The Lonely Heart (12 page)

They were well-hidden, no one else around. The touch felt so good.

Guilt tried to surge again and Isaiah batted it down. He braced his legs, balls drawing up as that touch sent blood rushing to his cock. Good. He didn’t need it in his head right now. Thinking was vastly overrated.

“Mmm, bit distracted, there.” The cowboy pulled his hand free and rubbed Isaiah through the dampening fabric of his briefs. “Can’t have that, now, can we?”

Without another word, the guy loosened his grip and dropped to his knees. Isaiah moaned loudly when a wet mouth rubbed against his still-trapped cock, the heat nearly unbearable. Cool air hit his skin, making him shiver violently.

Isaiah looked down at that dark head, felt the stranger’s hands braced on his thighs.

Arousal wanted to swamp him, wanted to take over completely.

He thought he was going to be sick.

Gasping for air, Isaiah put his hands on the man’s shoulders and shoved. The cowboy sat back, gaze annoyed.

“What the hell now?”

“I can’t do this.” Isaiah found his uncertainty sliding away, the doubts that had been plaguing him all night were silenced. “I’m sorry, man, but I can’t.”

For a minute, Isaiah thought he was going to have a fight on his hands. The man’s hands tightened on his thighs, his lips thinning. Then the brunet seemed to rein himself in.

He stood quickly, wiping off his hands.

“Whatever, man.”

Isaiah thought he heard the words ‘cock-tease’ as his potential hook-up stalked off in annoyance. Isaiah sighed heavily, part relief, part frustration. Hell. He hadn’t been laid in ages—the last trip had been just as fruitless—and here he was leaning against a wall, freezing his ass off in the cold, with his dick hanging out of his pants.

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THE LONELY HEART K.M. Mahoney 76

He was an idiot. A total and complete idiot.

Isaiah cursed. He stuffed his cock back in his jeans, ignoring the discomfort when he zipped back up. He deserved it. That, and more. Fuck, his head was a goddamned mess.

Yeah
, he thought again.
I’m an idiot.

Making his way back inside, Isaiah added,
An idiot who’s about to get really, really drunk.

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THE LONELY HEART K.M. Mahoney 77

Isaiah wrote another note on his list, biting his lip as he tried to think of anything else they might need. His head gave a protesting twinge as his brain tried to make sense of the messy scrawl on the paper. He was still feeling the slight effects of a lingering hangover from the night before. He’d stopped drinking at about eleven, crashed in his truck overnight, then had driven back in the wee hours of the morning.

He really, really wanted to go back to bed. It had started snowing on his way back, though, and there was too much to do. He couldn’t take a sick day, especially not when it was his own stupidity that was making him sick.

The snowfall had finally tapered off around late morning and the sun had emerged.

Little by little, the snow was melting away. Big drifts still nestled against buildings and fence lines, but the roads were clear. They had a few weeks, hopefully, before the snow would stick around.

Joseph had run into Edmonton to pick up their feed order the day before, but more was needed. Two of their mares had decided to pop out late foals, with a third showing signs of carrying, as well. Isaiah was gonna have a long talk with the boys about that one. She wasn’t supposed to be bred just yet, and certainly not until spring. Damned if he could figure how it happened, but now he needed additional supplements and the feed wasn’t going to last. Add to that and someone—Isaiah wasn’t naming names, curse Tommy’s hide—had miscalculated on the amount of woodchips stored away. Isaiah had already made three passes through the main barn and the breeding barns and added something to his list every time. Dang thing was nearly two pages long. Of course, his handwriting was on the large side, but still…

“Boss, maybe you should let me go into town for you today.” Joseph shifted his weight uncomfortably, breaking into Isaiah’s thoughts. He’d been tagging along with Isaiah, helping make plans, pointing out any shortfalls in stock, and bringing him up to date on some of the piddling little issues Isaiah hated dealing with.

“Why should I do that?” Isaiah was only half paying attention to Joseph. He scanned the list again, trying to see if he’d missed anything else.

“It’s just, there’s talk again and it might be better—”

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With that comment, Joseph gained Isaiah’s full attention. He looked up, his stern glare cutting Joseph off mid-sentence.

