The Lies Uncovered Trilogy (Books 4, 5, and 6 of The Dancing Moon Ranch Series) (25 page)

"Yes, son," Adam said. "You can pet the cat."

When Jesse did, the cat started purring.

Adam took Jesse's hand and placed it on the cat's side, and when Jesse felt the rumbles, he looked at Adam in curiosity. "The cat is happy," Adam said. When Jesse's brows gathered and he stared at Adam with round, baffled eyes, Adam realized Jesse had no idea what happy meant because, until now, it had not been a part of his growing vocabulary.

Turning Jesse around, so he was resting in the curve of his arm, Adam smiled a sincere, heartfelt smile at a little boy who was bringing him more joy than he could express, then pointed to his lips and said, "Happy. Daddy's happy because Daddy loves Jesse." He kissed Jesse on the forehead, and repeated, "Daddy loves Jesse."

Jesse reached out and touched Adam's mouth, and when Adam smiled again, because he couldn't help it, Jesse said, "Happy. Daddy happy."

And damn if Adam's eyes didn't brighten with tears.

When he looked at Maureen, she said, "That feeling will be with you until the day you die."

It wasn't until then that Adam realized the enormity of what it meant, and the extent of the responsibility that now rested on his shoulders. The combination was a very sobering thought. But it also brought clarity to things.

Looking at Maureen, he said, "I don't know how things are going to work out with Emily's ex-husband, but if she and Jesse are in danger and need to get away, I'll take you up on that offer, maybe start a ranch in Mexico where you and the rest of the family could visit."

Maureen reached out and touched Adam's face, and said, "Your grandfather would have been proud of the man you've become, and for doing what you have to do."

Adam had a pretty fair idea then what the future would bring.

***

When Emily and Adam stepped into Adam's parent's house, Emily felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her. The chatter and laughter of moments before died, and all eyes were on her. When her feet failed to move, Adam nudged her in the back and announced to everyone staring at them, "Sorry we're late. You all remember Emily."

Emily saw a failed attempt at smiles from Adam's siblings, including Maddy. Jack stood and said nothing, and Grace, who was in the kitchen, wiped her hands on her apron and came over to where they were standing, and said to Emily, "I'm glad you could come."

Although Emily wanted to believe it was true, she knew, without doubt, that there was not a soul in the room who wanted her in Adam's life. She could feel it, and she could see it on their faces. Still, she had no choice but to go along with the charade.

Forcing a smile that was as insincere as it was feigned, she said, "Thank you for inviting me. It will give you a chance to get to know Jesse."

"I'd like that," Grace said. But when she reached out to take Jesse from Adam arms, Jesse turned away from her and buried his face against Adam's neck.

"He's a little shy," Adam said to his mother. "I'm sure you understand why."

Grace's eyes immediately shifted to Emily, and the unintended accusation could not have been clearer. Then catching herself, Grace said to Emily, "Well, he's among family now, but maybe he needs a little time, and I'd better go see to dinner."

After Grace returned to the kitchen, and Jack trailed after her to help, Adam set Jesse down on the floor. Jesse leaned heavily against him and stuck his knuckle in his mouth and scanned the faces of Adam's siblings, who were studying him as if he were an oddity. Which he was to them, Emily realized. A lovechild created by the two people standing with him. Not exactly a shining example of the way Grace and Jack Hansen had raised their children.

"These are all your uncles," Adam said to Jesse, then glancing at Maddy, he added, "And your aunt."

When Adam's siblings continued to stare, Adam said, "Maddy, honey, why don't you get one of your stuffed animals for Jesse to hold."

Maddy immediately scampered off, and a few moments later, returned with a stuffed pig. Crouching in front of Jesse, she said, in a soft sweet voice, "Do you want to hold Miss Piggy?"

Jesse looked up at Adam and waited. "It's okay," Adam said.

Jesse looked at the pig but refused to take it, wrapping his arm around Adam's leg instead. Then he pressed the side of his face to Adam's thigh and stood observing the faces that continued to look steadily back at him. Aware of Jesse's apprehension, Adam picked him up, and holding him in the crook of his arm, said to his siblings, "You guys are kind of overwhelming Jesse. Go back to what you were doing."

When the chatter started again, Emily saw Jesse looking at the Christmas tree and realized he'd been so intimidated by the faces staring at him, he'd only just noticed it.

Pointing, Jesse said to Adam, "Daddy go see tree."

