The Importance of Being Earnest (27 page)

M
ABEL
C
HILTERN
. I know. And I think you might have mentioned it before. I am sure I have given you heaps of opportunities.

L
ORD
G
ORING
. Mabel, do be serious. Please be serious.

M
ABEL
C
HILTERN
. Ah! that is the sort of thing a man always says to a girl before he has been married to her. He never says it afterwards.

L
ORD
G
ORING
.
(Taking hold of her hand.)
Mabel, I have told you that I love you. Can’t you love me a little in return?

M
ABEL
C
HILTERN
. You silly Arthur! If you knew anything about … anything, which you don’t, you would know that I adore you. Everyone in London knows it except you. It is a public scandal the way I adore you. I have been going about for the last six months telling the whole of society that I adore you. I wonder you consent to have anything to say to me. I have no character left at all. At least, I feel so happy that I am quite sure I have no character left at all.

L
ORD
G
ORING
.
(Catches her in his arms and kisses her. Then there is a pause of bliss.)
Dear! Do you know I was awfully afraid of being refused!

M
ABEL
C
HILTERN
.
(Looking up at him.)
But you never have been refused yet by anybody, have you, Arthur? I can’t imagine anyone refusing you.

L
ORD
G
ORING
.
(After kissing her again.)
Of course I’m not nearly good enough for you, Mabel.

M
ABEL
C
HILTERN
.
(Nestling close to him.)
I am so glad, darling. I was afraid you were.

L
ORD
G
ORING
.
(After some hesitation.)
And I’m … I’m a little over thirty.

M
ABEL
C
HILTERN
. Dear, you look weeks younger than that.

L
ORD
G
ORING
.
(Enthusiastically.)
How sweet of you to say so!… And it is only fair to tell you frankly that I am fearfully extravagant.

M
ABEL
C
HILTERN
. But so am I, Arthur. So we’re sure to agree. And now I must go and see Gertrude.

L
ORD
G
ORING
. Must you really?
(Kisses her.)

M
ABEL
C
HILTERN
. Yes.

L
ORD
G
ORING
. Then do tell her I want to talk to her particularly. I have been waiting here all the morning to see either her or Robert.

M
ABEL
C
HILTERN
. Do you mean to say you didn’t come here expressly to propose to me?

L
ORD
G
ORING
.
(Triumphantly.)
No; that was a flash of genius.

M
ABEL
C
HILTERN
. Your first.

L
ORD
G
ORING
.
(With determination.)
My last.

M
ABEL
C
HILTERN
. I am delighted to hear it. Now don’t stir. I’ll be back in five minutes. And don’t fall into any temptations while I am away.

L
ORD
G
ORING
. Dear Mabel, while you are away, there are none. It makes me horribly dependent on you.

(Enter Lady Chiltern.)

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
. Good morning, dear! How pretty you are looking!

M
ABEL
C
HILTERN
. How pale you are looking, Gertrude! It is most becoming!

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
. Good morning, Lord Goring!

L
ORD
G
ORING
.
(Bowing.)
Good morning, Lady Chiltern!

M
ABEL
C
HILTERN
.
(Aside to Lord Goring.)
I shall be in the conservatory, under the second palm tree on the left.

L
ORD
G
ORING
. Second on the left?

M
ABEL
C
HILTERN
.
(With a look of mock surprise.)
Yes; the usual palm tree.

(Blows a kiss to him, unobserved by Lady Chiltern, and goes out.)

L
ORD
G
ORING
. Lady Chiltern, I have a certain amount of very good news to tell you. Mrs. Cheveley gave me up Robert’s letter last night, and I burned it. Robert is safe.

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
.
(Sinking on the sofa.)
Safe! Oh! I am so glad of that. What a good friend you are to him—to us!

L
ORD
G
ORING
. There is only one person now that could be said to be in any danger.

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
. Who is that?

L
ORD
G
ORING
.
(Sitting down beside her.)
Yourself.

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
. I! In danger? What do you mean?

L
ORD
G
ORING
. Danger is too great a word. It is a word I should not have used. But I admit I have something to tell you that may distress you, that terribly distresses me. Yesterday evening you wrote me a very beautiful, womanly letter, asking me for my help. You wrote to me as one of your oldest friends, one of your husband’s oldest friends. Mrs. Cheveley stole that letter from my rooms.

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
. Well, what use is it to her? Why should she not have it?

L
ORD
G
ORING
.
(Rising.)
Lady Chiltern, I will be quite frank with you. Mrs. Cheveley puts a certain construction on that letter and proposes to send it to your husband.

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
. But what construction could she put on it?… Oh! not that! not that! If I in—in trouble, and wanting your help, trusting you, propose to come to you … that you may advise me … assist me … Oh! are there women so horrible as that …? And she proposes to send it to my husband? Tell me what happened. Tell me all that happened.

L
ORD
G
ORING
. Mrs. Cheveley was concealed in a room adjoining my library, without my knowledge. I thought that the person who was waiting in that room to see me was yourself. Robert came in unexpectedly. A chair or something fell in the room. He forced his way in, and he discovered her. We had a terrible scene.
I still thought it was you. He left me in anger. At the end of everything Mrs. Cheveley got possession of your letter—she stole it, when or how, I don’t know.

