The Infamous Ellen James (Infamous Series) (11 page)

"I was kind of drunk and I think my muff was calling the shots by that point in the night." I flush a little with embarrassment as I remember the events of the night.

Did I really let him take a shot from between my tits?

Yes, yes you did, and you enjoyed every second of it.

"Stop acting embarrassed. I was really happy to see you and your vagina living in the moment and not worrying about the consequences." Amy stands up to wash her coffee mug in the sink.

"So that explains why you're always encouraging me to consume obscene amounts of alcohol." I tap my fingers on the table and look at her inquisitively.

She laughs loudly. "Exactly!"

"So you remember how I told you I kept getting a feeling of déjà vu around Trent?"

"Yes." Amy turns off the faucet and leans against the counter, crossing her arms and giving me her full attention.

"Well, I was right. I've met him before, prior to his arrival to Regency." I slowly take a sip of my coffee.

Amy begins edgily tapping her foot against the hardwood kitchen floor. "Out with it!"

I leisurely set my coffee mug back on the table and clear my throat. Amy is the most impatient person I have ever met, and I find absolute joy in prolonging things just to get her worked up.

"He saw my presentation. In Nashville."

Amy's jaw drops and her eyes go wide with shock.

"What?! He was there?!" She is practically screaming, and I wouldn't be surprised if she just woke up the entire apartment complex.

"Calm down, crazy," I whisper-yell to her. "Yes. Trent Hamilton was present for one of the most embarrassing moments of my life." I give her a pointed stare.

"Fucking shit! I'm such a cunt!" Amy visibly feels terrible for her very large part in the Nashville presentation.

"Yeah, you kind of are." I chuckle a little to lighten up the mood.

Amy only gives me a tight smile in return.

"Don't worry about it, labia face. In your defense, when you emailed those slides back to me, you put in all caps,
Read through these one more time
."

"I know, Ellie, but I should have known you were too nervous to figure out I was secretly messing with you." She looks so remorseful right now. She's giving me her full-blown puppy-dog look, and I swear if I were a lesbian, I would just kiss her face off.

"Stop looking at me like you're going to thrust your tongue in my mouth." Amy grabs my empty coffee mug off of the table and rinses it out in the sink.

"Sorry, but you just look so pathetic with the puppy-dog eyes." Somehow this girl has a way of always knowing what I'm thinking. She is probably one of the only people in my life who
really
knows me. Amy knows me better than my own sister, Elizabeth. Although she can be a total pain in my ass some days, I honestly don't know what I would do without this crazy girl in my life.

Flashback to Nashville one and half months ago...

After begrudgingly agreeing to be the sole presenter for Regency Memorial Hospital, I found myself sitting alone in my hotel room the night before my big presentation. I was scheduled to present in front of several very well-known trauma surgeons along with numerous board representatives from hospitals around the nation. Hell, the god damn CEO of the Cleveland Clinic was supposed to be at this conference. Thank god I wasn't the only presenter, but still, I was nervous as hell. I found myself wired and unable to sleep, which was only worsening my anxiety towards this very nerve-racking experience. I'm not sure why my nursing manager Shirley decided that she wanted me to represent Regency. Sometimes I question her ability to rationally make decisions. I had done several presentations and educational lectures for the staff at my own hospital, but I had never been faced with anything of this magnitude. To say I was freaking out was definitely putting it mildly.

My flight from Charlotte to Nashville was a fucking nightmare. The scheduled one-hour flight took three times longer due to mechanical difficulties, and this cunt of a flight attendant rudely cut me off after four glasses of wine. Who does that? A cunt, that's who; a god damn cunt named Gina whose bleached blond stripper hair will most likely fall out from incessant amounts of peroxide and hairspray. Don't worry; I left her a kind note on my beverage napkin…

Dear Va-Gina,

Learn some fucking manners before you rudely cut someone off from alcohol on a fucking flight that was delayed for over two hours. Four glasses of wine is barely enough to give me a buzz.

Lick my asshole,

Passenger 32B

P.S. I fucked your pilot, Bill, last weekend in New York. He's ah-mazing.

No, I hadn't really screwed a pilot named Bill last weekend in New York, but I could guarantee that Va-Gina was sleeping with him. I had a good friend in college who'd become a flight attendant, and she used to tell me all the dirty details and juicy gossip. Apparently flight attendants and pilots sleep around
—a lot
. I was hoping my little white lie about Pilot Bill would get her all kinds of pissed.

Obviously, this conference had me on edge.

I never really had a problem speaking in front of large groups of people, but this presentation was huge for Regency Memorial Hospital. We were hoping to bring a positive spotlight to our new state-of-the-art facilities along with cultivating additional donations towards our ongoing cause in perfecting patient care in the emergency department setting.

I managed to eat half a cheeseburger and a few fries I'd ordered from room service. My nerves were really getting the best of me, and I was starting to panic about the slide presentation I'd prepared. I decided to email Amy my slides and beg her to look through them one final time. I sent her a quick text telling her to check her email, and she responded quickly with some smartass remark saying she'd get right on it.

Since the hospital was paying for everything, I decided to dive head first into the liquor bar that was so generously on hand. I ordered a horrible romantic comedy on pay-per-view, practically emptied the vending machine of candy, and continued to drink myself into a stupor. I managed to pass out sometime after midnight.

I woke up to the alarm I'd thankfully remembered to set last night and realized I'd been unknowingly pushing snooze for over an hour. I now had less than thirty minutes to shower, get dressed, and be ready to present downstairs in the conference room.

Shit!