"He just said a four-word sentence to you," Emily said to Adam. "That's the first time he's done that."

Adam grinned. "Then we'd better go look at the tree."

Taking Emily by the arm, he maneuvered her toward a Christmas tree that stood in the corner of the room, and which was trimmed with decorated cookies wrapped in plastic, and candy canes, and homemade ornaments from years past. But while they were standing at the tree, he said to Emily, "I'm sorry, honey, maybe this wasn't a good idea."

"It's okay," Emily replied. "I've been in a lot worse situations than this."

"It'll get better when Jayne and Sam arrive," Adam assured her, "and by the time Rick and Sophie come with the triplets, we'll be lost in the crowd."

But they weren't lost in the crowd. When Rick and Sophie arrived with three babies—Rick holding two, and Sophie holding one—Grace fluttered around them, making a fuss over them as they were placed in playpens that appeared to be permanent furniture in the living room. But it had also been time to eat, so other than a brief acknowledgment of each other, Emily and Sophie hadn’t spoken. And all through dinner, even though the conversations shifted between the usual sibling joking and teasing, eyes kept returning to Emily.

The one bright spot at dinner had been that Jack pulled up a highchair to the table for Jesse to join them, and after they were all seated, when Grace glanced around the table, she had a pleased look on her face, like maybe things weren't so bad. She also looked at Jesse with affection. Emily knew Adam saw it too, because when Grace came around the table to fasten a bib around Jesse's neck, she touched Jesse's face, and stroked his hair, then looked at Jack at the end of the table and smiled, as if life was good again.

Emily was also aware of Sophie looking at her frequently and making comments to Rick, who would glance her way and smile, if she caught him looking.

"We'll talk to them after dinner," Adam said. "It'll break the ice."

"Then you too are aware of them talking about us?" Emily asked.

"I know they're talking, but I don't think it's all bad," Adam replied.

"No," Emily said. "They're just deliberating over why you'd be such an idiot as to get involved with the women who left you at the altar."

"Let's not get into that," Adam said. "What's done is done."

Emily was immediately sorry for her cynical remark. She'd always liked Rick and Sophie, and her comment was unwarranted, even if it was accurate. But it also fed into the rift between Adam and Rick, and ADam was right. After dinner, they needed to talk to them.

But after they left the table, Rick and Sophie walked over to where Emily sat on the couch beside Adam, with Jesse sitting on Adam's lap, and said to Emily, "So, this is Jesse." She bent down and said, "Hi Jesse. I'm your Aunt Sophie." Jesse immediately turned from her and buried his face against Adam's chest. "I guess I scared him," Sophie said. "He's probably still upset because of what you went through. We heard about what happened."

When Emily said nothing, because she didn't want to talk about any of it, Rick put his arm around Sophie and pulled her against him, and said, "Jesse's a fine little guy. When the triplets are up and running he'll have fun with them."

Emily realized she was also pressed up against Adam, and hadn't been aware she'd moved so close to him. Her eyes shifting between Rick and Sophie, she said to Rick, "I'm sure he will. He's not used to so many people at once."

Adam patted Emily's knee, and leaving his hand there, he said to her, "Honey, we'd better get going. We still have to pack for tomorrow and I want to leave early." His endearment drew surprised looks from Rick and Sophie. Emily could almost hear the conversation that would follow after they left.

Is Adam out of his mind? Why would he get back with her after what she did? Poor Adam, she's been reeling him in and out for years
, and on, and on.

It was an awkward moment at best, but she liked the feel of Adam's hand on her knee. A little affectionate gesture. More than a gesture. Adam was staking his claim again.
Emily and I are back together,
were Adam's unspoken words to Rick and Sophie. Maybe part jealousy, Adam letting them know his life was coming together.

After Emily thanked Grace and Jack for dinner, she made her way across a room filled with Hansen boys, and a Hansen girl, and Jayne and Sam, and Sophie and Rick, to where Maureen was sitting in a chair by the fireplace, and said to her, in a voice not intended for the rest, "Mrs. Hansen, I know this is awkward, but I want to thank you for all you did for Adam and my wedding. I know you paid for the invitations and the cake and flowers, and I should have thanked you long ago. I have no excuse for not doing so."

To Emily's surprise, Maureen extended her hand, and after Emily took it, Maureen said, "I hope you realize what you have. A man like Adam comes along once in a lifetime. I know because I was married to a man very much like him."

