The Land of the Shadow (33 page)

Justin shook his head. “No, Mindy’s right, honey. It’s something more than that. We’ve got good people here committed to good ideals. That makes for a strong community. It could be the start of something much bigger, if people want it.”

Mindy shook her head. “That’s the key, isn’t it? If people want it. How many people did we decide wouldn’t fit here? How many people does Marcus have? I don’t think they want America, or Colby, for that matter. They don’t want to build anything. They want to
take
. It feels like we’ve descended into madness.”

Justin gave her a small smile. “There were always people who just wanted to take, even before the Crisis stripped away our veneer of civilization.”

Carly’s throat was aching again but not because of injury. She blinked her stinging eyes hard. “It wasn’t a veneer. It was something I believed in.”

“You still can.” Justin tucked a strand of her caramel-colored hair behind her ear. “It’s not impossible to be a moral person. Your definitions might just need updating.”

“Compromising?”

“No,
updating
. Shifting to acknowledge the change in your circumstances. And that’s sometimes going to create tough questions. What we need to ask ourselves is whether Michael is a threat to our community.”

“I’m not sure,” Carly said. “I suppose we’ll just have to watch him and see if it was a momentary . . . breakdown, or if he’s unable to control his behavior.”

“And if he is unable to control himself?” Justin met her eyes, and Carly had to look away.

“We’ll make that decision then, okay? It’s too much for me right now. Because I know anything that happens to Michael is going to have to involve Stacy. If we . . . threw him out, Stacy would insist on going with him. She wouldn’t leave a child alone in the wilderness. And we can’t lose our doctor.”

Justin nodded. “We have to think along practical lines first and foremost. First is the safety of our community, but there is a price we have to pay for it.”

There was always a price. Carly just didn’t know if it was a price that was going to be too much for them to pay.

It was almost the full seventy-two hours later that Justin heard shouting and ran for the gate. He reached it as Pearl drove the wagon through. He scanned the scene: horse healthy and uninjured, and the human driver was also unmarked. The wagon bed was full, a tarp pulled over the top of it. Pearl waved and chatted but didn’t slow the wagon, headed straight for the barn.

“Later,” Justin said to them as she pulled inside, and he tugged the door closed after them.

Pearl hopped down out of the driver’s seat and answered the anxious question in his eyes as he approached. “I’ve got it. And a good deal of other supplies. Medicines and things Stacy needed. Even some surgical gear.”

Justin almost collapsed in sheer relief.

“The place had been looted, but it seems they only took the painkillers. There were lots of antibiotics and antivirals left. Other things, too. I may make another trip back when things settle down. How is she?”

“Sick,” Justin said, and he apologized as soon as he heard how tart the word sounded.

Pearl cut him off mid-word. “I understand. Here.” She tugged up a corner of the tarp and lifted out a plastic milk crate. “They had everything on your list, so you can try a few different kinds if need be.”

Justin yanked Pearl into his arms and gave her a hard hug. She awkwardly patted his shoulders until he released her.

“Sorry. I know you’re not a hugger, but I’m not good with words.”

She smiled. “I understand.”

Justin snatched up the first box of meds he put his hands on.

“Give her the first dose and then come back,” Pearl said. “I need to talk to you.”

He waved a hand to show he’d heard but didn’t slow his pace. He went into the bedroom where Carly slept. Mindy was seated beside her, reading, and she let out a gasp of relief when she saw the small box of pills in his hand. His fingers shook as he removed the pill from its packaging.

“Take this, Carly,” he murmured. He lifted her and slipped the pill between her lips and tilted the cup of water up to her mouth. She drank greedily, then fell back with a sigh.

“You’ll feel better soon,” he said.

“I love you,” Carly whispered. “I need you to know—”

“Of course I know,” Justin said. Her fevered mind had forgotten they already had this conversation. He didn’t want to have it again.

“In case—”

“Don’t talk like that.” He bent and gave her a light kiss. Her poor lips felt so warm and dry. He dabbed them with lip balm and refreshed the cool cloth on her forehead. “I’ll be back, honey. Rest.”

She nodded. He heard her breathing change to that of slumber before he even reached the bedroom door.

Pearl was currying Shadowfax’s coat. Justin took another brush from the peg and began working on the other side, combing out some of the snarls in Shadowfax’s mane.

“I take it drugs weren’t the only thing you found.” He nodded over at the wagon.

“I wanted to talk to you before I took this stuff to Stacy. I have some papers I want you to see.”

“What sort of papers?”

“Orders for vaccinations,” Pearl said. She met his eyes. “Vaccinations made by Baker-Lewis. A certain type of flu vaccination was mailed to very specific locations. It struck me as odd they’d want to make sure these certain types of vaccines were sent to certain areas. Certain doctors’ offices, even.”

“We didn’t find anything like that at Cederna headquarters.” Justin continued to brush, but his movements were slow, mechanical.

