The Land of the Shadow (35 page)

If only she could get him to talk about it, but Justin had a tendency to shut down and distance himself rather than address his turmoil head on. She reminded herself to be patient. He would talk when he was ready.

Justin came up behind her. She spotted him in the mirror and smiled as he slipped his arms around her waist. “I’m home,” he said unnecessarily.

He lowered his head and pressed a soft kiss to the skin where her neck joined with her shoulder, unhidden by the soft folds of her robe. One of his hands tugged at the belt, and he slipped the robe off her shoulder, his lips following the strap of her nightgown down over the back of her shoulder as his fingers skimmed along the skin of her arm.

Carly shivered, but not from cold. Her robe slipped from her shoulders and fell to pool at her feet. Her nightgown followed.

Justin knelt behind her, and a little gasp escaped her as he nipped her hipbone. How did this man manage to turn every inch of her skin into an erogenous zone? He turned her around and kissed down along the side of her belly. Carly lifted a hand to cover her stretch marks. Standing here before him, bare like this, exposed, they bothered her.

Justin gently tugged away her hand. “A warrior should be proud of her scars,” he said.

He kissed each one, his lips tracing their length. Her breathing grew shorter, and she gave little strangled cry when his tongue touched her belly button. He raised his eyes to her, those coal black eyes, hot obsidian, burning dark. She felt their impact like an erotic caress.

His lips trailed lower. Lower. Carly’s head fell back and she gave a small groan. She tangled her fingers in his hair. After two years as lovers, he knew her body’s reactions, knew how to play it like an instrument and make it sing, but somehow he always managed to surprise her with the power of her response. Her legs trembled as the pleasure ripped through her, leaving her weak and gasping in its wake.

Justin scooped her up into his arms and carried her to the bed. She drew him down with her amid the pillows and helped him tug off his clothing, his lips never leaving hers. Flesh to flesh, his smooth skin sliding against hers. Her fingers brushed the scar on his chest, where the arrow had caught him. He was scarred, too, but perfect nonetheless. He reached over to the box in the drawer beside the bed, and he fumbled with the foil packet, cursing when he dropped it.

Those seeds
, she thought. The ones Miz Marson had given her. Justin had never once complained about having to use condoms because Carly could not take the pill, but surely it would be more pleasurable for him if he didn’t have to.

And what if the seeds didn’t work? Would it be so bad to have another child? She pictured a little boy with his eyes and a pang of longing went through her, but the responsible Carly reasserted herself. Yes, it would be bad to bring another child into their community when they were struggling as it was. But still . . .

Then Justin’s weight settled over her, and there was no more room for rational thought.

Justin startled awake when he heard Dagny’s pre-cry whimper. He rubbed a hand over his face before he sat up, searching the floor for his boxers and T-shirt. He shuffled into Dagny’s little room, yawning.

She stood at the side of her crib, gripping the rail. When she saw him, Dagny grinned, revealing her small number of teeth. She thrust up her arms in a silent demand to be lifted, and he complied. He checked her diaper and found it dry.

Usually, he’d sit down in the rocking chair with her and see if she drifted back off to sleep, but tonight he felt too restless. He carried her up the basement stairs, his steps silent on the treads. He waited until he’d opened the front door before he spoke. “Feel like sitting out here with me for a bit, Daggers?”

“Go?” she asked.

“Just out here.” Justin took a seat in the porch swing, and it creaked beneath his weight. “It’s pretty out here at night.” He waited for a few moments and then pointed at a firefly as he tugged her hand away from the swing chain, lest her little fingers get caught. “See?”

“Wite,” Dagny said.

“That’s right! A light.” He kissed her cheek. “Smart little thing, aren’t you? You must get that from your mama.”

“Mama?” Dagny looked around as if expecting to see Carly on the porch.

“Nah, she’s asleep. Well just hang out here for a few minutes, if that’s okay with you.”

Dagny seemed to consider the matter and laid her head on his shoulder, plucking at the collar of his T-shirt.

“I’m glad you’re home,” Justin said. “I really missed you while you were gone. I’m sorry I was so wrapped up in your mom, but I was just so damn afraid—oops. I’m not supposed to cuss around you. Don’t tell your mother.”

He looked out over the darkened yard. “You’ve never lost anyone. And you won’t if I have anything to do with it. It’s one of . . . well, it’s one of the worst things that can happen to you. Even when you’re losing someone because you find out they betrayed you.”

He was silent for a moment. His finger drifted up to touch the place over his heart where the initials of his lost friends were tattooed.

“Da?” Dagny said.