Emily gave Maureen a faltering smile. "I do know, and I won't let him down this time."

"No," Maureen said, "I don't believe you will. And if you put your son's needs first, and Adam's needs second, you'll never have to worry about your own needs because they'll always be met. That's the way a man like Adam works, even if he doesn't know it. And that's a little bit of wisdom from a woman who does."

"Thank you," Emily said. Giving Maureen's hand a little squeeze, Emily turned and joined Adam, who was standing at the front door with Jesse in his arms.

Once outside, Emily said to Adam, "I love your grandmother, and I'm feeling a little better about your mother, and Jayne and Sam are okay, but please don't ask me to be with them for Christmas. I just want to spend it with you and Jesse at the cabin, at least for a little while in the morning. But then you'll need to be with your family for Christmas dinner."

"I know," Adam said. "Maybe someday it won't be awkward."

Emily thought about that and wondered if she dared hope. Then looking at Adam, she said, "For whatever it's worth, if I could turn back the time to July 31st three years ago, Sophie and Rick would not have another chance to steal our wedding, you and Rick would still be close, and you would not have missed the first two years of Jesse's life. I messed up a lot of lives."

Adam adjusted Jesse so he was sitting in the crook of his arm, then curved his other arm around Emily, and replied, "You did that all right. I just haven't figured out how to fix it."

Emily was tempted to tell him she could think of one way to get things started, but knew it would take more than lovemaking to fix things now. But the day after Christmas she'd have to come clean with Adam. She'd put it off long enough.

CHAPTER 9

The following day they returned to the cabin on two horses. Adam lead the way, with Jesse in the saddle in front of him, and a rolled tarp filled with supplies he hoped they'd never have to use slung over his horse's rump. Emily rode on a horse behind, with another rolled tarp, that one filled with the new clothes he'd bought for Emily and Jesse, along with the Santa toys.

For Adam, Christmas Eve brought to him a whole new perspective. In a week and a half the little person in front of him had burrowed into his heart, and now he'd give his life for him, just as he would for Emily. It was strange, placing less value on his life than on the lives of two other human beings. Strange, but satisfying.

This time he left the dogs behind, assuming the lion had moved on. He'd seen no signs of it, and even the buzzards had left, presumably to track the lion in search of another carcass to pick.

He glanced up at a gray sky heavy with snow on the verge of falling then turned in the saddle to see how Emily was doing. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," Emily replied.

"I think Jesse's enjoying the ride," Adam said. "He's quiet, but he's looking around."

"He never got out much before," Emily replied. "This is good for him."

Adam thought about that too. What kind of inhuman monster could threaten a woman and child the way Erik had? He'd sized up the bastard in high school as a self-centered SOB, but never could he have imagined the extent of it. The one thing he vowed he'd do during the next few days would be to show Emily again how to handle the shotgun and insist she keep it close at hand when inside the cabin, and with her when she was outside, even if it was only to go to the outhouse. It wasn't the lion he was worried about now. With everyone at the ranch knowing of Emily's whereabouts, and the town of Sheridan small enough that news circulated fast, word could have easily gotten back to Erik. But with the exception of a couple of hours for Christmas dinner at the ranch the next day, he had no intention of leaving Emily and Jesse alone, and that was the way it would be until he moved them to a place where they'd be safe. Even leaving them alone for the few hours on Christmas worried him, but he wouldn't put pressure on Emily to go. She'd had her fill of a man running her life.

By the time they arrived at the cabin, a light snow had started to fall. Adam hoisted the tarps off the horses and set them on the porch, then went to tend to the horses. And Emily took Jesse and went inside. The cabin was cold after two days without heat, so Emily left Jesse bundled up in his coat while she started a fire in the fireplace. She was getting adept at doing it now, and she quickly scrunched up papers and added several sticks of kindling and a couple of logs, then striking a match to it, knew the small cabin would be toasty warm before long.

When Adam returned to the cabin after tending the horses, a fire crackled on the hearth, the chill was off the room, the table was set, the dinner menu planned, and Jesse was on the couch surrounded by books and stuffed animals, and holding the carved wooden frog.

"The snow's coming down a little harder now, which is good," Adam said. "It'll cover our tracks." He set the rolled tarps just inside the front door, then shrugged out of his parka and hung it on a wooden peg. For a few moments he remained standing where he was while watching Jesse from a distance, a glimmer of amusement in his eyes, a smile of affection on his lips.