“Don’t be an idiot,” he snapped.

Joseph obviously wanted to keep protesting but knew better. It wasn’t like they hadn’t covered this ground before.

Isaiah had never hidden the fact that he was gay. He didn’t go around telling everyone and their daughter, but his trips to Dave’s were a dead giveaway. Everyone for six counties knew what went on there. Since his sexuality didn’t bother Grady, Isaiah figured nothing else really mattered.

But every now and then, the conservative townspeople of Edmonton got riled up about it, usually after one of Isaiah’s recreational trips reminded them. It mostly just annoyed Isaiah. He had a thick hide—he could ignore the slurs and insults and glares easily enough—

he was used to it. And he could more than hold his own physically, although it rarely came to that. When the tempers were up, he was always careful to stick to public places. The biggest bigots were mostly cowards. They’d jump him in an alley but they weren’t about to attack him in full view. Even if no one would fuss about it—too much.

“At least let me go with you.”

“Fine,” Isaiah said. “Go let Grady know we’re leaving.”

“Will do, boss.” Joseph leapt to obey and Isaiah sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Lately, his men couldn’t get away from him fast enough. Grady, too. They were both acting like asses and knew it, but the tension between them was out of control lately. Ever since that blasted argument. Isaiah had hoped to ease some of the tension with last night’s trip, but obviously that hadn’t panned out quite as planned.

After that one time, Isaiah hadn’t caught Grady studying ASL again. Grady and Josh were getting along like the best of friends, though, and on the surface, all was well.

Isaiah was just waiting for the next disaster to crop up. The simmering tension hadn’t exploded yet, but it was only a matter of time. If bigoted townspeople were it? Bring it on.

That was familiar. That he could handle. It was the emotional crap that was kicking his ass.

“Ready, boss.”

Isaiah nodded curtly to Joseph and they climbed into the truck. At the last second, Josh came tearing out of the barn, waving madly.

“Looks like someone wants to come with us,” Joseph said wryly.

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“Yeah. Not sure it’s a good idea.”

Joseph shrugged. “Can’t hurt. Certain people in Edmonton can be bastards, but maybe a kid will curb their tongues some, huh?”

Isaiah wasn’t too sure about that but as he wasn’t hiding, it wasn’t fair to make Josh hide, either. Josh understood that Isaiah was different, as much as it was possible for a ten-year-old to understand. Isaiah and Joseph would both be there to keep an eye on him and make certain no one said anything too nasty in his hearing. And Joseph might have a point.

A kid around might keep some people in check. Isaiah should have felt guilty about that but he didn’t. Josh loved going into town, particularly if they were headed to Feed ’N Tack. The owner, Carl Evans, had taken a liking to Josh and the feeling was mutual.

Isaiah nodded his consent and Joseph clambered in the truck before scooting over to the middle. Josh climbed in after him, plopped down in the passenger seat, and buckled up.

Then he looked over with a huge grin and Isaiah immediately felt his mood lighten. It was just too hard to stay angry around Josh. The little imp knew it, too.

The twenty-minute trip flew by as Joseph and Josh entertained themselves with some weird, made-up game that the guys played with Josh. Isaiah didn’t pretend to understand the rules, or even the point of the game, but it seemed to provide no end of amusement for them. He looked over occasionally when the pair would break out into uncontrollable laughter, but he spent most of the time absorbed in his own thoughts. All too soon, they passed the sign for Edmonton.

“Feed store first,” Isaiah announced. “Hopefully we can find everything there. If not, we might have to trek over to the Farm and Fleet in Barton.”

“Should just go there first,” Joseph muttered.

“Don’t be such a pessimist,” Isaiah countered.

“It’s only an extra fifteen minutes,” Joseph argued. “There’s better stores. And Josh and I could get ice cream.”

Isaiah raised an eyebrow and stared pointedly out of the windshield, where large flakes of snow were spitting down intermittently. “If you really want ice cream in this weather, be my guest,” he said dryly. “The Dairy Queen in Edmonton is open year-round now.”

Joseph grumbled something and slumped in his seat, folding his arms over his chest.

