The Imperfection of Swans (9 page)

Think of that fucking twink he’d abandoned Kevin for. Think of the divorce. How it had ruined the start of his dream years ago.

But….

Here he was now. Making up for that in some ways. Without Scott, no matter how much his family got with all of their second mortgages, Kevin knew the loan would never qualify.

Granted, he was still angry. Hurt.

But….

Ice-blue eyes found him, making Kevin flinch, and he forced his feet to move once more.

Scott stood as Kevin neared the table.

Another flinch as Kevin was pulled into Scott’s arms.

Less claustrophobia this time. A little more quickening of pulse.

Scott looked down at him as he pulled away. “It’s good to see you.”

“You too.” Kevin pulled out his chair and sat, then waited for Scott to do the same. “You look stressed.”

Scott’s lips curved into his trademark smile. “You know me well. More than anyone.”

Ignoring the implication, Kevin pushed on, beginning to feel nervous for an entirely different reason. “What’s wrong? You didn’t call me down from work just to have coffee.”

“True.” Scott sighed and pushed his half-eaten plate of coffee cake aside. “Do you want to get a coffee or something?”

“Come on, I think I’m going to vomit if you don’t get it over with.” He knew, suddenly.

The antacid he’d taken as he’d left his office wasn’t doing anything, and he could feel bile burning up his throat.

Another sigh.

Kevin only remembered one other time when Scott looked nervous. Somehow, Kevin was sure this would be as bad as hearing about Joe the twink ho.

“We haven’t called Anthony yet. I asked Angie to let me tell you first.” Scott reached out and placed his hand over Kevin’s, giving a squeeze, then holding on. “Anthony’s credit fell through. It looks like there is a lot of unpaid debt from his husband, and since their finances are tied, Anthony doesn’t qualify.”

“That doesn’t make sense. Anthony would have brought that up. No way he’d have volunteered to help if he thought he wasn’t in good standing.”

Another squeeze. “I looked into it, more than I probably should have. From the nature of Rick’s debts, I doubt Anthony knows anything about them. And the credit is bad enough, even I can’t justify pushing it through. I can’t say it’s illegal necessarily, but if noticed, it would definitely cost me my job.”

Kevin pulled out from underneath the warm weight of Scott’s hand. “But we’re set to close in two days. Maybe…. Maybe we can find someone else to become a partner. Donna or Elena might be willing to take on a second. I hate to ask them, but their kids are doing okay….” He truly thought he might throw up at the idea of losing the shop and at the possibility of asking more of his family for money.

“Actually, even if they are, there’s no way to push their loans quickly enough to be able to close on yours. Granted, we can still do that, but you’d have to amend your contract with the sellers. Maybe they’d be willing, but I’m betting they wouldn’t. I imagine there have been other people who’ve expressed interest to their agent already. That spot is prime. If Renata hadn’t gotten you under contract when she did, that place would be gone.”

His eyes burned. No, he was not going to cry in front of Scott. Never again. No matter what was happening. “So, that’s it, then.”

Scott nodded. Reaching out his hand, he wiped under Kevin’s eye with his thumb.

Apparently he was going to cry in front of Scott once more.

“I wish I could do something, Kev. I would if I could. Please believe that.”

Strangely, he did. Not that it mattered either way.

Maybe he could find another place. One that was cheaper. Someplace in the suburbs. He could open a shop in JP. He’d be living there soon enough with his moms anyway.

Living with his moms. It had seemed worth it. Now….

Another thought hit, and he let out a groan. “Oh no. Casper….”

Scott cocked an eyebrow and spoke through a mouthful of coffee cake. “Casper?”

“Yeah. Casper James, he’s a baker at Savor. You know, that restaurant in the Jewel hotel?”

“Sure. It’s great. But what about him?”

“He was going to rent the second level from me. Open a wedding cake bakery. Kind of a perfect combo, and it really would have helped on making the mortgage. He’s going to be devastated.” Kevin was surprised that he hurt for Casper nearly as much as for himself. He’d been so excited and in love with the brownstone. “I didn’t think I’d want anyone else in there with me, but Casper seemed as into it as I was.”