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
. At what hour did this happen?

L
ORD
G
ORING
. At half-past ten. And now I propose that we tell Robert the whole thing at once.

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
.
(Looking at him with amazement that is almost terror.)
You want me to tell Robert that the woman you expected was not Mrs. Cheveley, but myself? That it was I whom you thought was concealed in a room in your house, at half-past ten o’clock at night? You want me to tell him that?

L
ORD
G
ORING
. I think it is better that he should know the exact truth.

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
.
(Rising.)
Oh, I couldn’t, I couldn’t!

L
ORD
G
ORING
. May I do it?

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
. No.

L
ORD
G
ORING
.
(Gravely.)
You are wrong, Lady Chiltern.

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
. No. The letter must be intercepted. That is all. But how can I do it? Letters arrive for him every moment of the day. His secretaries open them and hand them to him. I dare not ask the servants to bring me his letters. It would be impossible. Oh! why don’t you tell me what to do?

L
ORD
G
ORING
. Pray be calm, Lady Chiltern, and answer the questions I am going to put to you. You said his secretaries open his letters.

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
. Yes.

L
ORD
G
ORING
. Who is with him to-day? Mr. Trafford, isn’t it?

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
. No. Mr. Montfort, I think.

L
ORD
G
ORING
. You can trust him?

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
.
(With a gesture of despair.)
Oh! how do I know?

L
ORD
G
ORING
. He would do what you asked him, wouldn’t he?

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
. I think so.

L
ORD
G
ORING
. Your letter was on pink paper. He could recognize it without reading it, couldn’t he? By the colour?

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
. I suppose so.

L
ORD
G
ORING
. Is he in the house now?

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
. Yes.

L
ORD
G
ORING
. Then I will go and see him myself, and tell him that a certain letter, written on pink paper, is to be forwarded to Robert to-day, and that at all costs it must not reach him.
(Goes to the door, and opens it.)
Oh! Robert is coming upstairs with the letter in his hand. It has reached him already.

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
.
(With a cry of pain.)
Oh! you have saved his life; what have you done with mine!

(Enter Sir Robert Chiltern. He has the letter in his hand, and is reading it. He comes towards his wife, not noticing Lord Goring’s presence.)

S
IR
R
OBERT
C
HILTERN
. “I want you. I trust you. I am coming to you. Gertrude.” Oh, my love! Is this true? Do you indeed trust me, and want me? If so, it was for me to come to you, not for you to write of coming to me. This letter of yours, Gertrude, makes me feel that nothing that the world may do can hurt me now. You want me, Gertrude?

(Lord Goring, unseen by Sir Robert Chiltern, makes an imploring sign to Lady Chiltern to accept the situation and Sir Robert’s error.)

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
. Yes.

S
IR
R
OBERT
C
HILTERN
. You trust me, Gertrude?

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
. Yes.

S
IR
R
OBERT
C
HILTERN
. Ah! why did you not add you loved me?

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
.
(Taking his hand.)
Because I loved you.

(Lord Goring passes into the conservatory.)

S
IR
R
OBERT
C
HILTERN
.
(Kisses her.)
Gertrude, you don’t know what I feel. When Montfort passed me your letter across the table—he had opened it by mistake, I suppose, without looking at the handwriting on the envelope—and I read it—oh! I did not care what disgrace or punishment was in store for me, I only thought you loved me still.

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
. There is no disgrace in store for you, nor any public shame. Mrs. Cheveley has handed over to Lord Goring the document that was in her possession, and he has destroyed it.

S
IR
R
OBERT
C
HILTERN
. Are you sure of this, Gertrude?

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
. Yes; Lord Goring has just told me.

S
IR
R
OBERT
C
HILTERN
. Then I am safe! Oh! what a wonderful thing
to be safe! For two days I have been in terror. I am safe now. How did Arthur destroy my letter? Tell me.

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
. He burned it.

S
IR
R
OBERT
C
HILTERN
. I wish I had seen that one sin of my youth burning to ashes. How many men there are in modern life who would like to see their past burning to white ashes before them! Is Arthur still here?

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
. Yes; he is in the conservatory.

S
IR
R
OBERT
C
HILTERN
. I am so glad now I made that speech last night in the House, so glad. I made it thinking that public disgrace might be the result. But it has not been so.

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
. Public honour has been the result.

S
IR
R
OBERT
C
HILTERN
. I think so. I fear so, almost. For although I am safe from detection, although every proof against me is destroyed, I suppose, Gertrude … I suppose I should retire from public life?
(He looks anxiously at his wife.)

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
.
(Eagerly.)
Oh yes, Robert, you should do that. It is your duty to do that.

S
IR
R
OBERT
C
HILTERN
. It is much to surrender.

L
ADY
C
HILTERN
. No; it will be much to gain.

(Sir Robert Chiltern walks up and down the room with a troubled expression. Then comes over to his wife, and puts his hand on her shoulder.)