Isaiah figured it was better for Joseph that he wasn’t able to make out the words.

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Josh watched the interchange with a furrowed brow. When he caught Isaiah’s eye, he cocked his head in question.

“Nothing to worry about, squirt,” Isaiah assured him. “Joseph is just a little cranky today.”

“Cranky?”

Josh giggled. The word might have expressed disbelief, but Joseph’s tone was, well, cranky.

Isaiah pulled to a stop in front of the feed store still chuckling. Josh was out the door before he even got the engine turned off, with Joseph hot on his heels.

Sometimes Isaiah wondered which one was the kid and which one the adult. Of course, he had the same thoughts about most of his guys—had done even before Josh came. Tommy, in particular, had a talent for bringing out the immature side of people.

Isaiah sauntered inside, giving Carl a brief wave. “Jameson,” he called to the clerk. “I’m gonna need some feed. We went through the last batch quicker than expected. Price the same?”

“Went up thirty cents,” Jameson called back. “I’ll ring ya up and get Curtis ready to load.”

Isaiah nodded his appreciation, heading for the tack. He passed Josh on the way and knocked the kid’s hat askew. Josh grinned up at him.

“It ought not to be allowed.”

The unfamiliar female voice was almost shockingly venomous. Isaiah’s head swung around. A middle-aged blonde wearing the local uniform of boots and jeans stood a few feet away, glaring at him. When he caught her gaze, she took a step closer.

“You should be ashamed of yourself,” she spat. “Exposing a child to your filth.”

Isaiah took an involuntary step backwards, then stopped, not about to retreat from this.

“Better my filth than your narrow-minded bigotry,” he retorted.

Then he nearly smacked a hand over his mouth.
Stupid, Isaiah, really stupid. You know
that only encourages them.

“You just wait,” she threatened. “When people find out what you’re doing with that kid, someone will step in.”

“What I’m doing?” Oh, hell, no. Now that was just uncalled for. “I’m raising my brother. Exactly what do you think is going on?”

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His voice must have risen, because suddenly Joseph was there, laying a restraining hand on his arm.

“Come on, boss,” Joseph urged. “We’ve got feed to load.”

“Where’s Josh?” Isaiah asked without taking his eyes off the woman.

“Carl took him outside. Come on, man. We’ve got work to do.”

With one last glare, Isaiah spun around and let Joseph usher him outside. Once there, he planted his hands on his hips. Looking up, Isaiah stared blankly at the grey sky and let out a deep breath.

“Don’t let it get to you,” Joseph said in a low, intense voice. “She’s just an old harpy.

Don’t pay any attention to her. Those who know you know you’re not hurting anybody.”

“You know how people are around here,” Isaiah argued, sneaking a quick look to make sure Josh wasn’t in earshot. “If they start stirring up trouble—”

“Don’t go creating problems,” Joseph advised. “He’s your brother. You’re his legal guardian. Not much anyone can do, huh?”

“I wouldn’t bet on it. He’s only my half-brother, and there’s other family members out there. Just ’cause his mom thought I’d be best doesn’t mean others would agree.”

“Maybe you should lay low for a while, then,” Joseph suggested. “Let people forget.”

“You really think that will fix this?” Isaiah demanded. “Somehow I doubt me hiding is going to make any difference to the stiff-necked, backward, homophobic—”

Joseph cut his rant off with a quick hand motion and a nod of his head. Isaiah closed his eyes and took a few more breaths, trying to get his temper under control. His smile was probably a bit fake but it was the best he could do.

“Hey, Josh. Carl spoiling you?”

Josh tilted his head, eyes solemn. Goddamn it, the kid was too smart for his own good.

Or at least, for Isaiah’s peace of mind.

Isaiah’s smile was more genuine this time, although still a touch forced. He dropped a hand onto Josh’s shoulder and squeezed.

“Come on, kiddo. You can help me load up. Then maybe you and Joseph can get that ice cream he was talking about.”

“Boss…”

Isaiah shook his head. “You’ve got the list,” he said softly over his shoulder. “I’m not going back in. Best if I work off some of my temper, huh?”