“As you noted, some of the documents could have burned, or maybe they just weren’t there in the first place.” Pearl licked her lips. “Listen, Justin, let me tell it to you my way. When I got to the distribution center, it was abandoned, like I expected. I brought Shadowfax into one of the loading bays and parked her down there while I scouted for the stuff we’d need and made note of other things I knew Stacy could use, like antibiotics with a good shelf life. I gathered up Carly’s stuff first, and then I thought I heard a noise. I went upstairs to an office above the warehouse. I could see down where Shadowfax was, and I set up a sniper post there, ready for trouble. While I was waiting, my eye was caught by some papers on the desk. I started reading them, and that’s when I noticed the name signed at the bottom . . . Kirgan Lewis
.
”

Justin jerked at the sound of the name. “Are you sure?”

She went to the wagon and withdrew a piece of paper from one of the boxes. Justin couldn’t read it. The letters seemed to scatter all over the paper, but he could see the signature at the bottom, bold and clear. It was a signature he’d seen dozens of times on his own orders, on his discharge papers.

For a long moment, Justin stared at it, as though willing it to change, willing it to be different, and he would feel so relieved . . .
so
relieved.

But it didn’t change. It was Lewis’s signature.

Lewis
 . . . Baker-Lewis.

It felt like the bottom had dropped out of his world. He gripped the side of the wagon and closed his eyes for a moment until the sensation of vertigo had passed. When he opened them, he found Shadowfax and Pearl watching him with almost identical expressions of concern. He gave them both a brief smile to let them know he was all right, but it felt more like a grimace. His gaze was drawn back to the paper clutched in his hand. The harder he tried to read the text above the scrawled signature, the worse it got.

Justin thrust it back at Pearl. “What does it say?”

Her voice was gentle. “It’s a memo ordering some batches of Baker-Lewis vaccine shipped to certain locations in lieu of the Cederna-made vaccine. I’m sure it confused the hell out of everyone . . . wondering why he wanted batches sent to specific locations.”

“Read them off,” Justin said, and Pearl complied, listing the cities and, in some cases, the specific physicians who should receive the vaccine.

Justin sat down on the stacked bags of corn. It was sit down or fall down. “Dr. Randolph Michaelson, of Chicago,” he said. “
My
doctor.”

Pearl crouched down beside him. “Justin I don’t know what you want to do with this information. I know that Carly suspected—”

He gave a hollow laugh. “She was right. It was the vaccine that gave us the immunity. But it wasn’t Cederna. It was the one made by Baker-Lewis.”

“I thought . . . well . . . Kirgan is an unusual name.”

“That it is.” Justin stood. “He usually went by K. Lewis, unless he was signing something formal. Such as an order to send life-saving vaccine to specific locations.” He threw the currycomb, and it struck the wall with a bang loud enough to make Shadowfax jump. “He knew. He fucking
knew
.”

Pearl nodded.

Justin paced. His mind replayed a conversation from long ago.

“They couldn’t stop it, you know.” Lewis twirled a pen in his fingers, and his lips were quirked in a tiny smile. “Their quarantine models are outdated, designed to protect a population from a slow-moving contagion. Not something that spreads with a cough on an airplane that makes stops in cities all over the world. Without fast, decisive action, they’ll lose control almost immediately. And when have you ever known the government to take fast, decisive action? It would be over before they decided to enforce the quarantine orders. Far too late.”

Justin stopped in his tracks and spun on his heel to face Pearl again. “Why? For Christ’s sake
why
? Why would he do it?”

“I don’t know,” Pearl said. “I don’t know why anyone could do such an evil thing, but someone
did
. And it looks like he made sure the vaccine went to specific locations before the virus was released. To your doctor’s office. Did he know . . .”

“He knew I got a physical every year in February,” Justin said. He rubbed the back of his hand over his lips.

Your predictability, Justin . . . that and your emotions . . .

“Excuse me,” he said, and it was as though the words had left his mouth of their own accord. Justin found his feet functioning on autopilot as well, carrying him outside the barn, through the yard, toward the tree where he perched to watch the hole in the fence. He passed some of the patrol as he walked, and as if from a distance, he watched himself exchange pleasantries and listen to a report before moving on. He climbed his tree and settled in the crook of a branch, staring sightlessly over the stillness of the swamp.

He would have to tell the townspeople. But how would they react, knowing it was the commander of his Unit that had done this to them? How could they ever trust him again?

He needed to go back, to take care of Carly and get her started on the road to recovery, but he also needed just a few moments alone. A few minutes to digest that everything he’d ever believed about honor and integrity was a lie. Lewis, who had seen qualities in Justin he didn’t know he had himself. Lewis, who had taught Justin everything he knew, who had trained his mind and body. He had taken a worthless foster kid who was going down the predictable path, and had turned him into a disciplined warrior.

Things fall apart, Justin. The center does not hold.

Indeed, it did not. Justin’s head fell back against the rough tree trunk and he stared up at the leafy canopy overhead.

“Take this.”

“Wha—” Carly opened her eyes and blinked hard to try to focus. Justin’s face was above hers, and he had two small pills pinched between his fingers. She opened her mouth and he popped them inside, followed by a sip of water.