“Yeah.” He gave her a smile and she laid her head back down. “You know, I assumed he was dead, like the rest of them. Especially since he didn’t answer the emergency line. Now, I’m not so sure. I’m starting to picture him sitting there at that desk, seeing the number coming up on the caller ID and smiling that smug fu—that smug little smirk of his. That’s what I can’t figure. If he wanted me to live, why not call me in? What was the point to send me the vaccine if he was just going to let me wander in the wasteland? It doesn’t make any sense. Too many variables, and Lewis never liked to have unaccounted variables in his plans.”

“Wite!” Dagny saw another firefly off to his left.

“Good observational skills.” Justin hugged her, and she grinned at his praise, nuzzling down against his chest after giving a big yawn.

“I’m gonna do for you what Lewis did for me. I’m going to make sure you have all the skills you need to survive. Along with all those social skills and educational stuff your mom is going to teach you, you’re going to be able to rule the world, Daggers. You know that?” Justin looked down at her and saw she had her eyes half-closed as she slurped on her thumb.

Justin shifted her in his arms so she could lie more comfortably. “Maybe it wasn’t Lewis’s plan. Maybe he was just doing what he could within the parameters of his orders. I guess I’ll never know one way or the other, so there’s no point in dwelling on it. That’s what I keep telling myself, anyway. It’d probably be easier if I could just accept Carly’s view of fate playing out the way it was supposed to, no matter how it came about. Maybe she and I were supposed to meet because we needed to have you, so you could rule the world, huh?”

Dagny was sound asleep. Justin stood, careful not to jostle her, and headed back inside.

Once he was out of sight of Colby, Justin let the mare take off. Shadowfax tossed her head, dug her hooves into the earth, and sprang forward, running full-tilt along the side of the highway. The speed was exhilarating, and if Justin had been wearing a hat, he would have yanked it off to shout,
Yee haw!
As it was, his grin stretched his cheeks so hard they hurt as Shadowfax poured on every bit of speed she had. The poor mare didn’t get to run like this very often. Carly was always worried about gopher holes and the like, and so when she rode, it was at a sedate pace. But when Justin took her out, Shadowfax danced from the stall in barely suppressed excitement, knowing he’d let her run until her side heaved and sweat soaked her flanks.

The horse finally slowed far beyond the split in the road that sent travelers in the direction of Colby or Clayton. He let her choose the spot each time they did this, and it was usually farther than the last, farther up the road from both towns. Justin slid out of the saddle and took the sign from the bag. He attached the post before pounding it into the ground. They had already passed the splinters of the last one.

This was the third time he’d put up the sign warning travelers away from Clayton. Kaden had painted each one for him after Justin had awkwardly confessed his problem with transposing letters. Kaden had just nodded. He’d already suspected something, given Justin’s reluctance to write in class. His generation didn’t see any shame in dyslexia, but for Justin, it had always been an embarrassing secret. Having Kaden treat it like a normal trait, like being left-handed, was a surprising relief.

BRIDGES OUT ON RT 121, RATNER RD & CHESTER! the sign read.

Justin didn’t know if they had warned anyone off or not. No travelers had come by Colby, and that was worrisome, since they were used to seeing at least one per week. None had come since Marcus’s crew moved into the area. And someone kept tearing down his signs, though Justin ranged farther afield each time to erect them.

No matter. He would keep putting them up. As Carly would say, if it saved one life, it was worth it.

He patted Shadowfax before he climbed back up into the saddle. “You got it in you for a run back?”

She did.

Chapter Thirteen

Marcus came walking up the center of the road, carrying a large box beneath one arm. In the other, he bore a long stick with a white flag fluttering from the top of it. He didn’t seem to mind the alligators, sauntering through the reptilian gauntlet.

Justin took the binoculars back from Carly. “Are you sure I can’t just shoot him?”

Carly gave him a reproving look.

“Are we gonna let him in?” Kross asked.

“I think we should.” Carly rested a hand on the chain and looked up at Justin. “What do you think?”

“He could have a bomb in that box,” Kross said.

“If so, why carry it out in the open?” Carly shook her head. “He could build a bomb big enough to kill us all and hide it in a backpack. Why show us he has something?”

Justin scratched his chin. “Yeah, not his style, I think.”

Pearl cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted. “What’s in the box?”

“Present for Carly,” Marcus called back.

Carly started in surprise. “How does he know my name?”

Justin put the binoculars back into their case. His eyes narrowed and glittered with a hard light. “Billy probably told him. Whatever is in that box, I don’t think it’s intended to cause harm. I suspect he’s more of a sneak attack kind of guy.”

Pearl shook her head. “I’m not taking any chances.” She leaned down and called to Marcus, “Put it down right there and back away.”