The Imperfection of Swans (13 page)

Kevin nodded slowly. “Yes, that’s true. Except for when there are sample sales and we sell whatever is on the rack.”

“So, for the most part, a bride’s dress will only be out in the open when she tries it on for alteration and final fittings. Maybe two or three times, tops. That’s not enough time for the smell to even come close to saturating it.”

Kevin deflated some in relief. “That’s a good point. Okay. That’s good. That can work.” Casper could actually see the next anxiety-producing thought dart into Kevin’s mind. He stiffened once more. “But the smell. It will make people want to eat. That’s the last thing a woman trying to lose weight for her wedding will want to do.”

Wow. It truly was painful to look at Kevin. Casper could see the storms raging within him. How he’d not noticed until this night, he couldn’t fathom. It looked exhausting to be in Kevin’s mind. Again, that desire to rescue. He didn’t push it away this time. “Tell you what. I took a few classes in school about baking with fewer calories. I’ll start playing around with some recipes. I’ll create some things that are small, delicious, and guilt-free, so that those women can have the best of everything. And we can check into installing a venting system to cut down on the smell. Sound okay?”

“Yeah. That sounds good, thank you.”

Casper could tell Kevin wasn’t convinced, and he pretended not to notice when Kevin slipped another white anxiety pill out of his pocket a few minutes later.

One thing was for certain. Casper had made up his mind. He was going to hire a company to come in and clear the place out. He wasn’t sure how to help Kevin, but that much, at least, he could do.

KEVIN

KEVIN HAD
no clue how he was going to do it all. None. Even if he worked every day without sleeping. He couldn’t get the brownstone cleaned up and his apartment packed all at the same time. He supposed he should really focus on his apartment. He’d found someone to take over his lease, but they wanted the place by the third of January. Less than four days.

But still. He didn’t want to. He wanted to be at the brownstone. Getting it ready. Emptying out the trash. Getting it spotless so he could really tell what needed repairing and updating and what simply hadn’t been cleaned since the last World War. He’d tried to start packing at the apartment, but it never lasted more than half an hour. The brownstone would rise up in his mind, bigger than its four stories of windows and ivy, and block out all else. Just knowing there were piles of garbage festering in what would soon be covered in racks of wedding dresses made it hard for him to sleep.

An hour. He’d just carry more crap down from Casper’s level for an hour. His moms were meeting him to help pack his apartment at seven, so he had a bit of time.

As he unlocked the doors of the brownstone, the evening winter breeze brought the smell of the Atlantic. It caught him by surprise, and he breathed deep, taking in the muggy saltiness. Kevin let out a contented sigh. He couldn’t fathom people who didn’t live by the ocean. It made absolutely no sense.

That peaceful feeling evaporated when he started to push open the door and prepared himself for the god-awful mess. He paused before he’d opened the entrance more than a couple of inches.

Be proactive
. He felt in his pocket, retrieved a Xanax, bit it in half, and shoved the unused portion back into his jeans.

Half should do it. He was prepared.

He could do this.

His mind full of positive self-talk and his blood soon to be filled with calming chemicals, Kevin pushed open the door the rest of the way and stepped inside. He blanched.

They’d been robbed!

No. Wait. That didn’t make sense. There was nothing to rob.

Kevin stared around the room, his jaw agape. There was no trash. Not one speck. The room was empty, save for dust, judging from the footprints everywhere.

Barely allowing himself to believe, he darted across the room and rushed up the stairs.

He nearly cried when he got to the top. It was gone. All of it. All the slowly rotting furniture, the oven, the fridge from hoarder’s hell. All that was left was the electrical and water hookups jutting from the floor and walls.

It was too much. Wonderfully too much.

Kevin walked over the space, really able to see it for the first time. With all the crap gone, he realized the ceilings were taller than normal on this floor as well. Nothing compared to the double level downstairs, but still. A nearly crazed, childlike laugh of glee escaped him. At the sound he covered his mouth, but couldn’t suppress the giggles. He could see Casper’s bakery up here; he could almost smell the cakes baking. For once that thought didn’t cause a panic.

The brownstone was going to be gorgeous. He’d almost not believed it since the first time he’d walked through. The trash and crap everywhere had become too overwhelming.

He leaned against the wall, too relieved to do much more than bask in the empty space. Even the prospect of cleaning seemed more exciting suddenly, like dusting off a filthy diamond. Or watching a homely girl getting a makeover and discovering how beautiful she actually was. Kevin laughed at himself. He’d seen every episode of
What Not to Wear
. He missed that show.

As he straightened, another thought pushed him into action. He was willing to bet…. If Casper had all this done, he didn’t seem the type to do it halfway. A fact that made Kevin trust Casper before he could claim he really knew him.

Kevin hoped Casper had done it all the way. This time he moved slower up the steps, afraid he was going to be disappointed. Stupid really. He wasn’t planning on doing anything with the space, but he so wanted to be right about Casper. It suddenly felt immensely important.

Arriving at the top, he didn’t pause, but pushed open the door to the small apartment.

This time a tear slid down his cheek, which he barely noticed. Casper was the man Kevin’s gut had told him Casper was. Thorough.

Like the levels below, it was empty. Not even a candy bar wrapper anywhere. Kevin stepped inside, finally able to get a real look at the apartment. There was no trash, but except for the wall of windows, the space still didn’t look like it would ever be as beautiful as the rest of the brownstone.

However, he couldn’t care less.

It was done. All of it was done.

Relaxation rushed through his body. A rare sensation. A very different one than the type offered by the Xanax.

He couldn’t imagine how Casper had gotten a crew to come out in less than a day, much less how much he’d probably paid. Whatever it had been, though he was surprised to think so, it had been worth it.

