The Imperfection of Swans (27 page)

Another strange look crossed Kevin’s face, but Casper couldn’t read it. “No. It’s not that I want to sleep around. I actually really don’t.”

Well, that was good. “So we’re not sleeping with other people?” But they weren’t dating?

“Yeah, apparently it’s going to get weird.” This time when Kevin scooted farther away and made to sit up, it was more obvious.

Casper reached out, grabbing Kevin’s arm. He tried not to sound panicked. He should have shut up. “Let’s try this again. Let’s skip it all. Let’s skip the weirdness. I like you. A lot. Yes, we are business partners, but so the fuck what? The rest of this whole scheme is insane, and we’re both in over our heads. It shouldn’t work, but it’s going to. Let’s just believe that this will too.”

Kevin searched his face, but Casper had no idea what he was looking for. Whatever it was, it seemed he found it. “Okay.” His voice was tentative and barely audible.

“Really?”

A smile. His voice was more certain this time. “Yeah. Okay.”

Relief flooded through Casper.

“It’s kinda scary, huh?” Kevin grinned again. “Although, in an exciting way.”

“Yeah, it is,” Casper lied, but he figured it was the right thing to say. As soon as Kevin said okay, all fear had left. This was fate. And Casper had no doubts about the brownstone or its wedding-dress-loving owner.

Casper leaned closer and kissed Kevin softly, letting their lips linger. A different kiss than the ones before.

Kevin sighed.

“Let me take you on a date?”

“A date?”

Casper smiled and let his lips brush Kevin’s once more as he whispered, “Yeah, a date. You’re too good at that power bottoming thing to pretend you’ve never had one.”

Kevin laughed, loud enough it hurt Casper’s ears. “On one condition.”

“Yeah?”

He reached between them and tugged once more. “Prove that you’re ready to go again.”

KEVIN

MOST OF
the time when a person gets ready for a first date, they don’t spend part of the day with the other person. Kevin thought he preferred this new way. Before, when he’d go on a date, the entire day was spent in a state of stress. Excitement too, but mainly stress.

He didn’t feel that this time. Granted, it could be due to the amount of sex from the previous evening and that they’d known each other for so long. Kevin thought that with all the stress and nerves taken away by the predate activities, it might steal the thrill of it all.

It didn’t. As he and Casper worked around the brownstone, the giddy anticipation was thick in the air. Not that they were together very long. Kevin left before noon.

To make things even sweeter, when Kevin had walked in that morning, though it had only been six hours since he’d left—he had to keep up some appearances for his moms—Casper had given him a quick kiss on the lips and told him that would be the only kiss until their date that evening.

Kevin wasn’t sure if Casper’s intent was to separate their professional and private lives or just another way to drag out the anticipation. Judging from Casper’s light touches every time they passed, Kevin figured it was the latter.

Some of the predate jitters began to hit when Kevin was at the gym for a quick cardio session, in addition to becoming a little heady.

This truly was insane. He’d just ended things with Scott. Wasn’t there a rule about how long you had to stay single after a breakup? And wouldn’t he and Casper fall into the rebound category?

That wasn’t even beginning to take into account that they were owners of a business together. Everything about this was stupid.

Even his attraction to Casper didn’t make sense. Sure, Casper was kind of geeky hot. Which had never been Kevin’s taste. At all. But he had to admit, it was growing on him. And as shameful as it was to admit, he didn’t feel the pressure on his own looks like he did when he was with Scott. It might be an ugly truth, but it was the truth.

Kevin was glad they’d not had sex sooner. If he’d seen Casper’s dick before, he might not have trusted that he was truly attracted to Casper. But he was. The dick was just a bonus, a great bonus.

Casper wasn’t hot like Scott was hot. He wasn’t formal and proper. He wouldn’t step into a room and make everyone turn and stare just by being there.

Kevin knew he shouldn’t do the comparing game, but he couldn’t help it. Maybe that was the danger of trying to do this too soon after Scott.

Noelle’s voice crowded into his head.
He doesn’t bring you peace.

She’d been right. Scott had never brought him peace. He never made Kevin breathe easier.

Casper did. Even his face, though not as beautiful as Scott’s, made Kevin relax. His quickness to laugh. His trust in fate, and in them, that the business was going to be great. While Kevin didn’t really believe in fate, Casper’s faith in it brought him some serenity, though it made no sense.

And now Casper had faith that this dating business was going to work out too. Somehow, Kevin couldn’t pass up the opportunity to go along for the ride.

By the time cardio was over, Kevin had exorcized most of his mental demons, at least as much as he ever did. He was back to simply being excited about the date. And, he was pleased to realize, he looked forward to seeing Casper again, date or otherwise. He wished he’d brought a change of clothes to the gym so he didn’t have to go back to JP to get ready. He’d rather start the date early.

KEVIN HAD
showered and gotten ready and was nearly skipping down the stairs when Noelle’s voice stopped him.

“Kevin. What a nice surprise.”

Kevin turned and found Noelle peering at him from the kitchen.

“Oh, hi. I thought I’d be the only one here.”

She put down whatever she was doing and walked toward him, wiping her hands on her jeans. “I had a couple of cancelations at the salon, so I came home to put the chicken in the marinade. Will you be home for dinner this evening?”

“Ah, no. I have plans this evening. But thanks.”

She smiled knowingly. “You have a date.”

He gaped at her. “I’ll never understand how you do that. I think you might be a witch or something.”

“Well, you were practically prancing down the steps, you’re newly showered, and you look even more handsome than normal.”

“I’m still going with witch.” He glanced at his watch. It was almost two thirty. “I’m about to run late, though. So I need to go.”

“Kinda early for a date, isn’t it?”

“Well, Casper wanted to meet around three over by the restaurant he used to work at. It seemed a little early to me too.”

