The Lonely Whelk (25 page)

“
John doesn’t want them to
ask us questions,” Kaia answered, “I guess because we know too
much.”

Hazel nodded. “What was your name?”

“
I’m Kaia, John’s intern.
How can you understand what I’m saying when the monkey doesn’t
repeat it?”

“
John gave me translation
stones that I put in my ears.” Hazel gestured towards one of her
ears, but Kaia couldn’t see anything.

“
I didn’t know that
technology existed,” Kaia said.

“
I didn’t either.” Hazel
grinned. “So can I ask – what exactly do I know too much
about?”

“
Your ship can travel in
time,” Kaia replied. Hazel’s eyes widened until they were so big
that Kaia thought she could see all the way to Hazel’s optic nerve
and sclera if she had the right kind of light.

“
Time travel isn’t
possible, is it?”

Kaia shrugged. “John says it is, and so does
some of my math, although I haven’t had time to do all of it.”

“
But… but… how?”

“
Well…” Kaia began, but
then the door to the closet burst open and John stood there,
smiling cheerfully.

“
Sorry about that, ladies,”
he said. “Hazel, I want you to turn that monkey off. I told the
police everything that you ‘know’ and I want you not to be able to
speak their language. Pretend you have no idea what’s going
on.”

Hazel nodded and reached up to turn a switch
on the monkey’s tail.

John led her to the police officer and then
guided Kaia away from the conversation.

The brown furry robot monkeys were carted
away by a team of graduate students to be studied and used. As they
walked, John explained that the original robot – Squeak – who
created all of these monkeys, had been built by someone named Lake
Oliphant XIII, Engineer, who had died at a premature age. Kaia, of
course, had heard of the famous engineer, but hadn’t known just how
many robots he had ultimately created.

Finally, the commotion faded into the
background as they rounded a corner and stepped through a doorway.
Kaia felt relieved as she sank into a chair in a white-walled
classroom. John plopped down on the floor and leaned against a
wall.

“
So what just happened?”
Kaia asked as the gears in her brain began to click into place. She
could remember bits and pieces; an image of Hazel’s hair peeking
out from behind a column; Clyde’s hands resting on his mother’s
handcuffs; fluorescent lights glinting off of Quin’s bald head; a
notebook with the words ‘psychopathic nut job’ written on a page;
Hazel’s huge eyes staring at her in surprise.

“
I thought you may have
shut down a bit,” John said kindly. “You looked a bit like a robot
with an overloaded hard drive. In short, we mopped up the mess.
Perla and her crew have been taken to jail. Clyde is babbling
quotes from Ivanna the Bard at our in-house counselor. Maxwell will
be taken to the Peabody Asylum where he will be taken good care of.
And now it is my turn to debrief you.”

He sat silently for a moment, giving her
time to absorb everything that he had said. Then he straightened
his tie – decorated with a dragon breathing fire – and began to
pace back and forth.

“
As you have probably
realized, the seven-sided Door is no ordinary Door.”

“
It’s a time machine,” Kaia
blurted.

“
Well, yes. I mean, not
exactly, but yes. It is limited to places and times which have
Doors. For instance, the Ford Theatre where Abraham Lincoln was
killed does not have a Door, so we couldn’t pop by and find out who
killed him.”

“
Couldn’t we go to a Door
someplace else on the planet and just walk there?” Kaia
asked.

John frowned. “Maybe, but the farther away
you go, the less likely you are to make it in time for the event.
The Door has one fatal flaw: it becomes more and more unstable when
it goes to the same place multiple times – like we did today. If
you use a different Door or a different time-Door I think it would
be fine, but I haven’t tested it, and probably won’t. I think time
travel is too dangerous, and I am going to send Hazel back to Earth
and then teach her how to stay in one place. I can’t have the rest
of Perla’s crew – the ones who aren’t going to jail – figuring out
where I hid it. Then, when I die, I will release the formula to the
public and they can deal with the consequences.”

