The Land of the Shadow (38 page)

Justin nodded. He glanced over at Carly, and she inclined her head. And so Justin told him in his simple, straightforward fashion.

After Justin finished speaking, Kaden let out a long, slow breath. He gripped his knees, his knuckles white. “Okay . . . okay. You wouldn’t be doing this if you weren’t sure it was going to be okay.” His words were a statement, but his eyes were a plea for reassurance.

“The odds are good,” Justin said.

“Odds?” Kaden stared at him. “
Odds
? I want to know you’re going to be—that you’re going to be coming back.”

“I can’t promise, Kaden.” Justin’s voice was low. “As I said, our odds are good and—”

“I can’t take this.” Kaden surged out of his seat and paced in front of the coffee table. Dagny stopped stacking her blocks to stare at him. Kaden let out a strangled sound and threw his hands into the air. “The world isn’t supposed to
be
like this! Parents are supposed to get
old
and be grandparents someday. Kids aren’t supposed to have worry constantly about everyone they love
dying
.”

Justin’s voice was low. “Kaden, listen to me. I can’t promise Carly and I won’t die. No one can promise that. The world just isn’t like that anymore. Is it wrong? Is it goddamned unfair? Yes. But that’s the way it is. It’s the world we have, and the world we have to live in. We can’t change that.”

Kaden shook his head and walked over to the window, staring out between the curtains at the dark front yard.

Justin looked over at Carly, as if offering her a chance to take over if she felt it necessary, but she just gave a small shake of her head. Justin rubbed the back of his own neck before he continued. “What I can promise you is that I’m going to do everything in my power to keep this family safe. This plan is part of that. You’re right—I wouldn’t go, wouldn’t let
Carly
go if I didn’t think we had the odds on our side.”

Justin stood and went to put his hands on Kaden’s shoulders. “I speak in terms of odds because that’s the way I was trained. You have to accept there’s a statistical chance you won’t make it out alive. You have to look at that number and accept it. You accept that number and do what you have do. We live with those numbers every day.”

Kaden’s voice didn’t sound like his own. “I can’t lose you two. You’re all I’ve got.”

“That’s not true.” Carly took Kaden by the shoulders and turned him around to face her. “You have this whole community of people who care about you. You have Dagny, who adores you as a big brother, and if the worst happened, she would need you to take care of her. I don’t think the worst is going to happen, but Kaden, if it did . . . loss happens in life. You can’t avoid that. But love happens, too. That’s why we have a community, so we can support each other through the worst of times. Love is what keeps us going when we don’t think we have anything else left. Love and hope are the real keys to our survival.”

Kaden shook his head, and Carly knew what he was thinking. He didn’t want a community. He wanted a family.

Carly couldn’t stand to see him standing there, so bereft. She pulled him into her arms. Kaden trembled for a moment and wrapped his arms around her so hard it hurt, and from the hitch in his breath, she knew he was struggling not to cry.

Carly looked up over his shoulder toward Justin, hoping not to see that blank expression he assumed when he was struggling to hide his emotions from her. He didn’t have that look. Instead, he put his arms around the two of them, holding Kaden and Carly both. Carly took away one of her arms to wrap around Justin’s waist. A small laugh escaped her as Dagny crawled over and wrapped her arms around Carly’s leg. Justin laughed, too, and picked her up to join in the embrace of a family.

How long they stood there, Carly did not know, but all of their heads jerked toward the door when there was a knock. Justin handed Dagny to Carly and went to answer it as Kaden furtively wiped his eyes.

It was Stacy. Veronica stood beside her, her lips trembling as she struggled not to cry. She had a bundled towel in her arms.

“She died on the table,” Stacy said, by way of greeting. “I’m so sorry. I tried. I just couldn’t—”

Carly pulled her into a hug. “I know you did. You did everything you could.”

Stacy shuddered. “What if this means—”

“Stop.” Carly held up a hand. “Stacy, you told me yourself what bad shape she was in. It doesn’t mean
anything
.” She heard a small squeak from the bundle Veronica held, and she moved aside the towel to spot a tiny, wrinkled face.

“There were two pups. Only one made it.” Stacy teared up again.

Carly gave her shoulder a little shake. “None of them would have made it without you. So, let’s celebrate this life that was saved, okay?”

Stacy nodded but didn’t seem like she’d been reassured.

Veronica swiped her nose with her sleeve as she handed the bundle to Carly. “It’s a girl.”

The pup looked like a brown and white balloon with stumpy legs, laying on her back with her round little belly protruding up. Her mouth was open and she made adorable little squeaks as she sought her mother. Carly stroked her face with her finger, and the pup promptly latched on, sucking on her knuckle. “She’s hungry.”

“I know, but we don’t have anything. I sent Veronica to ask around, but no one has any canned milk. I suppose we could try broth . . .”

Justin spoke up. “Yes we do. Shadowfax is still nursing Storm.”

Kaden gaped at him. “You’re gonna . . . milk a
horse
?”

“Yes. Get a bowl and follow me.”

Kaden obeyed and they headed out to the barn. Carly almost wished she could follow just to see what Shadowfax did when she discovered what Justin wanted, but she sat down on the couch with the pup in her lap, pulling back the towel to examine it. Its little limbs waved in the air.

“The book said you need to palpate their bellies and move them around to get their bodies going,” Stacy said. “The author assumed the mom would be recovering from surgery, so it gave instructions for caring for them the way the mother would.”

Veronica picked up the pup and plopped her on her belly, nudging and bumping her with the side of her hand. “It looks kind of rough, but this is the way the mother dog would be doing it.”

