The Honey Thief (35 page)

Okay, put the magazine or the book aside and boil the two red-skinned potatoes. Keep an eye on the potatoes as they boil. Remove them from the water just as they are beginning to shed their skins. Peel the skins off completely. Put the naked potatoes into a mixing bowl and turn your attention to the spring onions. Slice the onions from the bulb upwards to the green leaves very finely – a single slice of the white bulb should be so thin that you can almost read your magazine through it. Do not use the very tips of the green leaves, just the healthiest part. Add the spring onions to the bowl, and the coriander. Did you know that the leaves of the coriander bush are spoken of in the stories of Scheherazade – in
One Thousand and One Nights
? Yes, they are said to have the power to arouse in those who eat them thoughts of romance. If you wish to be aroused in this way, my best advice is to eat a great deal of coriander. Back to business. You add the arousing coriander, cut very finely as I say, to the mixing bowl, and the ground black pepper, as much as will sit in the centre of your palm, and some salt (enough to season two potatoes) and two big spoonfuls of olive oil or sesame oil. Then mix it, mashing the potatoes thoroughly.

Now take an amount of dough from the ball of dough, about as much as would equal the size of one of the potatoes you used, or a little smaller. On a surface dusted with flour, roll out the dough nice and thin, no thicker than the band of the wedding ring on your finger. The dough will spread to almost one-and-a-half hand spans. From this rounded shape of dough, cut circles one-and-a-half times the length of your middle finger. You will get maybe three circles from your larger circle of dough, and some left over, maybe enough to fashion a fourth small circle. Now make another large circle of dough, and more small circles, until all the dough is used. Spread an amount of the seasoned potato mix on each shape, not all the way to the edge, then fold each in half and seal the edges by pressing the dough together with the tips of your fingers. Heat a good quantity of your olive or sesame oil in a broad pan until it is good and hot. Now brown each
boulanee
on both sides. The
boulanee
is ready when the pastry has turned a friendly golden colour.

Let the
boulanee
cool for fifteen minutes. Clean up the kitchen. Read another page of your book, maybe. Then eat a
boulanee
and thank God that you have the tastebuds and the appetite to do justice to what you have fashioned.

Chelo Nakhod

A stew made with chickpeas and chicken. Wonderful. I thank God for the invention of the chicken.

What you will need:

A
chicken
, above all. A fat, happy chicken – one that has spent her life eating harlequin beetles and earthworms and grass seeds; a free-range chicken, as they are known in the West. In Afghanistan, all chickens are free-range. It would come as a shock to any Afghan chicken to hear of enclosures that prevent a fowl from flapping her wings and digging in the dirt. Chickens and cows and sheep and goats live happier lives in my poor, Third World country than many of the people. Nobody drops bombs on them.

Five or six
bay leaves.

A quantity of
dried chickpeas
, enough to fill the bowl from which you eat your porridge in the morning.

Three stalks of
celery
, including the leaves, cut finely across the grain.

Two big
brown onions
,
chopped into small pieces.

A nice
carrot
, sliced lengthways and then sliced into small pieces.

A big
zucchini
, sliced lengthways into four sections then each of the four sections sliced into three sections lengthways.

A pinch of
cumin seed
.

A few spoonfuls of
fresh dill
, chopped finely.

A few spoonfuls of
fresh coriander
, chopped finely.

The juice of two good
lemons
.

Ground black pepper
.

Salt
.

Basmati rice
.

Sesame oil
.

It is the night before the day on which you will make this
chelo nakhod
. Take the chickpeas and soak them in a big bowl of hot water overnight. Read your book before you go to sleep. If you are married, be sure to kiss your wife or your husband before you close your eyes. Speak some loving words, if possible.

Use the big pot that you have so much trouble fitting into your dishwasher for this
chelo nakhod.
Fill it two-thirds with water, place it on the heating surface and bring the water to the boil. Place the whole chicken in the pot then add the bay leaves. Cook the chicken for one hour with the lid on the pot, but every ten minutes take the lid off and skim away anything that has formed on the surface. Read your book while the chicken is boiling, or do a crossword puzzle. Not a Sudoku.

After an hour the chicken will be falling away from the bones. Take the pot off the heating surface and remove the chicken, without burning your fingers. On another surface, one you can wipe down, pull the flesh of the chicken from the bones, including the flesh on the legs. Remove the skin, too, which will be loose and will come away readily. Make sure you get every last piece of chicken flesh!

Now skim the surface of the water in which the chicken cooked one more time. Remove the bay leaves. Return the chicken pieces to the pot and to the water in which it cooked. Into this big pot, tip the softened chickpeas, the celery stalks, the brown onions, the carrot, zucchini, cumin seed, fresh coriander, dill, the lemon juice and salt – just enough. Also the ground black pepper; just a little more than enough. Let the pot simmer for one hour.