“Casper, huh?” Scott didn’t suppress a chuckle. “That’s an unfortunate name, unless you’re a ghost.”

Kevin felt strangely defensive, despite having thought the same thing himself when he’d met Casper after the work Christmas party.

Scott’s face suddenly darkened, his features serious. “Is he someone you’re seeing?”

“Do I seem that stupid to you? Going into business with someone I’m dating?” Kevin wanted to be irritated with Scott asking about his relationships, and normally he would have been, but something about Scott’s expression made him feel things he’d not wanted to ever feel again.

Scott just shrugged, but he seemed to relax a little. “Well, that sucks for him too, but you’re the one I’m worried about. Do you wanna take a walk with me or something, blow off some steam?”

“No. I’d better—” Kevin’s response was instant, but then he hesitated. He did know Scott well, and he abruptly realized what he’d meant by blow off steam. “I ah… should really get back to work. Looks like I won’t be quitting after all.”

Work. More burning of his eyes. Kevin stood quickly. He was not going to cry a second time. “Thanks for all your help.” He turned and moved quickly toward the door.

“Sorry, Kev. I’ll call tonight and check in on you.”

Kevin made a quick motion over his shoulder by way of response but didn’t slow.

The snowfall stung his eyes but cured any tear flow that was threatening. Looked like they were going to have a white Christmas in four days. Noelle would be ecstatic. The thought made him smile for a moment. At least she would be happy. Although he knew better. She’d be nearly as devastated as he felt.

Ah, Casper.

Fuck.

Kevin stepped into the doorway of a store to get some protection from the cold and called Casper’s cell. No answer. He almost left a message but then thought better of it. That wasn’t news a person should leave on voice mail. Instead he sent a text to call him when there was a free moment.

THE ELEVATOR
had nearly reached the floor of Kevin’s advertising agency when his phone began to vibrate. He glanced at the screen. Casper.

Well, that was fast.

Before he could answer, the doors slid open. Kevin tapped the button to return to the first floor, then swiped his thumb across the phone’s screen. “Hey, Casper. Thanks for calling back so quickly.”

“No problem. I just stepped out of the restaurant.” Casper’s voice sounded nervous. “Everything okay?”

Maybe this was a good thing. It was physically painful having to tell Casper the news. What if he’d gotten the loan, opened the business, and then failed? How would he call his family and tell them they’d lost all their money because they’d chosen to invest in him? He’d known Casper for a matter of minutes, and the experience was horrible. He wouldn’t be able to survive the other. “Hang on just a moment. I’m in the elevator and don’t have great reception. I’m almost back to the first floor.”

It was a lie, but he needed a second.

Had he always been so fragile, so quick to succumb to tears? He’d been through tons of stress and hurt. He’d never let anything beat him. Not even the divorce had managed to shatter him. He’d cried, but he’d gotten up the next day and gone to work.

But this? This threatened to make him crumble.

All too soon, the lobby vestibule was opened to him, and he stepped through, lifting the phone to his ear once more as he headed down the marble hallway toward the restroom. “Okay, better now. You still there?”

“Yes. I’m here.” Kevin didn’t know Casper well at all, but if he had to guess, it sounded like Casper was probably having to hold on to something to stay upright.

“I’m so sorry, Casper, but I’ve got some bad news. The loan fell through. I just found out. I wanted you to know quickly so you… so you don’t quit your job or something.”

“The loan fell through? As in, you’re not getting the building?” He sounded disbelieving.

“Yes. I’m so very sorry.”

“I just… that makes no sense. I was so certain.” Casper’s voice cracked.

Kevin dug in his pocket for another antacid.

“Are you having second thoughts about having the bakery there?”

“No. Not at all. Though I kinda wish that was the case. The loan truly fell through.”

There was a long pause. It seemed Casper was having an even harder time accepting the reality than Kevin was. “Why?”

A spark of irritation flashed. Kevin just wanted to get off the phone and be done with this. “It just did. These things happen sometimes.”

“But why? Did they say?”

