The Light of the Blue Pearl (32 page)

She wondered if they would still be smiling
when she and Ian said their final goodbyes. Despite his brave
words, she wondered how he would truly fare after all was said and
done.

On their way to the airport Ian held her
hand as she looked out the window at the beautiful blue waters one
last time. The trip had seemed far longer than a week, but all the
same she didn’t want to leave.

She thought of Scott then, wondered how his
night had been and where he was on his trip home. Her heart it
seemed was never in the same place at the same time, she wondered
if it ever would be.

When they arrived at the airport she was
actually quite relieved that Ian would be traveling along with her
for most of the trip. When he had first told her that they had the
same flight plan she had had mixed feelings, thinking perhaps the
goodbye would have been better early on – like ripping off a
Band-Aid.

She had already said what she wanted to say,
so maybe the hardest part was over, though she doubted that very
much.

His friends were on the shorter flight as
well, though he must have said something to them because they
didn’t say a word to him the entire time, leaving the moments in
the air completely to him and to her. She held his hand as the
airplane took flight, held it for the few moments they were in the
air, and held it as they touched down in Belize City.

They didn’t talk.

They didn’t need to.

Their flight to Miami would be considerably
longer. Conversation was more likely during that flight, though she
had no idea what the topic would be, she didn’t care; she was
simply trying to enjoy her last few moments with Ian.

They had a couple of hours of waiting in
Belize before the flight would leave; they spent their time talking
with his friends about their trip and about the earthquake the
night before.

Ian managed yet again to get his seat
changed so that he could sit with her, his friends were seated far
away, for which they were both grateful. They would for just a
little longer feel like it was just the two of them before
returning to reality, returning to their lives, though she couldn’t
even imagine that at the moment.

The two hours sailed by and anxiety over the
flight never once entered her mind. She was instead lost in Ian,
feeling his hand holding hers and seeing him smile at her. She did
her best to soak it into her memory.

During the flight he gave her his address
and phone number, making her promise that she would contact him and
let him know, someday, what she had decided.

When they finally touched down in Miami she
felt his grasp on her hand tighten, she looked up into his eyes to
see that they were glistening.

She had never seen Ian cry before and the
sight was more than she could take. Her tears started to flow
freely even though she was trying her best to hold them back.

She tried to give him a strong and
reassuring smile that this was for the best, though she still
wasn’t completely convinced herself.

When they had gotten off the plane it was
time for them to part ways, she would be continuing on and he would
be going home.

“Do you want me to wait with you,” he asked,
his last effort, not wanting to say goodbye.

She wiped her tears away. “No,” she said,
her voice weak and shaky. “I think it’s best you don’t.”

They were standing just inches from one
another, holding each other’s hands. His friends were waiting for
him, she could feel their eyes on them – she wished they would
disappear.

“Are you sure?” he asked, one last time.

“Yes,” she said. “I’m sure.”

He pulled her to him then, hugging her
tighter than he ever had, almost as a threat that he wouldn’t ever
let go.

“I’ll always be here for you, Ethne,” he
said, she could tell he could barely get the words out. “If you
ever need me…know that.”

When he finally did let go she felt her
breath return to her, she had almost wished it hadn’t. Her heart
was beating fast, the moment she had been dreading was here; this
was the goodbye.

She almost couldn’t bare it.

They looked into each other’s eyes knowing
it would likely be the last time they ever did. He kissed her
softly, lingering sweetly only for a minute, he was about to pull
away and leave when she grabbed his hair and pulled him back to
her. She kissed him deeply almost uncontrollably forgetting
herself, forgetting time.

When she stopped they looked at each other
one last time before he turned and walked away. Goodbye was never
spoken; he didn’t look back.

He was gone so quickly it was almost like he
had never been there; she was standing alone in the airport, tears
streaming down her face, her heart felt as if it had shattered into
a million pieces.

S
cott was pacing
back and forth waiting for Ethne’s plane to arrive; it had seemed
like forever since he had seen her, even though it hadn’t been that
long.

When the earthquake hit he had been
terrified something had happened to her, when the tsunami warning
was in effect he was terrified something was about to.

The relief he felt when she picked up the
phone and told him she was fine was indescribable, and when she
returned his words of love…well that was…completely unexpected.

Even though she had been with Ian, and that
was a fact he wasn’t all that pleased about, he was glad she was
safe and that she was soon going to be back in his arms…he
hoped.

The anxiety he felt took him back to the
year before when he had been waiting for word on her progress
during his ridiculous scavenger hunt; he still couldn’t believe she
had gone through with that.

Where was the damn plane?
He thought.
His impatience was obviously starting to make everyone else
nervous, people were starting to stare.

As he watched the screen waiting for her
flight to come up he thought about the saying of the watched pot
never boiling, so instead he turned his attention to the bags
making their way around in circles.

It didn’t quite have the same feeling when
you weren’t searching for your own, that hope that it would arrive
like a friend you were separated from. But being transfixed on the
bags did its trick, pretty soon the screen changed and her flight
was showing that it had arrived. It wouldn’t be long now; he
resumed his pacing.

When people started filing in and
surrounding him he hadn’t realized how hard it might be to see her
in the crowd, he scanned everyone as they entered and thought he
had been thorough…but there was no sign of Ethne. He waited, hoping
he’d just missed her, but soon everyone had claimed their bags and
had left.

His heart was in his throat, he didn’t know
if she had decided not to come home or if something had happened to
her.

