The Kingdom Land (13 page)

The eastern edge of Chief Mountain was filled with
sheer cliffs chiseled by glaciers centuries earlier. From the
plains you could easily distinguish Chief Mountain from the rest of
the mountain range; it rose almost as a pillar with its rock
ridges, and it was set further east from the rest of the peaks.
Erik guessed that it was called Chief because it was separate and
more distinct than any of the other mountains. The other mountains
seemed to be melded together into a unit, but Chief Mountain was
its own entity. Chief Mountain was his favorite.

To his left were mountain sheep carelessly playing,
unafraid of Erik, knowing his awkward human limbs could not carry
him to their playground. However, as he found a solid rock perch to
rest, it wasn’t the sheep or the lake or the meadows that held
Erik’s attention.

He looked east toward the plains. From his vantage
point, he saw beyond the green foothills to the plains, to the
prairie that housed the Cascade County farms. From this distance he
couldn’t pick out a specific town, or for that matter, even the
brownness of the land. The air above the plains was too thick with
dust from the drought to see that distance. But as he looked to the
east he fell deep into thought and, with a telescopic effect, began
to see things his eyes could not literally reach.

He saw Fairfield, and he pictured the diner in which
he had the conversation with John. He saw an unmarked spot on the
prairie where he had driven in despair and felt life and hope for
the first time, and he savored the innocence of that moment with
God. He saw the Coopers farm with the John Deere tractor waiting
for his return to work, and the bunkhouse with its staleness and
bare walls.

He thought about the Coopers and how hard they had
tried to show their love to him. Erik’s thoughts were not romantic
dreams or negative laments as he had held so often in his
bunkhouse. He looked at his surroundings and he communed with
God.

“
Lord, so many times I have dreamed
about the future, but I knew the dreams would never be true. It
seemed as if I didn’t have a future. Nothing to plan for or aspire
to; I just wanted to get out. Get out of the farm and get away from
Fairfield. But now, Lord, if You do have a plan for my life, if You
have called me by name like John said, there must be a purpose for
me. For the first time it seems as if a future, not just a repeat
of today, but a future, is possible. Lord make me a future. Show me
Your purpose. I want to do something and be someone. Lord, show me
what I can do for You.”

Just the evening before Erik marveled that God would
answer him, and now his heart was excited that God might not only
touch him, but also have a purpose for him.

As he thought and prayed, he still looked to the east
toward the plains. It seemed odd to Erik to look towards the
deserted plains when he was in midst of such beauty, but it was the
plains that pulled him. It was on the Plains that the work needed
to be done mixed with a purpose directed by God. The work that
needed done would not be done with a John Deere tractor, but in his
partnership with Christ. It was the Plains that held his attention.
It wasn’t a conscious decision to look east. Erik’s eyes were
pulled there as if he had left something behind that could only be
found by looking back.

For the first time Erik began to realize that he was
part of that land and a farmer. As he knew before, a farmer wasn’t
an occupation, but an identity. A farmer was as much a part of the
land as the wheat fields planted in it. Erik had never wanted to
admit to being a farmer. That barren land was Erik’s identity. He
never wanted to admit it and he never wanted to be part of it, but
the land had formed him into a farmer. No matter what happened in
the future or where life would take him, his identity would still
be that of a farmer. He would always be a farmer.

That reality didn’t bring joy or freedom to Erik. If
God has designed him to be a farmer, He must also have a plan for
Erik within the land; a land that, although short in distance, was
still far from the beauty of the mountain meadows.

John had said that Jesus had not prayed to His father
to take the believers from the world. Erik knew that his world was
not the beauty of the mountains, but his world was the survival of
the plains. He might have prayed that Jesus would take him away
from the farm, but he knew that time had not yet come. He was a
young man who had to make something of his life. No matter what he
thought of the farm, it was his life and he could not leave it
until whatever purpose God had for him there was done. Maybe his
parents had run away, one to drugs, one to alcohol, but he needed
to finish something in that land. He didn’t even know what that
something was, but he knew it would only be found in the fields of
the barren plains.

He prayed again.
“God, if you really want me to go back to that place, please
generate within me a love for the land. Maybe, I shouldn’t say,
land, ‘cause I don’t think I can ever love dirt. Give me a love for
my purpose within the land. I have no family. You knew my parents
were dead long before me. Lord, give me a new family with new love
and new hope. My past had nothing, please, Lord, make me a future
that includes love. Bring new life to my hardened
heart.”

He smiled as he realized that in the last few minutes
he had prayed more than he had his entire life previously. He
smiled that instead of praying for escape, he had prayed to find
strength and purpose to remain.

“
It look me twenty-two years to mess
up me life, I wonder with Him how long it will take to make a new
one.” Erik spoke aloud to no one but the mountains goats, but it
seemed as if he had just signed a contract for the rest of his
life.

The plains stretched before him below his mountain
perch. He would go back to the Coopers and to John and to God. That
land was his, given to Him by God, and he was part of that land and
the lives that inhabited it. If God was powerful and loving, He
would not only send Erik to the plains, but would meet Erik on
those plains.

Finally, it was time to leave the mountains. He no
longer had the luxury to merely think and dream. He had already
wasted the bulk of his life wondering and dreaming. It was time to
act, not dream. Erik brushed his jeans of the meadow grass and he
started towards the plains.

