes as Killian from the tee shirt to the boots. Does he have a gun too? He raised his eyebrows when he caught me checking him out. He picked me up in a bear hug and pressed a kiss against my cheek. I felt the slight shock at the contact and looked at him with a question in my eyes.

“
Everyone
matters, Mica. You’re part of us now. I hope you’re ready.”