I rushed through my shower so quickly that I nearly fell face first on the white tile floor. I hurriedly got dressed in my black pencil skirt, white button-up blouse, and favorite pair of black heels. These heels dressed up any outfit and seemed to add a little bit of sexy to my very professional attire. I decided to leave my auburn locks down and slightly wavy. My makeup was kept to a minimum because I honestly had no time for details. Mascara, blush, and lip gloss were the best I could do. All I could say is thank god I wasn't hungover. I grabbed my purse, laptop, notes, and cell phone before quickly walking out of my hotel room toward the elevators.

I managed to make it to the conference room with just enough time to set my laptop up to the projection screen and get myself settled in. I nervously ran my sweaty palms down the length of skirt and silently hoped I wasn't visibly showing pit stains. I was literally sweating like a whore in church. Why was it so fucking hot in there? Was Nashville supposed to be this hot in May? I checked the thermostat on the wall behind the projection screen and dropped that baby down as far as it could go. The last thing I needed was an audience of mostly men focusing in on my sweaty pit stains. I swiftly checked my email and saw that Amy had sent back the slides, stating she'd made a few minor changes and that I should review them before presenting.

Well, fuck.

I didn't have time to review each and every slide. I was sure whatever she'd decided to change was fine and I probably wouldn't even notice. Amy is a huge stickler for grammar and spelling, and I had a feeling that was what the minor changes entailed.

I was sitting in one of the cushy black office chairs while everyone filed in, taking their seats around the overwhelmingly huge conference table that was in the center of the room. Everything was set up and ready to go, and I was just anxious to get this whole ordeal over with.

I was so nervous that I could barely remember anyone's name upon introduction. My mind was just kind of on autopilot. Luckily, I'd managed to snag business cards of almost everyone, which I would kindly hand to my manager Shirley when I got back to Charlotte. A few minutes after nine a.m. I decided to start my presentation, feeling I'd given everyone more than enough time to arrive.

As I cleared my throat and began to introduce myself, I noticed a ridiculously attractive, dark-haired gentleman stroll in and take a seat. My mind was foggy from nerves, but it wasn't too foggy that I couldn't notice the sexy piece of ass that had just strolled in. After mouthing "sorry" in my direction, he gave me a wink and a smile. I just smiled back and continued on with my introduction.

About fifteen minutes into the presentation, I felt like things were going smoothly. The physicians and hospital board officials seemed excited about Regency's new state-of-the-art facilities and recent changes to the emergency department staffing protocols. Their positive reactions towards my presentation gave me a small boost of confidence. I found myself engaging my audience more as I sauntered around the room and continued discussing the positive aspects of my hospital's staffing protocols, policies, and procedures. Yeah, I knew it was extremely boring crap. I knew from the slides that I was nearing the end of my presentation, and the butterflies in my stomach were slowly dissipating as I got closer to the finish line.

I was facing my audience as I turned to the next slide and noticed several small smirks cross their faces as they glanced up to the projection screen. I just brushed it off and continued on discussing projected cost savings in relation to our newest policies and changes. As I looked up at the screen before turning to the next slide, I finally became aware of why several physicians and hospital board officials were no longer making eye contact with me and mostly just gawking at the current slide with amused grins on their faces. The slide that was up on the projection screen, which seemed like it was the size of a giant billboard, was a picture of me from a Halloween party last year.

Unfortunately, the theme of the party had been sex toys. I'd been dressed in boy shorts, a lace camisole top, high heels, and a strap-on with a twelve-inch rubber cock attached to it. Right now, I was screaming, "Screw You, Amy!” in my head. I was pretty sure I was frozen in complete mortification for a good thirty seconds because I was in absolute shock. Hell, shock didn't even begin to describe the emotion that had turned me into a statue. I was literally frozen in place. An entire room of prestigious trauma surgeons and hospital board officials were currently staring at a picture of me scantily clad with a giant dildo strapped to my waist.

Could you die from embarrassment?

I hastily changed the slides and turned back to face my audience, who were currently in various states of emotions.

Shock.

Amusement.

Awkwardly gawking at me.

Holding back laughter.

"Just wanted to make sure you were all awake." I cleared my throat and then gave a small, nervous laugh.

"Well, sweetheart, you definitely have my attention," an older, heavyset gentleman said from the back of the room. This thankfully broke the awkward silence; I could hear several loud chuckles fill the room.

I somehow managed to continue on with my presentation and gave the rest of my planned speech without the assistance of the slides. I refused to unknowingly show another inappropriate picture. I'd already managed to make a big enough ass out of myself as it was; no need to add more fuel to the fire. After finishing the presentation, I hurriedly rushed through saying goodbyes and thank-yous. I gave the excuse that I had a flight to catch. I was just too embarrassed to be in the room with those people for any longer.

I practically sprinted to my hotel room and locked myself in.

I called Amy and left her a very detailed voicemail letting her know the kind of damage she'd just done with that little stunt. I didn't hold back and essentially called her every name in the book while simultaneously threatening to email the entire hospital pictures of her from the work Christmas party last year.

I started to organize the business cards that had been handed to me before I'd speedily left the conference room and notice that at least five of the cards had personal cell numbers telling me to call them.

One in particular stated, "I'd love a personal wakeup call from you."

You have got to be kidding me.

You'd think a room full of hospital officials and prestigious surgeons would have had the decency to act professional, but you show them one picture of yourself scantily clad with a twelve-inch rubber cock and they might as well have jerked one out during my presentation.

Lesson learned. When Amy emails you back and instructs you to
review
the slides one last time, you review the fucking slides.

Better yet, never let Amy touch any slides for any type of presentation ever again.

Chapter Fourteen