As Emily looked at a face she'd tried over the years to hold in memory, it was all she could do to keep from rushing over to Adam and throwing her arms around him and letting him take it from there, wherever it would lead, which she'd hope would be to bed…

She'd barely finished that thought when Adam walked up to her, and said, "It's my first Christmas with Jesse. I want us to cut a tree and bring it in and decorate it. Mom packed a box of decorated Christmas cookies and candy canes, and she also included a little gingerbread house for Jesse. She wants it to come from Santa and be under the tree tomorrow morning."

"Then she's okay with us staying here together?" Emily said.

Adam shrugged. "Let's just say she's becoming resigned to it. I also think Jesse’s helping make Christmas a little better for her, maybe because she'll have six boys at the table again."

"Then you and Jesse will live there, if I have to… well, you know."

"What you're trying to say isn't going to happen," Adam said. "But my mother will want to babysit whenever she can, and Maddy too. Jesse will know what it's like to be loved."

Tears filled Emily's eyes. She swiped them away, and said, "I'm not crying, I'm just happy."

Adam slipped his arms around her. "Then we'll make this Christmas special."

"It already is," Emily said. "Jesse still doesn't know about Christmas though. He saw the tree at your folk's house and stared at it some, but he has no idea what it's all about. He was too young last year to understand, so this really will be his first Christmas."

"And it's my first year being Santa." Adam pulled Emily to him and kissed her soundly, and said, "Honey, we'd better get the tree before things heat up right here in the living room."

Emily didn't reply. She was still reeling from the kiss, and the endearment, and the implication of what would take place later. Adam might have bought her a beautiful sweater for Christmas, but the gift she wanted most would cost him nothing, and she intended to start collecting as soon as Santa was finished arranging toys under the tree...

"Em?" Emily looked at Adam with a start. "You're smiling," Adam said. "What's going through your mind?'

Emily placed her hands on Adam's waist, and with her thumbs resting where his jeans stretched tight across the front, she said, "I was thinking about the gift I want from Santa tonight. I'm anxious to unwrap it, and we'd better go get the tree before I start doing just that."

***

Emily's words, and the path of her thumbs as she said them, had so taken Adam by surprise he was ready to give up the idea of cutting a tree and instead, put Jesse down for a nap and give Emily the gift she wanted. But Emily was already bundling Jesse in his coat and mittens, so it would have to wait.

"There you go, honey," Emily said, as she pulled the hood of Jesse's new jacket up over his head. Adam wanted Jesse to have a jacket with fake fur around his face to hold in the warmth of his breath in the event they had to leave during another snow storm. Oregon didn't usually have so much snow, but this winter had been plagued with record snowfalls, and predictions were for yet more snow. At least the old well was covered with bracings and plywood, even though it was also covered with snow. He'd taken a lot of time after the incident to make sure it was safe.

Emily shoved her arms into her own parka then nudged Jesse outside.

Although it had only just started to snow again, there was a crust on the ground from the last snow, and each time Jesse took a step, his foot broke through the crust and he found himself knee-deep in snow, so when Adam lifted him up and put him on his shoulders, Jesse didn't object. Tipping his head up, Adam said to him, "Are you okay, son?"

Jesse patted Adam on the head with both hands, and said, "Daddy okay."

Adam tightened his hands around Jesse's legs and wondered if he could ever love a son more. It also gave him a little insight into what his mother was going through. She'd raised seven children, and even though he'd made a cutting remark to Marc just before he left home that whenever he sneezed their mother was there to wipe his nose, it wasn't so. She'd been there for all of her children because they, along with their dad, were her whole life. She'd showered them with love, and shielded them from pain. Even her failed effort to raise him and Marc as fraternal twins was because she wanted Marc to feel as loved as the others, even if he wasn't a Hansen by blood. But maybe Jesse would help fill the void left by Marc.

Trudging through the snow, Adam took them to a grove of small cedars that had sprung up from cones dropped by a giant cedar, and set Jesse on the ground to pick out a tree. Adam didn't care which. This was Jesse's Christmas, and if he wanted an old dead limb to decorate that was fine with him. But instead of choosing from the shoulder high trees they were standing among, Jesse toddled off from under the cedar to where a spindly fir stood by itself, about ten feet away. The thing had a twisted trunk and asymmetrical branches with sparse needles, but when Jesse put his mittened hand on it and looked at Adam and said, "My tree," Adam promptly sawed it down.