What was going on with this guy? But honestly, what did it matter if Casper knew? At least it might get him off the phone. “My uncle’s credit wasn’t as good as everyone thought it was, basically, so it’s over.”

Another pause. “So you’re short for the down payment.”

Oh, for fuck!
“Yes.”

“How much?”

“Casper, I don’t mean to be rude, but I don’t want to hash through all of this. I just wanted you to know—”

Casper cut in, his voice firm. “How much? There’s a reason I’m asking.”

Kevin let the breath out of his nose slowly. “His portion was two hundred thousand dollars.”

“I can cover that.”

Kevin had to think through those words several times before he believed he’d heard the correct thing. “What?”

Casper’s tone grew excited again. “I can cover that! We can still get the brownstone.”

Despite himself, a modicum of hope began to blossom. Kevin tried to smother it. Better to accept than to be dashed against the rocks again. “Even if you could, there’s no time for you to get a loan for that. We were supposed to close in two days. Scott… the banker already said that we don’t have time to get another person to take out a second—”

“Kevin, listen to me. I can cover it. In cash.”

A billion thoughts crashed in a pileup inside his brain. “You have nearly a quarter of a million available in cash?”

“Yes.”

Who the hell was this man? “I thought you were a baker. Are you part of the mob or something?”

A warm chuckle floated over the line. “You’re the Italian. At least you look like it.”

“I’ll ignore that racist comment.” Kevin almost grinned. “If you have that much, why haven’t you started your own business already?”

“I don’t have much more than that, and you already know how much that will get you, at least in a place people would be willing to buy food. And I don’t have anyone else to cosign, like you do.”

“You could have surely rented a building with that much.”

“Not for a place I really wanted. Not for one that felt right. Nowhere close to this.”

“How do you have that much in cash?”

“Geesh, Kevin. I didn’t rob a bank. I didn’t ask you where you got your money.”

“Yes, you did.”

“Oh, right, I guess I did.” There was a pause, and then Casper continued awkwardly. “I had an aunt and uncle who lived in California who died a few years ago. I was their favorite… long story… anyway, they left me a little over three hundred thousand.”

“Wow.” Kevin felt a touch of jealousy, then shoved it aside. His family was basically doing the same thing, and they didn’t have to die to do it. “Do you have it where you can get it out easily, or will it take a week or—”

“I can get it by closing. No problem.”

It was all too much for Kevin to process accurately. Too fast. He never made hasty decisions. At least he hadn’t before a few weeks ago. In less than thirty minutes he was opening a wedding dress shop, then he wasn’t, and now it looked like he was again.

He really was going to throw up. His gut gurgled, and Kevin placed a firm palm over his stomach.

Casper’s voice was startling in his ear. “You’re not responding. Are you not wanting me to be part owner? That’s what you said people on the loan would have to be, right?”

“Oh. I hadn’t made that connection yet, honestly.” More gurgling.

“I can understand if you don’t. There’s a big difference between me renting from you and owning it with you.” Casper’s tone was slipping from the manic excitement to trepidation once more.

“Just give me a sec, let me think.”

With his family involved, Kevin would still have been completely in charge. At least as much as he ever would be with his family involved, financially or not. He would have still been in control with Casper renting from him. But this? His dream wasn’t to own a business with a stranger. He was supposed to do it on his own. Or with Scott.

Scott. He’d been about to do this with his husband at the time. Hardly a stranger. Look how that turned out.

What difference did it really make?

“Okay. Let’s do it.”

“Really?” Casper’s voice shot back to excitement instantly.

“Yeah. It’s now or never, right?”

“We got this! I can feel it. This is so going to work and be amazing.”

“I wish I was as certain as you.” Kevin couldn’t help but be jealous of Casper’s nearly childlike faith. Or naïveté. “Last chance, are you sure?”

“One trillion percent!”

Kevin chuckled. “Okay, then. I’ll call the banker real quick and see if we can switch Tony to your name on the loan. I’m betting since you’re bringing cash and not needing further financing, there won’t be a problem. Can you get off work to be at loan closing the day after tomorrow?”

Casper snorted. “Like I care if they say no. It would be a Christmas present to walk out and never come back.”