“
I figured it out,” Kaia
said softly, leaning forward and putting her head on the desk in
front of her. “And I told Hazel.”

John nodded. “I imagined you would figure it
out, once you knew it was a theoretical possibility. I would
appreciate it if you kept quiet about it. I will talk to Hazel,
too, so she understands.”

It was Kaia’s turn to nod, albeit a very
slow nod.

“
Now I have to send Hazel
home. Would you care to join me?”

They stood and headed back towards the Door
Room. The spinning in Kaia’s head had subsided a great deal. She
was feeling calmer – more focused on the world around her and less
on the world inside her head. Hazel was sitting in a chair next to
the office hosting the Door when they entered, where the police had
left her after their conversation. She slowly stroked the soft fur
of her translation monkey.

“
How are you?” John
asked.

“
Fine,” she replied, the
robot repeating her words so that Kaia could understand. “Just a
little tired and confused. And I really want to go
home.”

“
I am going to teach you
how drive your ship,” John said, “although you’ve probably mostly
figured it out.”

They headed towards the little tourist shop,
now sitting awkwardly inside Kaia’s ‘office.’

“
They don’t have cognitive
mathematics on Earth yet,” John began, “but this branch of physics
basically proves that human thought and behavior can be
mathematically determined.”

“
Well, that takes all the
fun out of things,” Hazel said.

“
It’s incredibly
difficult,” he continued, “because it involves allowing for so many
variables. So it’s only semi-useful in the long run. It’s easy to
do the math wrong. Except Kaia-kee always gets it right.” He smiled
at her.

She flushed and shook her head. “Not when
it’s cognitive mathematics, I don’t,” she muttered.

“
So the basic idea is that
you think where you want it to go. Then you activate the target
indicator – in this case, walk through the door into the back room
of the shop.”

“
I think about it,” Hazel
said incredulously. “That’s it?”

“
Don’t knock the science!”
John frowned a little, but the expression didn’t last long. “It
sounds simple, but it’s really not.”

“
I have another question,”
Hazel said, turning to look at John with her hands on her hips.
“Why is my shop a magic disappearing spaceship? What did you do to
it? And why
my
shop?”

Kaia turned to look at John, too. She felt
rather curious herself.

John looked sheepish and ran a finger
through his hair. “Well,” he began hesitantly, a little embarrassed
smile crossing his lips. “It may have been… a mistake of
sorts.”

Kaia could feel herself start to grin. She
could tell this was going to be good.

“
Well, Earth is something
of a habit for me.”

“
Obsession,” a deep voice
sounded from behind them.

Kaia jumped. Once again she had not noticed
Quin standing right behind her. A small amused smile flashed across
his features for a fraction of a second.

“
Perhaps a small
obsession,” John conceded.

Hazel raised her eyebrows.

“
So a few years back – our
years, mind you, they’re longer than your years – I snuck over to
Earth. We’re not supposed to do that, you see. It’s against all the
rules. And I mean
all
the rules, right up to … well,
God.

“
Anyway, I wanted to try
this thing I read about called a ‘Pub Crawl.’ It’s this thing where
people go from bar to bar—”

“
I know what it is,” Hazel
interrupted.

“
Right. Of course you do.
You’re from Earth.” John nodded and began to untie and retie his
tie. “So at my first bar, I met your dad. A really nice fellow, he
was, and extremely smart, too. He bought me a drink and we started
talking.”

“
I see,” Hazel nodded with
understanding. “My dad was exactly the sort of person who would
meet someone like you. Let me guess – you talked about
physics.”

“
We did!” John grinned as
he remembered. “After about the third drink I was feeling… well,
that way you feel…”

“
Drunk,” Hazel
suggested.

“…
and I started telling him
about some science that is way beyond Earth. I am extremely lucky
your father is a trustworthy guy. I told him about my idea for a
time machine based on the new Door—” he looked at Kaia. “—the
Bridge Door I talked about in class this morning?”