The puppy let out a high-pitched grunt of protest, and even the red-eyed Stacy had to smile at how cute the sound was.

Sam had been lying over by the door, but when he heard the sounds the pup made, his head tilted. He rose to his feet and lowered his head as he crept forward. The puppy squeaked again, and he froze. Carly saw the hair on the back of his neck rise.

Stacy glanced back and forth from Sam to Carly. “Uh, maybe you should . . . Carly, he looks a little upset. That bulldog was the first canine he’s ever seen, probably that he remembers, anyway. You don’t know how he’s going to react to the puppy.”

Carly looked down at the helpless little creature in her lap, smaller than Sam’s snout. Sam gave a soft whine and shuffled on his feet.

“It’s okay,” Carly said. “I think he’s just a little confused. That sound probably triggers something in his instincts, but he’s not sure what it means. Come here, Sam.”

Carly reached out and laid a hand on Sam’s shoulder. He came closer and sniffed at the little wriggling creature on Carly’s lap. He went still for a moment, his eyes going wide. They all held their breath.

Sam wagged his tail. Once. Twice. His ears perked up, and he tossed out his front legs, crouching down in a brief play-bow. He huffed out a breath and gave a little pounce in the puppy’s direction.

Carly felt tears sting her eyes as she watched Sam toss his head. He poked his nose down and bumped the pup with it. This was the playful Sam she’d thought was gone for good.

“She can’t play yet, Sam,” Carly told him and ruffled Sam’s ears. Sam looked up at her with bright eyes and then back to the pup. His head turned as Justin opened the front door, and he bounded over, then back toward the sofa as if trying to tell Justin he had to show him something.

Justin grinned down at him. “Introductions went okay, then?”

Carly’s voice sounded a little rough coming from her tight throat. “Yeah.”

Justin Stacy laughed. “So, Shadowfax actually let you do it?”

Kaden shook his head. “I thought for sure she’d kick him, but I held her halter and she just stood there for him. I’ve seen some crazy things, but sheesh . . .”

“Do you have an eyedropper in your kit?” Justin set the bowl down on the table.

“Yeah.” Stacy nodded toward it, and Justin began to rummage around inside until he found it. He filled the eyedropper and handed it to Carly. She squeezed out a couple of drops and the pup latched on to it with surprising strength.

“She likes it!” Veronica said, delighted.

“We need to feed her every hour,” Stacy said, eying the bowl. “What are we going to do—”

“I’ll get you milk every day,” Justin said. “But we need to get her drinking broth and eating soft food as soon as possible.”

“But every hour . . .” With what they were planning with Marcus, there was no way Carly could take care of the puppy.

“I’ll do it!” Veronica said. “I can take care of her.”

Stacy looked reluctant. “Veronica, there’s a lot more to it than just feeding her.”

“I can do it.” Veronica nodded. “I can. You’ll see.”

Justin glanced over at Carly. “Veronica, this is very important to Carly. If you find that you can’t do it, you need to tell us right away.”

“I will, I promise.” Veronica rubbed the top of the puppy’s head with her thumb. “It’s very important, I know. She may be the only girl dog in the whole world.”

“Do you have a name for her?” Justin asked.

Carly shook her head.

“How about Buttercup, like from that princess movie?” Veronica asked. “It was my favorite.”

Carly smiled. “Buttercup it is. Are you sure . . .” She paused for a moment. “Are you
sure
you can take care of her until . . . until we get back?”

Veronica’s eyes were sparkling. “I’m sure. Michael can help me. He’s getting better.”

Carly tried not to look worried. “Just . . . be careful, okay?”

“I will. I won’t let anyone hurt Buttercup. She’s important. She has to grow up so she and Sam can have puppies. We’re like Noah’s Ark.”

It was the way that her eyes sparkled with excitement and hope for the future that convinced Carly.

Chapter Fourteen

“This is Helm’s Deep,” Carly said.

They all stood in the factory, dim and silent. What machinery could be moved was now blocking most of the windows. Supplies were stacked in the protected rooms on the lower floors. Barrels of already-purified water, cans and jars of food. It represented most of Colby’s stores and would be food enough to last the few who would take refuge here a long while, but the purpose was to protect it from any potential intrusion. Justin had ordered everyone to bring their extra supplies to be stored here. He knew some people wouldn’t bring everything they had—it was simple human nature to protect one’s own assets—but they had the bulk of it here.

“This is our final stand.”

It was where they had played their war games, and now it would function as their fortress, the place where the noncombatants would take refuge if Colby was attacked. This was where the town’s few children, including Dagny, would be brought for safety. And if the Wall fell, this building could be defended better than any other in the town. Mrs. Davis stood with the children, all of them gathered close around her, as if seeking protection from the unknown danger that made the adults so tense of late.

Veronica gazed at one of the sniper stands on the upper floor, with a speculative gleam in her eye. Though Carly wasn’t happy about it, she understood why Justin had assigned Veronica as one of the Last Stand defenders. They would need every pair of willing hands if it came down to that. Carly prayed it wouldn’t, but knew Justin was wise in preparing. Just in case.

Justin put his arm around Carly’s waist. “It isn’t a coincidence I chose this building for us to use for practice runs. Out of every building in Colby, it’s the most defensible. Restricted entry points, high windows, fire-resistant exterior made of cinderblock and brick, and a metal roof.” He tilted back his head to stare up at the ceiling, shrouded in shadow. “They can’t even burn you out.”