As he worked his way down the mountain trail the sun
began to set behind him. It was August in the Big Sky country so
the sunset was late, but the mountain peaks began to hide its
warmth. He quickened his pace so he wouldn’t be stranded in the
darkness. The sound of a large stream to his left mimicked a large
gust of wind through the pines. As long as he kept the sound to his
left, he knew he would reach the main trailhead. Occasionally, he
would stumble on a rock hidden by the twilight shadows, but he
never lessened his pace. The shadows gave way to grayish tones as
the mountains reached into evening. It almost seemed as if the
beauty of the forest had entrapped him by having Erik linger too
long. Now the mountains held him in an ever-increasing darkness.
That which had been so beautiful was now a blackened maze. Erik
wasn’t afraid, but he was aware the cliffs of Chief Mountain would
not allow for any stray step. Erik mused how something so beautiful
could be changed into danger so quickly. The plains held no such
beauty but also no such danger. When he finally noticed the trail
moving from a sharp descent into the gradual slope of the meadows,
he felt more comfortable. He would make this trip again, but he
would not let its beauty hide from him the reality of its
cliffs.

His thoughts still raced as he made his way along the
easy last two miles. He remembered the fight two nights before. It
was obvious that the barmaid, Laura, was another one of his
fantasies, and he wondered if there would ever be someone who would
fill the need of companionship for him. She had filled a purpose,
but not the need. He still needed a family and that would only be
obtained by finding a real girl who would make for a real
relationship.

Erik didn’t know if he could have a long term
relationship with anyone. People had always left him in the past.
Could he really be that close and that trusting of anyone? If he
hadn’t been able to accept the Coopers love, would he be able to
accept a girl’s arms either? The more he thought, the more he
realized he was once again thinking too much. As John had told him,
he needed to keep it simple. He needed to go back to the farm and
simply believe that things were different and God would help. Other
than that, he knew nothing about what the future would bring. It
was not a decision to leave the mountains so much as it was his
destiny.

Chapter Ten

 

 

T
he last
pair of foothills gave way to the level plains and the lights of
Fairfield. It was a long drive after a long day and Erik hadn't
eaten since the quick lunch in John's car. The hike to Chief
Mountain had left him weak with hunger. He'd need to get something
to eat in Fairfield. He didn't want another stop, but he was too
hungry and afraid he might fall asleep at the wheel if he
didn't.

Since leaving Chief Mountain, Erik's eyes and mind
had only focused on the headlights that pierced the darkness. The
last days had carried more thoughts and emotions than he could
handle. Now he was only left with a sleep deprived stare, and the
need to eat and get to his bunkhouse bed. He could visualize the
lopsided bed and the smell of the room. Some days he felt disgust
at their condition, but tonight even the bunkhouse bed would feel
good.

It was approaching 11:00 and the
only thing open would be the Point drive-in. The Point was at the
fork of Highway 2 west and roads that headed north. Every car,
truck or occasional tractor had to pass the mammoth, neon
Point
sign, which was the only thing that
distinguished Fairfield from the eighteen other towns on Highway 2.
The restaurant at the Point was a square cinder block building with
large pane windows slanted outward to give the illusion it was
bigger than the seventeen seats within. A corrugated tin canopy
kept the sun from a single row of intercom spaces without. The
intercoms hadn't worked in years, but people didn't park for
convenience but the opportunity to eat without having to talk.
Inside, in addition to the seats, was a U shaped counter which
ended at the waitress station. The grill was in full view of
everyone, and its open vent carried an irritating hum.

When Erik pulled into the Point,
there was only one other vehicle, an older Datsun mini-pickup, so
he didn't even bother to tuck in his shirt or straighten his hair
with fingers used as a comb. Erik's only concern was how fast he
could get something to eat and hopefully feel more awake. He had to
grab the pickup fender before his legs became legs again. He arched
his back walking the few steps to the door. There was one other
person at the counter, and the cook, a guy, partially blocked his
view of who it was.
Must be a girl,
Erik thought.
That cook
never pays attention to anyone unless it's a pretty
girl.

The ding of the bell on the closing door alerted the
two to Erik's presence. He saw the girl lean back away from the
cook's conversation, which she must not have found too exhilarating
if her eagerness for distraction were any indication. It took
Erik's tired mind a moment to registered who she was. Erik had
never seen Laura outside of the Mint, and certainly didn't expect
to see her here. He didn't know how to react once he recognized
her. His first instinct was to turn around and leave.

He didn't have a chance for retreat. She had already
seen him, and her words showed that she recognized him much more
easily than he had her.

“
I know you. You're the idiot that
decided he could fight a guy three times his size.” She gave his
face a critical look. “You look just terrible. I'm surprised you
aren't in the hospital the way you got dragged you across the
floor. You better pick your fights better next time.”

“Great that's the third time you've called me an
idiot. You made it clear what you think of me. I wasn't trying to
start a fight, but you're right, I was an idiot to try to protect
you from that drunk. The only thanks I got was you yelling at me
while your boss drug me across the floor.”

Erik was mad at Laura, but was reminded again of her
beauty. She really was everything he had dreamt of. He didn't want
anything to do with her, but was stilled awed by her presense.

Laura shifted back on her seat and now used the cook
as a barrier. Unfortunately for her the cook had enough of this
game and went back to the grill. Laura looked away and then back to
Erik

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean a word of it. I had to put
on a show so my boss wouldn't fire me. It didn't work. My boss let
me go. Let's say he gave me the chance to find new employment. Told
me he didn't need me having my ‘boyfriend' coming in and causing
problems with the regulars,” she gave a little mirthless laugh.

“
You got fired? I'm not your
boyfriend.”

“
Boy, you're quick aren't you? I
told him that you weren't any boyfriend of mine, but it didn't
matter. He's been looking for an excuse, anyways, so don't give
yourself too much credit. The place has been too slow and he's
pretty tight. I knew he couldn't afford to keep me much longer, you
just gave him a good excuse so he didn't have to feel bad about
it.” She shrugged.