Kaia nodded in understanding.

“
By the time I finished
telling him about it, I was convinced that all I needed was a place
to do it. He was a bit drunk too, at this point (although not as
drunk as me), and told me to do it to his shop.”

“
And you did,” Hazel
offered. “Where was I?”

“
You were sleeping on the
little cot in the back room. We went back and your dad sent the
babysitter home. I was very quiet, I promise.”

“
So how come we never went
anywhere while my dad was alive?” Hazel asked.

John shrugged. “I don’t think he believed it
worked. But when he died, the ship attached itself to the nearest
living thing because it needs a brain to direct it. That was
you.”

“
No kidding,” Hazel
muttered, reaching forward and pushing open the door to her
demolished shop. The graduate students had done their best to clean
up, but it still looked like the night after a party full of
teenagers.

John turned to look at her. “Anyway, all you
have to do,” he said, “is decide you want to go somewhere and
direct your thoughts in that direction. Then step through the door
into the back room. Also, try not to go to the same place twice. It
will destabilize the technology. This is experimental technology,
remember.”

Hazel nodded, and turned back to look at
Kaia and John. “Will I ever see you guys again?” she asked. “I
mean, if I don’t decide to come here myself?”

“
I’ll stop by as often as
you want,” John replied. “Or you can find me by mailing this
address.” He handed her a piece of paper.

Quin grunted and shook his head.

“
What?” Kaia
asked.

“
A post office box on
Earth,” Quin muttered.

“
Shhh!” John hissed. “That
is a secret.”

A smile began to slowly blossom across
Hazel’s face.

“
What?” John
asked.

“
I don’t have to go
anywhere if I don’t want to.” Her smile grew broader.

“
Yes…” John stated slowly,
raising an eyebrow.

“
That means I can have
friends. Maybe date. Or buy groceries without worrying if my shop
will leave without me.”

“
Yes...”

Her smile turned into a blazing beaming
grin, spreading across her face like a sunset. “And I can go back
and visit my father’s grave. And I can pay taxes!”

Kaia smiled as she watched Hazel do a little
dance.

“
It was nice to meet you,”
Hazel’s robot repeated as Hazel held out her hand towards
Kaia.

“
And you,” Kaia
replied.

“
Oh, and hang onto those
jewels,” John said, gesturing to her ears. “They’re expensive and
might come in handy.”

“
I will!” Hazel’s grin
widened even more. “And now I’m going home!”

“
Safe travels,” Kaia said,
and as she watched, first Hazel disappeared into the back room of
the shop, and then the shop disappeared altogether. It was as if it
had never been there.

John turned to Kaia.

“
I think you can go home
now.”

Kaia sighed with relief, her whole body
relaxing as she began to imagine the deep comfort of her mattress,
her head sinking into the soft pillows, cool sheets wrapping around
her legs—

“—
one more thing,” John
interrupted her train of thought. He held out his hand and grinned.
“Welcome to the Globe.”

Kaia smiled, shook his hand, and then she
went home.

How are you, hm?” Mr. Oliphant asked Maxwell
Dippings, villain.

“
That isn’t the right
question,” Maxell answered.

“
How is Maddy?” Mr.
Oliphant corrected.

“
She is terrible!” Maxwell
whined. “You should have seen that evil, horrible, stupid, nephew
person punch her in the nose. She says it still hurts, and it’s red
and bruised and the Doctors won’t even look at it! I am so mad. Can
you please do something about it?”

“
I will see what I can do,”
Oliphant replied, glancing at Maxwell’s broken and bruised nose.
“So how are you?”

“
I am fine. There is good
food here.” He nodded, looking around the large room. They sat at
white picnic-table style tables that were chained to the floor. A
few other therapist-patient pairs sat at other tables around the
room. Maxwell leaned forward conspiratorially. “The food tastes
better than pigeon. And I like the colours here.” He gestured
towards the beige walls and white tables, and then leaned back
nonchalantly and looked around.