The Honey Thief (34 page)

When you are serving, keep to the Afghan custom of allowing your family and guests to fill their bowls at the table, or from the cloth spread on the floor. For the
aash
, use deep bowls. Provide more than enough
naan
.

Kofta Nakhod

This is a recipe in which chickpeas play a big part, as they do in many Afghan dishes. And this being so, you might think that Afghanistan has many, many fields of chickpeas under cultivation. But no, we don’t, and this is a disappointment. Our chickpeas come mostly from India, and the Indians first saw the chickpea when a traveller from their country brought it back from Afghanistan. In fact the Indians call the variety of chickpeas they grow
kabuli
, which in their language of Hindi means ‘from Kabul’. Chickpeas need more rainfall than most regions of Afghanistan can provide, or if not rainfall then irrigation. Most irrigation in Afghanistan is of the old-fashioned sort, with channels that are forever becoming clogged with debris, and the
shadoof
in place of a pump. If you wish to see how Adam cultivated his fields, come to my country.

But back to business. For
kofta nakhod
, you will need:

One cup of dried
chickpeas
.

One big brown
onion
,
grated.

Ground black pepper
.

A small quantity of
cinnamon
and
dried mint
.

Salt
.

One kilo of
ground beef
.

Enough
plain flour
to cover the palm of your hand, sifted three times.

You have to think ahead to make this dish. The chickpeas must be soaked in hot water for ten hours, then drained in your
chalow saffi
. Next, grind up the chickpeas either with an electrical device or with the tines of a fork, as most women do in Afghanistan. (The electrical device is much easier, of course. If I had my will, every wife in Afghanistan would be given one of these devices. But then there is the problem of electricity.) You must grind the chickpeas very finely, so if you are using the old-fashioned method, be patient. Now mix the chickpea meal with the flesh of the grated brown onion. Do you know the method for preventing your eyes from filling with tears while you are grating onion? If you do, please contact me at the address of the publisher. Add the pepper, cinnamon and the mint, making sure that the mint is crushed into fragments. And a certain amount of salt. How much salt is ‘a certain amount’? More than too little, less than too much. Now mix the seasoned chickpea meal with the ground meat and the sifted flour. Be very thorough in mixing the meat and chickpea meal. Now make the meatballs, taking care that you do not roll them too firmly. You be the judge. By the way, it is the custom in some parts of the world to roll meatballs in the armpit. But not in Afghanistan. The meatballs should be just the right size to make a mouthful.

Okay, now boil water in a deep saucepan. Drop the meatballs into the boiling water one by one, with maybe five seconds between each meatball. When all the meatballs are in the saucepan, turn the heat down so that the water is only simmering. Some people swear that the lid should be on the saucepan during the time of simmering – that’s about forty-five minutes – some swear that the lid should be left off. Whatever your prejudice, the meatballs will still be perfectly cooked in forty-five minutes.

The
kofta nakhod
can be served with soup, but not
in
the soup. That is not our custom. Or they can be served with Basmati prepared in the Afghan way. Plenty of
naan
.

Boulanee

These are versions of what in England would be called ‘pasties’ or ‘Cornish pasties’. Actually, types of
boulanee
are found everywhere. But the original and best come from Afghanistan. Is there a case for us to patent
boulanee
, as the French and Italians have patented their wines and cheeses? Maybe not. Who cares?
Boulanee
are delicious; you eat one, you eat two, you decline a third, remembering what Our Prophet said of excess in eating: ‘What will feed one man will feed two; what will feed two men will feed three.’ Then you eat the third.

Now, promise me this: you will make your own pastry to enclose the
boulanee
filling. If you wished to, you could go to the supermarket and buy sheets of pastry prepared in a factory, or packets of eggroll envelopes. No. If you are going to enjoy
boulanee
, enjoy the preparation too. When you eat them, you can think, ‘These are from my own hand.’ If we are to enjoy food, let it be an enjoyment we earn.

This is what you will need to make
boulanee:

Three-and-a-half cups of
plain flour
.

Olive oil,
or
sesame
.

Maybe two
potatoes
. Better that they should be red-skinned, each about the size of the fist of a child of three years.

A few fresh
spring onions
.

One handful of fresh
coriander leaves
, chopped very finely.

Salt
.

Ground black pepper
.

Start with the pastry. Sift the flour into a bowl. Add some salt – a sensible quantity, not too much; you are seasoning only the pastry at this stage. Blend the salt in with the sifted flour. Now very gradually add a cup of water. The water should not be too cold, and it shouldn’t be warm. Once the water has been added, pour in the oil. Bring everything in the bowl together and knead it with your fingertips, not too violently. If you feel the dough is a little too dry, add more water but very, very little at a time. Fashion the dough into a ball then knead it on a surface dusted with flour for maybe ten minutes, maybe eleven. You want the dough to become a breathing thing, not a dead thing. Once you are satisfied that the dough is alive and well, return it to the bowl and cover the bowl with a tea-towel, a little damp. The dough is going to develop its flavour over the period of an hour under the damp cloth. Do not be tempted to hurry this process along. Have a book to read, or a magazine. Not a magazine about film stars and diets and scandals. A sensible magazine. Not too many pictures.