Kevin tried to call Casper, but it went to voice mail. He was glad, because if Casper had answered, he probably really would have cried. He left a message.

He was nearly back to his apartment when Casper texted. Unable to wait, he glanced at it while driving.

You’re more than welcome. I thought we needed to start with a clean slate.

A few moments later, another chime sounded in his car.

Did you check the crawl space? I had them clear it out too.

Kevin thought he might be in love.

“DEAR GOD,
Kevin! I can’t believe you lived like this!”

Kevin managed to not say anything back. She was helping him, after all. Still, that had to be the fifth time his mother had uttered those two sentences in the hour and a half.

From where he perched on top of the kitchen counter emptying cabinets, he could hear Noelle scolding her wife. “They’re just blinds, Renata. Not everyone cleans them weekly like you.”

“Well, I thought I taught him better.” She raised her voice, as if he couldn’t hear her before. “I hope you keep your old room in better shape, Kevin. It’s not good to live in squalor. Not to mention your new shop!”

Even from his removed position, he could hear the two women begin to bicker in hushed tones. He honestly didn’t know why Noelle even tried to talk sense anymore.

Squalor, his ass. All his coworkers made fun of what a neat freak he was, going so far as to slightly turn a vase or picture frame when they came into his office to see how long it would take him to notice.

It never took very long, thank you very much.

Despite Renata’s constant state of shock at her son’s ability to live in a trash heap, the three of them had made a huge dent in all that needed done in the apartment. Granted, the apartment was small. It was the first place he’d rented after the divorce. He’d been stressed and depressed. The apartment was new, clean, and bright, and that was all he’d cared about. And the small square footage had made the place feel safe and secure, something he’d desperately needed. He’d painted every room in rich, calming tones and made it his own.

Oh, he’d forgotten. He was supposed to paint them all back to white when he moved out. Ah, fuck it. They could keep his deposit.

After a few minutes, Noelle padded into the kitchen, wearing her new flannel Christmas pajamas. Kevin had no idea how she wasn’t burning up with all the work they were doing. “You doing okay in here, hon?”

Sweet Noelle. He smiled at her reassuringly. “Of course, Noelle. I have met my mom before, you know.”

“I know, but still. She’s just so stressed with all the change.” She rushed on as if she’d made a mistake. “Not that she’s not excited about it or in support.”

“Oh, of course. I’m certain she’s fully on board by now.” He snorted. “She’s still not over when I pierced my ears. And those have been grown shut for nearly fifteen years.”

“You look handsome either way.” She winked at him. “However, I did happen to agree with Renata on those. Diamonds are a bit much unless you’re a rapper.”

“They were Uncle Tony’s idea.”

“Surely you know by now he suggested that just to drive your mom crazy.”

“Yeah. I do.” He lifted a heavy glass pitcher that he never used from the back of the cabinet. “Here, would you mind taking this for me? I’ll break it if I try to get down with it in my hands.”

“Of course, love.” Noelle took the pitcher, set it on the opposite counter, and then lifted a hand to help Kevin down.

“Speaking of, do you think Tony and Rick will work things out?”

Noelle shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. I think Rick has agreed to counseling, but Tony is so angry. It may be too little, too late. Though I hope not.”

Renata called out again from the other room, her tone half-playful, half-serious. “I can’t hear what you’re saying, but I know you two are gossiping about me. Knock it off. It’s rude.”

Kevin and Noelle grinned conspiratorially at each other, and Kevin raised his voice again. “Actually, Mom, we’ve moved on to more current events.”

It only took a moment before Renata rounded the corner, a glass of Chianti in her hands. “Then that means you’re talking about Tony. And that’s not all right either, unless I’m included.”

Kevin couldn’t help but laugh. Lord, she drove him batshit. It would really help if he wasn’t exactly like her. Thank God for Noelle, or the two of them would kill each other.

Renata took a sip of her wine, savored, then spoke again. “I talked to Tony this afternoon. He thinks they are going to have to sell their house. And even that won’t clear all of Rick’s debts. They’ll probably have to declare bankruptcy. Can you imagine? Having to start all over again with nothing?”

“Those poor men.”

“Those poor
men
? Seriously, Noelle! Don’t you waste a moment feeling sorry for Rick.” Renata lifted a condemning finger. “He brought this on himself and is taking my brother, the man he
claimed
to love, down with him.”

Noelle made another attempt, and once more Kevin wondered why she tried. Love sure made a person do crazy things. “Rick is part of our family too, dear. We need to support them both.”

“Well, I don’t think—”

The door chime cut Renata’s rant short.

Saved by the bell.

Kevin was nearly to the door when he realized who was waiting on the other side. Suddenly he wished he could run into the living room and remind his mom how long it had been since he’d dusted the blinds.

Well, bring on the shit storm.

He undid the dead bolt.

Kevin tried to give a warning when he opened the door, but Scott was too fast for him, giving him a quick kiss on his lips and then stooping to give him a hug.

He paused before his arms were fully around Kevin. “Oh.”

Kevin turned awkwardly and saw both his moms staring at them, matching shocked expressions covering their faces. He stepped away as Scott straightened.

For a second, Scott attempted to hide the solitary rose and wine bottle he’d brought behind his back. Then he seemed to think better of it and handed them to Kevin, then gave a forced smile to the staring ladies in the hall. “Hi, Renata, Noelle. It’s been a while. How’ve you been?”

“Uh-huh.” Renata was never at a loss for words, and the fact that she seemed to be experiencing that sensation scared Kevin to death.

Noelle fared better, though her tone was colder than her usual. “We’re good. How are you, Scott?”