Noelle attempted to cover her huge smile with her fingers. “Casper?”

Shit
. He hadn’t even realized he’d slipped.

She didn’t wait for him to answer. “Well, it’s about time.”

“About time?” Kevin rolled his eyes. “If it was any sooner, we would have had to start dating before we even met.”

“Sometimes I swear Renata had you cloned from her DNA.” She reached out and squeezed Kevin’s hand. “You’d better go. You don’t want to keep this one waiting any longer. And tell him hi from his future—”

“If you say mother-in-law, I’m going to have to see about having you committed. I swear you’re insane.”

“Love you, Kev. See you tomorrow. We won’t wait up.”

“Now you’re just being gross.” He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and then rushed out the door.

Between her and Casper, if fate weren’t already on their side, it would be now.

“COME ON.
We’re going to be late.”

Kevin let Casper grab his hand and drag him through the Boston Public Garden’s entrance. “Late for what? The park doesn’t close in the middle of the day. Or did you make reservations for dinner at a place that has a blue-hair special?”

“Oh, just come on.” Casper grinned over his shoulder and picked up his speed, passing the sculpture of the seven ducklings and their mother without even a glance.

It only took a few more seconds for Kevin to realize where they were going. He hadn’t thought about the boats in years. He’d loved them as a kid and then was dragged here by Noelle when he was in high school. He wasn’t sure if he’d even been in the park since.

When they arrived at the dock, Casper let out a curse under his breath. There was no one else in line. “Did we miss it?”

A high school aged boy in a matching dull blue hat, sweater, and shorts uniform shook his head. “Nope, it’s 3:45. You made it in time for the last ride. And it looks like you’ll have the boat to yourself.”

The smile Casper turned upon Kevin made Kevin feel that Noelle and Casper might just know what they were talking about.

“See, Kev? Fate. I didn’t even plan it like this. Not that I would even know how.” He stood back, ushering Kevin onto the boat, of sorts. It had seven rows of long wooden park benches for seats, perched on a platform above what looked like two canoes. Kevin chose the middle one.

The attendant hopped onto the boat as well, joining a girl wearing the same blue uniform behind the giant swan that domineered the back of the boat.

Casper slid in beside him. He looked a bit tense, which was strange.

In less than half a minute, the near-child conductors launched the boat into the lagoon. Casper relaxed and smiled at Kevin. “I was afraid some other couple might come rushing up.”

“I thought you had faith in fate.” Kevin couldn’t help but jibe.

“Well, I’m only human. And, once again, fate proved that it didn’t need my worry.” He reached out, clasped Kevin’s hand and moved it to his lap, entwined their fingers, and held it gently. “This okay?”

It was such a tender gesture. Very different from on the marble the night before.

Kevin wasn’t certain he could answer, so he just nodded.

They sat in comfortable silence as the boat glided over the water. Kevin wasn’t sure why it had been so many years since he’d been to the park. It looked like a fairy tale, somehow even more than in his childhood memories. As a kid, he supposed he’d thought the entire world looked like this; as an adult, he could appreciate how rare it truly was. Giant trees spread throughout the park, and willows dipped their branches into the lagoon. Ducks and geese swam alongside them, peering up with nearly doglike curiosity, hoping for some food.

After a bit, the kids steering the boat began talking quietly, their soft voices muffled behind the huge swan, creating a soothing background hum. Casper unlinked their fingers and draped his arm over Kevin’s shoulders. Kevin leaned back into him, awkward at first as they were the same height, which he wasn’t used to, but then discovered he fit quite naturally.

Everything slowed.

His breath escaped in a long, contented sigh. He swore he could feel stress leaving his body.

If Noelle was a witch, Casper definitely had some kind of magic of his own. Kevin had never encountered anyone who made him feel this way. He glanced up at Casper. “You kinda make my mind shut off. I noticed it last night after we… well after. My brain just goes quiet.”

Casper squeezed his arm tighter over Kevin’s shoulder, drawing him closer.

Silence fell once more, each of them content to simply be a part of this surreal paradise in the middle of Boston. The sun warmed the soft breeze. Against the far bank, Casper pointed out a pair of actual swans, nesting, each of their heads dipping to rearrange the twigs of their nest.

The boat circled the small island in the middle of the lagoon on its final lap. People were milling about the park. Not tons, but more than Kevin would expect for late afternoon on a weekday. However, none of them were loud, all seeming caught up in whatever spell Casper or fate had cast.

When the swan boat began to angle toward the dock, Casper twisted on the bench and looked back at the kids. “I know your shift is over, but there’ll be a twenty for each of you if you’ll do one more session.”

“We’re not supposed to do that, actually. It’s against—”

The girl cut off her male counterpart. She motioned toward the dock. “No one is there or will even notice.” She smiled at them. “How long have you two been together? You’re so sweet.”

Casper grinned, a look of pride over his face. “First date, actually.”

The girl looked meaningfully at her fellow conductor.

He shrugged. “Okay. Fine with me. I could use twenty bucks anyway.”

As the boat launched for another fifteen-minute journey, Kevin settled back into Casper’s arms. Casper reached over with his free hand and held Kevin’s hand, wrapping him in an embrace.

Kevin waited for the feeling of claustrophobia to come. And it should, it always had before when he’d been held so closely.

It didn’t.

And when it didn’t, it almost brought tears to his eyes.

In this moment, all anxiety was gone. What they were doing should have him popping Xanax like crazy. He hadn’t needed one all day. His acid reflux was alive and kicking up flames, but Kevin was so used to it, and so at peace in everything else, he barely noticed.

Somewhere over the water, when they were close to the nesting swans once more, Kevin almost broke the silence. Almost said words that should terrify him, that should doom any first date.