By the time they returned to the cabin, with Jesse perched on Adam's shoulders, and Emily dragging the spindly tree behind in one hand, and holding a fistful of greenery for a table decoration in the other, the snow was falling steadily.

As they walked, Adam felt Jesse raise his arms, and when he looked up to where Jesse sat on his shoulders, he saw him opening his mouth to catch the snowflakes. He caught Emily's eye and saw her smile and decided, while they were at the cabin, he'd see that smile again often. He also intended to see a different kind of smile after Jesse was asleep, when he'd give her the gift she hadn't been shy about asking for, because like he told her earlier, he was a fool. A love-smitten fool. He'd been one ever since the day Emily smiled at him during play practice after school, and through all the garbage with Erik, just seeing her smile, meant she was happy, for a little while.

"Daddy, tree," Jesse said, as Emily dragged the tree up the steps.

"Yeah, I'd better help Mommy with it," Adam replied, as he lifted Jesse off his shoulders. Then he realized it was the first time he'd referred to Emily as Mommy. It seemed right, the two of them being Jesse's Mommy and Daddy.

"I liked the sound of that, " Emily said. "Erik never referred to me as Mommy when he talked to Jesse. It was always your mother, like it was something not so good."

"Honey, let's keep Erik out of this cabin, and our family," Adam said.

"I like that idea. And now, we have the challenge of decorating a tree with four branches."

"Twelve," Adam corrected, with a chuckle, then took the tree from her and carried it into the cabin. After placing a bucket in the corner of the cabin, he set the tree in the middle then wedged in several large rocks he'd found under the porch steps, to stabilized the tree. He secured it with twine, which he looped around the trunk at the top and tied to a nail in the log wall. That done, he turned to Jesse, and said, "You ready to decorate the tree?"

Jesse gazed at the tree, eyes wide with wonder, then looked up at Adam, and said, "Do tree." Grabbing a fistful of candy canes, he stood in front of the tree, a puzzled frown on his brow while trying to figure out what to do next. Adam took a candy cane, and crouching beside Jesse, showed him how to hang in on a low limb.

A half hour later, after picking Jesse up so he could reach high in the tree to hang the last of four gingerbread men, the tree glittered with red and white candy canes that hung askew, and randomly placed plastic-wrapped cookies in the shapes of Santas and stars and bells, which hung at lopsided angles. The last ornament to be hung was a cookie star, and Adam lifted Jesse up high so he could put it on top of the tree. When they were finished, they stood back admiring the tree, Adam holding Jesse in the crook of one arm, and Emily in the curve of the other.

While toying with a Santa cookie, Emily said to Adam, "I'll get
The Night Before Christmas
book we bought and you can sit on the couch with Jesse and read to him and tell him about Santa, while I fix dinner."  

Emily returned with the book, and while Adam sat on the couch with Jesse in his lap, reading about flying reindeer and sugarplums, Emily fixed a meal of canned yams, canned Boston Baked beans, canned tamales and crackers.

Later that evening, while Adam helped Jesse bathe in the tin tub, Emily went into the bedroom to search through the packages for Jesse's new pajamas, and when she returned to the living room she found Adam crouched on his knees, dragging the wash cloth over Jesse's back as Jesse scooted the yellow duck over the surface of the water. But an instant later, Jesse released the duck and flattened his palms against the water, sending droplets splashing against Adam's face. "Whoa there, buddy," Adam said. But his eyes were bright, and his face held a smile of amusement, and all Emily wanted to do was to stand where she was and watch.

Adam, catching sight of her, said to Jesse, "I think Mommy's ready to put you in your new PJs. You ready to get out?"

Jesse stood, sending a rush of water cascading down his little body, and said, "Daddy do."

Adam looked at Emily, who held out the pajamas, and said, "Daddy, you're doing fine. So while you're drying your little clone I'll fix a pad on the floor for him. I found a stack of blankets in the closet and some flannel sheets. It'll make a nice bed."

Emily used the excuse that it was Christmas Eve to put Jesse to bed a little earlier than usual. But with the short winter days, it had already been dark for a couple of hours and the cabin glowed softly from the light of several lanterns, so Jesse made no fuss when Emily laid him on the pad and tucked him in. But after she'd kissed him goodnight and started to go, Jesse raised his arms, and said, "Daddy kiss."

"Okay, sweetheart, I'll get Daddy," Emily said. But when she turned to get Adam, she found him standing in the doorway, a look on his face she could only describe as pure love.