He checked his phone, there were no
messages. Frantic, he asked a ticket agent if she could check to
see if Ethne had even been on the plane; she declined.

“Please?” he said. “She’s my girlfriend, and
she has epilepsy. I just need to know if something happened to
her.”

“I’m sorry sir,” she said. “I wish I could
help, but I’m not allowed to give out that information.”

She could see how distraught he was, her
hands were tied as far as the name was concerned. “But I can tell
you we had no passengers with that particular problem, so perhaps
it was the wrong flight?” she asked, offering him hope that it was
a simple misunderstanding.

He was almost positive that she had said she
would be in on this flight though, and he didn’t typically get such
details mixed up. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was
wrong. Even though the ticket agent had tried to put his mind at
ease, the only thing that would do that would be seeing Ethne’s
face again.

“Thank you,” he said to the ticket agent,
even though she hadn’t been all that helpful.
Damn rules
, he
thought, before asking her if there were any other flights coming
in from Miami.

“Not tonight,” she said, clicking keys
quickly and scanning the screen in front of her. “But there is a
flight coming in tomorrow afternoon.”

“Okay,” he said. “Thanks.”

Since it seemed no one was going to give him
any answers beyond that, he saw no reason to stay.

Still feeling worried that it was possible
something had happened to her, he walked out into the night air and
made his way to his car, alone.

He checked his phone one last time before
getting in his car, there were still no messages; he dialed her
number and waited.

The phone rang a few times before a recorded
version of Ethne answered; he wished more than anything that it had
been her.

He left her a short message still hoping
somehow maybe there had just been a mix up, something deep down in
his gut kept gnawing at the possibility that there hadn’t been.

After sitting in silence, he started his car
and drove home.

Driving home alone in silence had been the
last thing he’d expected; after their last conversation he was
almost sure she would have been sitting next to him in the car
right now.

But she wasn’t. The car was empty.

As he made his way home, the lights on the
highway reflected off the road and blurred in his dazed vision. It
was one of those drives that you can barely recall once you’ve made
it to your destination.

He pulled into his driveway almost loathing
the look of his own house and made his way inside. He hadn’t
planned on coming back here tonight, he thought he would have been
spending it with Ethne.

Instead he walked into a cold and dark room,
flipped on the light and sat down on his couch. It was late; he
would have still been at work right now, but he had taken the night
off to pick her up. Another missed work day…for nothing.

A year ago nothing could have kept him from
his job; it was all he thought about. His own past had made it a
priority for him, keeping him from the messiness of people. In a
way he was a lot like Ethne, though he would never admit it to
her.

In his early 20’s he had fallen in love, but
life had other plans and that love had been taken away from him. It
was never a story he shared with anyone, it wasn’t something he
cared to recollect.

Finding a rhythm in his work had been the
only thing that had kept him sane at the time and until Ethne had
literally crashed into him, or rather he into her, he had
absolutely no interest in ever going down that path again.

Now he was beginning to wonder if he had
made a huge mistake. His focus was gone, he was angry, hurt and
confused, and the worst part was he had caused this problem
himself.

He didn’t want to be a hypocrite though,
everything he had told Ethne had been true. Even if he hadn’t been
living that way himself, he did actually believe it, he just
assumed that choosing work was still choosing life, didn’t see the
need for romance.

Ethne on the other hand had barely been
choosing anything. He could tell her work gave her no real reward,
his at least did, but that was still a pretty lame excuse.

The last year with Ethne had been the single
best year of his life since his life had been so drastically
changed nearly ten years before –
that couldn’t have been a
mistake
, he thought, looking around at his home that now seemed
so foreign.

He hoped she was okay, the worried pit in
his stomach made it awfully hard to think of anything else. It was
3 a.m. and he was exhausted. He glanced at his phone again wishing
it would just fucking ring.

It didn’t.

Still no messages. He threw his phone across
the room letting it get lost in the couch. He was exhausted and his
hands were tied.

With nothing left to do he got up and made
his way into his dark and lonely room and crawled into a bed he
hadn’t slept in for months.

In his dreams he dreamt of the night they
had spent together on the boat. He dreamt of her blue nightgown and
her soft skin, her smile and laugh and the way she had felt lying
in his arms.

When he woke up he half expected her to be
there, lying with him in his bed. It had felt so real that when he
realized it had only been a dream, he looked around the room
stunned at the reality and felt the worry return immediately.

He rolled over and checked the time, it was
nearly noon. The other flight that was set to come in would be
landing soon. After last night though, he couldn’t bring himself to
return to the airport. Instead he needed to get to her house and
retrieve the box he had left there before she had a chance to see
it.

Quickly throwing on a change of clothes he
rushed out the door, he wanted to pick up the box before she got
home…if she was coming home; he was kicking himself for having
forgotten that it was there.

After all of the things that had happened he
was no longer sure he should give it to her.

On the way to her house the traffic was
gridlocked. He could have run there faster than he was moving and
his panic was growing by the minute, he checked his watch and
wondered if he should do just that. He couldn’t let her open the
box, not now.

W
hen Ethne stepped
off the plane the tears had finally dried. They had certainly had
plenty of time to; the twelve hour wait in Dallas had been sheer
torture. Had she known at the time it would have gone like that she
never would have voluntarily switched flights.

At the time though she thought the extra
time alone to think would have been a good thing. But it turned out
to be the opposite.

She had felt torn between two worlds there,
half of her wanting to return to Miami, the other half just wanting
to go home.